AN: AHAH! Technically within a month!

Flirty

Alcohol had gotten Kyo to admit Yuki is pretty.

Kagura could hardly believe her ears when she heard the news. Kyo, who was hard-pressed to give any sort of compliment to anyone at any time, had admitted Yuki, his long-time rival and the number one person he would never compliment, was pretty.

Wasn't her Kyo just so adorable?

But why did he NEVER COMPLIMENT HER?!

KYO WAS SO GOING TO GET IT WHEN SHE SAW HIM NEXT!

Oh, unless... unless...

"Hello," Shigure greeted, picking up his home phone. The ID was from the main estate, so he didn't bother introducing himself.

"Is Kyo there?" Came the meek voice from the receiver. Shigure smirked. Oh, it was always so fun when Kagura came over; yeah, his house usually took a beating, but watching Kyo be beat up by such a generally nice girl was so worth it.

"Not right now. Can I give him a message?" Shigure was very careful to keep his voice calming; talking to Kagura was always much easier when neither party was excited. Things tended to get out of hand when that happened. There was also the little fact that he was totally lying; Kyo was just in the other room. But Shigure had a feeling that he would get much more enjoyment out of this if he was privy to all the little details, and Kyo sure wouldn't tell him anything.

"Oh," aww, she sounded so disappointed! Young love; so cute. "I was thinking about visiting this weekend, but Kyo said-"

"Oh, no, nevermind that!" Shigure interrupted, eyes lighting up mischievously. He already knew what Kyo said; he was busy, he had work, he wouldn't even be home so she shouldn't bother. He also knew that the cat was not the most quick-witted when it came down to making excuses. Odds were in favor of him not actually having specified what he would be so monumentally busy with, so Shigure wouldn't have to worry about getting that detail right. "He had a school project, but he finished it early just so he would have time with you!"

"Really?" She was so hopeful. Shigure, who was having way too much fun to stop now, nodded happily. A moment later, he realized she couldn't see him and gave verbal confirmation.

"Yes, of course! He told me himself!"

Kyo had done no such thing. In fact, he hadn't even informed the dog that Kagura had called him. That in itself was a miracle, usually it was blaringly obvious when the boar called even without Kyo's confirmation; there was a lot of yelling and it usually ended with Kyo grabbing what he could carry and attempting to go on a spiritual journey to the mountains.

"Then I'll come this weekend! You'll tell him, won't you Shigure?" She asked, sounding like she was floating on cloud nine.

"Of course, I'm sure he'll be thrilled," Shigure cooed, voice completely opposing the feral grin that had spread across his face. Shigure had absolutely no intention of telling Kyo Kagura had even called, much less that she was coming over. His shock when he heard her jet-like speed approaching the house would be so much sweeter if he didn't know, and the utter terror that would stain his visage when he heard her dulcet tones screaming "KYOOOOOOO". Not to mention the betrayed look he would surely send Shigure's way when Kagura pointed out that Shigure told him she was coming. It would be priceless.

"This weekend will be fun," he sniggered quietly to himself once the call had ended.

"What was that?" Yuki asked from the other room, coming to the doorframe to look quizzically at the dog. Shigure gave the rat his most winning smile.

"Nothing, Yuki."

Yuki knew something was up. He didn't know what exactly, but Shigure was definitely up to something. Said dog had been grinning a lot, and looking at Kyo as if he knew something the stupid cat didn't (which, really, wasn't a hard thing to accomplish) ever since that phone call that he also refused to talk about.

No, that wasn't exactly accurate. Shigure was perfectly willing to talk about that phone call, but he only ever gave cryptic clues or downright lies.

The worst part was that Yuki knew Shigure was better at lying than that. He knew the dog could have come up with a story in half a second (he is a writer, after all) and could have sold it just as easily. But he didn't. Shigure was purposefully letting them know that something he thought was funny would happen, and his definition of funny was questionable at best.

Even Tohru, oblivious Tohru, had caught on to the fact that something was going on. It wasn't that Tohru was dumb, just that she was notoriously out of the loop in the most adorable kind of way. When even she could point out that Shigure was hiding something, he really wanted it known. Of course, being the innocent and guileless person she was, she didn't feel the same apprehension as the boys did, assuming the secret was a good secret.

Kyo, personally, was tired of being looked at as if he was going to be made into a Christmas present.

Which was something he hadn't considered.

And an occurrence he wouldn't put past Shigure.

He would have to watch out. He didn't want to wake up Christmas morning in a box labeled "Kagura".

Anyway, the cat had never been the calmest of people (obviously) and knowing that someone else knew something that he didn't, a thing that apparently affected him in some way, was one of the many things that made him very annoyed. So by the time Shigure's "surprise" had come, Kyo was already thoroughly pissed at life in general.

