-o0o-

"What is Limerence?"

I rubbed my tired eyes and fell back onto the bad. I really did overestimate how sleepy I was. Marie doesn't seem phased by the fact that it's two in the morning. I folded my hands behind my head and racked my brain for what the hell the definition is.

"Um, it's the technical word for a crush," I grunted. I looked up at Marie through my heavy eyes and rolled my eyes when she shook her head at me.

"Ugh, what is it then?"

"Limerence or infatuatedlove is a state of mind which results from a romantic attraction to another person and typically includes obsessive thoughts and fantasies and a desire to form or maintain a relationship with the object of love and have one's feelings reciprocated."

I narrowed my eyes at her and she shrunk under my gaze.

"Sooooo, I was right. A crush. You just described my life. I've been through that so much that I'm starting to think it's a disease," I laughed, clutching my stomach. Marie bit her lip against her own laughter before sobering up. Her face became serious.

"When I get crushes it's bad..," she whispered. Her hair hung over her eyes again, obscuring her face. Tap, tap, tap.

"It's horrible, actually. It's all I can think about."

I sat up and sighed, remembering all of the intense crushes I've had over my short eighteen years of life. More like obsessions. I can still remember every girl and every rejection. After a while, I just stopped trying to pursue a relationship with any of them.

"Well, they always end. I always tell myself that if I get a crush on someone, I'll never try to date them. It never works. They're called crushes for a reason, ya know?"

Marie brushed her hair behind her ear and looked at me sadly before moving off my bed. I looked at her confused.

"Where you going? You can stay with me if you want? I'll sleep on the floor," I called.

Marie shook her head and continued towards the door. She turned back to as she opened the door. "I can't. I'm sorry. Maybe we can do this again? I mean, if you want," she said meekly.

I stood up, adjusting my jumper. I felt slightly lightheaded. "Y-Yeah, of course. I could use a study partner and you're smart as hell," I laughed nervously.

Marie smiled shyly, cheeks blushing as red as roses. It was adorable. Her eyes smiled too. It looked good on her.

"Okay. Um, see you in the mo-I mean, see you later today, Ivy."

I opened my mouth to speak but she was already out the door. I stood there for a moment, staring at the door where she used to be. My hazy mind was still filled with curiousity. I cursed myself for not asking her about herself. Like where her parents are. Or what she likes to do on the weekends besides standing alone at parties.

"You're so stupid, Odair. Ya get a pretty girl in your room and you hush about yourself."

I stripped my clothes off and slipped under my covers. I tossed and turned, thinking about Marie. The strange girl who I should have seen a million times. I groaned, remembering that she still had on my favorite flannel. I wasn't annoyed for long when I remembered how good it looked on her.

My heart stuttered in my chest. I froze, eyes as wide as saucers. Tap, tap, tap. Nope, not happening right now.

"Just go to sleep, Ivy. You're drunk."

-o0o-

I strode into the classroom quickly, rolling my eyes as Zeke's laughter echoed through the door. Mrs. Teller gave me a little disappointed look as I made my way to my seat. I'm not always late and I think she knows it wasn't my fault.

"Sorry, Mrs. T. I had a sleepless night," I called, reclining into my chair. I curled my lip when people chuckled under their breath. It wasn't funny.

"Don't let it happen again, Ivy. I would hate to tell Coach Atkins," she sang, gathering the tests in her hands. I pinched the bridge of my nose and saluted. The sound of laughter made me scowl again.

"Now, I hope you all have been studying for this test. After all, it is a midterm. That means if you fail...50% off of your grade."

A chorus of groans sounded around the room and I snickered. I always loved psychology. With all the shit I've had to go through with my brain, it's only right that I become a therapist or something. Maybe I can help other people with their OCD or just lend an ear to those in need.

"Are you nervous?"

I jumped slightly before getting ahold of myself. My heart was beating out of my chest. I turned around and sighed quietly. Of course it was Marie. In all of her shy glory. My eyes flicked over her outfit and I noticed she was wearing all black. Just like at the party. Except for my green flannel, tied around her waiste.

"Nah. I'm not as much of a jock as I look. Are you?"

Marie flicked her eyes passed me jerkily and I turned back around in my seat. Mrs. Teller was passing the tests back already. I grabbed two from the guy in front of me and passed one back to Marie. She thanked me quietly.

I felt weird with her behind. I wanted her in sight. But if I asked she would think I wanted to cheat off of her. I clenched my jaw and tapped my knee discreetly. I turned around and blinked. She was already looking at me.

"Uh, do you wanna sit next to me? You don't have to...but you can," I said, trying to sound casual. Marie covered smile but I could see her cheeks pulling back. It was adorable, her shyness.

She nodded and waited for Mrs. Teller to turn around. She climbed down to my row clumsily and I helped her carefully. I held in my laughter when Marie fell into the seat. Thank Jesus, she didn't make a racket.

"You have half an hour to complete this test. I will be timing you and I will be watching for cheating. If I catch you, I'm giving you a zero and I know some people in here who will not survive another zero. The test starts...now."

My leg shook rapidly as I began reading the questions. It wasn't as hard as I thought it was. I wrote my answers neatly on the page, keeping time as I breezed through. My eyes flicked over to Marie discreetly and I froze.

Her full bottom lip was captured in between in her teeth. Her legs crossed beneath the pullout desk. Those blue eyes flickered over her paper carefully, taking in everything. She looked serene. In the middle of a test, no less. My heart pumped faster in my chest and that feeling came back. That feeling that I thought I wouldn't feel again.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

Not happening. Nope. It's all in my head.

I ripped my eyes away from her and dove back into my test. Everything in my mind was turned around and messed up. Thoughts flew through my mind. All of them had nothing to do with the test at all. My fingers dig into my thigh and I gritted my teeth.

I grasped the last thread of my rational mind and finished the test just as the alarm sounded through the room. I kept my eyes downcast and took calming breaths, tapping my fingertips against my thumb one by one. I sighed in relief as the thoughts calmed down.

Easier than I thought. I got this.

"Pass your tests to the end of your rows, please. The last person on the row will pass them up. Johnathan, I see you! Pass them down now," Mrs. Teller called.

I watched Marie grab the papers with new eyes. I saw the freckles on her cheeks. The sharp angles of her face. I almost didn't notice her handing me the papers. I gathered myself quickly and grabbed them. Electricity shot up my arm as our fingers brushed against each other.

"Sorry," she muttered, pulling her hand away.

My tongue couldn't find the strength to speak. Instead, I handed the papers up and cursed myself silently. My heart stuttered in my chest and I knew what I had to do. You've been through this. You're Ivy fucking Odair. Rip it off like a bandaid.

"Marie. You're a really nice girl." Nice, Odair.

She looked at me oddly, face scrunching up in confusion. I turned away, watching everyone gather their things to leave. My chest became tight and I bit my lip hard.

"What's wrong?"

"We can't be friends," I said quickly, standing up. I shrugged my bag over my shoulder and made my way towards the steps.

"W-Wait, why? What did I do," she said brokenly. I tensed as her hand wrapped around my bicep.

"Look, it's not you. It's me. I have a lot going on right now and I don't want to hurt your feelings," I sighed. I turned away as her eyes began to water. I don't understand why she is taking this so hard. We just met.

I ripped my arm from her grasp and walked away as quickly as possible. The sniffles reached my ears anyway. I practically ran to my locker. I hung my head and cursed quietly.

"Get it together, kid. It's just a little crush."