Warning: Non-lemon sexual fantasy ahead.

jailbreak: v. – 1. An unlocking mechanism for an iphone or itouch in order to achieve greater versatility and free access to both paid and unpaid apps. Illegal for mortals, required knowledge for demons. ~ (ODD – XL)

3. Jailbreak

Yugi was getting very anxious and worried. The police had taken him and Mai into the waiting room and sat them down, asking them to be patient while they dealt with those who came before them. Maybe if the room didn't have temporary holding cells Yugi would have felt more at ease. Soon after taking his seat, he had to watch as the burly cop hauled an unconscious and heavily restrained Yami towards one of the cells, throw him inside like a sack of Heaven flour and slam the door. For a moment, every single one of the staff members stopped what they were doing and gawked at the creature behind the cotton bars. In a Heaven heartbeat, there was a lot of extra space between cell #4B and the staff.

Yugi fidgeted with his fingers and stole another glance at Yami's cell. The muzzle covered the demon's face but he had no doubt Yami was scared. As expected, Yami was highly disoriented upon waking and struggled a bit within his confines, drawing the attention of those in the room. Yugi had been afraid the burly cop would do something drastic but, to his surprise, the cop just pointed to the sign nailed to the inside of the cell and went back to work. The demon's demeanor instantly changed when he read it and he shuffled away from the cotton bars. The same message was posted inside all the other cells.

Yugi averted his eyes from Yami and turned to the far wall where a scary-looking angel with tiny wings grinned perversely at him. Yugi wasn't worried since the angel was handcuffed to the chair but the fact that he seemed so amused didn't really help the situation.

The sight of Yugi's own hands became the only escape from the leery angel, but they only stayed interesting for so long and he eventually found himself checking up on Yami again. The demon had somehow managed to right himself in a sitting position with both bound ankles tucked under his bottom and both bound wrists behind his back. His body was still as a statue and he seemed to be staring at nothing. Yugi tried to grab his attention, but Yami seemed really, really zoned out.

The guilt weighed heavily on Yugi's winged shoulders. The entire thing was his fault. Had he not tried to sneak into Hell in his less-than-mentally-sound state, this never would have happened. It had been… nice though. At the same time he hoped the demon wasn't traumatized by the event.

Wait.

Did this make them a Mated Pair? Well that would make things very different. And very complicated. But he found himself growing fonder of the idea the longer he thought about it.

Normally, in order to establish such a sacred and lasting bond, both parties would have had to court one another for a minimum of fifty Heaven years. They would then register for this status at Heaven's Ultimately Grand-municipality (H.U.G.) and go through a screening process that took about one Heaven year. Once their Pending status was approved, they would court for another eighty Heaven years before they were allowed to mate. The mating process would take place in one of the few Heaven titanium-encased, heavily guarded, soundproof facilities in the quickest way possible. Once that happened, they were expected to get Heaven married and serve angel's food cake to all their dinner guests.

It all happened so fast. And, since nearly every part of that process had been violated, Yugi didn't even consider the possibility until now (and with a demon no less!). Did that mean they were going to get married? Perhaps marriage will be the solution to all of their problems. He was going to get married! MARRIED! The thought suddenly made him feel very warm inside. He hoped his peers would understand. After all, getting married meant you were in love and there was nothing reprehensible about love. Once they found out that the demon was capable of love (since he was capable of sex), they would accept him. Yugi couldn't wait to tell Yami this and make wedding arrangements. He was sure the demon would be just as happy at him, if not, happier.

Yugi had yet to figure out what Yami was doing in Heaven in the first place. Maybe he got lost on his way to the restroom and somehow stumbled into their realm. And maybe he was so disoriented that, when he tried to gather his bearings, he tripped on something and the wind carried him so far that he landed on Yugi. AND, in his disoriented state, he probably ended up uttering those rather unseemly comments when, instead, he'd meant to ask for directions home. Indeed, Yami was just a victim of circumstance.

Depression swiftly swept away, Yugi burned with a new resolve. No matter what, he was going to free Yami. His other half clearly suffered a great deal already and it would break his Heaven heart to see him suffer any more.

This was kind of erotic. At first that couldn't be further from the truth since Yami was there against his will but now, things were different. His surroundings reminded him of the place they took Duke for his six hundred sixty sixth birthday and, from whatever memory he had left after the booze and electroshock torture, everyone had a great time. Of course, there were small differences. The S&M room at Hickey's was darker and the owners liked to tease their guests by displaying their torture devices where the customers could see them. The cell bars weren't made of compressed cotton and the sign in the room was more straightforward than: 'Greetings! You are currently being detained in a temporary prison cell. The bars before you have fifty thousand volts coursing through them so we would advise that you refrain from touching them. We hope your restraints are not too uncomfortable and if they are, too bad. Unfortunately, complaints will not be heard by any staff members. Have a nice day.'

