Disclaimer: I own what's mine.

Rachel Getting Married?

Chapter 4: The Other Side of the Door

I never knew a two minute walk to CVS to my apartment would feel like 24 hours. I didn't even bother carrying anything to the store besides my Amex and keys, and later realized that I forgot my CVS membership card. I didn't care. I ran to the second aisle and looked for pregnancy tests. I wanted to find out the common cause of all these changes to my body and mental health: sudden cravings, morning sickness, nausea, and swelling of my breasts. Plus, I missed my period. It's been two weeks. When I saw at least ten different types and brands of pregnancy tests, I picked one of each and stacked them in my shopping basket. When I was about to pay, the cashier gave me a funny look and told me that she wishes me good luck. I gave her an awkward smile and exited with two plastic bags full of pregnancy tests.

As soon as I got home, I rummaged through the covers and found a small plastic cup Alex used to drink beer from. I ran to the bathroom with two plastic bags and a carton of Tropicana, and started to take out all the pregnancy tests from the boxes. While drinking, I skimmed through all the intructions, saying that two lines, POSITIVE, smiley faces, CONGRATULATIONS!, and YES meant that I was preggers. I chugged the orange juice and felt sudden trepidation and excitement as I had to pee. Many thoughts sweeped over my mind, such as what if Alex wasn't ready for this? What about my mother? I urinated in the small red plastic cup, and started to dip the pregnancy tests into the cup. When I was done dipping, I put the caps back on, and put them aside. All I could do was wait and see.

A few minutes later, I got up from the gelid tile floor, and held up the test. The first one had two pink lines. The second one said, 'POSITIVE' in capital letters. The third one said, 'CONGRATULATIONS!'. The fourth one had a smiley face. The last one simply said, 'YES'. I dropped the fifth test on the floor and tried to fight back the tears of trepidation, anxiety, and joy.

I was pregnant.

When I got home with two full grocery bags, I couldn't believe I had been living in this mess for months. There were empty and half-empty wine bottles on the floor, unwashed sweaters and shirts on the couch, moldy brie cheese in the fridge, dying plants in the balcony, and fifteen unchecked voice mails. Oh, and probably about 50 mails in my mailbox which I haven't checked. Great. I had called Lily about an hour ago if she wanted to come over for dinner. Well, I was never much of a cook, and often relied on her mediocre cooking skills. If not, we ordered Thai or Chinese. Sometimes tacos. She gladly agreed while complaining about how hungover she was from last night.

Before unpacking the groceries, I had one thing in mind: clean this damn place. I put my purse on the kitchen counter (the usual spot) and hung up my stained coat. Shortly after, I began to put all the clothes lying around into my laundry basket. Some of them needed to be dry cleaned, but I didn't have enough time to sort those out. Then, I grabbed the recycling bin and dumped all the empty bottles into it. All the half-empty ones went back into my liquor cabinet and fridge. There were not so many dishes in the sink because I barely ate at home. I always had a granola bar in the morning, had lunch at work, and mostly skipped dinner or ate finger foods at galas and runway after parties. I was invited to a gala or some sort of a social event about four times a week (some of them were mandatory as Steve urged me to attend all of them to represent Steve Macmillan), so I only went for an hour maximum, and returned drunk or full. Sometimes both. After cleaning, I felt much better. I only had to put the groceries into the fridge, and then I was done. Before I started unpacking, it was time for me to check all the voice mails. The first one dated back to last week.

"Helllllllo? Liv? Please pick up. It's urgent!" That was Rachel.

"Missy, you're late. Again. Before you come to work, get the Look-Book from Susannah. Urgh." That was quite obvious: Steve.

"It's your mother, Olivia. Are you coming down for Halloween? Or for your long weekend? Jeffery's kids miss you so much, and they were wondering if...Linda, take the dog out! Now! Oops, sorry that was Linda. My housekeeper. Anyway, they were wondering if you wanted to dress up as a Powerpuff Girl. They're missing one character or something and they need a brunette. If you can't make it for whatever reason you have, come for Thanksgiving. That will be great and call your dad as well. It will show some respect for your father. I love you and miss you. Bye." Oh god, mothers were disasters.

"Come to my place. Now. I'm going through crisis!" That was Lily, and she called me because her boyfriend left for Aruba, and some girl picked up his cell. Yep.

"Hey, it's Mike. I...um, remember giving you my card but you never called. Um...I got your home number from Steve...I hope, um that was okay with you. Would you be able to meet for breakfast? Brunch? Lunch? Dinner? Dessert? Walk in the park? Drinks at my place? Please call me back. The number is 810-923-4725. Bye." That was nobody. Well, just a guy I met through Steve as he insisted on dating a guy. He was a complete catastrophe and I remember him as the 'Um Guy'.

"Olivia, don't forget to attend that interview with Vanity Fair. And tell them that the black, lacy push-ups by Alexis are the best!" Steve. Again.

"Do you ever check your phone? Your cell phone's dead. Or you gave me the wrong number so I won't bug you. Jeffery's kids are so sad right now because they think that you won't come over for Halloween. They're crying their eyes out for Christ's sake! Please, call Jeffery. He's your brother for god's sake! Oh, and Karen was asking for free samples from your company. I sure you can manage that?" Mother. Again.

"Livvvvvvvv! Oh my god, this guy totally wants to hook up with me! He's hot, six foot, works out three times a week, and he's a photographer! Can I take him to your place because I don't want my roommate to wake up. Pretty please? It's my only chance!" That was Sadie. My intern at work. What the fuck? Whore.

"Oh, hello? Hello? Helllllllo? Marky Spanky are you there? Man, pick up! Dude, bring some- Oh...shit!" This guy definitely got a wrong numero.

