this is a special two-part story, since they're so short.
Blackbeardxmirror
Blackbeard sauntered over to his rose pedal covered bed and laid down next to full-body mirror, completely nude. Blackbeard then slowly spread open his legs to reveal his hairy crotch, that was snaking it's way into his buttcrack and up towards his belly button his gargantuan, yet noble balls, left to flop where they please. While his penis stood erect and beautiful Blackbeard then took his hand and began to stoke his dong to his sexy partner, the mirror, Occasionally massaging his nipples with his free hand and groping his man-breasts. Blackbeard then clenched his pimple coated asscheeks together and released semen all over the mirror, and of course causing puss to spew forth onto the floor, which he then promptly rolled over onto and rubbed himself in his own semen. On top of his reflection that's when Blackbeard decided it was time to get a little naughty and took the candles from the dresser next to his bed and began to drip seering hot wax down his body, causing his flesh to burn and sizzle as the candle traveled down to his penis. After teasing himself by dripping wax directly within the folds of his sack, he took the whick side of the candle, still lit, and slid it into his urethra, burning the stray hairs that were trapped the hood on his dong and causing boils to form on his urethra that began oozing a horrible puss that couldn't escape due to the candle lodged within his urethra. So it began to build up pressure which pleased Blackbeard immensely and as his penis bubbled up he could stand it no longer and took the candle out of his penis and out from the depths of Blackbeard's dong spewed forth a torrent of puss and blood and semen which sprayed all over his body until it settled down and dripped down his cock onto his already burned ballsack. Blackbeard heaved a sigh of relief and uttered a short phrase "happy birthday silver"
"these candles are going on your cake"
"a crossing of two beards; Jentaro and Marshall's love story"
Jentaro was sitting in dusty rundown bar in west blue stroking her long fabulous beard when in comes the sexiest man in all of West Blue, Marshall D. Teach and luckily for Jen, his pants are too tight and you can see a clear outline of his genitals smooshed against the side of his thigh which Jen notices immediately and gets a beardoner for it (tl note: beard boner)
Marshall saunters over to Jen's table,much to her suprise and whips out his testicles to rub them against her beard and when Jen can stand it no longer Marshall hops onto the table and rips his tear-away pants off does a quick 180 and shoves his gargantuan hairy asshole right in Jen's face pressed right up against the nose "stick it in" Marshall whispers Jentaro takes this cue and picks up her beard and begins to shove it into Blackbeard's asshole luckily for Jen Blackbeards anal mucus(continuity?)
begins to harden the beard to an exact mold of Blackbeard's anal cavities once thoroughly hardened, Blackbeard hops forward off the table, pulling the cockbeard out of his ass and then takes it into his hands and begins to lick the beard sensually "oh jentaro your cockbeard is so tasty after it's been in my asshole"
taking careful measure to lash at the chunks of corn and other undigested food out of the beard "let's finish this, jen" Blackbeard whips into Jen's ear chunks of poop flying out of his mouth as he said it so Blackbeard lays down on the table, legs sprawled and Jen hops up onto his chest and begins to man-tit-fuck Blackbeard's hairy chest mixing his hair with hers, was the greatest joy she could ever feel as the mucus rubs off onto Blackbeard's chest he begins to ejaculate wildly into the air and to sustain his pleasure he rubs the mucus, and Jentaro's beard into his chest and as Jentaro and Blackbeard lay tired and on top of each other Jentaro manages to utter "at last, I am complete"