Hello! It's been a while… and I'm hiding shamefully behind my keyboard as I type this. My life just went insane over the past few weeks (months?) and my brain has been completely blocked… things have started to ease up and this little story struck me. I was listening to a lot of John Mayer while I was writing it, so sorry if it's… weird male angsty or something. ;)

I was also thinking about Jily last night, so I might have another chapter for that Drabble soon. Be on the look out! x

"Fuck."

I walked back into my office after leaving drinks with Minerva (bloody hell, I will never get used to that) Horace, and Hagrid to find a giant stack of papers from my third and fifth years on my desk. "I knew I should have staggered these due dates more," I grumbled as I walked over to my desk and plopped down in my chair. I waved my wand to summon my quill and red marking ink. I was looking at another long night.

It had definitely given me pause when McGonagall had first written and asked me to teach. In the few short months since I've started teaching though, I found that I had really come to love it. Except the marking. The marking is total bollocks.

But I did love watching the students learn more and more over the course of the year, hearing them talk about defensive theory and practice in the halls outside of class. Sure, I still got some of the "Bloody hell, Harry Potter is our teacher!" nonsense, but I usually just channeled my inner Dumbledore and interrupted their tittering – "It's Professor Potter, thanks."

I'd also nearly forgotten how much I loved Hogwarts. The crisp air that filled the halls and grounds around early October, the blazing fires that left the whole school smelling faintly of ash… the way the sun looked going down over the lake. I still can't believe I ever managed to leave this place.

I hadn't been back to Hogwarts since the year after the war… when we'd all gone back to celebrate Hermione's graduation. And hers.

I'd still been with her then. Still wrapped up in her rich brown eyes, her winning, daring smile, her long, glowing, fiery red hair. I can still remember the way her warm hand felt in mine, the way her eyes would sparkle when she pressed her hips against me, the way her dazzling, freckled skin looked as she spread herself out in front of me under our favorite beech tree that afternoon. We could have been seen by anyone, but she never cared – "Let them see," she'd whispered, nibbling on my neck and pulling me on top of her, "I need you." Only an idiot wouldn't have obliged.

But, like a lot of things in my life, our relationship fell apart and she disappeared.

I'd been living in Diagon Alley at the time, sharing a flat with Ron and George. George was still pretty raw from the war and we didn't want him to be alone. Ron and I were struggling through Auror training, busting our arses every day to get through it so that we could move out into the field and start capturing those Death Eaters that had managed to escape. Auror training usually took three years, but, as people who had fought in and survived the war, we were approved for an accelerated training course that only lasted a year. It had seemed like such a good idea when we'd started… but Ron and I were exhausted all the time and we rarely saw anyone else other than people from the Auror Office.

It took a toll on our relationship. We'd known that it would, going into it. We thought we'd talked about it enough, thought that we'd prepared for what our life would be like. But once she graduated and was picked up by the Harpies, she was on the road all the time… and suddenly we were never seeing each other. Her times in London never seemed to correspond with my time off, we were both exhausted all the time and, eventually, the owls stopped being sent. Ron and Hermione had worked out an intricate schedule (because of course, Hermione couldn't resist), but she and I couldn't seem to figure it out, and we floundered under the weight of our separation.

One night – 3rd August – she apparated into my room and startled me out of a dead sleep. "Merlin," I'd said, laughing, sitting up, and reaching for my glasses, "you should at least let me know you're coming! I was this close to cursing you." I slid my glasses onto my eyes and saw that her eyes were red-rimmed, that she had tears streaming down her face. I'd stood up instantly, intending to wrap her in my arms… when she placed her hand on my chest. "I can't do this anymore, Harry."

And with those six words, my entire universe fell apart.

I haven't spoken to or about her since that night… but I've thought about her every single second. It's been a year and a half.

