Hunters
Disclaimer: I Do Not Own SPN or its characters, I DO however own all my OCs, Ideas, and the story.
I stood before the dirty mirror in front of me silently, the lights overhead flickering a bit- the small room fairly dirty and empty.
Water dripped from my pale skin as my tired eyes traced the pitiful form of my own body, I had become very thin, my muscles had wasted away over the years, my skin grew lighter. My hair was darker too, and it was very long, dull- the ends split and frayed for inches, now damp from the shower I had taken.
As per my instruction, I had Castiel pull into a Camping site just off the highway- where I knew there would be showers to use, I had been camping several times with my family and remembered it well.
All the blood and the grime and the sweat had been wiped clean from my body, a welcome feeling- it was refreshing, and being cleaner made me feel a bit better.
My eyes traced the scar along my side, right were the pale mark littered my skin- from the kitchen knife Conner had shoved into me. My eyes slowly traced toward my left arm, where a long gash had been carved into the side from blocking the knife as Conner swung out at me...
And then my eyes landed on the scar stretching from my shoulder and over down my back. This one was the largest, and the most noticeable. It stretched all the way from the top of my shoulder, over my shoulder blade and down until it stopped in the center of the middle of my back.
These were the three scars that had never faded away since that night. The physical scars from the wounds done unto me as my possessed brother tried to murder me...
I shuddered at the thought, shaking my head a little to rid myself of the sudden burst of pain coming on- my mind was shredded enough, and thinking about things like that were not going to help me stay any more sane.
I grabbed the clothes I had swiped from the various campsites around the area- everyone was asleep, so no one noticed. A part of me felt stealing was wrong. It was wrong... But maybe certain things were alright, in the right situations.
What I had to choose from hadn't been a lot, but it was enough. I had found a pair of boot cut jeans that would fit me, a black tank top and a black hoodie too- with some socks and a pair of worn, but still usable dark blue converse, and a towel.
They were much better than the same white attire I had been in the last four years, I don't think I could ever wear white again, the color was somewhat sickening.
I pulled the clothes on and sighed to myself, running my fingers through my hair, which was well past the center of my back in length now, as I attempted to pull out as many of the tangles as I could, and make it look decent. I hadn't anything in the way of tying it up, so I let it fall loosely about my shoulders and down my back- I frowned slightly at it though, I didn't like long hair, it was uncomfortable...
I paused a bit longer to look at the result of the new clothes and the lack of blood.
I looked... Normal.
It had never occurred to me that I could look even relatively normal under any circumstances anymore. I wasn't normal by any means, I was broken and quite possibly a bit insane. My life wasn't normal, and to see myself now- with regular clothes and clean skin, washed hair... It was weird.
A nice change though. I knew I must look like a wreck still, but I had been much worse looking before. Now I could pass as a possibly depressed and exhausted human being, who was still running a bit of a fever but nothing bad.
I looked better, I felt a bit better... This wasn't so bad. At least, not until I remembered who I was, what happened, and who I was in the company of.
I was a fugitive, there were Demons after me, I was a wreck, and I was in the company of an Angel- the Angel who had let my life fall apart... I let a heavy sigh escape my lips as I let my eyes fall closed.
"Awesome... My life is just great..." I muttered exasperatedly, slightly annoyed by it and put down, but honestly? I knew it could be much worse, at least at this point things had somewhat slowed down... To a point anyway. Crazy things had started up again and I was on the run, yes- but it was a sort of peaceful urgency, it was better than being in that Mantal Hospital- it was better to be moving again, to be in the outside world. Even if I hadn't actually had any social contact or done anything besides dying in a back seat of an Angel's car, who of which was the only being I had spoken to since then.
Speaking of the Angel, I knew he was standing outside the door to the bathroom right now- I could feel the calm sense of power nagging at the back of my kind that alerted me of his presence anywhere near me. The Angel who watched my life fall apart. And the Angel who had saved me from dying when the Demon got into the Mental Hospital, the one who broke me out and the one who held on to me as I fell closer and closer to dying - albeit if doing so had made me stay in the endless, agonizing torture now threatening to derail my mind if I thought about it. And the Angel who had admitted to me that he had let everything happen, that he hadn't done anything... And that he was sorry. He had told me he was sorry, though I was sure he thought I hadn't heard any of it. He regretted it, I could tell he did, and his eyes were so sad when he looked at me, he hated what he did to me.
