" So, uhm… here we are, I guess," Phoebe announced, once they'd arrived outside Ross's apartment building, this being the first group of words she'd uttered, ever since she'd kicked her cab back into gear.
" Yeah… uh, thanks for dropping me off," Ross retorted nervously. Then, he was just about to open up his door, ready to bolt out of the car like the wind, when all of a sudden, he caught sight of her left-hand once again, from the corner of his eye.
" Hey, Pheebs: you know what? I don't think you should go back home to Mike like that," he mused aloud, while slowly sliding open said door.
" Like what?!" the feisty blonde demanded, clearly offended by his statement, as she didn't quite catch the meaning behind it.
" No, hey: calm down, I didn't mean to insult you or anything. I was just talking about the, well you know…" her friend tried, as he made a vague gesture with his hand, before quickly staring down at his feet when a very unwanted, yet shamefully agreeable image from their earlier encounter, came rushing back along with the words he'd just spoken.
" Ugh… no, I don't! You know what, Ross? I'm tired and really bummed both from being exposed to all of your depressing negativity, for way too long, as over Rachel, Chandler and Monica moving away all at once, so I'm in no mood for guessing games, alright?! I mean: for the love of God! This isn't one of your sisters carefully mapped-out charade-nights."
" The ring, Pheebs. I'm talking about your ring, you know: the same ring with my " iffy" " over-gelled" strands of hair trapped inside!" Ross raised his own voice, mockingly mimicking the offending adjectives Phoebe had used to describe his hair earlier, while slamming his door shut again, to shield himself from a sudden gust of wind.
" Oh, oh, right… yeah, of course. Well, what do you propose we do about it, then, brainiac? I still can't tear it off of my finger, ya know, so… like… did you think of something useful? I hardly doubt it," the woman in question declared, in a frustrated, yet at the same time interested tone of voice, secretly hoping that the guy opposite her, could provide a solution for her minor, though possibly story-telling problem.
' Okay, he IS supposed to be the smart one out of all of us, so he might come up with something good,' the masseuse found herself thinking, as she eyed her friend expectantly.
" Well… yeah, actually I have: you know, I still have that vanity bag, which I borrowed from Chandler once, lying around in the bathroom, and I'm sure there are tweezers in there somewhere. I bet we could put them to good use."
" Wait a minute: Chandler has a VANITY BAG, which YOU borrowed? Okay, so…. Chandler's off the hook, seeing as he's married to a woman, but… I think I ought to tell you there's just the slightest possibility, that I might have to rethink YOUR sexuality now. Ya know: just a little, like a teeny tiny bit," Phoebe stated playfully, while squeezing her thumb and index finger really close together.
" Well, I''ll have you know that in this day and age, it's perfectly normal for guys to groom themselves, Pheebs. And there's nothing wrong with helping your face along, by applying a few anti-aging moisturizers, once in a while. It doesn't mean that we're gay, or even remotely as obsessed with our looks, as you women are, " Ross bravely defended himself, hereby prompting his friend to send him a condescending smirk.
" Ooh hey, mister paleontologist: is that a wrinkle I spot?" she subsequently teased, feigning alarm, as she pointed to a spot right below his eyelids.
" What, are you serious?! Where… where?! Tell me where, Phoebe!" said paleontologist shrieked, while swiftly shoving his face right up against the rear-view mirror and stretching out the patch of skin, which his blonde friend had indicated, studying it intently.
" Well, not to worry… you don't have a single crease, but that look on your face was just too priceless for words. So… what were you saying about us women again?" the masseuse proclaimed, as she chuckled heartily, prompting Ross to fire an annoyed glare her way.
" So… not gay, huh?" she subsequently asked, treating her friend to an impish grin, as an amused twinkle appeared in her eye, at the exact same time. Secretly, she was kind of relieved that they were back to their usual banter, as it helped her detach her mind from the nonsensical events, which had passed between them, not even a full hour ago.
Ross said nothing in response, only stared straight ahead and bit his lip in frustration, because even though the blonde possessed the ability to cheer him up, she also happened to retain a countering quality, which could drive him nuts, from time to time.
" You never fool a Buffay, you know... definitely not when it comes down to detecting gay vibes," Phoebe went on cheerfully, really only intending to ruffle his feathers a little, for her own entertainment. She knew he wasn't like that, after all… ever since he'd blown her away with his fooling around-skills earlier.
It was at this statement, that Ross slowly turned around to face her, fully ready to give her a piece of his mind, when all of a sudden his gaze fell upon her gleeful face, and his body gave out an order, which he wouldn't ever have perceived to use as a strategy in their little battle of wits, up until this very day:
' Kiss her. PROVE to her that you're anything BUT gay.'
