When I went home, I told Splinter about the planned meeting with Maria as we fed the kids at dinner time.
"Do you wish for me to accompany you?" He asked.
I gave him a pleading look. "Could you? I know I have to tell her, but I don't think I can do it alone."
He smiled at me kindly. "Of course. It will be a good opportunity for the children to see the city." I beamed at him before yawning with Mikey, who sat in my lap with Donny.
"Thank you, Watashi no ai."(My love) I leaned my head on his shoulder as we sat side by side with the boys clinging to us. It was that position that put my worried mind to rest.
The next day, I woke up after Splinter had already risen. With a yawn and a stretch I got up to see him at the table and the boys on the floor behind him. He was swaying his tail back and forth to entertain them and Mikey and Donny were trying to grab it. Leo and Raph were watching them.
At my giggling, Leo and Raph crawled over to me while Splinter said, "Good morning, Amai koi." (Sweet love) He was packing a picnic basket.
"Good morning." I said. I got up, and lifted Raph and Leo into my arms. "You ready to go?"
"Yes." He said. He picked up the other two boys and we left for the park.
When we got there, the boys crawled right up to the grate and looked out. "I think this may have been a mistake." I said.
"They must get used to seeing the outside world eventually." Splinter said. "It will be fine."
We spent a few hours to ourselves before I looked out to the park and saw Maria coming. We scooped up the kids and Splinter hid in the shadows with me at the edge of them.
"Hitomi? Are you here?" She called.
"In here, Maria." She looked at me as I sat with Leo in my lap, knowing that the shadows hid him and most of me. "I'm sorry for hiding like this but we both know how bad your temper is."
She looked confused and worried as she spoke, "Is what you have to tell me that bad?"
"Yeah, it is." I took a deep breath. "I'll get right into it and if you tell me to, you won't have to see or hear from me ever again."
"Hitomi…" She whispered, coming to the grate. Leo grasped my hand looked at me.
I took another breath. "The day Diego died… I never told you what happened or why they hate me for it. He died due to infection of a wound he got… while shielding… me." I let some tears fall.
"That's why they say it was your fault? He died because he was put between you and that bomb?" She said, hurt. I could hear it in her voice.
"Yes." I whispered. My only friend now blamed me for her true loves death.
She didn't speak for a while, but her next words both gave me hope and broke me. "I don't hate you, you're my only friend, but I can't forgive you. Not yet." She walked away.
It was a while before I was able to rise so we could go home. The boys played around us as I cried silently in Splinters arms. Once I was calm, we took our stuff and the boys and left for our sewer home.
When I got up the next morning, it was the same as always. I fed the boys with Splinter and headed for work afterwards. Geoffrey was arrogant as always, Miss Victoria was overly happy and everyone else idolized me. The only difference was that they all asked after Splinter and the boys a lot. When I got home, I had time to play with the boys, cook dinner, and told Splinter about my day as we fed them. On my days off I relaxed as Splinter cooked and we played with the boys all day, bonding after they were put to bed for the night with idle chat. That was my every day for the next year.
At least, it was until one horrifying night. The night I nearly lost my precious boys.