'Sorry' didn't mean a lot in light of the things that had happened, I was just glad he admitted his fault. It was better to have someone who admitted their mistakes, then tried to ignore them.
I shook my head a little and sighed, turning away from the mirror and dumping the clothes I was ditching into the bottom of the trash can, moving some of the things around so they were covered by other trash, and then headed out the door into the cool night outside, hearing Castiel move as he saw the door open and he headed over.
"We can go now." I mumbled, glancing his way momentarily as he reached me, I turned to face him and quirked an eyebrow at the slightly astonished look-over he gave me. "What?"
"You look... Better." He offered rather weakly and I just blinked. Maybe seeing how much better a simple shower and a change of clothes was a notion he couldn't quite understand, I was slowly getting the feeling that Castiel was very socially awkward- and not just with me. He just had that air about him, like he was some sort of isolated puppy most of his life that didn't know how to act around humans.
"Yeah..." I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck in exasperation as I turned away, "Come on..." I called back, heading toward the parked form of his car as I heard him follow me slowly, I swear I saw him shaking his head at himself and I faintly heard him mutter something like; 'stupid... What were you thinking...'
I shook my head slightly. Definitely a socially awkward little puppy... Lord knows why I got stuck with an Angel who was this awkward...
"Are these guys even going to be awake?" I murmured, arms over my chest and eyes out searching the dark gray of the early morning outside. "Its like 4 in the morning." Castiel had told me we were only a few minutes out just a bit before, and where we were too. Two states over from Nevada- in Kansas of all places.
"They will be." Castiel replied evenly, "They only ever get about four hours of sleep every other day most of the time."
Four hours of sleep every other day? I blinked in shock at the response, how could anyone live on four hours every other day? I couldn't, I wouldnt think... But honestly, sleeping hadn't been all it was cracked up to be, when every time you shut your eyes, you relived everything- all the things that happened, and were plagued by endless nightmares. Most nights I woke up screaming after an hour or so and then couldn't go back to sleep for another few, and then a nightmare ensued and the process repeated.
Inside the Mental Hospital, I had lost all sense of time. And I suppose that went to say I lost sense of hours in there too- because I probably hadn't gotten more than four or five hours of sleep every night either...
Speaking of the Mental Hospital- "How did you get me out of there?" I asked, earning a head tilt from the Angel at the unexpected question. "How did you manage to walk out of that Hospital with me, and not get gunned down? And on that matter, shouldn't the police be looking for me?"
"They think you're dead." Was the answer, "Getting out was easy, I can make myself invisible to humans should I want to- but there was a lot of your blood in that room, too much for anyone to live, I checked in and they have announced you dead and not alerted the authorities on the matter."
I sighed a little, effective really... If they thought I was dead, I wasn't going to be pursued by the police... But again, my existence in the world was erased again. Whatever name I had had since being thrown in that hospital was gone, I was no one again, I was nothing...
... But was that so bad? I was broken, it really couldn't matter very much if I was nothing...
"I see..." I replied lowly, letting us fall into silence again, silence. That was what we had been doing for the most part, just sitting there, we hardly said a word to each other.
Castiel must have thought it better not to say any thing to me, wary of the fact that I was clearly not fond of him and probably wouldn't be up to chit chatting.
He rolled to a stop on some out of the way dirt road surrounded by trees and a large hill to my right, where I could faintly make out some steps leading down toward a circular tunnel entrance it seemed. I paused a minute, fingers tracing the door handle before I stepped out into he chilly air outside, my breath billowing out in front of me in a cloud. I heard Castiel's door open and shut, and then his feet crunching on the gravel of the road as he circled around toward me and looked my way, but I wasn't looking at him- instead my eyes were trained on the circular entrance.
"Is this... A Military Bunker or something...?" I asked slowly, it being the only thing I could come up with- considering it looked like it was underground.
"... No, its not Military per say." Castiel murmured, "It was for a... Supernatural Fighting group of men, they built it. But it is referred to as 'The Bunker'. Its also been warded against the Supernatural, no Demons can enter or even find this place. You'll be safe here." He explained, earning a small nod from me. I glanced his way and our eyes met momentarily, before he hastily looked away and headed toward the door. "C-come on..."
