Chapter 4: Castiel's Offer

It was really boring watching the group of three eat in that store. They seemed to be taking their time and were talking quite animatedly about god knows what. Dean seemed a lot more relaxed and kept rolling his eyes at a confused looking Castiel. Sam was pretty much ecstatic with being able to hang out with the cool older kids. (That was sarcasm, by the way. Neither Dean or Castiel were even remotely cool.)

I hovered around the door outside the shop and walked around a bit so I wouldn't look too suspicious. When would they get out already?

The sun had completely deserted us at last and I saw the moon peeking out over one of those taller trees surrounding the store. It emitted a faint white glow that provided the tiniest bit of light. But, the weakly lit streetlamps bypassed its shine by far. A small breeze rustled the leaves on the trees which whisked through my hair and slammed against my skin. I shivered.

Hurry up already, idiots! I thought to myself, getting irritated.

I took a moment to acknowledge that it was full before I finally noticed a series of movements from within the McDonalds. My pulse quickened. Were they finally going to get out?

My predictions were accurate. Sam quickly tossed the wrappers that they left behind from their sandwiches into the trash while Dean tugged his leather jacket on. That clueless Castiel just stood up and gazed awkwardly around. He didn't even take off his overcoat when it probably was stiflingly hot in that disgusting restaurant. That one in particular must have had a huge heat bill because they believed the normal temperature a human should live in was 102°F.

I couldn't be seen by any of them yet, so I quickly darted to the side of the store. I pushed myself up against a small slab of bricks attached to the building that was not punctured by a window and waited.

Waited. Waited. Waited.

I was so tired of waiting for those parasitic, slug-like creatures who called themselves Sam, Dean, and Castiel and I nearly lost my patience a few times and threw my knife at them.

Once they finally stepped outside into the darkness, I exposed myself somewhat into the light, since they had their backs to me anyway. I waited a few more seconds so that they wouldn't hear me once I began stalking them, and then began walking.

"Hey, Cas, you wanna come over or something?" Dean asked Castiel. "It's still not late. Dad wouldn't mind."

Crap, I thought. Say no…say no…come on, say no…

After a moment of consideration and a great deal of pleading from my end, Castiel slowly said, "Hmm, no. I'm supposed to be home after dark, Dean. I will see you tomorrow."

"You sure?" Sam asked sadly.

"Yes," Castiel decided, stopping where the roads parted into separate paths. "Goodbye, Sam and Dean."

"Bye, Cas," I heard Sam and Dean echo one another.

Before Castiel turned around, Sam quickly called back, "You have your gun, right? It's pretty dangerous out here at night."

"Damn straight," Dean agreed.

"Of course," Castiel replied with a curt nod.

Yes! I felt like dancing.

I think.

They parted with one last farewell, the Winchester pair going one way, and Castiel departing the other way. I felt a smirk cross my face as I sauntered after Castiel, making my footsteps as quiet as possible.

The street was deserted, as was the sidewalk. I mean, this was a pretty crappy part of the neighborhood, so most people avoided it. But I found it pretty astonishing that I didn't see one person or car in sight. It usually wasn't this empty.

God is looking over me today, I thought sarcastically. He supports my decision. I stifled a laugh. There was no god as far as I was concerned.

Though, the emptiness was extremely lucky for me, anyway, almost unnaturally so. Everything today seemed to fit together like a jigsaw puzzle for a kindergartener. It was just too easy.

The streetlamps here were weakly flickering as Castiel moved swiftly across the light that illuminated the sidewalk, trench coat fluttering behind him. His shadow was elongated so much by the lights that it nearly touched my feet.

I hastened by walk so that I was in his shadow.

There was no need for secrecy now. This road led to the dumpster if you didn't turn left at the last moment, and there would be no houses around here. Well, hardly any, since living next to a smelly garbage deposit was not exactly the ideal image for a dream home, was it?

No one would be able to witness my theft. Great for me.

I finally let my footsteps be heard.

Castiel stopped walking.

I stopped walking.

I put my hand to the pocket where I kept my switchblade.

Excitement began to light up in my stomach.

Castiel walked a few paces.

I walked a few paces.

We both stopped at the same time.

"I know it's you, Meg," Castiel said.

I blinked in surprise.

For a moment, I wasn't able to say anything. How could he have known? Did he see me?

Whatever. That didn't change anything.

