A/N: Thank you all for reading and reviewing so far. I am quite enjoying this story. Going back and forth between POV is a challenge for me and I hope I am doing a good job. This chapter is in Hook's POV. Random fact about my Hook in this story. this is after the curse, but he's still Captain Hook so not everyone is a fan of him. My mid has basically made is closest friends, Ruby, Leroy, and Anton the giant. all of this will play a role in the whole story.

Chapter 4: Out of My Mind

"You're a bloody nuisance you know that?" Killian was really starting to get annoyed with the god who decided to invade his body. After what happened at the town meeting he really didn't want to talk to the god, but unfortunately he wouldn't leave Killian alone and it was starting to give the pirate a headache. He managed to make it back to his ship without acknowledging the god's presence in his head, but it didn't deter Zeus from trying to get the pirate to speak to him. Zeus was actually quiet when Killian finally made it aboard his ship, but after he made it back to his quarters he began to speak up again.

"I don't know why you are so angry at me?" Zeus stated. "I was just pointing out what you seem to be ignoring."

"I'm not ignoring anything," Killian replied clearly irritated as he began to rifle through one of the chests sitting in the corner.

"What exactly are you looking for?" Zeus asked.

"Rum," Killian replied. "After the day I've had and having to put up with you and your insane theories, I could really use a drink."

"Ah, so you are going to attempt to drink your feelings away," Zeus replied. "I have tried that before. It doesn't work."

Killian sighed heavily. "Bloody hell, for the last time I do not have feelings for Swan."

"You're not fooling me you know. I am after all stuck inside your body. That also means that I have access to whatever is going on in your mind."

"I would appreciate if you would vacate my mind and leave me alone," Killian stated, finally finding what he was looking for. He pulled the cork out with his teeth spitting it onto the floor before he took a large gulp.

"Unfortunately for both of us I am not capable of leaving your body. I need something to do while I'm stuck in here so accessing various things in your mind can be quite entertaining. Although, it does create quite a bit of effort to go deeper. How is it that you are over 300 years old anyway?"

"If you can access whatever you like in my mind, why don't you look for yourself," Killian stated taking a seat by his desk as he took another swig of the rum.

"I may be stuck in your body, but I am attempting to not pry things out of your mind unwillingly," Zeus explained. "You are not the best at burying some things so they are quite obvious to me. Other things I would prefer you explained to me yourself. We are, after all, going to be living like this for a while."

Killian sighed as he took another drink of rum and sat the bottle on his desk. He rubbed his temple with his good. "I lived in Neverland for 300 years. It's a land where people don't grow up. I needed time to find a way to kill my crocodile. Rumpelstiltskin. He killed the woman I loved, originally his wife, because she chose to leave him for me. I came to Storybrooke to exact my revenge."

Killian refused to go into any more detail than that. He didn't like thinking about it too much when he had agreed to a truce that has now left his vengeance unfulfilled. He had hoped that Zeus would leave it at that, but the god had proved to be far too curious for Killian's liking.

"So did you succeed?" Zeus asked.

Killian picked up the bottle of rum and took another long gulp before answering. "No I did not. I was forced to make a truce with the crocodile. He also has the pleasure of sharing his body with a god. Hades, was the gods name I believe."

"Ah, yes," Zeus exclaimed. "My brother. That's too bad for him, Hades isn't a particularly pleasant man to try to get along with and he has a terrible temper."

"Good," Killian replied simply.

"So what made you give up on your revenge?" Zeus asked. "You spent 300 years planning it and I get the sense that you are not a man who would give up so easily."

Killian remained silent. This was not a discussion he wanted to have with anyone. He had put his revenge aside and although multiple people had asked him why, he didn't want anyone to know the answer. Killian knew he wouldn't even have to say anything. The god was far too perceptive and he would admit that his feelings regarding that situation were not so easy to bury in his mind.

"And you try to tell me you don't have feelings for this woman named Swan," Zeus stated after a few moments of silence. "Yet you gave up the revenge you had been planning for 300 years in order to keep her and her son safe."