I shook my head slightly and followed him in, there was a door in the round entryway that he opened easily. The door creaked a little on its hinges as we headed into the space, the lights bright overhead and the inside feather warm, as we stood on a small balcony the had a set of stairs to the right, and overlooked a sort of main foyer where a large table with the globe spread out across its surface, sproting several lights and whatnot, was spread. I noticed the several spread our books and documents spread among its surface, and then spotted the corridor leading away to the left, and the small steps into a separate room on the right- from my angle I could see dozens of books and such on the shelves.
Castiel paused a moment to let me see what I could, before he lead me down the steps, and stopped in the main foyer, I glanced around hastily, trying to take in everything that I could.
Jesus there were a lot of books here... And a lot of trash.
Not to be sexest or anything, but I had to figure that these two Hunters Castiel had brought me to, must be men. I couldn't picture any girls living with so much clutter and trash...
Our entry into 'The Bunker' hadn't gone unnoticed, and my head snapped around to the left when I heard footsteps echoing down the hallway there, the form of some... Seriously tall dude walking toward us. My eyes went wide, barely noticing or even caring about his plaid shirt and jeans with workmen boots, or even his thick, long brown hair.
This guy was a freaking giant! I had never thought of myself as very short but Jesus, he was huge!
He approached us immediately, recognizing Castiel I'm sure, before his eyes found me and I saw them light up with surprise. Surprise? Probably because I figured Castiel had called them earlier, when I had been you know- dying. Seeing me upright and relatively normal should come as a surprise.
"Cas," he murmured, stopping before us, his eyes glancing back and forth between the Angel and myself. "Everything ok? Did you have any problems getting here?" He asked, ignoring me for a minute, though I could hardly care- I was too busy looking up at him, still trying to get over his towering height over me. I'd gotten taller in the last four years, and still I was a freaking midget compared to this guy.
Ok, I might be exaggerating about that just a tiny bit, but the point still stands.
"Yes, its fine... For now. I believe we are... 'Out of the hoods' for now, that was the saying?" Castiel murmured, his tone low and dropping into uncertainty near the end. The tall man smiled a little and sighed,
"... Out of the woods, Cas." He corrected gently, earning an understanding look from the Angel.
"That makes much more sense..."
The man's eyes finally moves to, and stayed on me, giving me a reassuring smile and a sudden kind demeanor I wasn't quite used to anymore. "Hey, you must be Thea. My name's Sam Winchester, my brother Dean is here too... I think he's in the kitchen." He said, "Cas told us the gist... Are you alright? How are you feeling?"
For a minute, I was just embarrassed. Do you remember me telling you, I was painfully shy? I hadn't been that way since everything happened... But just now, now I was shy, and I was flustered, the fact that he was so freaking tall wasn't helping. Maybe it was because he was being so nice to me? Something other people really hadn't been for four years?
Castiel doesn't count. I'm still pissed at him.
"... Y-yeah... You can just call me Echo though, if you want..." I mumbled, voice too low to be socially acceptable, but hey! At least I managed to say anything at all, Sam smiled a little at my sudden flusteredness. "... I... I think I'm more or less ok... Tired... But ok..." I broke off as he noddeed a little, looking slightly relieved at my answer.
"Well, its just good to see you're doing better. When Cas called he said you were in pretty bad shape..." Sam's eyes trailed over toward Castiel a moment, the look he received was one of exasperation and guilt. His smile faded a bit and he sighed, looking back to me. I was still just staring, and when he caught my eye again I looked away quickly, hands in my hoodie pocket and twidling my thumbs incessantly. "... You must be pretty tough." He finished, blinking a few times. "Something wrong?"
I shook my head a little, "No-no... Not really.. Its just..." My eyes went back over to him, as he waited patiently for an answer. ".. You caught me off guard... You're like a freaking Sasquatch.." That was a stupid reply. But honestly, it was what I was thinking!
Sam's expression went blank, Castiel's eyes narrowed in confusion. "Sam is nothing like a mythical big footed creature that roams in forests..." The Angel murmured, I was quickly becoming to realize that he wasn't just socially awkward. He was also very literal, about almost everything.
"She's right Sammy, you are a Sasquatch." Another man's voice suddenly broke apart the small meeting, my eyes swept to the right to see another guy, with a leather jacket, a necklace, jeans, and boots walking toward us, an amused smirk playing at his lips. "Finally, someone who agrees with me." He stopped beside us, giving me a smile and a small wink. I smiled faintly in return, feeling more flustered, but for some reason... I kinda felt I was gonna like this guy, Dean was it?
