I wish I'd bothered to really get to know her. There's a lot of stupidity that goes on between women, Abigail. You'll learn that we're very territorial, irrational sometimes. Unfortunately it keeps us from bonding with other strong women. Your mother was probably the strongest woman I ever met. If I'd known then what I know now, I would have taken her in my arms and loved her. She deserved that, she didn't deserve my bitchiness. It's hard though, kiddo, when you're the only woman on shift and your boss slash best friend brings in some young brilliant thing to the team.

I thought that all my troubles with Lindsey would have your father lined up for a vasectomy before he turned 45, but boy was I wrong. When Sara started getting that little rounded tummy I just had to ask him. Oh Abby, he couldn't hide that grin. I told him he didn't know what he was getting into, but I can't say I expected any of this. Lindsey was 9 when Eddie died, but the thought of you growing up not even remembering your mother makes me sick, baby. To think he waited his whole life for this, for her, he wouldn't let anyone in but her. I claimed to be his best friend, but I think I'd been to his house maybe 5 times in the past 15 years.

I was actually with your mother when she went into labor. She'd mentioned needing a nursing pillow so I offered to take her to Babies R Us. Gil was hell bent on her not driving past 36 weeks, some irrational fear of Sara in labor road raging and killing innocent civilians. We'd just turned onto Stephanie Street in Henderson when the pains started. By the time we'd made it through the second stop light her contractions were 6 minutes apart. I wish my labor had gone so fast!

But seriously hon, remember I'm here for you. I think I might end up being the only female influence in your life. I'm not sure if your mom would like it, me as her daughter's role model, but I'm going to try to do right by her. You'll grow up tough, strong, independent. You'll be everything she was, because she was his everything. You have a rough road ahead of you, Abigail, but you'll get through it, I'll make sure of it.