Then, suddenly noticing the strange glint in her friend's eyes, while he watched her intently, Phoebe's smile slowly faded, as she currently reached what had to be about the highest level of confusion.
There were two things she could pick up on in Ross's hazel-colored orbs: one was irritation, which she understood perfectly. Ross always got worked up about the stupidest of things, after all… but there was something else there… something… God, she hadn't the faintest idea what it was. Even with all her psychic abilities, she wasn't able to detect what could be racing through his head, at this very minute.
" Okay, Geller, what's yo…" she began, only to get cut-off mid-sentence, as her friend suddenly surged forward, swiftly cupped her cheeks in both of his hands, and kissed her deeply, hereby lightly biting down on her bottom lip, in order to gain maximum access to the enticing recesses of her mouth, which he'd already explored, not all that long ago.
" There, not so gay now anymore, am I?" he subsequently inquired, lips painted with a satisfactory smirk, after he'd slowly pulled back from her.
He was now desperately trying to make himself believe, that he'd only did, what he'd just done to prove a point. Not because he'd been yearning to taste her lips, ever since they'd guiltily called a stop to their previous, lustful practices. And most certainly not, because he'd been longing to feel the softness of her smooth skin against his palm, ever since then…
" Nuhu," Phoebe retorted hoarsely, right before she suddenly surprised him, by grabbing a firm hold of his collar and bringing his face as close to hers, as it would possibly get.
Her paleontologist friend was just closing his eyes, anticipating the predictable thing as her hot, heavy breaths rolled over his lips, when all of a sudden, there was a loud exclamation of: " No!" This statement promptly being followed up by an abrupt dull pain, at the back of his head.
" Ouch! Phoebe, what…" Ross mumbled, while rubbing over the sore spot, slowly assessing what had happened, when he felt the cold of a glass pane, against the back of his hand, and saw his friend muttering to herself, in the driver's seat.
" Why did you have to do that? Throwing me up against that window?! It really hurts, you know!"
" Just because, so, uhm… yeah, like… can you just get the hell out of my cab now, please? Ya know, just like… scram?!" the blonde rambled fretfully, while positioning her chin down onto the steering wheel.
" No."
" Oh, I'm sorry: did you just say no? As in the negative n-word? Wow, I thought we'd passed the whole negativity-extravaganza, but you're just full of gloomy surprises today, aren't you?" she retorted rather bitterly, firmly keeping her gaze fixed on the large building in front of her.
" Phoebe… we need to talk about what just happened."
" Nothing happened!"
" Don't say that! Now be honest: you were about to kiss me just now, weren't you?"
" Noo!" Phoebe scoffed unconvincingly.
" Phoebe," Ross whined, as he placed a hesitant hand on her upper-arm.
" Well, you kissed me first!" she subsequently roared in a high-pitched voice, as she agitatedly began waving her balled fists about, prompting her friend to recoil from her, with a yelp of his own.
" I know, I know, I'm sorry…"
The masseuse only shook her head, then said: " You keep saying that… you know, you wouldn't have to, if you just stopped doing the thing, that CAUSES you to stutter out those damn, obviously fake apologies, in the first place!"
" Hey, they're not fake, alright?! I really AM very sorry, as I'm sure I said before. I just… I couldn't help it, okay?"
" Well, that's just the biggest load of bull-crap I've ever heard, Ross! You can't just… ugh, no: you know what? Just… leave, I don't… I can't…" Phoebe started to say, right before she was interrupted by the shrill ringing of her cell.
" Hello… oh Mon, hey, heey! Yeah, yeah sure, I'd love too… Yeah, I can bring Ross too. What?... No, things didn't work out with Rachel. Yeah, I know: it's sad… okay, I'll tell him, see you soon… bye."
" Well, that was your sister. Her, Chandler and Joey want to head up to the coffee-place, one last time and they'd really love it, if we were to join them. As sort of a final goodbye, ya know...God, I'm really going to miss those two… And… oh: Monica told me to tell you she was sorry about how things turned out with Rachel. Seems like it's Geller's apology-day, today, well except for the fact that Monica, ya know… actually means them," the blonde explained cruelly, after having ended the call, hereby causing her friend to release a sigh.
" So anyway, does this mean, that I don't get thrown out of the death-cab?" he subsequently queried, prompting his friend to roll her eyes.
" This means you don't get thrown out of the death-cab, but only for Monica's sake," she muttered in dismay, before starting up the car and continuing their confused feelings-laden journey.