A/N: Thank you all so much for the reviews and alerts and favourites! They make my day!
Rachel wasn't speaking to him.
A year ago and this would have been a fucking dream come true. But since then Puck had grown up and she'd grown boobs, and he'd realised how damn pathetic his life would be without her there, encouraging him to do better. And, you know, the fact that she was now his girl. Which meant that her not talking to him would pretty much screw up any chances of them having sex later that day. And that was definitely not cool with him because he needed sex like he needed dip.
She'd been ignoring him for the better part of an hour (which happened frequently) but was refusing to crack a smile at any of his innuendo's (which didn't).
So if he hadn't been such a stud, he'd sort of be worried.
For the sake of necessity she was sitting next to him – the room was small and the desks were few – but her chair was angled away from him towards the window and the stiffness of her posture told him he wasn't about to be forgiven any time soon. Every few minutes she would smooth down her skirt, or cross and uncross her legs or just fidget in typical Berry style – she never could sit still, especially when she was dying to criticise someone during glee but knew it would be best for team morale if she kept her mouth shut – and he could tell she was desperate to scream at him, but too proud to do it in front of Mike.
He was sitting behind them and making matters a fuck load worse by commenting loudly and frequently about their sex life.
"You did it in the library Rach? Shit. If I'd known you were that kinky I'd have scooped you up before Puckerman could get his hands on you."
Rachel answered without turning her head, her voice frosty. "Mike. For the hundredth time. We did not have sex in the library."
He shrugged, undeterred by her evident unwillingness to discuss the subject. "Whatever. Nearly had sex in the library. Let's not quibble over – whatd'ya call it… Semitics."
"Semantics Mike" said Rachel wearily.
Puck groaned. Chang's bad grammar would just put her in an even worse mood.
"Yeah, that" Mike nodded. "Anyway, damn dude! It sure makes reading a hell of a lot more interesting. Score!" he raised his hand for a high five, but Puck left him hanging.
"Dude, seriously, I'm in deep enough shit as it is" he muttered. Rachel had even ignored his offer of taking her to see West Side Story for Christ sake. He was literally putting his balls on the line for her (the guys would never let him live it down if they found out he'd willingly gone to see a musical) and he hadn't even got a response.
"Babe, can't we talk about this?" he asked her coaxingly.
Rachel kept her gaze fixed resolutely on the teacher's desk, where Mr Schue was marking papers.
"I have nothing to say to you Noah."
Puck ran a hand through his Mohawk, not sure what else to do. If this had been one of their normal fights (like when he refuses to watch Cabaret for the tenth time, or when she finds one of Santana's bra's under his bed – from long ago hook ups, so he's not sure why it pisses her off so much) he'd have sweet talked her out of it and kissed her until she gave in – leading to make up sex and multiple batches of "I'm sorry" cookies. But for one thing Mr Schue was keeping a really close eye on them and for another, making out in public was what had gotten him into this mess.
He sighed. "Rach, please just talk to me."
(Shut up, he wasn't begging).
"I refuse to talk to you until you realise the severity of your actions" she told him, turning to give him a cold look.
He hated it when she shut him out like this, so he couldn't even tell if he was making things worse by talking. He knew he was in big trouble the second she stopped dramatising the situation and cut off her emotions.
"I just don't see what the big deal is. It's not like you you're missing much anyways. Only ballet practice."
At his words her icy mask cracked and suddenly her eyes were blazing with anger. If Rachel Berry looked at anyone else like that, they'd start running. Puck grinned, satisfied that he'd gotten a reaction at last.
"You have landed me in detention!" Rachel hissed, keeping her voice low. "Detention Noah! It'll go on my permanent record!"
"Chill babe, it's not like anyone looks at those."
"I can't believe I let you talk me into fooling around on school premises" she continued angrily. "And the library of all places. It was completely counterproductive and entirely irresponsible. Not to mention unhygienic and –"
"Totally hot?" Puck quirked an eyebrow.
"Oh man, I knew you did it!" Mike broke in, slamming his hand down on Puck's shoulder. "Way to go dude, it's a glee first. Finn and Quinn took the bleachers; San and Artie have done the music storeroom. Although I'm pretty sure you and San did most places when you were dating…"
"What the hell, are you trying to screw me over?" Puck demanded, while Rachel pursed her lips and turned away again.
"Rach" he said, leaning over and putting a hand on her thigh. "Look, I'm sorry about –"
"Puck? What's going on back here?"
Mr Schue was standing in front of their desk, his arms folded. "This is detention guys, not you free time. I can't have you causing a commotion."
