That night, Tohru didn't sleep. She tossed and turned, and swore she could hear Kyo's snores trough the walls.

She stared up at the ceiling, her final conversation with Akito playing through her mind.

"You're not having sex?" Akito's eyes widened and her mouth hung a little agape.

Tohru looked down. "It's not that big of a deal."

"But it is. It's a necessity for every relationship, Tohru."

"I'm scared. I love him so much but I'm scared."

"Why?"

Tohru interlocked her fingers, sitting on the pale yellow couch.

"I'm just afraid he'll leave."

"Tohru, that boy would do anything for you, he would never leave you."

"What if it just isn't the same?"

Akito looked at her closely, wiping a stray tear from her cheek. "This sounds like some sort of trauma, Tohru. Did something like this happen to you before?"

Tohru shook her head. "Kyo is my first boyfriend. It's just-"

"Parents, then?"

Tohru stayed silent.

"I'm sorry." Akito sighed deeply. "I can't offer much advice, but I do know one thing. A love between a man and a woman isn't just an emotional connection. In a big part it is, but it is also about a physical connection. I struggled with it too, you know. My femininity was repressed for years and I didn't think of myself as woman enough to ever be with Shigure. But it wasn't like that. It was my own worries that just drove a wedge between us for so long.

Don't do that to you and Kyo. He probably really wants to be with you, Tohru, men are physical creatures. Don't be scared."

"I just don't think it's important."

"It is. It's such an intimate thing, it's getting closer to your lover. It's reassurance."

"Ah~" Tohru let out a frustrated breath, throwing a pillow over her face. She'd be kidding herself if she said she didn't want to. Sometimes when they would sit together watching TV, or just take a moment to look at each other, she just wanted to hug him and kiss him and be closer to him. To just keep him with her forever.

And she didn't remember much about her parent's relationship, but she did remember that. She remembered how hard her mother cried when her father left them, and later when he died. She remembered over hearing her mother speak with relatives about how "he had an affair," and how "she just wasn't good enough to keep."

What if she wasn't good enough?

What if...

Tohru closed her eyes, pulling the blanket over her shoulders.

What if...