"Liv, just in case you don't check your mailbox, I left two VIP tickets to the Mercedes Fashion Week. I hope you can come too! Love you and have a great day." Katie. I absolutely adore her for her generosity.

After checking most of my voice mails, I had one thing in mind: Take care of my business. My mother was worried that I won't be able to be a Powerpuff Girl with two of my nieces-Kiley and Ceci- and definitely wanted me to visit. She lived in Fort Lauderdale, so it wasn't such a bad idea to enjoy its warm weather and beaches. So, I decided to email her (which was easier since I didn't have to listen to her scream) in about two hours. When Lily's gone. Oh, and I should tell Sadie, an intern who just graduated from Syracuse, that it is inappropriate to ask me if it were all right to bring a stranger into my place and fuck on my bed. Other than her promiscuous behavior, she was a sweet girl who wanted to learn more about marketing. All of a sudden, I heard a loud knock on the door.

"Coming!" I yelled. When it opened, I saw Lily with two bottles of Pinot and a bag of Thai food. This girl really knew how to celebrate for no special reason.

"Liv! How was your day?"

"Awful. My eyes were puffy all morning, suffered from intense migraine, and oh did I tell you I ran into this asshole at Starbucks?" I said. I was still pissed about my coat.

"What asshole?" She asked and unpacked the take-out.

"Some guy. He looked familiar though. Anyway, he cut in front of me and I had been waiting for at least twenty minutes. And, he intentionally elbowed me and I got my latte all over my sleeve."

"That's terrible! What a jerk. Was he hot?" She asked. Lily, out of all my friends, had the most shallow outlook on the world.

"He was...okay."

"I know that look! It means that he was smoking hot. Too bad all the hot ones are either taken, gay, or assholes." She said. "What happened to all the wine glasses?"

"Oh, we shouldn't be drinking tonight."

"What? Okay, one glass won't hurt. It's just one glass. Plus, I don't want to drink alone." She complained. I took a box of Pad Thai and a pair of chopsticks.

"Yeah, but I'm trying to stay sober. I've been drinking too much lately and gaining weight." I said. To be honest, I didn't gain a lot of weight. Maybe about three or four pounds.

"You're still skinny! Well, not model skinny. But standard skinny. It's only your boobs that make you look bigger than yourself. Oh, and did I mention your ass?" She said.

"Lils, pour yourself a glass and I'll watch."

"Fine. You know you'll give in soon. Like in about two days." She teased. "You should make a list of things you should change."

"You mean like new year's resolutions?" I took a bite of this hot-off-the-pan Thai delicacy. It was delicious.

"Yeah, sort of." She poured herself a glass of pinot.

"Fine, I'll make one right now." I took a piece of paper from the kitchen counter and a pen from my purse. "Number one, do not drink excessively. NO BINGE DRINKING. Drink moderately."

"That's a good one." She nodded.

"Number two, control my temper. Do not yell or cause a scene in public areas."

"Uh-huh."

"Number three, lose five pounds." I continued writing down neatly.

"That's going to be hard, but okay."

"Thanks for your support-" I said sardonically. "Number four, call my mother once a week."

"Are you sure you want that? You never talk to her. Like, ever! I thought she was evil."

"I know, that's why I'm going to 'try' to call." I said. "Number five, don't be late for work."

"That's going to be easy because you won't be hungover. Ever again." She giggled.

"True. I think that's about it." I said.

"Uh-huh! No, you're missing one." She paused. "Be nice to any men who approach you. Appreciate them."

"I don't have to be nice to every guy I meet. Plus, that asshole from Starbucks is on my 'No-Respect-Whatsoever' list." I said and took a cold bottle of San Pellegrino from the fridge.

"Fine. Be nice to guys who aren't assholes."

"That's better." I said. I held up the list and posted it on my fridge. It was something like this:

1. No binge drinking

2. Control my short temper

3. Shed five pounds

4. Try to call my mother once a week

5. Don't be late for work

6. Say yes to men (except for assholes like the Starbucks guy)

7. Get my shit together

"Oh, Liv did you hear about that model rapist?" Lily said as she finished her first glass.

"Yes. I actually knew Tracy, you know the girl that got killed."

"How tragic! I was so scared when I heard about that! It's now confirmed that she had been tortured and raped several times! With like a metal or something because they found copper bits in her vagina."

"Okay, Lils stop. That's disturbing and we're eating." I frowned.

"I know, but I'm so scared. I have to come back from work with you from now on."

"Fine. I hope Batman does something about it." I reassured her that things will sort out. Hopefully. "Oh, and I have to tell you something about Rachel's wedding."

"Oh god, does she want the bachelorette party at the courthouse?" She laughed and took a huge bite of her sweet pork and rice.

"Um, actually she doesn't want a bachelorette party-"

"What? What the fuck? Are you kidding me?" I nodded and she gulped down her wine. "I can't fucking believe that! I mean, the only reason I'm wearing that ugly bridesmaid dress is because you're my best friend and we were going to organize a kick-ass party!"

"I know, I know Lils. Rachel doesn't want it because she wants to stay faithful-"

"Faithful my ass!" She bellowed. I didn't know she was going to be this ticked off by Rachel's unexpected decision.

"But, she said we can go to Harvey's bachelor party." I said. Lily's eyes instantly lit up.

"What? Really? Oh wait, the guys won't want that. Unless we strip."

"Oh god, Lils. We'll go for drinks all together or something."

"Are you sure they wouldn't want to go to a strip joint? Or a gentlemen's club? I don't think they'd want to hang out with us." She asked timidly.

"I'll make sure that doesn't happen. I got this." She nodded like a little girl and went back to savoring her food and wine.

What are friends for, right?

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