He looked pointedly at Puck's hand and he retracted it, scowling.
Rachel had sniffed at the word "detention" and was refusing to look at either of them.
"Rachel is there a problem?" enquired Mr Schue politely.
She shook her head, a quick, jerky movement that caused her hair to whip across her face. "Nothing that you can help with Mr Schuester. Noah and I are currently having a few relationship problems."
"I hope this won't affect your involvement in glee club" Mr Schue frowned. "It's coming up to Sectionals and I can't have my female lead distracted."
"So distraction's what we're calling it nowadays is it?" said Mike, smirking as he leant forward on his chair to bump fists with Puck.
"You still here Chang?" Puck growled, ignoring the Asian boy and turning to Rachel.
"Relationship problems?" he echoed dejectedly. That was universal girl talk for "I'm going to make you work you ass off until you prove you're a better boyfriend". And up until now, there was no way he'd have done that for a girl. Phrases such as "I think we should talk" had him out the door and half way to Finn's for a round of Halo before you could say "commitment issues" (because yeah, owning Finn's ass and beating his high score was a hell of a lot more appealing than dealing with emotions.)
Getting girls to make out with him just by flashing his guns – he owned that.
Dealing with feelings, not so much.
But Rachel was different. He'd never been in a relationship that wasn't just about sex before – don't get him wrong, the sex was amazing. Like seriously. The girl could do things with her mouth that should be made illegal – but he actually enjoyed spending time with her. He liked playing guitar while she did homework and driving her back from dance when she was all worn out and apologetic for cutting short their time together. He liked hanging out in the kitchen while she made dinner for her dad's and making her laugh when he messed up the simplest jobs she gave him. And (although he'd shoot himself before admitting this to anyone else) he was even starting to enjoy the old black and white films she forced him to watch.
So shit. If he wanted to keep her, he knew he had to step up and be a man.
"Err, Mr Schue? Would it be ok if me and Rach went outside for a second to sort this out? I know its detention and all but if you don't want glee messed about…" he left the sentence hanging, knowing that the Spanish teacher would let the rules slide if their success at Sectionals was in the slightest chance of jeopardy.
"Ok Puck" he nodded, "you can go but come back in after five minutes. And stay just outside the door."
"Rach?" Puck asked, raising an eyebrow hopefully. "You coming?"
She didn't look at him, but stood up and walked stiffly to the door. He followed after her, trying to keep focused on his apology rather than her ass.
When they were out in the corridor, he let out a whistle.
"So that was pretty good of Mr Schue, letting us out."
Rachel shrugged noncommittally, but her eyes found his and there was an unanswered question in them.
"Yeah, well" Puck began, running a hand through his Mohawk. "I thought it would be better to talk without Chang making crass comments every two seconds."
"And I wonder where he's picked that up…"
Damn. Ok, so she'd won that point. It was time to break out the Puckerman charm.
"Babe, I'm sorry about detention. If I'd known Mrs Adams was cataloguing books back there I would have suggested we go to my truck instead."
Rachel's nostrils flared. "Do you have any idea how humiliating it was having to sit in Principal Figgins office and be berated for exposing myself in the library?" she snapped.
"I love it when you talk dirty" Puck smirked.
"Shut it, Puckerman."
She crossed her arms and glared at him. He was always surprised by how much anger such a small body could produce, but he wasn't given much time to contemplate this because she'd started up again, her voice low and furious.
"And being given detention – detention Noah! – when up until now I have had an exemplary behavioural record. And all because you were too impatient to wait until the end of school to have sex. This whole day has been the most horrific experience of my high school life."
"I don't remember you complaining at the time" he murmured, stepping forward so their bodies were only inches apart and catching a strand of her hair between his fingers. He heard her breath catch as he tucked it behind her ear, though her expression remained indifferent. Point to him.
"At the time I was – somewhat engaged" she replied, trying to keep her voice stony. Which was hard when the feel of Puck's hand on her hip, his fingers softly brushing the sliver of exposed skin between her skirt and blouse, was causing her to have delicious flashbacks of him pressing her up against the shelf of encyclopaedia's and slipping a hand between her thighs.
"I really am sorry Rach" he whispered, gently pulling her towards him. "I'm sorry you got detention and I'm sorry you had to go back to the library and get your underwear on your own."
His arms wrapped around her waist and Rachel snuggled automatically into his chest, breathing in his musky scent while his hand stroked her hair. There was something about his touch that stopped her from thinking straight. And whether this was due to desire, or the fact that he'd managed to become such an important part of her life when he wasn't even in the Five Year Plan (win nationals, graduate, move to New York, find her big break), she couldn't imagine not feeling this hazy sense of happiness every day.