I'd written back to McGonagall and made some excuse – I couldn't get time away from the Auror Office or some other bollocks. McGonagall… was McGonagall. She wrote back immediately after I'd sent my owl. I've already spoken to Kingsley, Potter, and he assures me that the Office has since slowed down, and while he isn't happy about losing you, he thinks they can make the sacrifice. The Ministry will also hold your position should you decide that you'd like to return to the Auror Office after you are finished teaching at Hogwarts.

I was out of excuses.

It wasn't that I didn't want to teach. I'd loved running the DA meetings in fifth year, loved watching my mates learn how to fight and become better wizards. I just didn't know if I was ready to go back to the place where so much had changed. To the last place that she and I really made sense. To the place where we had lost so many, too many, of the people we loved.

I'll be there in September, I wrote back, I'll ride the train.

The end of August rolled around and, finally, it was the first of September. I packed my trunk, like I had so many times before, and shut Marauder into his cage. He clicked his beak irritatedly at me and I smiled. He always reminded me of Hedwig when he did that.

I waved my wand and shrunk my trunk before walking over to the corner and grabbing a brown, shabby briefcase from beside my desk. I ran my thumb over the clasp before clicking the case open, and placing the trunk inside, next to the Marauders Map, my invisibility cloak, and the photo album of my parents. I'd added other pictures to that album since Hagrid had given it to me… Sirius, Remus, Tonks, Fred… they all smiled up at me from those pages now. She was also in there… I didn't have the heart to remove her.

The train was a rush of emotions. I'd walked to the back of the train and, without even thinking about it, settled myself in the last carriage against the window. My mind flooded with all the times I'd sat here with Ron and Hermione, the time I'd met Remus in this very carriage… I was sitting in his seat, carrying his case. I sighed and reached up to ruffle my hair before curling up in the corner, as Remus once had, and covered myself with my travelling cloak.

It took me a few days to adjust.

I sobbed alone in my office that first night, thinking back to all the times I'd talked to Remus inside these walls. I thought about Teddy and how horrible I felt that I was able to have such a close relationship with the father he would never get to know. I suppose this is how Remus and Sirius always felt about me.

I hadn't been back inside the castle since that night. I was almost surprised to find that all the walls were still standing, that there weren't bodies lining the floor inside the Great Hall. I'd slipped on my invisibility cloak on my third night back, mostly out of habit because, of course, I was free to go where I wished now, and wandered the halls. This had been one of my absolute favorite things to do while I'd been here at Hogwarts. There is just something…. different, more magical, about the school at night. Magical in the Muggle way, you know? Full of something that you can't quite put your finger on, but you have to stand in awe of anyway.

I'd noticed a plaque on the wall beside the Great Hall earlier that night – it was a remembrance plaque that listed all those who lost their lives here that night – and I decided to walk through and see if there were any others. And there were.

I found plaques for Remus and Tonks in the tower, for Fred in the hall (Flitwick had, most fittingly, also put the patch of swamp he'd saved underneath Fred's plaque). Before long, tears were streaming down my face and I walked through, reading the names of those lost and thinking of the times I'd shared with them during our years here together.

I've now been here for a few months, though, and my emotions have since settled down.

I finished marking the third year essays after what felt like ages and sighed – I waved my wand to stack them up and sent them over to the third year drawer in my cabinet. I closed my eyes and leaned back in my chair, tossing my legs up on the desk and letting myself relax before I started grading the fifth year essays. I asked for significantly more sophisticated essays and I needed to gather myself – some of those third year essays were… difficult to say the least. How hard is it to write about hinkypunks for Merlin's sake? Honestly…

"Harry?"

My eyes snapped open and I froze. Bloody hell…

She was here, standing in my office. Her gorgeous, flowery red hair was shoulder length now and it was sparkling in the light from the candles I had burning in my office. The flames were reflected in her chocolate eyes and the effect made it seem like they were on fire… what…

"What are you doing here?"

Anyone else would have let their head fall with shame, brushed hair out of their eyes uncomfortably – not her. She strode slowly towards my desk, her eyes raking over my face as she walked around and sat on top of my desk. I hadn't thought to move my chair back and we were now so close I could feel the heat radiating from her. I was desperate to touch her skin.

