Four: The Last Straw
Disclaimer: not mine.
Warning: lameness. Please watch out.

canon verse : post-SS arc spoilers : rated K+

Ichigo didn't really know what to expect when the Karakura Advanced Guard appeared at his classroom.

Honestly, six Shinigami in a school? What were they thinking? He'd have to take responsibility for all of them and their ignorance...Which brought him to this current situation at the top of the roof during lunch hour.

'Ichigo!' Ikkaku hurled a nicely wrapped rice ball at said carrot's head.

'Ow! What?' He bit his tongue, trying his best not to swear in front of the ladies.

'Open that,' he snarled, pointing his wooden sword at the shiny little plastic package.

'Uh, alright? Look, I'll show you, okay? You grab this little green tab, and pull it in the direction of the arrow. It's like opening Pocky-'

'Pocky? What's that?'

'Uh, never mind that. Look, just pull it gently, and the wrapper comes off! It's as easy as that!' With a smirk, he ripped the green tab right off, sending the rice ball flying back into Ikkaku's face. Dropping the wrapper in the bald man's lap, he turned tail and hid behind Matsumoto.

'That's not very pretty,' Yumichika commented, daintily shelling as many rice balls as he could of their little plastic wrappers.

'Ichigo-kun?' Matsumoto commenced on her lunch. 'Could you help me figure out this strange contraption? It says..."Juice". How do I drink it?'

'Rukia knows, bother her instead,' the orange-haired Substitute Shinigami mumbled between mouthfuls of rice ball that he'd been pilfering from Yumichika (He didn't need that many, anyway, he reassured himself).

However, seconds later he was tortured with the shrill screams of two females - incidentally, the two who had been attempting to drink juice.

'What now?' he was losing his temper, and he was losing it fast.

'It's broken!' Matsumoto and Rukia chorused in dismay, presenting a straw bent at the join - nothing wrong, he thought.

'It's not! That's how it's supposed to look!' and angrily, he jammed the straw into the packet. 'There. Drink up.'

'Actually, Ichigo,' Renji butted in, 'Maybe you'd like to help me unwrap this sandwich I got from that funny machine there?'

'Works like the rice ball.'

'Never eaten one before.'

'There's always a first. Be gentle to the poor bread, Renji!' Ichigo squawked in horror as a combination of egg and mayonnaise came squirting out from the package.

Seriously, these people were ruining the supposed age of knowledge and technology.

'Kurosaki. Juice. Open.' and Ichigo found himself saddled with another packet of juice. Nearly mangling the packet in his frustration, he skewered it with a little plastic tube and dropped it, leaking, into Hitsugaya's lap.

'Alright, that's the last straw! I can't take it anymore! Leave me alone and open your own lunch!'

Hitsugaya looked up blankly. 'If I'm not wrong, Kurosaki, this is the only straw.'

A/N: I told you. It's lame again, though you actually should have seen it coming. Please review! (and suggest phrases with potential, 'cause I'm just winging it now...)