Sam regained his bearings. Rolling his eyes at his brother he shook his head. "Oh shut up Dean." Dean it is. "Don't listen to him, he's an idiot." Sam told me, only half joking.
"And Sammy doesn't know what the hell he's talking about," Dean retorted evenly, still smiling a bit. His green eyes rest on me, glittering in amusement. "I think you and I are gonna get along just fine, sweetheart." I smiled back, lowering my eyes a little, hey- I was still a pretty shy person at heart. "And don't you worry, we'll do everything we can to help you get sorted, and stay safe." He promised, I nodded slightly,
"T-thanks..." He smiled a little at the stammer, he and Sam seemed to be easily able to see how shy I was, and they both thought it was a little amusing...
"You can stay here as long as you need." Sam cut in suddenly, "And like Dean said; we'll do whatever we can for you, with the Demons after you and whatever else, you can trust us."
Trust?
Trust was a strong thing, something that shouldn't be handed out willy nilly. I thought I trusted a few people in my life, but all of them are dead or either completely forgot I existed.
After that night, after what happened... I was so broken, so torn up, trust wasn't really even a word in my vocabulary anymore. Sam and Dean.. They seemed nice enough. I'm sure they were good people, but trusting anyone ever again? That was going to take time... A lot of it.
I nodded slowly, "... Alright... Thank you.. Again... I appreciate it." And I was sure to appreciate any help hunting those Demons after me, finding who wanted my life destroyed, and what they wanted from me.
They were Hunters right? They faced Demons and what not all the time, they must be good at what they do, and they could help me.
It suddenly hit me that Castiel had hardly spoken a word since we came in, well... He had hardly said anything to me for a long time now. But surely he wasn't that way with other people?
That's when I noticed the small looks shared between a grimfaced Angel and two very exasperated looking Hunters, before those looks disappeared and I was left looking between the three quickly. It was immediately clear that Castiel had something to say, and it was also clear he refrained from doing so in front of me. That made a small twinge of annoyance flare inside of me, before it went away as Dean smiled and flicked his head sideways. "Come on Sweetheart, I'll give you a tour."
Come with me and leave Castiel and Sam to talk, was what he really meant to say.
I just nodded a little and slowly followed him toward the hallway Sam had come out of, glancing over my shoulder slightly to see Sam and Castiel walking away toward the room filled with books.
"I realize living with a couple of dudes probably isn't your idea of 'comfortable'." Dean called back to me, earning my attention again. "But Cas, Sam and I.. We agree this is the safest place for you for now. At least until this all gets fixed.."
".. Its fine." I murmured, earning a glance over his shoulder toward me, though my eyes were on the floor. "... Its better than... Living in an Insane Asylum, all by myself..."
"I get that." Dean replied, I looked up, hearing the gentleness creeping into his voice, he wasn't looking my way anymore. "We actually, Sam and I, we spent some time in one of those... Its not pretty." He took in a small breath, ".. Four years of that... I wouldn't wish that on anyone, let alone you..."
I blinked, feeling a little flustered again, as his voice dropped to a low, soft tenor. He suddenly sounded so... So sad, so remorseful, so... Haunted, even... It caught me of gaurd. First glance, he seemed like a smart ass, a cocky dude who probably had a habit for flirting with ladies... And yet just suddenly, he was so sad... So gentle, soft... And honest.
I had become very good at telling lies, at hearing how honest people were about things. I'd been good at it before, and I had only gotten better.
When he said that, that he wouldn't have wished all that time spent in the Mental Hospital on anyone... He meant it.
.. Just like when Castiel apologized...
I shook my head slightly, pushing that last thought away.
"... Why... Were you there...?" I asked hesitantly. I didn't know if I should ask or not, what if it was something really personal like my story..?
"A job." Dean answered easily. I blinked in confusion, as he stopped outside a door and smiled at me a little.
"Job?"
"Cas already told you that we're Hunters right?"
"Yeah..." I nodded and he sighed a little,
"Well... We were hunting a sort of Monster inside the place, called a Wraith. Something that literally feeds off mental illness and the like." My eyes went a little wide at the words, shivering slightly as the thought of something feeding on people in the Mental Hospital hit me. That what if; there had been something there beside Demons?
