Rules Rule
61) Never. Ever. Look away from your enemy. Shows weakness.
(Ronon? – McKay)
(Yeah – Ronon)
62) Do not step through the Stargate alone.
a. Because of protocol.
b. And there's also the fact that it's pretty dangerous out there.
63) Don't take longer than 38 minutes to step through the Stargate.
SGA-1 found out that, yes, it is possible to need this amount of time to come through the puddle. If you want the more detailed version of the story - including bugs and a defibrillator - you'll have to ask one of the team-members.
64) There will be no smoking within the walls of Atlantis.
a. Or on the balconies.
b. Or off-world.
c. Just no.
65) It is forbidden to have relationships with people under your command.
(Am I under your command? – Sheppard)
(I'm your boss, yes – Weir)
(Yeah, but technically… - Sheppard)
(Stop making her blush; her red face and her red shirt don't go well together – McKay)
66) You are not to be on medication and duty at the same time,
a. John Sheppard.
67) Don't make Carson cry.
a. It ain't pretty.
(Colonel! – Beckett)
(Doing you a favour, doc. And me, too – Sheppard)
68) Girls poker night is for girls only.
a. The first guy who dares set foot inside the entertainment room again at ladies' poker night will be sent to a deserted moon.
b. As will the second.
c. The third one will be brushing Atlantis' toilets using a toothbrush.
(If it's that time a month for Laura Cadman, you will be using your own toothbrush - Beckett)
69) You can't have Ronon's gun.
a. End of discussion.
b. Period.
c. Deal with it.
70) If it ain't broke; don't fix it.
(Churchill? – Sheppard)
(Bert Lance – Weir)
71) When the city is in lock-down, you are not to move through the city without a Hazmat suit.
a. Even if you are immune, you are to wear a suit.
b. Better safe than sorry.
c. Or dead.
72) Do not remove the crystals of Ancient Technology. Ever.
Dr. Kusanagi once removed the crystal of an Ancient blow-driver. The thing exploded in her face.
Exception nr. 1: You are trying to keep someone from going through the Stargate.
Exception nr. 2: You are trying to open a locked door when there's an evil entity after you.
Exception nr. 3: You are being ordered to do so by Dr. McKay.
73) Do not open windows in the living areas of the city.
a. If you want to breathe in fresh air; by all means, use the balconies.
b. We have a ventilation system, so we probably won't suffocate.
Major Lorne thought it was a good idea to open the window in the Gym. Ronon ended up (accidentally?) pushing Sergeant Jansen through.
74) Always hold your Wraith Stunners upright.
Sergeant Bates once jogged around a corner with a Stunner under his arm. Dr. Biro was unfortunate enough to bump into him.
75) You cannot change the laws of physics.
a. Laws of physics.
b. Laws of physics.
c. You cannot change the laws of physics.
c. Laws of physics, Jim.
( ? – Ronon)
(Star Trek? Seriously? – McKay)
(It's the only way to get through to the geeks – Weir)
(We take offence to that – Dr. Kusanagi)
76) You are not to travel back or forward in time.
a. Unless it's really not your fault.
(You only added that because you did it yourself – Sheppard)
(So did you – Weir)
(I didn't come up with the rule - Sheppard)
(Time travel makes for a lot of paperwork – Weir)
(All right, I'll give you that – Sheppard)
77) Just because the beds are too short doesn't mean that you can complain about it all the time.
a. There's nothing we can do about it.
b. We have short beds, too.
c. We're getting tired of the complaints.
d. And because our beds are too small, we don't get to rest properly.
e. Get the point?
78) If you go off-world, you have to wear the Expedition uniform.
Dr. Dams thought it would be a good idea to wear a bikini to the tropical planet PHB-M99. Our Athosian source recently confirmed that she is now part of Chief Mwalski's harem.
79) No, you can not spell 'Asurans' with scrabble.
a. It's not a real word.
b. And neither is MKH-PXG.
80) Never use plan A.
a. It won't work.
(Nor will plan B – Sheppard)
(Don't scare them – Weir)
TBC...