Acting out of habit Shelagh moved towards the chapel to gather with the nuns. She realized her mistake yet was waved inside not by Sister Julienne but by Sister Evangelina. Shelagh sat in the congregation row and sang with the nuns. Her voice adding to the richness of the other women. It felt good to sing again, it felt good to be with her sisters again. The rotund nun gave her a wink and Shelagh thought of the last time she had showed her such kindness.

After she had signed her papers discharging her from the sisterhood she went to her old cell. It was her intent to clear it out, Sister Evangelina had seen her in the doorway.

"What are you doing?" Evangelina's voice demanded.

"Sister, I'm clearing out this room so it can be used." Shelagh said a little sheepishly.

Sister Evangelina cocked her head, "You are a nurse are you not?"

"Yes sister" Shelagh muttered.

"Then this is still your room and as far as we're concerned it will be your room until the day you die."

Once again the young woman found herself crying in the arms of her fellow sister. Sister Julienne had been correct Nonnatus would always be a home to her.

After prayers Shelagh went into the common area. Jane was working silently but there was a smile on her face. Shelagh could see an envelope sticking out of one of her pockets. No doubt it was a letter from the Revered Appleby-Thornton. Only his letters made her smile like that. Noticing her Jane straightened and dug into her other pocket, "Letter for you."

"Thank you Jane" Shelagh said thoughtfully. She moved through the kitchen to the side door that led to the garden. She sat in her usual spot and carefully opened the letter.

My lover,

I feel alive in way that I have not felt in sometime. It's as though everything is new again. I often try to think about the wilderness as you described it. For you it was the Sanatorium, you were able to transmute your illness into the will to actually live. Believe it or not for me my wilderness was my car. Even before her death I spent so much time in that car. Always going away from my family in it Then when she died I would sit in the car thinking of all the time I had wasted in it. Then you rang from the sanatorium and I went to the car determined to find you. Timothy was there too hanging out of the window looking for you as the mists rolled in. Then last night I picked you up from Nonnatus and as I parked the car in the darkened drive you pulled me into the back seat. I have never seen anything as exotic as your bare skin on the dark leather of the MG. I found my tie this morning as it had gotten stuck under the drivers seat. I thought I was too old to maneuver in the tiny space of the back but you solved that problem. So graceful, you could have been a ballerina you know. Those slender legs of yours so flexible as you sat astride me. I overheard lads in medical school talking about steamy windows but the other night was the first time I had ever experienced it.

I hope I didn't hurt you when I pulled on your hair. I love it when it's down and I love it that you wear it down for me. It falls like a curtain when we make love so it seems that we are the only two in the universe. Having you be in control was one of the erotic things I have ever experienced. Your sighs, your moans and your lustful wail are seared into my mind. I noticed you left the house wearing a higher collared cardigan over your uniform this morning, I couldn't help it when you threw back your head in pleasure, your neck was begging to be marked and I couldn't deny it. The taste of your skin I can't get enough of it. As I pen this message I want you now, I want you beneath me, on top of me, anyway you wish. As I got into that MG with the number plate of BSL-381 I remembered that it has brought me Timothy and it brought me to you. By the way your scent seems to be mingled in with the leather.

~Your lover

In the garden Shelagh ran a finger on the collar of her cardigan. She thought she could feel the mark underneath the fabric. Folding up the letter she reverently put it in her pocket. Tonight she would put it with all the others she had kept. Next to her bedside she had framed the picture Timothy had drawn of them, back when she was known as Sister Bernadette. She didn't feel any regret on her past life. In fact she took a moment to praise God for his wisdom in his placing her at Nonnatus House. While mortals might not understand it, God's timing was always perfect.