Chapter 4 - Fifth Year, September 1975

Sirius was sat in the window. He had often seen Remus there, curled up with a book and a pack of chocolate, but the other three Marauders had always teased Remus for it. James particularly, saying that out of all the un-Werewolf-like behaviours Remus exhibited, this just took the biscuit and was he quite sure that he was a Werewolf?

James and Peter were in detention and Remus had gone to the Hospital Wing to prepare for his transformation. Sirius was poring over the last day in his mind, trying to think of what to tell Remus about the attack.

Lucius and Narcissa had only begun going out in the last summer, so Lucius hadn't been around before that to care about Sirius' lack of Pure-blood pride. Sirius supposed he shouldn't entirely be surprised about the attack after his detention. It showed Lucius was settling into the Black family ways; Bellatrix hexed him when he so much as mentioned Gryffindor at home.

On the bright side, Lucius Malfoy was a year older than Narcissa, which meant he'd be leaving in less than a year. Narcissa was still civil when she was by herself, so hopefully that and her NEWTs would keep her from bothering Sirius. As for when he got home, hopefully his OWLs would be remarkable enough to keep his parents from inflicting too much damage on him until the time came to pack up and migrate to James' for the rest of the summer.

"Remus? One of the third years managed to get a toothbrush stuck in his- oh. Black." Lily's lip curled slightly. "I'm used to Remus sitting there."

"Please do continue that sentence Evans, I'd just love to know what went where."

Lily rolled her eyes, but answered, "Ear. I'm only telling you so you don't go around spreading misinformation."

"No," said Sirius, thinking of what he was going to tell Remus. "I wouldn't want to do that."

Lily blinked quickly. She was a smart witch and Sirius was worried she'd pick up on his melancholy feelings, so he quickly warded her off.

"If you've finally decided to come to James' bed, he's got detention and he'll be awful upset that he missed you. There's always me though."

Lily immediately flamed up. "How dare you Black! Here I was thinking you were just awful together, but you're just as vile and crude!"

"Yeah well, that's Blacks for you," Sirius snapped, suddenly unable to take it. He looked up at Lily's shocked face and bolted out of the dorm before any concern could show up on it.

-()-

Sirius was headed downstairs for the Potions classroom, thinking to meet James and Peter from their detention. He had only got down one floor when he came across Snape.

"So Black, all alone tonight? No Lupin? Of course not, silly me, he's looking after his sick mother at home. So wouldn't you say it's odd that I saw him walking around the grounds with Pomfrey?"

"Well no Lupin, however I did have the company of the lovely Lily Evans in my boudoir earlier."

"She wouldn't!" Snape snapped, his eyes widening in anger. He then seemed to calm down, and with a smile, he replied, "She wouldn't. Lily hates you and Potter. But someone was in mine. He's got the same last name as you, but he manages not to drag it through the mud like you. In fact, he came to my dorm to tell me about an offer he'd been thinking about." Snape met Sirius' eyes. "I'll give you three guesses."

Sirius froze.

"Yes, Regulus came for a little bit of advice. About the Death Eaters."

"He'd never join!" Sirius burst out, "He's only child and he knows better."

"And how does he take advice like that from a blood traitor like you?" At Snape's words, Sirius fumed. "But I, unlike you happen to be in Slytherin. I may have certain influences with your brother. Perhaps if you satisfy my curiosity about Remus, I could steer him away, along other Pure-blood paths. But if you don't..."

Sirius had been getting more and more wound up, and the idea of betraying Remus made him lose it. He cast a stinging hex at Snape.

Snape hissed and his hand immediately held where the hex had hit him. "Worthless Griffindor. Crucio!"

Sirius was caught completely off guard. It didn't last long; Sirius could only be grateful that Snape didn't have the years of practice that his parents boasted.

"Ever had that done to you at home Black? Maybe took a curse meant for little Regulus?"

Sirius nodded. "They know I'll take it for him; they'd never actually get him with it." Sirius' mouth went slack. He couldn't believe it; he hadn't even told James about the Cruciatus at home and here he was telling Snape. Why was he answering the greasy git's questions?