He twisted his wrists to test the Heaven cuffs (which were made of white faux fur) and marvelled at how comfortable they were. The ankle bonds were the same way and the mouth piece in the muzzle tasted like Jolly Ranchers.

He tried to twist his head but found a very stiff, furry, neck brace held it in place. Very impressive. And super comfortable! Maybe he didn't give Heaven enough credit in this department. He mentally stored away this information for the suggestion box at Hickey's.

Despite the limitations, he could still see a lot. And the sight of The Hypervirgin squirming in his seat and looking bashful made his thoughts drift elsewhere. He grinned as much as he could grin with the mouthpiece in him as the fantasy crept in.

Knowing he couldn't go anywhere, The Hypervirgin would start off by teasing him and getting him all worked up. He'd then slide off the chair and snatch the ring of keys off the cop's desk. He'd walk towards Yami slowly, exaggerating each step so they'd make his perfectly round butt sway back and forth and that tunic would easily be caught between those delicious thighs.

He'd stop in front of Yami's cell and twirl those keys innocently. That key would then turn the lock, slowly, sensually, as sensually as a key in a lock could be. The angel would slide the door open just enough for him to squeeze in and slam it behind him. He would turn to face Yami before throwing the keys over his shoulder, and outside the prison bars. They would be trapped together, at the mercy of each other's whims and desires.

He'd then lean back and bring a finger to those lips in a shushing motion before reaching into the secret compartment of his tunic and producing a tiny key. Said key would unbind the device attached to Yami's head. It would then be slipped into Yami's mouth, the owner of those fingers tittering at his own mischief.

The angel would moan and trace his jaw line with the tip of his tongue, "What is it that you are in need of, demon Yami?"

"I need you."

"Please clarify for there are many needs, demon Yami."

"I need you to releaseteething help me."

"There too, are many ways one can provide assistance, demon Yami."

Then the angel would silence his pleas with a kiss. He'd start off gently but quickly gain power and they'd enter into an oral battle.

"Cupid," He'd breathe as his body would draw close to its limits, "I need this."

"As do I, demon Yami." The angel would say, "However, the one to have access to my flesh would need to prove himself above all others." And Cupid would tangle his fingers in Yami's hair as he spoke the next words, "Can you prove yourself to be that one, demon Yami?"

Just when the angel would reach his breaking point, he'd pull himself out of the intoxication and teasingly reprimand Yami for being naughty. Naughty, that's the word he'd use. Cupid would then grab that key and do other seductive things with it. Things so seductive he would barely have the words to describe them.

Then, the moment Cupid lets down his guard, the demon would prove his worth by slamming him to the floor with his hot and bound body and give him the biggest, reddest hickey of his life. His lips would travel from that spot, outsourcing to places unexplored until they reached the throbbing pair of attention-deprived angel lips.

"You know what to do, Cupid." He'd say in the huskiest, sex-filled voice he could muster and wait for the angel to shake under that timber before adding, "Now it smutlackingly fast."

Cupid would rip the bindings from him like a ravenous beast devouring his prey, the handcuffs being the last to go. And, the instant those cuffs were gone, he'd throw his arms around the angel and knock him to the ground once more, attacking that hickey with vigour.

Yami would flip him over and get that obscenely thin garment off his body. The first thing he wanted to see would be that legendary backend. Earth knows Cupid's French fry wasn't all that impressive but the backend, oh the backend had been better than the stories described. Once he finally got the tunic off, he'd dive in and, with his hands and mouth he'd –

A scream interrupted Yami from his reverie and he blinked, refocusing his vision. There were signs of a struggle outside of his prison and he could hear the strained sounds of distressed angels. Random office supplies either flew into the air or were thrown off the tables and a small desk tipped over in with a loud crash. Yami did a double take when he saw Cupid running towards him with a set of keys.

But before he could make heads or tails of the situation, the door was opened and he was grabbed by the collar and yanked forward.

"Perhaps you would have more efficiently and quickly handled your duties if your organization system is of a more sophisticated caliber," Mai commented irritably, gesturing towards a sloping pile of files with a Heaven sticky note labelled 'Evidence and Misc." on top.

Irritated that his words had fallen on deaf ears, the Heaven cop could do nothing more than tell her what he'd been repeating the entire time they were there. "And I would like to counter that argument, once more," He said through clenched teeth, "That my efficiency and the speed at which my work is completed is strongly influenced by the degree of focus I place on my task. And, currently, your presence is decreasing this state of focus."

"Then perhaps I should reiterate the fact that our situation is far more urgent than the business of these people and," she nearly slapped the pile over the edge but the cop brought a hand out to catch it in time, "this farce you call your work."

