I also very much recommend you listen to the Angel Beats OST "Unjust Life" on repeat when Kokoa begins talking about her past. I think it really sets the mood and gives it a lot more emotion. Here's a link if you want to: watch?v=h87kynBO6M8
A silence passed as his story sunk in. "You know," he said, glancing at me from the corner of his eye and smiling weakly, "you're the first person I've ever told."
He really trusts me that much? I wondered to myself. An overwhelming feeling washed over me and I knew what I had—no, wanted to do. I scooted closer to Fujimaki and rested my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes. "When I was ten, I watched my father kill my mother." I felt his body move a little, probably to look at me in shock. I opened my eyes, keeping my focus on his hands resting on his sword. "It started out as a petty argument over money, but then blew up into a scream-fest. It all happened so fast. One minute they were yelling at each other, the next he was on top of her, his hands around her neck." The image of my dad strangling my mom rushed through my brain and I lifted my hands to Fujimaki's arm, gripping it tightly. "I…I can't remember if I…if I tried to stop him…" I stuttered softly, trying so hard to recall the memory. "Maybe I did and he hit me so hard I forgot. Or maybe I stayed hidden in the shadows, watching quietly. I wish I could remember just so this plaguing guilt would go away."
"Kokoa, you don't have to tell me this just because—"
"Either way, she died in front of my eyes. Afterwards, when my dad calmed down and realized what he had done, he broke into tears. This time, I know I didn't approach him. I just watched as the man who killed his own wife, mourned over her death. After who knows how long, he took her lifeless body into his arms and carried her into their bedroom, shutting the door behind them. I waited and waited and waited for him to come out, but he never did. Hours passed before I built up enough courage to knock on the door. When there was no answer, I slowly opened it myself and saw them both lying in bed. Being the naïve child I was back then, I got on their bed and shook him, saying 'Daddy, daddy,' never getting a response back. That's when I noticed the empty pill bottle in his hand, along with a note that said, 'Kokoa, take care of your sister.'" A picture of my dead parents in their bed dashed by in my head.
"So that's what I did. I left their bedroom and closed the door, never opening it again. When my sister woke up and asked me where mom and dad were, I told her they went on a trip far, far away and wouldn't be back for a while. Since she was only six at the time, she believed me. We continued our lives as was. The only difference was I did all the things my mother and father did: cooked, cleaned, did the laundry, helped Miyuki with her homework."
"And your parents' bodies?" Fujimaki asked.
"As morbid as it sounds, I never went near their bedroom and I told Miyuki not to either. I told her that they'd be very angry with her if she did. I knew their bodies were in there, but I also knew that if another adult found them, they'd make us leave our house. And that Miyuki would know the truth."
"How did that go on? Living on your own, that is."
"It wasn't terrible. I'd wake up early every morning so I could get ready and start breakfast before waking Miyuki. When school got out, I'd go get her and we'd walk home. I'd make her a snack while she worked on homework, helping her whenever, and I'd ask how everything went at school. After she finished her work, I'd let her watch TV while I started my own homework. Then I'd cook dinner when I was done and eat with her in front of the TV. Later, I'd put her to sleep just like I saw my mom do a million times. It was pretty much our daily routine. I didn't have time for clubs or anything like that, but I let Miyuki do whatever she wanted. I didn't want to deprive her of her youth. I let her stay over at friend's houses often because I figured it'd be easier on her. She never complained, but I was sure she was tired of always having the same thing every day."
"So what happened?"
"For one, the stench of my parents' decomposing bodies made it almost impossible to live in the house. I did whatever I could to try and cover the stench—open windows, spray air freshener—but there was no way I could eliminate it without removing the source. The other problem was the bills. I didn't know how to pay them so I simply threw them out, though that didn't stop them from coming. Soon our electricity and water was shut off and men from the bank or wherever began showing up. I never let them know we were there, afraid they might separate Miyuki and I. They'd usually leave and come back some other time, but after their third appearance, they said they were going to bring a warrant that would allow them to come inside.
"I was afraid; afraid of them finding us; afraid of them finding my parents; afraid of losing Miyuki. It was too much for my ten year old mind to handle. So, when they were gone, I grabbed two boxes of animal crackers and ran away with Miyuki." A short scoff slipped out of my mouth. "I never did think things through very well back then and probably should've packed some clothing or more food before leaving."
"What did you do after that?"
"We lived on the streets for a little while. It was hard, but we managed somehow. And even then, Miyuki never complained. I wondered if she might have known all along what happened, though she never so. One day, while we were scavenging the garbage bins outside a restaurant for our next meal, a woman saw us and came over. She said her name was Fusa and that she had an orphanage way out in the country with children just like us. We knew better than to go anywhere with strangers, but she seemed genuinely kind and we were both starving. So, we got into her car and let her take us.
