Chapter 4

As Callie slid into her sleeveless black dress in preparation for Alex & Izzie's wedding, a lopsided smile graced her lips. So much had changed since she met Arizona. She felt genuinely happy and contented, and for the first time her affection was returned in earnest. She believed she and Arizona had a strong foundation and she was excited to see where things might go. They had taken things slowly when it came to their physical relationship, but it was not easy holding back. This was actually another first for Callie. She wanted Arizona on an almost primal level, and it scared her how much. With other people, sex had always been fun and or exploratory, but this level of want had her fantasizing about Arizona in various states of undress at very inappropriate and inconvenient times.

This wasn't a sense of needing to get it right after things deteriorated so quickly with Erica; this was a driving need for one specific person, a desire like she'd never felt before. To be loved and explored, to open herself and be allowed to discover every beautiful inch of Arizona Robbins, the woman she had come to love. She knew it to be true, though they hadn't said it precisely, and for a while she wondered if somewhere along the line they'd tacitly agreed to wait to make love until they did utter the words. She hoped not. The waiting was downright painful, and the words would come when they were ready to put voice to what they already knew they felt.

Just days ago, Callie thought they both felt they were ready to move their relationship forward. She was really looking forward to their big date night, hoping for a nice meal at home, candles, music, and a major make-out session. And if all went well as she expected it would, they'd forgo they're usual pattern of hitting the brakes once things got to the point of combustion.

But when Callie came to Arizona's apartment, the blonde excitedly grabbed her by the arm, headed them out the door, escorted her to the "shot-gun" position of her car, and drove her to Chez Henri, a 4-star restaurant in the heart of Seattle's most affluent area. Callie's heart sank, and what was going to be a wonderful night suddenly became an evening of wondering how little she could eat and still seem like a sane person on a dinner date. Her stomach was in knots, so keeping to a salad wasn't especially difficult. But the discomfort tainted the evening, and after a night of uncharacteristically awkward silence and tension between them, Callie claimed to be exhausted and pleaded with a confused Arizona to take her home just after the bill arrived.

At that point, Callie's pride nearly allowed her to let Arizona walk out of her life. Rather than tell her what the problem was, she let Arizona believe their relationship might have simply run its course. She hated doing it, but her knee-jerk reaction was to avoid leaving herself vulnerable again or confiding in anyone. But the truth was, with Arizona she wanted to be open. More than anything, she wanted to let Arizona in, to tell her the things that really scared her; to tell her all the dreams she had for the future. Callie was far more comfortable presenting herself as the hard-core, kick-ass bone-breaker, and she exuded confidence in most situations, whether she truly felt confident or not. She didn't enjoy being exposed or seeming weak in any way, and she was pretty sure Arizona wouldn't exactly find "able to afford only ramen noodles and oatmeal" an attractive attribute at this stage of the game. When the conversation did come, it rushed over Callie like a tidal wave.

"Do you know what I was doing before they brought over the check?" Callie asked. "I was counting in my head, trying to figure out how I was going to buy food for the rest of the week if my half was $75, because I don't have $75, because my father disowned me and has cleared out my bank account. I am broke and I am exhausted, Arizona. I'm working in the ER because I need the money. Six people died on my watch today and I am fried. I wanted to stay in last night. I thought…I thought that last night would be the night for us. You know? Our night. But you wanted to go to a fancy restaurant. I can't do that. I can't," Callie concluded through tears.

"It's okay. It's okay. Hey, so, we'll stay in, and we'll eat sandwiches," came the compassionate, nearly whispered reply. Arizona held Callie's hands tenderly.

"You don't even like sandwiches," Callie countered.

"But, I like the girl who has the sandwiches. Okay?" said Arizona.

"Okay," Callie said, appreciatively.

But Callie's mind was reeling. She was tired of settling, and tired of not being honest with herself, whether it was regarding a partner or a meal. Arizona meant too much to her not to forge ahead, or to let things go unsaid, even if they were little things.

"Wait. No. You know what?" Callie added. "I don't like sandwiches either. I like pizza," she said with a playfully defiant tone.

"I like pizza too," replied Arizona, her hands caressing Callie's. "From now on, something's wrong, you talk to me, okay?"

"Talking's good. I can do that. Or really try to. Promise. Um, Arizona?"

"Yes, Sweetie."

Callie had a visceral reaction to the nickname. It felt like her heart lifted just a bit inside her chest. "In the interest of communication and all, uh, I have to tell you a couple of things," she said.

"Oh. Okay," Arizona replied cautiously.

"First, and most importantly, you're driving me crazy," Callie blurted.

"What?" Arizona asked. She wondered if she'd blown it with the expensive dinner after all.

"You've made me nearly certifiable. You've gotta know how hard it is to pull back. I'm not great at delayed gratification anyway, and frankly I've had my share of cold showers and dates with my battery-operated BFF after you and I part ways," she stated frankly.

Arizona chuckled at the last sentence, completely relieved. Truth told, she'd have to plead the 5th Amendment if asked to testify whether she'd done the exact same thing.

"I want to be with you. Really with you. Can we, um, do you…I mean, could we -. Do you want -" Callie stumbled.

"Calliope," Arizona mercifully interjected. "You have to know that you're the most desirable woman I've ever met. I'm embarrassed to admit how often I daydream about taking your clothes off piece by piece. And really, that's not even accurate because sometimes they just go 'POOF!' and disappear all at once 'cause hey, it's my daydream and I get to make the rules." Arizona could babble with the best of 'em.

At those words, the brightness of Callie's smile could challenge the fullest moon on the darkest night. "I like the way your mind works. So the next time it feels right for both of us, will you stay over? Stay the night with me?" Callie asked.

"Just try to stop me," Arizona replied. There was a brief pause. "Wait, what's the second thing?"

"Oh yeah. Well, I like pizza, but I love calzone," Callie said with a smile.

"Me too! They're amazing when they're fresh, hot, and juicy," Arizona replied excitedly. There was a pause as they both considered the last three words. "Hey, kinda like us," Arizona added with a waggle of her brows. "Come to think of it, 'cal-zone' sort of sounds like a combination of our names. I never thought of that before."

The brunette laughed. "I can see it now – we've got McDreamy, McSteamy, and Calzone. Seems a little off, though. There's got to be another way to combine our names. Maybe you should come first," Callie considered aloud.

"Maybe, but that remains to be seen," Arizona saucily replied, her voice dipping an octave.

"Oh my god," Callie said through a magnificent smile. She cleared her throat and struggled to bring her mind back to the topic at hand after pondering the double entendre. "Wow. Uh, what I meant was, the name's not quite right. Needs more of you. Ooooh, I got it. 'Calzona.' Oh yeah, just wait; someone will have that buzzing around the nurse's station and everyone'll be calling us that before you know it," she said with a laugh.

"I think it's kind of cute," Arizona said. "And it beats the heck out of being called 'Ariz-iope,'" she joked.

Her gaze lingered on the soft brown eyes that held her future in their expanse. "And yes, Calliope…I definitely think you should come first," she added wickedly.