I suddenly remembered all the times I thought I saw black eyes in the faces of the people who worked there, the panic that it instilled in me... I shook my head a little and pushed that away, rightly so, going down that road could lead to a break down, and I really didn't want that...
Dean noticed my reaction and his smile faded, as he rubbed the back of his neck a little. "Sorry... Probably shouldn't be giving you all the gorey details..." I shook my head at him,
"No, no it's fine... I mean, I did ask." I told him quickly, "Its fine, really... I need to start to get to know about this kind of stuff eventually anyway." He gave me a silent stare for a minute, like he was trying to see if I was being honest, or if I was sure maybe... I gestured at him a little, "So? Did you stop it? The Wraith?"
He smiled a little, nodding once. "Hell yeah, you're new to the supernatural thing, but Sam and I are... Well, some of the best Hunters out there, if I do say so myself." I smiled a little, that sounded rather conceded, but hell, what did I know about the Hunter world? Nothing. And I had to admit, this 'Bunker' was pretty impressive from the little I had seen of it.
"How many Hunters are there?"
"Not nearly as many as there should be." Was the simple answer, his face fell a little and suddenly his eyes grew sad... It reminded me of me.
How many Hunters had he known, that weren't around anymore? That's what hit me about the look he suddenly had. The look I recognized so well, the one worn by people who had lost others... Those who has lost those people they knew... Over and over...
"Sorry its nothing special, but its a bed, with a door, and a bathroom- simple but it should work. Its a bit bare, but you can do with it what you like.. Posters, pictures... Whatever.
"Its... Fine. I don't need anything special... Not really in to posters or anything like that actually."
"Well, that's... Surprising."
"Not really a teenage girl, Dean."
"Coulda fooled me."
"Shut up..."
I shook my head to myself as lay down on the bed, eyes closed and smiling slightly. Dean had given me a grand tour, from his room to Sam's, to the storage, computer, garage, he pointed out where the kitchen was, and the library- though we didn't go that way, because Sam and Castiel were still talking.
I was where I would be for the foreseeable future, my room- a barren room with a bed, a desk, dresser and a bathroom attached. As Dean had said, it was bare, empty, plain... It somewhat reminded me of my room in the Mental Hospital, only... It was warmer. The walls weren't white, neither were the sheets, the desk wasn't metal. It was different. It was comfortable.
Maybe I could have used a window, but I wouldn't see anything more than a shit ton of dirt anyway, underground and all.
Dean had left me be, telling me I should probably sleep ad he'd be back in a bit to check in- he also said yell if I needed something. Then he'd gone and I could faintly hear voices, muffled and indiscernible from where I was, but voices none the less- of all of them talking away, about me, about my fucked up life, and for some reason- I wasn't allowed to hear.
That pissed me off a little, honestly. What could they possibly say that I didn't already know? What else would I not have the right to know about? This was my life they were meddling in, and I wasn't allowed to know about it.
I let out a heavy sigh, throwing my arms down above my head, eyes closed and all attention focused on trying to hear anything that they were saying. This room was down the hall from Sam's and down another to the left, just across from a room used for storage. Needless to say, I was too far to hear hardly anything.
I wasn't going to go to sleep though, I had been unconscious and in an ever lasting nightmare for 24 freaking hours, sleep was the last thing on my mind. Not that I wasn't tired, but even then... I couldn't sleep now.
"How many Hunters are there?"
"Not nearly as many as there should be."
Not nearly as many as there should be. Not nearly as many people as their should be to fight all the evil and the dirty that hide out in the dark. Not nearly enough to save people, to hunt things that would do harm. Maybe its just me, but that didn't seem right.
... But then again, Dean looked so sad when he said that. How many people, how many Hunters, die doing what they do? Probably more than anyone would care to count.
I sat up and climbed off the bed, I wasn't looking to sit in silence in this room, so... I was gonna look around by myself.
I slipped out the door and closed it softly, my eyes moving over toward the door opposite me, the one full of shelves filled with boxes filled with who the freaking hell knows what. I figured they probably wouldn't want me snooping, but hell, I had nothing else to do.
So inside the next door I went, closing that one behind me and pausing a moment, the room was large enough, and it was packed. So many boxes, all of them labeled individually, most of them 'Poltergeist Case #blah blah' or some other supernatural case or what not you could ever imagine.
I took to walking among the shelves, my hand gliding along the boxes as I glanced the labels over curiuosly,
"Investigation of Werewolf Pack ... Pennsylvania #123..."