"I knew already, he told me. Because we're close Sirius, because we talk and share things. Like brothers. Oh," Snape practically sang, "You're wondering why you answered my question. They say that multiple Cruciatus curses slowly send you mad. It starts as an inhibitor, kind of like Veritiserum. Very useful for torture, stops anything silly like Gryffindor loyalty and bravery getting in the way. Then depression. Then," Snape grabbed Sirius' chin, "You just become a shell. But on the bright side, at least the depression goes away."

Sirius felt himself coming back to himself the longer Snape talked.

"Crucio!" Sirius fell down, and although the duration of the curse was short, he felt like he had left his body, and this was happening to someone else in another place and another time.

"You want to know where Remus goes? I'll tell you," Sirius observed Snape's look of disbelief and pulled himself up, swaying and feeling an internal voice screaming at him. "It's under the Whomping Willow-"

"Crucio!"

Sirius screamed this time.

"Get up. Mobilicorpus!" Snape snarled. "Think you're clever Black? Trying to send me to get beaten up by a tree?" Snape was livid, and the spell holding Sirius up started to shake unpleasantly. "I see you really don't care about Regulus anymore. Which is such a shame, the way he was crying about his dearest big brother taking so many Cruciatus curses for him over the years. Maybe I'll put the idea in his head that the Dark Lord would never allow that kind of thing for a favoured Death Eater's brother."

"I do care, I wasn't lying," Sirius choked out, feeling sweat start to build and his head spinning. "There's a way to stop the branches, just- just get a stick or something..." Sirius felt faint and black spots were tainting his vision. "Poke the knot..."

Snape's face lit up cruelly, and Sirius felt the Crucio again before he fell unconscious.

-()-

James felt the mirror in his pocket heat up as he and Peter left detention. "Sirius mate, you don't look too well. Actually, you're probably still better looking than Remus right now to be fair."

"Never mind- Snape - the Willow- James you have to go!"

"What?"
"GO TO THE WILLOW, Snape's on his way there."

-()-

It was all Sirius could do to drag himself up to the dorm; otherwise he would have gone to help James. He lay down on his bed and wished he had the energy to punch something; he couldn't believe he'd told Snape, couldn't believe that he'd have the audacity to cast an Unforgiveable.

The dormitory room opened to James and Peter.

Sirius sat up quickly on the bed, feeling the after-effects of the Cruciatus. "What happened?"

"What did you do Sirius?" James looked appalled, his hair was more messed up than usual and there were twigs in it. No blood on him though.

"I told Snape about the trick to the Willow, he wanted to know where Remus went, but-"

"You bastard," James spat, looking anywhere but Sirius.

"I know," Sirius said softly. Remus' secret was something the boy was terrified about people learning. Sirius remembered when they had first found out and, like complete gits, decided to have some fun with it instead of saying they outright knew and didn't care. After comments at the breakfast table about the meat being too well done for Remus, and in Potions about Remus' 'furry little problem', and in the hallway in commiseration to Evans about That Time Of The Month and how Remus' was quite bad too but you didn't hear him going on about it thank you very much, the four boys retired for the night.

But at one remark in the dorms ('I know I'm shirtless, but control your animal instincts man!") Remus shocked the other three by bursting out crying. They had had to ply him with the supply of chocolate they had bought as a surprise for the next week's full moon to get him to stop crying, however once they explained what it was for, his crying got worse. Bewildered, the three of them waited for Remus to stop crying. ('It's like I'm still your friend, you buying me chocolate!') ('Of course, we're still your friends Remus, your furry little problem hasn't made a difference so far has it?') They had stayed up all night convincing Remus they really did still want him as a friend. He then explained that his heart couldn't take another day like that, where he was scared everyone had found out, so they all solemnly promised to keep Remus' secret.

A charged pause followed Sirius' reply, so he turned to Peter. "Tell me what happened," Sirius begged. "Is Remus okay?"

Peter looked terrified. "James pulled him back, but Snape saw. I got Dumbledore and- and they're both okay. And Remus."

"No one died." Sirius closed his eyes, thankful for the moment.

"Yeah, no one died. You didn't almost make Remus a murderer; almost have him sent to Azkaban." James met Sirius' eyes and the anger in them seemed to multiply. "You should be in Slytherin for that."

