"Derek. What are you doing here? We already had "the" talk. Us..." she pointed from him to her "…is never gonna happen."

Meredith had gathered herself again. What was he thinking to come back? Wasn't it enough they had to see each other every day at the hospital?

"Please. Just hear me out. I came back to tell you that I still have feelings for you and that I won't give up on us if you give us a last chance. I won't mess it up. Promise! I never had that feeling of being complete, of feeling really "in the right place" before I met you. You gave and give me everything I've ever dreamed of."

He approached her and when she didn't step back he sat down on the bed. Meredith sat down next to him and for some minutes there was nothing but darkness and silence. Silent darkness and dark silence.

"Derek…I.."

Meredith was fighting for the right words.

"Derek. You don't know how great this would have been to hear half a year ago. Things happened. Things you can't deny, you can't pretend they didn't exist. Addison returning, you lying to me..no..not even telling me about her."

Meredith was surprised by her own calmness. She had never thought that she could be that centered whilst talking to Derek. But there she was. Acting like an adult. Lying back, arms behind her head she stared at the dark ceiling. He watched her but didn't move.

"You know. We got together and everything was all fluffy and great and new and…pink. But I missed the feeling you just described. I missed to be able to relax and to be honest with you all the time. I missed the naturalness. There had always been that tension…."

Derek interrupted her. "Meredith…what are you saying? Are you telling me that you've never ever really been in love with me?"

"What's love, Derek? I've been in some relationships so far and I've never felt like the world stopped spinning so far. Like everything has finally fallen into place. Maybe it's a dream world but I won't give up on it that quickly. Not for something that's already been THAT messed up from the beginning. I am sorry…but that's just how I feel and have been feeling for a really long time now."

Derek didn't know what to answer. He stared at her figure in the darkness. Without any words he climbed next to her.

"What are you doing? It's over Derek. Please, don't make me get angry again. I really like you. You are a great guy but ….us…no…it won't work out. I've been having feel…."

She broke off the sentence.

"You are in love with another guy?" Derek couldn't believe what he had just heard.

"No. I didn't say anything about that."

Meredith tried to stay calm. She had gone too far. Why? WHY in god's name did she have to say that sentence? She hadn't even been sure for herself and now she started talking to Derek about her love life? A whole new world lay in front of her and everything was new and exciting. And she found no better person than Derek?

"Meredith, what's wrong with you!" She ranted in her mind.

"No, Derek…."

Derek jumped out of the bed.

"I knew I wasn't the only reason to break up. But thank you for telling me. Now I know what's going on and I will make sure you won't have to deal with me except in surgery. In fact, I will make it really easy for you. You don't even have to talk to me. You don't have to be the one scrubbing in on my surgeries. I am over you and I can pull some handles to make sure everything is perfect for you and your little "perfect world" dream."

With these words he stomped out of the room.

Izzie and George who were still standing in the hallway were chatting about a picture. It had caused a lot of quarrels so far.

"I tell you. It's just crap. I could paint it…" George stopped talking. An angry Derek was running towards them.

"Are you already leaving?" Izzie tried to be nice but it was a dead loss. Derek didn't even recognize them. He went out the front door and clashed it.

"What the hell did happen in there? I didn't even hear them fight." George tiptoed towards Merdith's bedroom door and pressed an ear against it.

"Oh, come on George. Make some room for me too." Both of them were pressing their ears against the door hearing exactly nothing.

"What are we listening for? I mean, she is alone in there and…" George turned to Izzy who shook her head.

"Just for the sake of spying." She giggled.

"Guys, I can hear you. The doors are not soundproof around here. Just leave me alone."

Izzie and George didn't know what to do. They just remained silent at the same spot for another five minutes. Nothing. Meredith didn't come out and neither of them had the courage to go in. Finally George turned around.

"Good night Izzie. Tomorrow is another long work day. I have to get some sleep."

"Night, George. I think I'll stay with Meredith." With these words she quietly pushed down the door handle and stepped into the dark room.

"Didn't I tell you to leave me alone?" Meredith's thick and teary voice came over from the bed.

"I know. But…every time you've said that so far you didn't really mean it. And…here I am. A good friend has to stick with his friends. You know…"

With these words she sat down next to Meredith.

"I messed up everythin. Everything. I ended the relationship."

Izzie interrupted her. "But, isn't that exactly what you wanted?"

"Yes, but I also told him that I have been having feelings lately and he didn't really take it well and now I am scared he will gossip and…"

"There is another man in your life? How come I didn't…"

"Izzie, please, focus."

"I am sorry. Go on." She brushed a strand of Meredith's hair out of her face.

"There is not much more to the story. He got furious and stomped out."

Izzie didn't know what to say or think so she just laid down next to Meredith. Both went to sleep rather quickly.