Disclaimer: I do not own Rizzoli and Isles or make any money from this.
Happy reading...
If we could look into each others hearts and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care - Marvin J Ashton
Jane wasn't sure what had come over her. This sudden burst of confidence was so novel to her she was most certainly just as astonished as the next person. Her Saturday had come and gone just as quickly as it had started. She was starting to realise that she got incredibly worn out late in the evening, and had started something of a nap pattern around that time. Just like the previous day, Jane awoke late at night – the clock on the wall read 22:36. She let out an exasperated breath and reached for her mobile phone –
Do u sometimes feel like life is just passing u by – J. The text was sent out to Maura. There was definitely something about that blonde. Jane felt an irresistible pull; she was completely powerless.
Maura had had a somewhat event-less day. After her shopping she went back home and did a bit of tidying up. She spent a couple of hours doing some conference calling with various associates of the Isles Foundation. After the mandatory paperwork was completed, signed off, and scanned to the appropriate people Maura sat down to watch the evening news. Weekends were always the loneliest she found. For some reason everything seemed still and all that could be heard was silence.
Jane's message came in while she was lying in bed reading her medical journal with a cup of tea. She briefly contemplated whether to be completely honest with Jane or change the subject altogether. Yes I do sometimes feel like life is just passing me by – M. If they were going to talk a lot more in the future, honesty and openness was obviously the best option.
I spent the whole day in this stupid hospital room trying to watch TV or read a book but everything just keeps pissing me off. I miss being outside, I miss working, or taking a nice bath, or just going into the freaking supermarket. This all sucks to hell – J.
Maura was taken aback by Jane's sudden outburst. From the first message Maura had imagined that Jane was feeling bored or sad. But after the second text she could tell the officer was downright furious. Furious over her situation, and perhaps furious at herself. Maura really didn't know what to do.
I did something today that I'm not sure how to fix. Well it sort of seems irreversible in a way. It's been bothering me for hours now and I don't know what to do – M.
And now it was Jane's turn to be surprised. She thought Maura was going to be like everyone else and start telling her that life was like that and that tragic things happen and that she should be grateful to still be alive. A lot of people came off as slightly patronising, and for this reason Jane had found it almost impossible to really speak to anyone about how she was feeling.
What did you do? Hope its not a crime or anything, because I'd have to arrest you – J
Maura laughed. At least Jane had allowed the distraction. There had been several days in the past when Maura had longed for a person in her life that could just distract her on days when she was feeling purposeless.
No Jane, I regret to inform you that I haven't committed an offence. Sorry for taking the fun away from you *insert smiley face*. I was going through my recruitment files. I need to hire a new assistant. We strive for equality and during recruitment we normally just look at the candidate's resume without looking at their pictures. But for some reason today I went through the eleven files I had today looking at each candidates photograph. I feel awful because I'm already biased and I can't unseen everyone's face and start all over again – M
Jane had to blink twice at the long message. And after reading it she realised she couldn't quite understand. Making herself more comfortable in bed, she sent Maura her email address – its easier to text longer if I use my tablet. That's if you don't mind, she finished off writing.
Maura then sent her email to Jane, I don't mind at all – M
Re: cont. from texting
So what are you recruiting for? I didn't think that was part of your job description as a Pathologist.
Jane
Maura smiled after opening her email. In her haste to distract Jane she had completely forgotten that Jane had no idea about her life.
Re: The story of Maura Isles
Its very refreshing I must say, meeting somebody who knows absolutely nothing about it. In fact, I cant ever remember that happening. Usually when I meet new people they're from work, and they always know somebody I know and I imagine they have their preconceptions about me and my life. The same applies to the people I meet through the Isles Foundations, they mostly know about my family background and so forth. When I texted you it slipped my conscience that you don't know me at all really.
Well, you know I'm 31 and I'm a Pathologist at Massachusetts General Hospital. I live in Beacon Hill, by myself. Never been married, no children. I'm an only child. My parents have a foundation, The Isles Foundation, where I work as well. My assistant was working with me on a new project that my mother just started. It's a small art academy for beginning artists in New York. Now my assistant she has to relocate down south to help care for her ailing mother and I need somebody to take over. If I lived in New York I could have managed to handle it but I can't.
So as I was saying before, I feel very biased in my selection process and I don't know what to do.
Maura
Jane read the email intently, feeling fascinated by the second as she soaked in all this information about the blonde. Looking at Maura, Jane wouldn't have thought she was the kind of person she was. She looked too pretty to be doing anything useful other than spending the day at the spa getting pampered. But as Jane learned more and more, she realised that it was true – never judge a book by its cover.
Re: The story of Maura Isles
Something tells me I've been cheated. I can bet my life that the story of Maura Isles is at least two pages long, and here I got two paragraphs. But its ok anyway, if you'd told me everything, then you might have had to kill me.
Don't beat yourself up too much about getting a new assistant. Even if you peeped at their photos, its fine. I'm sure they are all qualified anyway. Or you can just make it easy by choosing the hottest guy *insert winking smiley face*
Jane
Maura laughed again, chewing on her bottom lip before finding the words to reply.
Re: The story of Maura Isles
If I told you everything then I'd risk the chance of never hearing from you again. What else would I have to say to you that you wouldn't already know? You see!
As for my situation, I suppose I'll just go with my intuition. Or perhaps choose the hottest girl *insert winking smiley face*
Maura
Jane literally gasped. Did Maura just say girl? Surely that couldn't mean shes gay. Perhaps that was her trying to be funny and oppose Jane since she had said guy. But it also could be the blondes way of saying she was into women.