She decided that perhaps she'd punished him enough. He did seem very sorry – or at least, very gorgeous and doing lovely things with his lips on her neck – and it wasn't as if the producers on Broadway would take a particularly avid interest in her permanent record anyway…
"I didn't" she murmured, pulling back so she could look up into his eyes.
He kept his arms locked around her. "Didn't what babe?"
"I didn't go back and get them…"
She smiled at him; a slow, sultry smile that made Puck's blood flow towards his groin even before he caught on.
"Rach. Fuck" he groaned, his eyes trailing down her body to where the bottom of her skirt grazed the smooth skin of her thighs. He wasn't sure if she was telling the truth but by fuck he was going to find out.
"Shit, there has to be a janitor's cupboard around here somewhere, or an empty classroom. Or anything…"
He started to pull her down the corridor towards the nearest door, but she dropped his hand and shook her head, still smiling.
"Mr Schue said five minutes Noah. And we've been out here at least three."
"And? I've got two minutes left to get you off."
Rachel watched him, bemused, as he looked round for a door that might miraculously open on to a secluded room. There was something oddly endearing about it. But still, even though she'd decided that he'd apologised enough, it didn't mean he was entirely forgiven.
"Noah?"
He turned back to her and as he shot her a questioning look she reached her hand down and began to ruck the side of her skirt up, revealing a lot more leg than she would ever normally do in public (their earlier tryst in the library aside).
Puck swallowed, his eyes fixed on her hand as she pulled the fabric higher and higher. Fuck. If she had any idea what she was doing to him…
"Or here" he said, breaking into a grin and striding back to her – or, considering the inconvenience in his trousers, it was as close to a stride as he could manage. "Here's good."
When he was a step away from her, she let the material fall.
"Actually no. Two minutes is not going to be enough time for what I've got planned" she told him.
Puck growled, catching her wrist as she turned away from him. "Seriously Rach, you can't do this to me."
She looked round at him over her shoulder, her eyes bright with amusement.
"I can Noah, and I will. After school, we're going to go and apologise to my dance teacher for missing my lesson. Next we're going to go back to your house and take your sister round to Mrs Oldman next door. Then we're going to have the best sex of your life. But right now, we have detention."
Smiling sweetly, she slipped her hand out of his grasp and walked back towards the classroom.
Puck groaned. "This is you getting revenge, isn't it?"
"Now we're even" she shrugged, her hand on the classroom door. "And Noah? You might want to sort out the problem in your trousers before you follow me in as I don't think Mr Schue would approve. He would almost certainly class it as something you should only do in your free time."
"Which is all he does in his free time, seeing as Miss Pillsbury isn't putting out" Puck smirked.
"And you said Mike Chang was crass" she said, rolling her eyes.
"What can I say? He learnt from the master."
"I really don't want to know about the things you've taught Mike. Especially what you do to the juniors with lunch food…"
"You know about that?" Puck asked, rubbing the back of his neck guiltily. It wasn't that Rachel had expressly forbid him from continuing with his slushying and "similar Neanderthal tendencies", but she sure as hell didn't jump for joy whenever he tossed some idiot in a dumpster.
Rachel wrinkled up her nose. "I found that boy Ben Farras pulling pizza out of his trousers in the music room the other day."
"It was totally Finn's idea!" Puck defended himself. "And we only do it to the douchey ones."
And shit it was satisfying. Especially when he saw them trudging round school later that day with Coleslaw dripping out their trouser legs.
"I'm glad to see your victims now go through a sophisticated screening process" she said dryly. "I would have hoped my influence might have curbed your bullying habits Noah."
"You can lead a horse to water…"he shrugged. "Anyways, isn't it part of my charm?"
"It's one of your character traits I try and overlook."
He raised an eyebrow. "You mean you want me to stop pounding on Ben Israel for staring at your boobs?"
Rachel's lips curved upwards, against her will. "That particular indiscretion, I'm willing to overlook."
He grinned and joined her at the door. "So. You ready to get your hot ass back in detention Berry?"
"I suppose it is good that I'm taking an interest in your extra-curricular activities seeing as you regularly pick me up from dance" she said thoughtfully.
"That's right babe. See this as supporting my hobbies."
He reached over and took her hand before leaning across her and opening the door. As they entered the room, Mr Schue looked up and smiled.
"Everything ok now Rachel?" he asked.
"Everything's fine" she said, giving Puck's hand a squeeze.
Maybe detention wasn't so bad after all.
Please review :) I'd love to know what you think, plus any suggestions for what should happen next?