James stormed into the bathroom leaving Sirius to collapse back onto the bed. He would explain to James later, maybe. He never had got around to telling James that his parents' hatred for him was more active violence than passive neglect, and he didn't think he was up to relaying the degenerative effect of multiple Cruciatus curses right now. Especially since Sirius' heart just about broke with that last comment.

Peter looked like he was going to say something several times, then stopped. "You've got to go see Dumbledore. I'm supposed to escort you and get a teacher if you don't come."

-()-

On the walk to Dumbledore's office, there was a silence between them. Sirius used the walk to brood about James; he'd thought he would beg for an explanation and know that Sirius would never do this. But his best friend hadn't even tried.

After mumbling 'lemon drops' at the gargoyles, Peter mumbled at Sirius and left.

Dumbledore was sat at his desk when Sirius entered. Thankfully, he was by himself.

"Severus tells me this was a prank. But why Sirius?" Dumbledore didn't bother with formalities.

"It was just to scare him." Sirius muttered.

"Even I can't believe that." Sirius was panicking; he knew Dumbledore wouldn't stop until he got something resembling the truth.

Sirius realised too late that the effects of the Cruciatus curse were still lingering. He tried to fight it, but failed. "Snape was taunting me and suggesting Regulus was under his influence and that if I said where Remus went, he'd lure Regulus away from Death Eater influence." He only just kept the bit about Snape casting Cruciatus from Dumbledore.

"This war." Sirius looked up in shock at the despair in Dumbledore's voice.

A flapping cloak caught Sirius' eye. Dumbledore saw, and said, "I have asked Phineas not to relay any details of this to Grimmauld place. He will not reveal Mr Lupin's condition. However, whether or not he will pass on the fact that you are in the Headmaster's office being reprimanded is another matter."

"What about Snape revealing it?"

"He has taken an Unbreakable Vow as Mr Potter had the forewarning to send Mr Pettigrew to me straight away."

"But how did you phrase it?" Sirius burst out. "Because if you missed anything, if you didn't say the right things then Remus will-"

"I assure you-"

"But you don't know Snape! What he's capable of! What if he goes off to Voldemort, he doesn't give a shit about school he just wants-"

"Enough." Sirius stopped immediately. "Mr Black, I believe you should realise you are capable of murder after tonight." Sirius felt stricken that the headmaster would think that was what he wanted for Snape, and that he'd use one of his closest friends as a means to achieve it. "As for the vow, I think being Headmaster of Hogwarts and founder of the Order of the Phoenix lends me capability to perform the spell to ensure its longevity. It will last for at least fifteen years. The Vows have to have a specific time period and should I need to, I will make another one in time."

"I didn't- I didn't mean murder. Sir, I didn't! I wouldn't do that to Remus... I don't know what the Order of the Phoenix is."

Dumbledore stared hard at Sirius for a moment, and then glanced behind him to ensure the absence of Phineas Nigellus. "The Order of the Phoenix is for wizards that are of age who wish to fight against Voldemort. It is a secret operation." Sirius nodded, unsure of why he was being told about something like this when his family were one of the darkest in the school as well as staunch Voldemort supporters.

There was a silence in the office, during which Dumbledore stared at Sirius. He nodded, and then said, "Mr Black, after seeing Mr Potter's reaction I don't think I can punish you anymore than your friends will. I don't want to either, considering Mr Lupin's condition could come out. However I will be writing to your parents." Sirius twitched, and Dumbledore observed this too. "Please return to your common room."

Sirius almost wished he were going home when he thought of earlier in the dorm. "Sir," he asked Dumbledore, "Do you think I should have been in Slytherin? All of my family were, and it's not like that Gryffindor loyalty is working out."

Dumbledore didn't quite smile, but his eyes lightened. "Mr Black, rest assured I wouldn't have told just anyone about the Order. Now, I think you will need to get back before curfew. Goodnight."

"Night Professor." Sirius muttered. He'd been hoping for more, for longer, but he'd just have to hide in a secret corridor until he was certain that the other two would be asleep. He didn't even want to think about the next time he'd see Remus after this betrayal.

Thank you for reading! ...I'm shallow and I would love some reviews. And yes, I didn't really punish Sirius because he really is having awful trouble meeting Slytherins in corridors isn't he? Anyway, this chapter was kind of rushed due to me trying to finish before I'm stuck at work again, so feedback would be a nice present to come home to!