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Good to see ya, strangahs! -hands you MThere's this lovely lady called Sorryll who is a really good writer. She started writing some brilliant boylove for RE, so I suggest you check her story. She is, after all, the reason I became a rabid RE fangirl. :D Many kudos for Sorryll!

Warnings;Wesker on a rollercoaster. A new comrade! Crackfic! Character death XD This is long again. Sorry. I actually even scratched parts.

Enjoy?

"I don't like standing in line."

"I don't like you standing in line, either. I don't think you should be with us," Krauser muttered at the sight of the still pretty strange man standing next to him. "Why are you here again?"

"I am Luis Sera." Luis replied.

"I said why, not who."

"I've got nothing better to do. Ever since I came back to life things have been boring." Luis smiled at Krauser, hoping to make the other man less annoyed by his presence. "So I thought I'd work for Wesker, because he pays so well."

"Also..." HUNK added. "If only the three of us went, then someone would have to sit alone on the coasters."

Why they were going to a themepark? It was because of that blasted Mr. Sera, who had been so insanely happy about his new job, he had promptly decided to take his new friends out. Not to a bar, which Krauser would've liked, not to a concert, which HUNK would've liked, and not even to the museum of sunglasses, which Wesker would've liked. But to a themepark.

Krauser liked it, he just didn't want to sit next to Luis, because Luis was officially dead. As was Krauser, but that didn't bother the scarred man. He was Krauser after all. But sitting next to a dead man would very probably be bad karma, and Krauser didn't feel like trying his luck with Karma, it had a tendency to bite him in the ass.

"Finally..." Luis mumbled when they reached the entrance. He showed their tickets and entered the park, wondering what to do first. A ferris wheel would be a perfect place to dispose of a staring Krauser, but then again, the man would probably survive a fall like that. He turned to Wesker. "What do you think?"

"I think it would be lovely to go home." Wesker replied with a sneer. "Mr. Sera, I hired you because you are a good researcher, not because I like rollercoasters."

"I'm just trying to be nice..." Luis pouted and curled a strand of hair around his finger, trying to find out whether his charm worked on Wesker too.

He was met with a cold shower. "I don't care about nice, I care about work."

"Rollercoasters." Came Krauser's voice from behind Wesker. "There are coasters, giant wheels, a haunted house, bumper cars and cotton candy, and all you do is moan." He almost sounded angry there. "For once, boss, let go of the whole facade and enjoy yourself."

Wesker turned around and scowled. "If I were you I would keep my mouth shut for the rest of the day, or there'll be hell to pay."

Krauser shrugged and walked off, determined to have a good time. Wesker could be such a hard-ass, but Krauser, and HUNK too actually, both knew he wasn't that bad. He had proven before that he had a sense of humour, so Krauser really wasn't that scared of his boss.

And if there really was hell to pay, he would just do whatever Luis had done and come back to life. It couldn't be that hard, right?

A few seconds later his comrades joined him and they scurried off to wherever. Luis really wanted to make friends, but quickly found out it wasn't that easy. HUNK was being nice to him, in his own strange way anyway, but Krauser and Wesker seemed very distant. Maybe they just needed more time to adjust to the new situation?

"I think this is it." Krauser placed his hands on his hips, scaring away every kid that could see him. He was staring at a small rollercoaster, one that didn't even have a looping.

"That one's for kids." HUNK stated dryly, dreading the thought of having that ride that thing. "If the four of us ride it, nobody else can because we'd be too heavy."

Krauser scratched the back of his head. "So? There's no kids here anyway."

"Because you scared them..."

"Soon you will thank me for having this talent of scaring people away in the blink of an eye." Krauser went up to the small coaster and waited for his friends to arrive. He snickered. "Image what would happen if I showed them my mutant-arm-trick!"

The person that was operating the coaster was kind of shocked when he saw the four standing in front of him. He was so shocked, his jaw dropped and he accidently let the kids on the coaster make another round, just because he forgot to turn the thing off. "Oh my."

"Oh my rollercoaster?" Was Krauser's 'wise' reply. "Is it okay if we go on, too?"

The person nodded, still slightly confused, and finally let the screaming kids out of the metal construction. He pointed at the wagons and Krauser happily sat down in the first one. A bit quiet Luis sat down right behind him, hoping this ride would give him time to bond with the mutant. HUNK sat down in the back while putting his gasmask on out of fear of people recognising him, and Wesker just plopped down in front of HUNK, hoping it would be time to go home soon.

The ride was short and slightly boring. The only one to remotely enjoy himself was Krauser, because his beret almost flew off when they went down. Luis had seen it happen and slapped it back on Krauser's head, almost granting him a punch in the process. Wesker had just sat it out, and when he glanced back, HUNK had completely turned invisible. Or, in other words, the special agent had curled up into a little ball to reduce the chances of anyone seeing him.

"My beret! It almost left my head!" Krauser said when they were safely on the ground again. "It's a good think Mr. Italy hit me!"

"I'm from Spain." Luis said dryly.

"Whatever!" Krauser grabbed Luis' arm and pulled the fellow European along with him. "My beret is very grateful, so I like you... What do we do now?"