''What does it even matter,'' Jane said to herself. ''It wouldn't mean anything in terms of our budding relationship anyway, she thought. ''Should I just ask her?'' Jane thought further.
The brunette wasn't sure if it would be intrusive. Or if it even mattered. Maybe Maura would find it weird. Or she wouldn't be comfortable discussing her sexuality. What did it even matter anyway?
Jane was now getting nervous because the longer she took to reply the more it would seem to Maura that Jane was mulling over a lot of details.
Re: The story of Jane Rizzoli
I'm 30 as you know. I have two younger brothers. Frankie, 28 and Tommy, 26. Tommy is in prison. He got 5 years without parole. He will be out in 2 years- hopefully. My mother drives me crazy. My dad's a plumber. I'm recently single, and live with my parents. How pathetic is that? Casey, my ex, is in the army and he went back to Afghanistan. Obviously everything else was more important than me.
Jane
Jane knew if she went on she was going to say the wrong thing. The subject of Casey was a sensitive one that Jane didn't want to get into at that particular moment.
Re: The story of Jane Rizzoli
I have been cheated even more Jane. One paragraph is hardly enough for you to even tell me about your past 5 hours, let alone your life. But I'll take it for now, since you said we'll be in touch from now on. If you don't mind me saying Jane, being single and living with your parents doesn't make you pathetic. I don't know Casey, but if anyone was pathetic I would say it was him. If he found it worthwhile to leave you and go back to Afghanistan, shame on him. I'm sure he doesn't identify who you are. And him leaving now paves the way for you to meet a better suitor yourself. I'm sorry though, that you have to go through this without your partner at your side. I imagine it would have been easier on you if you were discharged to go back to your own house and to have someone you love tending to your every need. It doesn't help that this incident has happened too soon after your break up as well. I do apologize. I'm no comparison to your beloved Casey, but if you need anything that I can help with, please don't hesitate to tell me.
Maura
Whilst reading the email, Jane wondered if Maura had realised that her last sentence seemed a tad suggestive.
Re: The story of Jane Rizzoli
Thanks for being very kind to me. I guess with a little bit more time I'll be completely over the whole Casey thing. Its kinda hard to get it out of my system now because everything reminds me of him leaving. Like the fact that I'll have to start looking for a place, and getting new stuff blah blah blah. It doesn't help that these past few weeks I've been in hospital, and only God knows how I'll feel with time you know. I'm a bit scared, but if you tell anyone I will deny I ever said it.
Jane
Maura had a feeling that Jane was a proud woman and would never want to be viewed as weak.
Re:
Everything takes time as they all say, but I must admit that there are some things that can't be overcome even with all the time in world. I sincerely hope that this won't be the case with you.
Unfortunately I don't know know anyone personally who's ever had the same health situation as you have, what I can only offer is most probably the same thing your doctor will tell you when you are discharged and at your future visits. I imagine the worst part will be dealing with it emotionally. Because you may find that you won't be able to be quite as physical as you were before. And I suppose you are going to feel very self conscious of the fact that you have a device implanted inside of you. And I don't think it will help that you will be able to see the bump and the scar. You will have to deal with the discomfort of having it at first, and perhaps the bit of weight it adds. It will also be challenging I'm sure, trying to be very aware of other electrical devices around you that might interfere with the pacemaker. And I certainly cant imagine you will enjoy the regular doctor appointments. There will also be smaller issues in between all the major issues, like having to wear a different kind of bra for better comfort, or no bra at all if you can manage. I'm sure you are scared Jane. And its normal. Because you are going to be wondering, on many occasions, whether its safe to be alone because you might have another cardiac arrest. Its hard Jane. And I'm really sorry that you have to go through this. Your family and friends will probably be just as worried as you are.
I'm sorry that I don't have anything grand and wonderful to say to alleviate your concerns. What I know for sure, and can guarantee is that I will do whatever I can to help whenever and if ever you ask. Even if you don't ask, but if can still allow me to help, I will.
Maura
Jane felt teary. She didn't even know Maura but the blonde was being so incredibly nice to her. She appreciated the fact that Maura didn't bother sugar coating things and constantly telling her that she would be fine. Maura was there to give her facts, and to assure her that she would help – which is all Jane could ever ask for.
Choked up with emotion and unable to say anything else, Jane just said Good night to the blonde. After putting her tablet away and starring blankly at the ceiling she finally decided to have a shower. In the small shower room, Jane removed the nighty she had on and looked at her scar for the first time. She hadn't wanted to see it for days, fearing the worst. But after Maura's mention of it, she decided to see what things were like. The stitches were due to be removed Monday, when they had said they would confirm Jane's Tuesday discharge.
Near her collarbone, on the left side of her chest, was a red vertical line stitched up. It appeared to be healing well and was much smaller than she had imagined it would be. Jane cried, really really cried. She had been due for a good cry, and she now finally let it all out. It seemed like such a small thing she was going through, but it was in essence a life changing situation. Everything kept swimming around her head as she clutched onto the sink crying – her failed relationship, he career, her health, the stress she was unintentionally putting her loved ones through. There are moments when she felt like everything would be alright, but moments like the one she was having now were not one of them. At this point in time she just felt like she couldn't do it at all.
…
Jane's abrupt good-bye made Maura feel a little uneasy. The pathologist was sure being honest was a good idea, but was now doubting herself since Jane's departure. Had she made Jane's fears worsen, or was is her mild inference to her sexuality? She didn't know, and now she wished she could take it all back.
AN: Next chapter tomorrow night or Tuesday morning. Thanks for reading.