Shigure had risen that morning with a grin on his face, humming a song (one of his favorites called "High School Girls"). This in itself wasn't odd; Shigure was always disgustingly cheerful in the unholy hours of the morning.

He did, however, wake up earlier than usual. After all, he couldn't be sure exactly when Kagura would show up, and he was not going to miss the show. The only person who noticed this slight inconsistency was Tohru (sweet, sweet Tohru who had made it her job to know their schedules simply so she could help them in any way possible), and she just made a passing comment about good habits. Kyo really couldn't care less about Shigure's schedule, so he didn't know when the dog always got up despite always being awake before him; Yuki was hardly awake himself by the time Shigure got up, and so never noticed who was or was not awake.

Kyo was already glaring darkly at Shigure's chipper demeanor when his doom came thundering down the path to Shigure's house.

Shigure's prediction of what would happen was fairly accurate.

The sound of Kagura running was very distinct, and Kyo had been trained from a very young age to run very fast and far whenever that sound was heard.

Unfortunately he wasn't expecting it, and for a second his shock rendered him immobile. Also unfortunately for Kyo, Shigure had been trained to detain the cat when he tried to run for maximum hilarity, and he did so now with an all-too-pleased smile.

"Let me go!" Kyo bellowed, attempting to pull away from Shigure's vice-like grip with absolutely zero success. Yuki sipped his tea, ignoring both Kyo's antics and the increasingly loud sound of an approaching possibly-homicidal teenage girl. Tohru looked concerned; she had not yet learned to identify Kagura's distinctive running by sound alone, and was therefore not sure why Kyo had suddenly lost it. She did nothing more than look concerned, however, because this had become a semi-regular occurrence since she had begun living with the Sohmas. Shigure also calmly drank his tea, despite one arm being occupied with the violently thrashing cat.

That was about the time Kagura started yelling. She had memorized the exact distance from Shigure's house that her yelling could be heard clearly over her running, so everyone was able to decipher that she was definitely yelling for Kyo this time. As all other times.

Yuki and Shigure showed no change, except maybe Shigure's grin had gotten a bit bigger. Tohru smiled, suddenly realizing who was coming and looking forward to it. Kyo redoubled his desperate bids for escape, pure terror staining his features.

Shigure risked a glance back at the cat (risked his air of nonchalant coolness) and quickly hid his grin behind the tea cup he still held in the other hand. Terror, check. Next should be defiance, then he'd get pounded, then reluctant resignation. Always the same old story, but it was a funny one, and Shigure had personally never minded reruns.

Kagura tore easily through his doors, sending wood splinters and the remnants flying to the side, and Shigure let out the obligatory "my house!" because that's just what always was said. Then the demonic girl who had torn through a relatively stable door with no qualms or difficulties disappeared, replaced with a sweet little girl who wouldn't hurt a fly who was looking at Kyo from across the table with wide, kicked-puppy eyes and hands clasped shyly behind her back.

Kyo continued attempting to escape. He was beginning to think Shigure might be some sort of superhuman because, really, the guy hadn't moved an inch since he started holding Kyo back and didn't look like he was straining at all, and Kyo knew he was a pretty strong dude despite never having beat Yuki and how was Shigure doing that? Or rather, that was a passing thought in his mind; most were focused solely on Kagura and what she was going to so to him if he didn't get away right now.

With one firm yank Shigure had the cat sprawled back in his seat, looking back at Kagura in terror.

"Oh Kyo, it's been so long. I've missed you so much," Kagura said, starting one of her common before-punishment speeches saved especially for Kyo when he was being totally inconsiderate (really, who didn't even contact their wife-to-be in between actually seeing them? The boy was lucky he was still alive!).

"Kagura, I'm sure Kyo is very happy to see you," Tohru provided, trying to save Kyo from his fate. Unfortunately for Kyo, Shigure found the violence to be funny.

"Really?" Kagura asked, eyes shining, turning to look at Tohru for a moment before fixing them back on the sprawled cat. He had tried to escape when she looked away, arms scrabbling awkwardly in the air, legs flailing, because Shigure was not so stupid as to let Kyo's hoodie go just because he'd fallen over. And by fallen, Shigure meant pulled, yanked, hauled, and many other words that had a bit different meaning than fell, but Shigure didn't use because fell made Kyo look like he was at fault, which would make him angry, which was, of course, funny.

"Oh yes, he's been looking forward to your visit!" Shigure added cheerfully, knowing exactly what this declaration would cause.

"WHAT?! I didn't even know she was coming! If I had, I woulda left!" Kyo snapped, denying the statement just as Shigure knew he would.

"But Kyo, Shigure said he would tell you," Kagura said innocently, seeming to ignore the last part of his statement. The dog nodded in agreement, matching Kagura's innocent look.