"Hello Castiel," I said offhandedly. "What's up?"

"Why are you here?" Castiel wasted no time. He turned around to face me, his permanently narrowed eyes glaring at me, trying to figure me out.

"I just thought I'd say hi," I said, repeating my words from earlier.

Castiel didn't fall for it this time.

"What do you want?"

"Just a little chat," I replied.

"Okay," he paused. "I'm listening. What do you want to chat about?"

"Stuff."

"Stuff?"

"Yeah, stuff, Castiel."

I moved a bit closer to him. He did not move back. I recalled all the times we met up with each other as I moved.

We would always stare for a moment.

Just look into each other face as we passed by in the hallways. As we passed by on the streets. As we passed by as enemies. As I beat up his friends.

And he would always look at me in that way I could never figure out, as he was doing now.

"What do you want?" he repeated.

I stepped even closer to him.

"I already told you, didn't I?"

"No."

"Come on, Castiel, you heard me."

He allowed me to come directly in front of him, so our faces were about a foot apart. He did not back away. His expression did not change.

The gun was so close to me now. So close. I could just reach in his coat and grab it.

I hadn't thought this through well enough.

How would I reach him in time?

And then, the perfect distraction came to me. It came to me so suddenly that it even impressed (and honestly scared) me that I would consider doing it.

But, it was the only way to get the gun.

In one swift movement I had him pressed against the wall.

And I was kissing him.

It felt warm.

For a moment, Castiel didn't move at all. I had distracted him, just as I planned. My hands were working their way into his trench coat where the gun would be. But then, my mind went blank. I had forgotten what I was doing this for.

I had forgotten that I felt nothing for him.

My arms wrapped against Castiel's body instead, pulling him closer.

It felt good.

He was kissing back.

We stood there in the weak ray of light that the streetlamp provided. For that moment, no matter how cheesy-love story material this sounds, nothing existed except us.

What are you doing? My mind tried to wake me up. I wasn't like this. What was I doing? Was I actually enjoying this?

I broke away from the kiss.

I looked up at him, watching his eyes meet mine. I didn't want to, but I was grinning at him, and it wasn't a forced grin. He then, to my astonishment, grabbed my shoulders and whirled me around. And then he was kissing me again. His hand pulled against my head and around my lower back. I didn't think of what I was doing and pulled my fingers against the back of his trench coat again.

It felt really, really good.

And then we broke apart again.

I looked at him slyly, pressed up against the wall.

"What was that?" I asked him, my smirk pulling against my cheeks.

He didn't reply immediately. His glare once again was on me, though his expression seemed to soften. His eyes no longer contained the loathing they seemed to previously when he looked at me.

"Why'd you kiss me back?" I asked him, still dazed.

"Because," he paused, seeming to be searching for words. "I've had my eye on you and I wanted to give you a chance."

"A chance?" I asked him, feeling the heat of his hands on my shoulders.

"Yes. A chance," he echoed. "A chance to change."

It was impossible to tell what he was thinking. For a moment, I became silent. The gravity of the situation hadn't hit me yet, and my only concern was Castiel.

"Change?" I said. "Change? What do you mean, sugar pants?"

He then broke away from me completely, stepping back. I quickly regained my footing and stepped away from the wall as well.

His next words sounded regretful. "Why are you in the gang, Meg?"

"Why am I in the gang?" I echoed, raising my eyebrow slightly.

"Yes, that's what I just asked," Castiel replied, his tone suddenly more businesslike.

I looked at him. Wasn't it obvious?

"Because the world is going to the dogs," I said and my voice sounded exasperated. "Every man on his own, and all. It's a dangerous world out there, Cas, without friends. So, I went and got some."

Castiel looked back to me. "Why are you hurting people?"

Somehow, I had my answers ready the moment the questions were asked. "Because I'm fighting for my gang."

"Why are you fighting for your gang?"

"Because they are the only ones who understand."

"The only ones who understand what?"

"How it is, Castiel. The world."

"I don't think they do."

I paused. I shook my head. "Castiel, you don't understand anything. You live a nice, comfortable life, don't you? Always goody good, everything is set in stone for you isn't it, angel cake? You've got your rules and your purpose; you know what you're supposed to be doing, don't you? You know why you're alive. You know your cause."