I watched her eyes trail over my body – they left my face and traced their way slowly, devastatingly slowly, over the lines of my chest and down my legs. I know she'd let her eyes linger around my… but I couldn't think about that without risking utter collapse.

I cleared my throat. "To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit tonight?" She laughed and the bright, rich laughter I love filled the air and throttled me – "Don't be so formal, Harry. Just because you're a professor now doesn't mean you need to channel your inner Dumbledore." Her eyes captured mine and she smiled warmly, "I just needed to see you."

I groaned, "We… we broke up over a year ago – " "A year and a half," she interrupted. I nodded, "So why are you here now?" "I…" for the first time since she walked in she looked marginally vulnerable, "I miss you, Harry. I… I still love you."

Her words hung in the air between us. "And?" I asked – I needed her to say more. To tell me what she wants. What she expects of me.

"I want you. I want you back. I…" she closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. When she opened her eyes, they were blazing. "I made a mistake. I thought that breaking up with you would make the most difficult time of my life a little easier. I wouldn't have to worry about missing you when I was travelling everywhere for quidditch games, I wouldn't have to stress about never seeing you. I wouldn't have my mum asking when we were getting married and when we were going to start populating the earth with freckly, black haired babies… I wasn't ready for any of that yet and I think it just freaked me out."

"And I wasn't… I wasn't okay after the war. None of us were. I needed the time apart to come to terms with everything that had happened – that my brother was dead, that my mum and George will never be the same people again. That all of a sudden I was supposed to go out into the world and be an adult when I didn't even know how to deal with the things that were living in my own head. I was living on the edge of collapse every single day, Harry. And I think that breaking up with you forced me to stop clinging to someone that I knew would do his damnedest to protect me. I needed to be vulnerable. But I couldn't make you responsible for dealing with that. So I pushed you away and just buckled down and dealt with it all."

I trailed my eyes over her face and, eventually, my eyes found hers. "And did you?" She raised her eyebrow, "Deal with it." I clarified. She smiled a small smile at me – "Yes. And I know that that doesn't give me the right to just turn up here and demand your forgiveness or ask you to take me back – " "You're right, it doesn't." I stood up and pushed my chair into the wall and began pacing around the room. Her head dropped infinitesimally for a moment before she turned around on my desk with a determined look on her face.

I knew where this was going. We were going to fight.

"So what did you want me to do, Harry?" She jumped off the desk and her fiery red hair was swinging behind her – "Did you want me to just stay with you and keep struggling just to make you bloody happy? I needed TIME, Harry!" She was yelling now as she stormed over and stood in front of me, her hands on her hips.

"And you don't think that I would have liked to know that?!" I raked my fingers through my hair and glared down at her, "That all you needed to say was, 'Harry, I need some time to get myself together, to heal' and I would have let you!? You didn't need to break up with me, leave me completely devastated for months with absolutely no clue as to what happened, what I'd done, or when I would ever see you again!"

"How did I know that you were going to let me go, Harry?! You and I both know that you have something of a hero complex – " "A hero complex?!" I yelled with laughter and she nodded aggressively – "Yes, Harry, yes. A. HERO. COMPLEX. And you can't deny – " "Please! If you had just taken a moment to explain –" "You wouldn't have been happy about it, Harry, and you bloody know it!"

"Of course I wouldn't have been happy! But I asked you, the summer after sixth year, for a break that I knew we needed because I couldn't be the person you needed me to be while I was looking for the Horcruxes. I explained and we ended things and it was fine – " "FINE?! Harry, I was devastated. I cried for weeks – " "And how do you think I felt – " but she shouted over me – "I'M NOT SAYING THAT WHAT I DID WAS ALRIGHT." She stepped forward and grabbed the collar of my robes, "BUT I LOVE YOU HARRY. I LOVE YOU AND I NEED US TO WORK THIS OUT. I AM NOT GOING TO LET YOU PUSH ME AWAY. I AM GOING TO FIGHT FOR YOU, FOR US, UNTIL YOU TELL ME THERE IS NO CHANCE."