"And I did."

Yuki and Kyo both knew for a fact that wasn't true. Tohru figured she just hadn't heard, or maybe forgot, and apologized accordingly.

Shigure regarded Kyo from the corner of his eye, smirking when that shocked betrayal sprung onto his face. It lasted only a fraction of a second before being replaced by a simple glare. The dog frowned slightly, disappointed. He had wanted a bigger reaction. In his assessment of the situation, he had neglected to factor in that Kyo already thought he was the devil incarnate and so wouldn't be very surprised when he was the harbinger of Kagura.

"What are you here for?" Kyo snapped at his 'beloved', hoping that she would just give him some terrible present and be gone for a while. A very long while.

"I came to give you this," Kagura muttered shyly, still in her nice persona, as she pulled a bottle of something from somewhere undefined. While Yuki and Tohru wondered where she had managed to hide that thing, Kyo and Shigure were too busy staring at the bottle to care. They had two highly different reactions.

Shigure was, once again, looking as if Christmas had come early. Word had spread! No longer was it up to only Aya and himself to make Kyo's life miserable for their own enjoyment; the other Sohmas had begun to hear of Drunk!Kyo's escapades, and were perpetuating them!

Kyo, on the other hand, looked mortified. His previous encounters with alcohol hadn't exactly endeared himself to the stuff. There were the hangovers, of course, and the feeling that he had totally missed something that he just hated because he couldn't really deny something when he wasn't even sure if he had done it or not! And that wasn't even mentioning that the first time caused rumors of him actually complimenting the rat and the second ended with him in jail!

"Get away from me!" Kyo screeched, once again making a bolt for the door. Shigure had still not released him, which caused a most amusing sort of yo-yo effect. Kyo jumped to his feet, managed to strain against the fabric for maybe half a second, and was sent crashing back down with a flick of Shigure's wrist. Resigned to his position, Kyo settled for simply glaring fiercely at Kagura and her bottle. "There's no way I'm drinking that!"

There was nothing on earth that could make Kyo drink that.

"K-Kyo..." Tears began filling up Kagura's eyes. Kyo felt fear pierce his heart. Shigure stifled a grin, releasing the cat's hoodie without said teen noticing. Yuki sighed, for he also knew what this would turn into in about five seconds, and put a hand on Tohru's shoulder to stop her from getting between Kagura and her beloved. "Y-you... I GOT YOU A PRESENT!" Kyo went flying through the air and out of the already broken sliding doors, Kagura following swiftly after. "IT IS FILLED WITH MY LOVE!" Kyo was now being windmilled around the yard. Yuki and Shigure continued to sip their tea while Tohru watched in worry. "YOU WILL DRINK IT!"

And he did, but not of his own accord.

"Oh no! Kyo, who did this to you?" Kagura simpered after she had forced at least half of the liquid down Kyo's throat, suddenly reverting back into her usual persona. Kyo, who was both dazed and completely smashed, understandably didn't answer.

"That would be you, Kagura," Yuki stated without even looking back to where the girl crouched beside her fallen beloved. Kagura, as usual, decided to ignore the accusation and was now Shaking Kyo rather violently because he wouldn't answer the simple question.

"Kagura, would you like a cup of tea?" Tohru asked, both because it was polite and to possibly get the girl to stop making Kyo's condition worse.

"Kyo will be fine," Shigure added flippantly when she hesitated, whereupon Kagura made her way into the now open-air dining room.

As soon as Kagura had sat down far enough away from him, Kyo scrambled halfway to his feet and flailed his way into the woods. Once he felt he was a sufficient distance away from the house (both to escape Kagura and to keep his drunk self away from the devious mind of Shigure) he straightened up only to sag against a tree.

Was the world supposed to be all wobbly?

He just needed to... to get somewhere more stable! Yes, the ground obviously wasn't doing it's job... but the tree seemed to be doing a good job.

Yes! Climb the tree!

Kyo studied the tree. He could totally do it.

But Kyo wasn't dumb. Kyo knew he was drunk, and drunk people were irrational. Therefore, he would make sure to think all of his decisions through twice!

.

.

.

Yup, seemed like a sound thought process to him.

There were a few false starts, the most notable of which ended with Kyo upside-down and hanging from his ankle, but Kyo eventually got himself onto a fairly high branch. He was lying on his stomach, arms and legs locked around the rather thick jut of wood.

Because it seemed his ingenious plan had failed. The world was still jiggling.

Kyo closed his eyes against the nausea, mentally cursing Kagura and her stupid delusions.

A twig snapped. Kyo's eyes flew open (he almost fell too, but that's beside the point) and he focused on the figure moving towards him.

That was a very pretty person. Subtle curves, fitting clothes, eyes that glinted in the light that filtered through the leaves. The person seemed to be looking for someone, and their head swung to the side, making their purple-grey hair-

Oh, oh heck no.