"Ferris wheel?" Luis opted. He liked ferris wheels, because they were slow, high, and it took a long time to go all the way round. It would give him a chance to talk to the others, so they might get used to his charming personality.

Krauser nodded. "Ferris wheel it is!"

So they went on the ferris wheel. Slightly cramped up because Wesker, Krauser and HUNK weren't very tiny men, they sat in the cabin, staring outside.

"This isn't too bad..." Wesker stated, enjoying the view. "Don't you agree, Mr. Never Killed?"

HUNK wasn't staring at the scenery, he was staring at his shoes. "I don't know sir, I don't quite like heights."

Wesker glanced to the side and smirked. "You fly planes, for heaven's sake!"

"That's because I'm the only person I can be sure of that will not crash it." Came the quiet reply. "I don't really mind heights, as long as I'm in charge."

"Fair enough." Wesker's lips twitched as if he was going to smile, but he quickly turned it into a grin. He just looked outside again and relaxed. This was something he wouldn't mind doing every once in a while, he liked some time away from the office, and what better way to spend it than by looking at something nice?

"...Because it looks good on me." Krauser was telling Luis about his most beloved possesion, his beret. "Also, I got from my first paycheck while working for Wesker, so it holds like, emotional value."

"Oh, like that." Luis nodded and smiled. "I have that with my underpants."

Krauser giggled and playfully punched Luis. "What colour are they?"

Luis rolled his eyes. "They're green."

"I approve." The scarred man flashed a thumbs-up. "Lucky underpants will save you someday... I bet you weren't wearing them when Saddler killed you."

Luis shook his head. "I wasn't wearing any underwear that day at all, because I needed money and sold them to Mr. Merchant." He sighed. "That wasn't a very wise decision."

Krauser made some understanding noises and cracked a smile. He realized he had just made a friend that has the W-factor aswell... A new friend with the weird-factor, it made Krauser so happy, he threw his hands up in the air, making the cabin shake violently.

"Don't do that again." Came HUNK's voice. "If you do that again, I will kill you."

Krauser just waved at his comrade. "Whatever."

When they were all standing on the ground again, HUNK decided sitting was a much better idea. So he sat down, practically next to the ferris wheel, and didn't move for about five minutes.
Wesker poked him with his shoe, but to no avail. "HUNK, get up."

"When my legs stop shaking." Came the cold reply.

While HUNK was trying regain his composure, Krauser and Luis were fooling around on the grass, trying to stand on their hands. Luis was holding Krauser's boots, keeping the scarred man from falling his on face. "Jack, you're heavy!" Luis panted, nearly landing on his butt himself. "You need to work on your balance!"

"No, you need to lift more weights, you're too pretty for a man anyway!" Came the reply from near Luis' boots. Krauser's arms gave in and he landed on the grass, his face beetred, his scars glowing like a nightlight. "Ahaha, I feel dizzy!"

In the meanwhile HUNK was on his feet again and they decided it was time for a real rollercoaster. One with loopings and sharp turns. They didn't have to stand in line for too long, as Krauser decided to try and scare them away with his mutant-arm-trick. It worked very well, many people ran straight home, forgetting about their babies, cars and stuffed animals.

So now, apart from our heroes, there were only fifteen people left in line who had not fled in fear after witnessing Krauser's favourite trick. This encouraged the Krauser to try out some more pick-up lines. He set off to the alternative-looking woman and smirked. "Lady, why are you going to ride a rollercoaster, when you could be riding me in my bed?"

The lady smirked. "Because I'm pretty sure the coaster will last longer."

Krauser sighed and turned around. "No luck with the ladies, for some reason."

Luis facepalmed and shook his head. "That's not how you do it... This is how." He nodded at the girl and went up to her, a smile plastered on his face. "Hola señorita, what is a fine lady like you doing in a place like this?"

The girl was unimpressed. "Standing in line."

"Ahahaha... Someone with a face like that should be allowed to ignore the line, and hop right in." Luis batted his eyelashes and flipped his hair back. "Right?"

"Someone with a face like yours should not be allowed to hit on someone with a face like mine." Was the casual reply.

Luis turned around with a very annoyed look on his face. "It is impossible, every lady wants the Luis!"

HUNK smirked. "Lemme try." He muttered. In the meanwhile the line was moving along, one more round, and Wesker and pals would be able to ride the coaster. "Heh, got fire?" HUNK threw the girl a quick glance and showed his cigarette. "Can't find mine."

"I don't smoke, smoking will kill you someday." The girl scowled. "Also, kissing a smoker is like kissing a chimney, so no thanks."

HUNK threw her one of his empty looks, the one where his green eyes widen to the size of satellite dishes. According to HUNK he does that when he's trying to read someone's mind with his psychic powers. "But I am Human Unit Never Killed!"

"What?" The girl's eyes narrowedand she turned her back at the quiet TMP-abuser. "Weirdos."

A minute later they met her again, standing in the little gates, waiting for the wagons to arrive. Wesker was standing behind Luis, who was still staring at the girl.