And there it was – that flowery smell that I always found so intoxicating, the feel of her fingers just brushing my neck, the way that her eyes were two bright, determined flames, and I did the only thing I could possibly do. I kissed her.

She wound her arms around my neck and pressed her body flush against mine. "Ginny…" I groaned against her mouth and I felt her smile against my lips. I wrapped my arms around her waist and walked us backward until she hit the desk. She broke away with a smirk, "What are you thinking of doing Professor Potter?" I laughed, "Oh, shut up," and pulled her mouth back to mine as I picked her up and placed her on the edge of the desk and stood between her thighs.

"Harry," she pulled away again, panting, and put her hands on my chest. "We have to talk about this." I smirked at her and leaned down to run my nose along the column of her neck – "What's to talk about? You love me… I love you…" She pressed her fingers gently into my chest and I moved back just enough to look into her eyes. "You do?"

I smiled, "Of course I do… Ginny, I never stopped loving you. I was just… crushed. Before you ended things, I…" I closed my eyes to gather myself and took a deep breath before meeting her gaze again. "I was going to ask you to marry me." "Oh, Harry, I – " "It's okay," I said, reaching up and winding my fingers into her hair, "you didn't know… I'd made Ron and Hermione swear that they wouldn't tell you." Ginny gasped, "So THAT'S why Hermione kept sending me all these frantic letters to ask why we'd broken up!" I nodded. "After you ended things, I basically just stopped talking about you. It took Hermione a little time to adjust, so I guess she just channeled her energy towards harassing you." I laughed and Ginny rolled her eyes, "If she isn't harassing someone, she just isn't happy!" "But that's why I was so devastated," I said, and I let my eyes trail over her face while she gathered her thoughts.

"It isn't okay, though, Harry. I… I really hurt you." "We hurt each other. It wasn't easy for you when I left to go on that Horcrux hunt… even less so because I couldn't tell you a damn thing. So… we're even." I smirked and she sighed, "I suppose… but do you trust me now? Do you believe me when I say that I'm done running?" I gazed into her eyes and felt my chest swell with feeling, "Yes. Do you believe me?" She smiled and nodded, "Yes." I smiled and leaned down to kiss her neck again, relishing the taste of her skin and the smell of her hair. She sighed and let herself get lost for just a moment before – "But this is a huge thing to recover from, Harry, we can't just pick up where we left off and expect everything to be okay."

I didn't move away from her skin, but whispered my response into neck, "I know… we'll figure it out. We'll spend days talking about it. But right now," I tightened my fingers on her hips and pressed myself against her, "I need you, Ginny." Her hands found my face and pulled my mouth to hers.

We kissed slowly, deeply – the air around us buzzed with anticipation and need, but I needed to take it slow… I needed to feel and taste her everywhere… and I was in no hurry.

Essays long forgotten, I wrapped my hands under her bum and lifted her so that I could move her upstairs. She gasped as she left the desk and smiled against my mouth as she wrapped her legs around my waist and ground ever so slightly down onto my increasingly painful hard on. I pulled my mouth away from hers to open the door to my living quarters, and she moved her lips to my neck, kissing a tantalizing trail down towards my chest.

I climbed the stairs as quickly as I could without falling and killing us both… I wasn't going to survive Voldemort only to die in a sex-related accident in my first year teaching at Hogwarts. I would forever be the laughing stock of the wizarding world. And I think Ron would die just to kick my arse for killing his sister.

I walked over to the bed and tossed her gently down onto the blankets. She let out her bright, rich laugh as she moved her flaming hair from over her eyes and crawled backwards towards the pillow. I could feel the hunger in my stare as I looked down at her and felt all my blood rush towards my waist as I took in the blush in her cheeks. I sank down onto my hands and knees overtop of her and began slowly crawling my way up, kissing her periodically as I went. Her ankle, her knees, the inside of her thighs… I trailed my finger over the front of her trousers ever so lightly and couldn't keep the smile off my face when her hips jumped towards me. "Patience, Gin…" I said, moving my hand and wrapping my fingers around her hip and I moved to kiss her stomach where her shirt had ridden up.