Words failed Castiel for a moment. "Well…"

"I don't have a cause like that. I didn't have a reason to get up in the morning. To what would I be getting up? What for?" I said. "My compassionate parents?" That was sarcasm. "The loving teachers?" Sarcasm. "For my shithole life?"

"For a brighter future," Castiel said in a heartbeat. "To be able to find a cause."

"And so I found my cause, Castiel," I told him. "My cause is with my gang. You see? It all works out. I get a reason to live and I have people who depend on me… at the price of other's pain. Maybe I want to show them the real world outside their white picket fence."

"Why would you want to do that?" was his response.

"You're so nosy, aren't you?"

"Maybe I am."

I had nothing to say to that.

"The Demons gang are not your friends, Meg," Castiel said in a quiet tone. "If it benefitted them, they would kill you. They would kill you the moment you are no longer necessary."

"But I am very necessary, I kick ass like a maniac. They would never not need me," I said.

"But you're okay with this? Knowing that they would trade you in for a few dollars, for example?" Castiel asked.

"I have no other choice," I said.

"You do have a choice," Castiel countered. "You always have a choice."

I bit my lip inside my mouth. Why was I listening to him? I needed to get the gun from him already. I needed to leave and go to Crowley… It wasn't as if I actually care about him at all. It wasn't as if I cared about what he was saying…

I needed to exact my revenge on the world for what it did to me. It left me half the time on the streets with nothing to go back home to except a hysterical, drug-addicted mother and violent father. A father who already went to prison twice and left me alone with my suicidal mother.

I needed to exactly my revenge on the world for leaving me alone with nothing. It left me alone in a shack sized house in the middle of the worse neighborhood you could imagine. It left me alone in a place where I was assaulted every time I was seen; a place where my body was favored amongst the older boys and men. It left me in a place where I was alone with no one. No one.

How could he even begin to think what I had gone through? How dare he compare himself, who pretty much had it made, to me who had nothing?

But, I couldn't help myself. I just couldn't stop myself from listening.

"You don't have to hurt people anymore, Meg," he told me.

I still didn't say anything.

I was cold.

"There is a difference purpose you can serve. There are other people who can rely on you and befriend you," Castiel said.

I let out a hollow laugh that held no amusement. "There isn't anyone like that by now. I pretty much destroyed anyone's chance at liking me when I slit their throats or devastated themselves or their friends."

"What about me?" Castiel asked.

I paused again.

"What about you?" I asked, pretending not to understand.

"I can be your friend," he said.

I shook my head, slowly at first, but then it increased in vigor. "No, Castiel, you can't be my friend. That would make you have to be bad, and me having to be good, which would suck."

"Why would it suck?" Castiel asked.

"I just don't fly that way."

"Why not?"

I was getting annoyed.

"Stop psychoanalyzing me, Cas," I demanded, crossing my hands. "You live your life and I'll live mine, I didn't ask you to help me or anything."

"You kissed me," he pointed out.

"So?" I responded, feeling my face, for the first time in a situation like this, grow hot.

"You cared enough to do that," Castiel replied. "You just risked your status in your gang. You…you do realize that, correct? What if one of them was watching?"

He had a point.

"Think about what we've talked about," he said finally. "And when you are ready for an alteration in your lifestyle, my door is open."

With that, Castiel left, and I was alone once again, feeling the gravity of my situation slam down on me. Did I really just open up to him like that? Did I actually hold a civil conversation with him? Was I really considering what he was saying? Why did I kiss him and not snatch the gun? I kissed plenty of to-be victims before to take things. It always worked; nothing like this ever happened before. I felt nothing towards him! Nothing! Why was this happening to me?

In summary: What the hell had just happened?

End of Chapter 4

Author's Notes

Thank you to everyone who took the time to read my silly love story. I appreciate it greatly, especially those who took the time to leave reviews and to follow it. I would just like to address some of the reviews:

To Jenny: Thank you for taking the time to review! Yes, I have a few chapters planned before hand, which is the reason that I updated quickly. :) But, I'm sorry, this is a Megstiel fanfiction and I can't really fit in any Wincest!

Also, if it is your deepest, utmost passion and ambition to send me hate reviews, please do so in a language that I understand! No, Japanese is not a language that I understand, anon, and Google translate is not a very good translator.

Once again, thank you to everyone else who took the time to review my work! It inspires me to continue writing. :) I hope you will enjoy the rest of my fanfiction!