"After what felt like hours, we finally arrived at an orphanage. There were some kids playing outside, running and laughing, and when we got out of the car, she introduced us to them. They introduced themselves before going off and continuing their game. The inside of the house was just as big as the outside. There was a large stairway that led to a second floor where all the bedrooms were, which was where we decided to explore when she left to make dinner. There were about five doors, which had at least ten bunk beds in them. We finally found one that had a free bed and claimed it, Miyuki taking the top. While we were lying in bed, talking about what the future might hold for us now, a boy with dark brown hair came in and introduced himself as Tatsuya. He was three years older than me and about four inches taller. By the time dinner was ready, we were already friends. As the years went by, Miyuki made tons of friends."
"What about you?"
"My only friend was Tatsuya. It wasn't because other kids didn't like us or anything. We just preferred to be with each other. I don't know if you'd say we were 'in love', but with each passing year, it felt like our feelings got stronger. I told him everything about me and he did the same. I told him how my dad killed himself shortly after he killed my mom and he told me how his parents were murdered during a robbery gone wrong. When we were alone, we'd talk about our lives together. He always said, 'When I turn eighteen, I'm leaving this place and taking you with me.' I'd laugh and say, 'I can't wait for that to happen.' Then he'd say, 'You're all mine. I'm not gonna share you with anyone.' If only I'd known how serious he was about that, maybe I wouldn't have laughed every time he said it."
"What do you mean?" Fujimaki questioned in a confused tone.
As I let out a sigh, I noticed the sky becoming lighter and faint rays of sunlight rising over the horizon. "When Tatsuya's eighteenth birthday was a couple days away, we decided to put his plan into action. While Fusa was preparing dinner, Tatsuya stole her keys. We packed what little things we had and were about to leave when I remembered Miyuki. My dad's last wish popped into my mind and I knew what I had to do. I ran to get her, telling Tatsuya to meet me in the car and found her sitting on the bottom bunk of our beds. I quickly grabbed her hand and headed outside, brushing off her question on what was going on for later. Tatsuya was in the car and didn't show any sign of happiness when he saw Miyuki. We got in the backseat and he started the car, peeling out.
"The long car ride from dusk to night was silent. Miyuki and I fell asleep, her head on my shoulder and my head on hers. It was still pitch black when I felt Tatsuya gently shake me, saying we were 'here', wherever that was. Miyuki was still asleep so I carried her inside. I was still drowsy so I didn't pay much attention to my surroundings, simply following Tatsuya. When we entered a room, moonlight shined upon a bed through a window. I laid Miyuki on it and fell asleep, never knowing that it was going to be the last time I would be with her."
"You really don't have to continue, Kokoa," Fujimaki insisted.
"Maybe if I hadn't fallen asleep, she would've lived," I muttered, mostly to myself. I wrapped my arms around Fujimaki's, wanting some kind of security before continuing. "I awoke sometime later, my mouth duct taped and arms tied by rope to the headboard of the bed. I couldn't imagine sleeping through something like this. That's when I spotted the needle on the bedside table. And when I noticed Miyuki was gone. I tried desperately to get free, but the more I struggled, the more the ropes seemed to dig into my skin. Then I heard a door open and looked back to see Tatsuya, in his boxers, covered in blood and holding a knife that was too. I didn't have to ask, not that I could've anyway. It all added up: my bounding, Miyuki missing, and Tatsuya covered in blood. That bastard…that bastard raped and killed my little sister! He killed the only family I had left!" I squeezed Fujimaki's arm. "And he had the audacity to smile and say, 'You're all mine. I'm not gonna share you with anyone.'"
I could feel my arms trembling with anger. "It was hell after that. Every day, he'd say, 'You're all mine now. I'm not gonna share you with anyone,' and if I didn't laugh or smile at it like I used to, he'd rape or torture me. I don't know how long it went on, but I do know I never smiled or laughed. Not when he had me or when the police came or when I was back in the orphanage. I couldn't. I had no reason to. After the whole ordeal, I never trusted anyone again because I thought I'd lose them or they'd turn out to be just like Tatsuya. I spent the next year in isolation, never leaving my bed unless I had to and never interacting with anyone. A couple months after my sixteenth birthday, I couldn't take it anymore. The house had too many memories of Miyuki and Tatsuya. So I ran away, just like I had done when I was with Miyuki. The only difference was I was smart enough to bring food with me back then." My lips curve into a small grin as I reminisce how foolish I was. "Unfortunately, that didn't last long. I guess once a naïve child, always a naïve child. I don't know how far I had gotten from the orphanage, but after a few days with no food or water, I passed out in a field of carnations. And then I woke up here, no memories except my death."