"Everyone's business is urgent, it seems." He pushed the disarrayed documents out of Mai's reach, making a feeble attempt to straighten them before waving it off as a waste of time, "As I have requested before and perhaps would need to request again, please have a seat, Miss Celibacy."

She was too astounded by the Heaven cop's apathy to give attention to the comment, "I should thought it clear that our situation is of a particular variety of urgency, an urgency, I would presume, which is above those of others. Cupid had been brutally attacked by a demon, a demon, sir."

"He is, indeed, a demon. As of current, however, he is effectively subdued."

"Subdued, yet it has arisen from the slumber you have induced!" She gestured towards the groggy demon.

The cop continued mechanically sifting through a Heaven manila folder, unintentionally giving Mai a clear view of rather gruesome Heaven photographs, "Indeed, arisen, yet he continues to be in a state of bondage."

"Have you no fear that the demon, in its wakeful state, will proceed to breech its state of incarceration and attack us all?"

"Recall that we have subdued him once before. Should the occasion arise to do so again, I am confident we shall succeed once more."

"Unfortunately, I do not share your confidence. Your success had been attributed to the fact that you employed a 'surprise' tactic."

"Then logic dictates we shall do so again in order to replicate this success."

"Cupid is highly traumatized. Do you have no empathy?"

"I cannot, at the moment or ever, reverse this unpleasant feeling." He unscrewed he lid of his Heaven water bottle and took at long gulp, "And I know this because I have once been urged to try."

"Apologies but I believe you are now, indeed, making excuses!"

"Miss Celibacy, I beg of you!" He closed the folder and spun his chair to face her, irritated. But before he could continue, the door to the interrogation room opened and a scary-looking angel with tiny wings stepped out, the Heaven cop's partner following closely behind. Said partner quickly dismissed the angel and was soon at the Heaven cop's side, "It appears I am blessed with a bit of free time now. Perhaps I can alleviate you of your duties so you may assist the lovely lady here," he said to his partner before turning to Mai with a smile, "I apologize for your ill feelings towards our organization and its proceedings but perhaps your suffering will cease from this moment on."

Mai couldn't help her blush, "I thank you, uh - "

"Bandage Keith. Constable Bandage Keith."

" – Constable Bandage Keith."

Keith's partner grabbed something from a box and led Mai back to where Yugi anxiously waited.

"Apologies for the rather lengthy wait, Cupid. In the previous haste, I have not introduced myself. I am Ushio Whyisheinheaven."

Yugi's hand practically disappeared within that firm grip and he couldn't help but stare at the angel's hairy knuckles, "I am Yugi Mutou. It is a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Whyareyouinheaven - "

"- Whyisheinheaven. It is German."

"Oh," Yugi looked away, embarrassed, "Apologies."

"No ill feelings, I assure you. This mistake is rather common, though I have yet to understand why."

"Um… indeed."

Ushio signalled for Yugi to take his seat as he sat down on a nearby office chair. Mai stood stiff as a pole but finally agreed to take her place beside Yugi when they both looked at her as if they couldn't continue until she'd done so.

The cop leaned forward, expression a practiced seriousness, "Now then, to begin." Ushio held up the Anatomically Correct Doll with both hands, "Where did the demon touch you?"

Mai gasped and covered her mouth. Yugi's Heaven eyebrows shot up to his hairline.

"Um… Mr. Whyisheinheaven?"

"I will not discourage you if you take your time, Yugi. I understand this is a rather delicate issue." He held the doll closer to Yugi, assuming it would help him get a better look.

'Where didn't be touch me?' Was the first thing that came to mind as the blood crept to his face. But something was amiss and he didn't know how to react to it.

"Go on, Cupid. Do not hesitate. Tell the police officer where the terrible creature laid hands on you." Mai urged.

"Indeed I thank you for your understanding. However," Yugi lowered his voice sheepishly, "I am a male."

Ushio looked at the doll, then at Yugi, then the doll, then one last long look at Yugi. "Are you, indeed… sure?"

Yugi's throat closed, his face Heaven cherry red. He nodded.

Ushio didn't seem like he bought it but he mumbled a half-hearted apology and scrambled back to the box, tossing the doll inside and rummaging for a different one. Yugi watched as he continued his digging. Eventually, Ushio returned to his seat with the same doll.

"I am afraid I am unable to locate the male equivalent of Angelina here. But perhaps we can employ our imaginations in order to continue with this professional engagement."

"I – that is," Yugi began. His issue wasn't really whether the doll was 'correct' or not, it was the fact that there was a doll at all. And Yugi couldn't lie. "That is fine."

Ushio looked at the doll, shrugged and held it out to Yugi, who took it like it was a Heaven dirty sock. He flipped the doll back and forth in his hands, trying to figure a way out of his predicament.