"Can't it be that she's a friend and I care enough about her enough that I don't want her hurt? He can't rip out Emma's heart," Killian explained. "Cora had already tried that and failed, but it would kill Emma if she lost her son. I couldn't let the crocodile do that to her. She has already closed her heart off to the world and that boy is the only one who ever got in. I didn't want to see what would happen if the crocodile made true on his threat."

There was a knock on the door and for once Killian was thankful for the interruption. Although, there were not a lot of people in town who actually knew where the entrance to his invisible ship was, and even fewer who would actually come aboard and seek him out when he was in his quarters.

"Who's there?" Killian called, desperately hoping it wasn't Emma. He didn't think he could face her right now.

"It's Anton," the voice said.

"Come in," said Killian with a sigh of relief as he took another drink of rum.

The now normal sized giant entered the Captains Quarters and looked around. When he noticed Killian sitting at his desk drinking rum the giant smiled.

"Having a bad day?" he asked with an amused grin.

"Oh, you have no idea," Killian replied. "You don't have the joy of sharing your body with and increasingly annoying god."

"You only find me annoying because I'm pointing out the feelings you are trying to hide from yourself," Zeus stated.

"Yeah," Anton replied, rubbing the back of his neck. "I guess I got lucky when it comes to that. If it makes you feel any better I don't think anyone else is taking to it very easily either. That Jefferson guy seemed especially freaked out. I could hear him going on about people already thinking he's mad and that this wasn't helping that situation."

Killian just nodded. Most people in the town avoided him because of who he was. The only people other than Emma that didn't seem to have any problems associating with him were Anton, Ruby, and Leroy. It was nice that he had other people in the town to talk to, but most everyone else still saw him as a villain. Something about being Captain Hook didn't sit well with most of the town, but nobody could deny that he was a great help when it came to defeating Cora. Though, he started out on the witch's side, he eventually switched over and helped with her defeat.

"Was that because of some blonde beauty you just couldn't stay away from?" Zeus asked.

"Would you please stop doing that?" Killian asked rubbing his head again. He was sure this headache would never go away with the god invading his mind.

"Doing what?" Anton asked, confused as he sat on the side of the pirate's bed.

"Sorry, not you," Killian explained. "The bloody god won't stop invading my personal thoughts and it is becoming quite troublesome."

The giant was silent for a few minutes as he appeared to be studying him. Killian just raised an eyebrow as he took another long drink of his rum.

"He knows you're in love with Emma," Anton stated giving Killian a knowing look. Killian almost choked on his rum and began to cough almost uncontrollably.

"Ha, I'm not the only one who notices, "Zeus exclaimed. "And he's not even the one inside your mind."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Killian finally stated when he was able to get control of his "

"Oh, Please," said Anton. "I'm surprised half the town doesn't know. You are not really good at hiding your feelings, pirate."

"What?" "Killian asked.

"You stare at her when she's not looking, you always glance at her lips whenever she's talking to you, and are you really going to tell me that you don't notice that she is the only person you associate with that you actually genuinely smile at?" Anton explained. "Not your usual pirate like smile."

"I have a pirate like smile?" Killian asked, raising his eyebrow.

"You're trying to change the subject," Anton stated. "I could also mention the entire time you were stuck up at the top of the beanstalk all you did was mumble about her. I seem to remember you saying some things along the lines of 'I let you in and this is how you repay me,' and 'I thought you were different,' and 'I tried to trust you and you couldn't do the same for me'."

"So you were eavesdropping on me?" Killian asked. "Remind me to never climb another beanstalk."

"You're missing the point, Jones," said Anton. "You love her, but you are not even willing to admit it to yourself. So how are you going to tell her?"

"He makes a good point you know," said Zeus.

"I don't plan on telling her anything," Killian replied raising his voice. "Even if I did say I had feelings for her, it wouldn't change anything. I made a promise to myself after Milah. I will never let myself feel like that again. I don't need another reason to get hurt and I'd be out of my mind to take another chance like that especially with the crocodile roaming free."

"I made a promise to myself once, just like you," Anton stated. "I promised myself that I would kill any human I ever came into contact with again and that I could never trust humans no matter what. Emma made me realize that humans can be different and that they are not all evil. Now I am living here among multiple humans. Something I would have never considered doing in my life after my family was killed. Emma gave me hope that the past won't repeat itself. Maybe she could give you hope too."