Yuki had not found Kyo yet. He had followed the cat into the woods a few minutes after he had run in, after the others decided that drunk Kyo should probably not be left to his own devices lest something like the milk fiasco happen once more.

He sighed in annoyance; there were so many more things he could have been doing with his time. Why was it that Kagura's unending pursuit of Kyo always caused Yuki problems?

The rat turned to look to the side of where he was walking; he could have sworn he'd heard something coming from this direction. Just as he swept his hair from in front of his face (where it had fallen when he turned), there was a noise that sounded suspiciously like someone throwing up from above him.

Looking up, Yuki spotted Kyo about ten feet in the air on a tree limb. Or rather, hanging off of a tree limb looking slightly green, very red, and highly disturbed.

"Did you get stuck in a tree, stupid cat?" Yuki asked, not moving any closer from where he was already. Kyo ceased his flailing, turning his head to glare daggers at the other teen.

After all, it wasn't Kyo's fault that Yuki looked like a freaking girl, now was it?

But... still. Just yuck.

"I'm up here cuz I wanna be up here!" Kyo blustered, reminding himself that he was drunk and that every single thing he thought was probably a result of that. His fault or not, though, Kyo did not need Yuki's help for anything.

"I'm sure," Yuki drawled, unimpressed. It was completely obvious the cat was struggling, and if his grip continued to loosen at the rate it was, Kyo was going to fall in about three... two... one...

The cat tumbled down, snagging on a few branches, flopping onto a branch about six feet above the ground, and finally rolling off of that and landing face-first on the ground.

Yuki didn't lift a finger to help. He'd seen Kyo walk away from much higher falls even without the other objects slowing him down.

"Come on, stupid cat, before you kill both of us," Yuki grumbled, yanking Kyo unceremoniously to his feet and dragging him back towards Shigure's house by the collar of his shirt. He ignored both Kyo's verbal protests ("Kagura's still there! Let me go!") and his uncoordinated and sloppy bids for freedom.

"Found him," Yuki announced upon entering the clearing in which Shigure's house was built. Shigure was still sitting at the table, as usual, but Kagura and Tohru seemed to be keeping vigil for when the two boys returned.

"Kyo!" Kagura called, tears in her eyes as she ran, in slow motion, towards the orange-haired teen. Even in Kyo's drunken state, he knew this was not good. Especially when time suddenly turned back to normal, Kagura's eyes narrowing to slits as she yelled, "I WAS SO WORRIED!"

"YoulookveryniceKagura!" Kyo rattled out even as he flinched, Kagura's fist stopping just centimeters from his face.

Kagura's eyes turned into hearts. Litteral hearts. Kyo was sure of it. They definitely- oh, wait, maybe that was because he was drunk. He'd forgotten he was drunk for a minute there between the freezing terror and self-preservation kicking in. What had he just said?

"I love you Kyo!" Kagura declared, grabbing said boy and hugging his face to her chest.

Kyo was unsure as to what had just happened. He said something... maybe... and Kagura had suddenly stopped charging at him. Was this her attempting to suffocate him? And was she spinning him, or was the world just spinning?

Everything was moving very fast. Was Kagura still talking? He couldn't tell anymore...

Finally Kyo was released from the back-breaking grip (Shigure may have said something along the lines of "Um, Kagura, I think Kyo's dying..." but heck if Kyo knew) and while he was re-learning how to breathe and trying to get the world to just sit still for two seconds he suddenly found himself seated next to (kind of on top of? Maybe? Was he leaning on her, or the other way around?) Kagura at Shigure's table.

Shigure looked unduly pleased. Yuki once more opted for ignoring them all. Tohru was looking at the pair with a smile, happy that they were kind of getting along.

Kyo, still slightly dazed, looked around at them all, passing over Yuki and Shigure and lingering on Tohru.

When was the last time someone had given Tohru a complement? Besides Shigure, the pervert. Obviously it had been too long, however long it had been. She was an absolute saint, after all, putting up with her three housemates, cooking amazing meals (she even made leeks almost palatable), and smiling no matter what.

Well, if no one else was going to tell her, Kyo supposed it would just be up to him.

"Tohru," he began catching her attention with a smile. A real, honest to goodness smile, not one of his grins or smirks or forced smiles. A soft, kind smile that didn't make it onto his face often. "You look beautiful."

There was a moment of silence in which everyone stared at Kyo in shock (save for Tohru, whose face had turned cherry red and was now looking determinedly down at the table).

And then Kyo was thrown out the door.

"KYO YOU CHEATER!"

AN: So, I have an idea or two about other types of drunk Kyo could be, but if you have a specific type of drunk you want to see Kyo as, feel free to leave a comment about it.