Mai opened her mouth but Ushio's outstretched hand silenced her. "It is of utmost importance that we do not rush them." He said in a hushed tone, "Often, the trauma is repressed by the unconscious because the mind is attempting to shield itself from offending memories."

Mai nodded, slowly removing her hand from Yugi. Ushio continued, watching Yugi handle the doll, "If the memory is, indeed, repressed, it is, however, not impossible to retrieve the information we need. How Cupid plays with Angelina may give us insight into his psyche. It is best, at this point, to simply wait and watch."

"Whyisheinheaven." Ushio turned and Mai and Yugi looked up to see Keith at the far end of the room with a paper bag in his hand. He signalled for his partner to come over but the angel waved him away, saying he was busy. But Keith insisted and, after trying to ignore his partner several times, Ushio begrudgingly apologized and rose from his seat. Mai insisted on following and he reluctantly agreed. Yugi couldn't help but feel a little relieved.

"Apologies for disturbing you, but I had neglected to remember that we found these items on the demon's person." Keith held up the bag for emphasis.

"Please, do not hesitate to tell me what they are." Mai grabbed for the bag but Keith jerked it away from her.

"Apologies once more, Miss Celibacy, but the items are rather disturbing in nature."

Ushio quirked an eyebrow, clearly interested. "Oh?"

"Indeed. Steel yourselves." Keith unrolled the top of the bag and reached in, his gloved hand reappearing with a small white feather clasped between thumb and forefinger. "I believe this has been mercilessly taken from our Cupid some time during their encounter."

Mai squeaked and nearly ran to hide behind Ushio.

Keith carefully placed the feather in a Heaven Ziplock bag and set it aside. He looked from one angel to the other, his gazing wirily lingering on Mai. "Again, I urge you to steel yourselves for I believe this next item is far worse than the previous."

Mai nodded, clasping her hands together so they'd stop shaking.

At first, they couldn't tell what it was. The squared item was small, about one inch in length and height, and contained within a flat, round, ring-like object. There was nothing offending about it at first glance, but that didn't hold for very long.

Ushio quickly slipped on a glove he found in his desk drawer and took it from his partner, inspecting the demon-tongue written on it. "This appears to be a - " He shrieked and threw it in the air, taking a hasty step back. It landed on Mai, who nearly fell backwards, barely catching herself and tipping a desk over in the process. The office paraphernalia flying to the floor went unnoticed as the offending item slid down the front of her tunic. Mortified, she reached a hand down the neck opening, but by then, it was too far gone. The only other option was to approach it from the opposite end, something she was highly reluctant to do with two males watching.

"I request that you turn around." She said quickly, the Heaven cops immediately complying. Bending over, she, as gracefully as possible, slid her hand up her tunic and caught the item. Following her sigh of relief, they both turned around – and froze, gawking at her.

"What is the matter?" But, just as she said that, the odd breeze on her scalp alerted her to the problem and she dropped the item, both hands flying to her head. She looked down in horror as the blonde wig pooled at her feet. She snatched the wig off the floor and slipped it on in a hurry, feebly attempting to organize the messy strands into something presentable.

"I request that you bring me a mirror for it is rather urgent that I have one!" She gushed at Keith, who'd barely had time to recover from what he just saw.

"I assure you, Miss Celibacy, your look is nothing short of perfection." Keith tried to reassure the frantic woman, reaching out to brush a lock away from her face.

"I am afraid you do not understand my urgency so I will repeat my request," Mai pressed, now very embarrassed and distancing herself from the cop, "Please bring me a mirror!"

"Miss Celibacy, you, indeed, need not worry about your appearance!" Ushio attempted, and failed.

"APOLOGIES FOR RAISING MY VOICE BUT MUST I REPEAT MYSELF ONCE MORE?"

Keith was gone and back in an instant, a small Heaven mirror in his hand.

"Apologies for my lack of gratitude, but is this the best you can find?" She asked, not waiting for an answer before beginning to make adjustments with whatever of herself she can see in it.

"Indeed, it is the best I can f - "

"Please raise the mirror a bit higher."

"Yes, Miss Celibacy."

While Mai, with Keith's cooperative assistance, reassembled herself, Ushio willed himself to pick up the (now identified as a) condom and dropped it in the Heaven Ziplock bag. He put the bag where he couldn't see it and proceeded to clean up the mess on the floor. Once Mai was semi-satisfied with her appearance, she and Ushio made their way back to Yugi.

Who was no longer there.

Mai's eyes flew to the, now empty, cell #4B and screamed. Luckily she caught the wig before it fell off this time.

"The creature of unfathomable malice has unbound itself, overcome the holding chamber and kidnapped Cupid!"

TBC…

AN: 1) The term 'Mated Pair' came from James Cameron's Avatar. I thought it would be appropriate for the way things are set up in this AU

Also, thanks to the awesomely awesome Shamise, I have fanart on the way! YAY!