Her hands flew down to the waistband of her trousers and she started fumbling with the button. I laughed lightly and reached over to still her hands, "Let me." I unbuttoned her trousers and slowly slid them off her legs, kissing her bare skin as I went. I tossed her trousers behind us on the floor and settled myself between her legs and looked up to catch her eyes – "Well, this is certainly a sight I've missed." She laughed breathlessly, "Come up here, Harry, you're killing me." I smiled and leaned forward until my mouth was centimetres from her knickers, "Patience…" I let my warm breath waft over her and couldn't suppress my smile when she groaned and closed her eyes.

I moved my hands up and grasp the waistband of her knickers, and I slid them down her legs before throwing them behind us too. And oh my god how did I ever survive without this? I leaned down and took her into my mouth and Merlin she was just as amazing as I remembered – she groaned and wound her fingers into my hair and held me against her, her voice filling the air around us as I flicked my tongue slowly against her. After a few minutes, or hours… who could really tell, I slid my hands up her sides and slowly pulled her shirt up and over her head. She sat up and smirked at me. "This is hardly fair, Harry." I smiled and stood up and her hands flew out to unbutton my trousers while I let robes fall to the ground behind me. Once I'd kicked my trousers off, she pulled me back down onto the bed and climbed on top of my lap. She reached her hands down between us and slid my shirt up and over my head before wrapping her arms around my neck and kissing me again. Our kisses were a little more frantic now – the absence of clothes seemed to introduce an urgency to the scene that made my desire for her almost painful.

"Where's your…" she pulled away and started looking around on the floor and feeling in the sheets, "Wand…" I finished, feeling (stupidly) around myself for it before falling out of bed and rummaging around in my robes. "Here!" I held it up like I'd just discovered something miraculous and she laughed before falling back onto the pillows and smiling at me. "Well, come on then." I didn't need to be asked twice.

I settled between her legs and leaned down to kiss her again, before pulling away and waving my wand over her abdomen. Satisfied with my work, I tossed my wand onto my bedside cabinet and wrapped my hands into her hair and kissing her again. She, of course, had other plans. She wrapped her legs around my back and pulled me against her and moaned, "Harry, I need you inside me…"

Only an idiot wouldn't have obliged.

Afterwards, I collapsed beside her, wiping the sweat from my forehead before leaning over to kiss her softly before nestling my face into her neck and just breathing her in. We laid quietly for a while, her fingers tracing little designs onto my side before she spoke – "Harry?"

"Mmhm?" I nuzzled my nose into her neck and she chuckled, "Harry, I have something to ask you." "Hmm?" she sighed, "It's important, Harry." I groaned and pulled back so that I could look at her.

Her eyes had that look in them – that determined look that usually suggested some kind of mischief or, "Harry… will you marry me?"

I rolled over onto my arm and propped myself up so I could see her more clearly – "I thought you wanted to talk about this." She blushed, "It's like you said… what's there to talk about? We love each other and… well, we both know we're going to end up here anyway, so I'm just skipping a couple of steps." I grinned, "We're going to end up here anyway?" She nodded, "I meant it when I said that I love you Harry. I'm serious when I say that I'm done running. No matter what, you're stuck with me now. We'll figure it out, no matter what our lives look like. I could travel the world playing quidditch but I'll always want to come home to you. I don't care how little I get to see you with our jobs… I just want to know that, when we are both finally at home, that we're at home together. That we're building a life together even if we aren't physically in the same place." I raised my eyes to hers and grinned – they were as solid and determined as I've ever seen them. "Yes." She blinked, so I clarified, "Yes, I'll marry you."

The grin that lit up her face was absolutely electric. She shrieked and jumped on top of me, planted her mouth on mine… and I knew that we wouldn't get to sleep for at least a few more hours.