If He Stays

by Servant of Fire

Tag to "I Think I'm Gonna Like It Here" Sam completes the Trials. The angels fall out of heaven and land in Hell where the doors are slammed shut. Because of this, no one is left to lift Sam from his coma. Except for a choice Death gives the younger Winchester. Parody of the YA novel If I Stay

4. Chapter 4

The Highway to Heaven

It always confuses him when he sees himself on this road. After all that he's done or failed to do, he should be the last person they let wander down this path, right? Yet somehow Sam Winchester is on the highway to heaven again.

He only knows that when he hears excited barking. He feels his ears prick with happiness. He'd know those barks anywhere.

"Bones!" This time there's no one here to get angry or to misunderstand. Sam can just be happy to be here with his dog. The excited pup darts out from behind a tree and runs to Sam.

"Bones! Heya, boy! C'mere!" Sam hits his knees and slides a home run to the dog as he licks his face repeatedly. A thrill goes through Sam's spirit and he lays his face in the dog's hair. It's warm here on the road to heaven. It's only getting warmer…He can smell the kitchen. The kitchen in the home he never lived in_not even once. His mother...His mother who he never got to meet will be up that way. So will Jess, he realizes. He smiles the thought dancing before his eyes like a birthday candle's wishes for a second.

I'm not ready to give you up!

"Charlie?" Sam leans up. He feels Bones burrow his nose into his chest. The dog hasn't heard Charlie's voice. He's just happy to see his young master again.

"I don't...I don't wanna go back yet?" Sam feels his heart sinking. He loves Charlie and listening to her sadness makes him want to cry. And yet….Yet he can't just tear himself away from the warm call that the road to heaven is offering him. The smell of Thanksgivings and the promise of having the crusts cut off his bread for the first time...It's almost too much.

Please don't go yet, Sam… Not yet...I'm not ready. Dean's not ready either.

Dean.

Sam hesitates for a moment. He stands up looking sadly into Bones' eyes.

"I don't...I don't know what to do?" Sam looks to the dog's sad eyes for guidance, but he can't decide for him. The choice has got to be Sam's...And for the first time this choice is next to impossible to make. Because for the first time he has an equal desire to live as he does to die.