"... Incursion of Banshees... New Orleans... 1976..."
"... Unidentified supernatural activity years 1866-1987."
"... Vampire Nest... Washington DC..."
And all manner of other things, I paused once, just as I came before a box labeled 'Demonic Omens, Tennessee... 1956'.
Demonic... Demons.
Without a second thought I pulled the box from the shelf and started rifling though it, pulling the first moldy, musty smelling folder out and taking a seat on the floor beside the shelf, opening it up.
I read every word. Let it all sink in, let my mind wrap around it. It wasn't really anything special, in all honesty- mostly dates, times, and the amount of time a Demonic Omen went on for.
Apparently, mutilated cows, lightning storms, and serious influxes were markers of huge Demon activity, weird weather in general really...
... The storm, the freak storm that erupted in Gildsten the night everything happened, that had to have, and mostly definitely was, a Demonic Omen.
... Wish I had known that, but then again... Even with that knowledge, what was I supposed to have done?
I leaned back against the shelf, the file resting in my lap. I needed to learn all of this, how to stop Demons, how to notice them, find them... Everything. Anything that would help me find out what happened, how my life was torn to shreds, why and who was after me.
In short, I needed to become a Hunter.
I wasn't really looking to do whatever the hell it was that Dean and Sam did exactly... I didn't figure I was cut out for that sort of thing. But still, what better way to learn all I needed to know? Then to be a Hunter? The very people who killed and stopped all the nasty and the dark things that ruined (most definitely ruined- I should know) people's lives?
Now, convincing any of those three people out on the other side of the Bunker that me becoming a Hunter was the way to go... I didn't really see that going over so well. Hell, to them I was the half-dead mental case who could break down at any moment. And it was true, but what they didn't see just yet was the drive- the drive for revenge. That was the only thing that was going to keep me together, and it was sure as hell gonna keep me going for a long time yet.
They'd have to agree to it, even though I'm sure they won't want to... I faintly wondered, how many female Hunters were there at all? It seemed more the.. Male sort of role, but what did it matter? I was gonna do it. My mind was made up.
"... Alright... Between the Apocalypse... Angel War... Purgatory... I get that... Been busy..." My attention snapped from my own thoughts when I finally caught a bit of the conversation being held between Sam, Dean and Castiel.
Purgatory? Angel war?
Apocalypse?!
Had that happened? Well, clearly not- world would be dead then wouldn't it? And what the hell was Angel War and Purgatory about?
Could there lives be that crazy? Seriously?
Cause to me... That sounded like a whole lot of insanity, was Purgatory even a real thing? Well... Angels were apparently, so that didn't seem so crazy... And neither did Apocalypse or Angel War in that case... No, no! That is insane! Wouldn't the world be one big jeeoing mess of shit if an Angel War and the freaking Apocalypse had gone on?
Had they just casually called all that 'being busy'? Like it was some list of menial chores on a Friday night? The holy hell...?!
I froze a moment, suddenly remembering what Castiel had said to me; that he had been watching me before shit hit the fan and then '...off and on since that time...'.
Is that what... Off and on had entailed? That that stupid freaking Angel had been busy with the Apocalypse, an Angel War, and then something involving Purgatory? That's why he sucked at his 'job' of watching me?
No... No freaking way. That doesn't account for why he didn't do a damn thing to help me, or my family when Demons came in and reeked havoc.
"... How... To erase... From existing...?... I don't... Anything... Could... That... No Spell... Its gotta... Impossible..." I listened intently some more, eyes closing and ears straining. How could anyone be erased from records and minds like they never existed? Question of the century right there...
"... Cas...?" It just suddenly hit me that Dean and Sam don't call Castiel, Castiel. They gave him a... A nickname... That seemed very familiar, how close were they to that Angel anyway? In order to give him a nickname, and apparently have the Angel's full trust?
"... Don't know... Never found... Can't... Find..." Now I knew that was Castiel. Because he had already admitted it to me, he just...
... Didn't know.
No one seemed to know, there was just one person, one thing... That Demon that had ordered my life get torn to shreds, the one who wanted something from me.
Whoever that was, they were the only one who knew a damn thing. If I was gonna get answers, I had to learn, I had to be a Hunter. I had to be a damn good Hunter, if I was ever gonna find anything that a freaking Angel hadn't been able to, and that was just what I was gonna do.
No matter what.