The girl glanced to the side and saw Wesker standing there, not paying any attention to her. She quickly turned her head away and blushed so bad, even her hair turned a little red. When Wesker accidently looked at her, she flashed him a bright smile. "Hi!"

Wesker just frowned and shrugged. It was time to ride the coaster, so he didn't have time for chitchat with random girls. As a matter of fact, Wesker never had time for chitchat with any girls, except Alfred Ashford, but that was only because Alfred kept pretending to be Alexia, therefore fooling Wesker. Wesker smirked, he could use the time on the coaster to think of a way to once again dispose of Alfred.
It was his biggest hobby, after going to the museum of sunglasses.

The guys sat in the coaster and pulled harnesses down. HUNK grabbed Jack's hand. "Dude, this one's high!" Then let go of the hand again. "Dude, don't hold my hand!" The coaster started to move, making scary screeching noises. HUNK grabbed Jack's hand again. "Dude! This is high!" And let go once again. "Stop grabbing my hand, dumbass!"

Jack stared at HUNK and scratched the back of his head. "Make up your mind. As long as you don't want to hold my foot, everything's fine." He placed a hand on his beret to prevent it from falling off. "Haha, this is fun!"

In the seats in front of them were Luis and Wesker. Luis was singing a song and Wesker was pressing his hands against his ears to prevent himself from going deaf.

Slowly the coaster made its way up the hill.

"Dance with the dead in my dreams, listen to their hallowed screams!" Luis sang loudly.

Some people grabbed their harness, others giggled, and HUNK was trying to figure out how to open his eyes again.

"So long, and goodbye! So long, and goodbye!" Luis switched to another song.

They were nearing the top of the hill, the point where everyone gets all nutty and starts screaming, even though they're not even speeding up or going down yet.

"Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door, yeah, yeah, yeah..." Luis' voice was heard through the park.

It was on that fateful moment that Luis' harness for some reason went up again, and Luis was sitting on the coaster, completely unprotected. Luis gasped. "No! I didn't mean it! No!"

The coaster swooshed down and many people started screaming, even though nobody else's harness had gotten loose in the process. Luis was desperately holding on to Wesker's hand while they were about to go into the looping. Wesker was giggling his ass off, because from his point of view, the flying Luis looked hilarious. Then Luis just couldn't hold on anymore and let go of Wesker's hand. He bumped into the wagon, into the steel of the coaster and landed on the ground.

"Oh my God!" Krauser screamed while holding HUNK's hand and his beret. They sat out the rest of the ride in silence, mourning their new comrade and thinking of more ways to kill Alfred Ashford.

When they reached the place where Luis had landed, they did not find his mangled corpse. Instead they found him in one piece, licking an icecream.

"Haha, I got luck on my side!" Luis said when his comrades were staring at him with open mouths. He pushed his icecream into Krauser's piehole. "Taste that!"

HUNK smirked and tried to do a back-flip out of sheer happiness, but he wasn't very balanced and landed on his ass. For some reason the landing triggered his gun Matilda, and the bullets sifted through Luis' chest, making the Spaniard sink down to the ground.

"Oh my God!" Krauser screamed again. "This can not be happening!"

Luis suddenly started to move and sat up. "Haha, I appear to be a Spanish Unit Never Killed, or SUNK if you want." He turned around when he heard a familiar voice behind him and started to wave. "Hey, it's you amigo!"

Leon S. Kennedy saw Luis wave and ran up to his favourite Spaniard. He tackled him and hugged him tightly. "Luis, it's you, it's really you!" Leon smirked and patted Luis on the head. "I missed you, you pervy ol' bastard."

"I missed you too amigo!" Luis got back on his feet and smiled. "Hey guys, this is Leon! He's my amigo!"

Leon turned to face Luis' friends and was met with the barrel of a shotgun. "Leon." Krauser sounded cold as he aimed the shotgun at his former comrade. "It's time." One pull of the trigger later Leon was on the ground with a bleeding hole in his head. "Goodbye, comrade."

Luis' eyes watered and he sat down next to Leon to ruffle the agent's blond hair. "Oh boy, oh boy..." He sobbed. "LEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNN!"

Krauser, Wesker and HUNK decided it was time to go home. "It's okay, he'll come back to life." Wesker stated dryly, glancing behind him to see Luis still bent over Leon's lifeless body. "We all do."

"True." HUNK said. "Except for me, I'm the only one around that's never gotten killed yet." He looked at Jack who was walking beside him. "Where'd that shotgun came from all of the sudden?"

"I bet he pulled it out of his behind." Wesker answered for Jack.

HUNK frowned and put his gasmask back on. "But wouldn't that make it a shitgun?"

They all laughed and sat down in the car. Everything was fine. Leon would come back to live, he would very probably marry Luis and they would raise some sexy emo children.

That is, after all, the meaning of life.

The end of chapter 4.
(Now go forth and multiply.)

Leon x Luis. Like it? Then go read Sorryll's new fic, you will not be disappointed :D WHEEEE!

Oh yeah. If you liked this, please review. :)
Flamers will be assassinated by HUNK's back-flip. :D