"On your mark…" started Donkey Kong, standing on a small rocky hill in F-Zero track Mist Flow. Preparing to race were veteran Captain Falcon, as well as bounty hunter Samus Aran, flying from above in her Gunship. "Get set…"
"Wait!" A tank colored with blue and white drove up. The tank parked next to the Blue Falcon, vehicle of Captain Falcon. Popping out of the tank was Fox McCloud, a vixen from space. "I can race too, right? Right? Right? Right? Right?"
"Okay, you can race," said Falcon, annoyed.
"On your mark, get set…" began Donkey Kong once again.
"Wait!" An airborne vehicle bearing a resemblance to Landmaster arrived behind the finish line, in the air. Falco Lombardi, Fox's pheasant partner, emerged from the ship. "If Fox is racing, count me in. I owe him payback for that Smash battle last week," said Falco.
"On your mark, get set…"
"Hold on, now," said a mysterious voice.
"Go!" ignored Donkey Kong, and the four racers took off. Six seconds into the race, a dense fog spawned, blocking off all potential sight. In an attempt to light things up, Samus launched six missiles. The fire from the missiles repelled the fog. With a clear view, Samus took the lead, better prepared for upcoming obstacles.
From the Arwing, Falco deployed a Smart Bomb.
"This oughta do me some good." The pheasant launched the Smart Bomb at what seemed to be Landmaster. The Smart Bomb exploded on the wall of a rocky canyon, causing boulders to fall, damaging the Arwing.
"Smart Bombs and missiles have got nothing on my supersonic speed!" said Captain Falcon to himself. With that, Falcon sped ahead of Samus in her spaceship.
"Not on my watch," warned Samus, firing a barrage of missiles. She attacked the Blue Falcon with ten of the explosives. Captain Falcon expertly evaded the missiles, and as a counterattack, rode up the canyon wall to conduct a strong ram on the ship. "Wah!" Samus fell back, causing the Gunship to fly off course.
The finish line was 100 meters ahead. Fox had caught up, causing the Blue Falcon and the Landmaster to be head-on-head, while the Arwing and Gunship fell behind.
"I'm not losing this," said Fox. The vixen unleashed his laser cannon in an assault on Falcon. The laser cannon missed when Falcon drove ahead, crossing the finish line. Second, third, and fourth place went to Fox, Falco, and Samus respectively.
The afterward congratulatory moment was swiftly ceased when a character mounting a motorcycle performed a quadruple flip in midair, landing near the racers.
"Didn't I tell you four to hang on, now?"
"The race was about to start. You know, there's such a thing as impatience," said Fox. "Hey, can you cut to the chase? I'm getting impatient."
"Testing my speed is my ultimate goal. As long as I race the fastest one here, Captain Falcon, I'll forgive you guys."
"Now just who are you?" questioned Falco.
"I'm an Excitebiker."
"I heard of you. Planned for Melee, weren't you?" recalled Samus.
"When d'ya want that race, Biker? Any time's good for me," said Captain Falcon.
"One hour, and let's meet at the deadliest course you've got," arranged Excitebiker.
"I've got somethin' in mind," said Falcon.
Twenty minutes later, Excitebiker was polishing his motorcycle. For practice, he used a ramp to jump over three mud pits. The third pit was the largest, and the pit in which Excitebiker faceplanted.
"No, no. That just can't do." Excitebiker continued his practice with jumping the third pit. Captain Falcon unleashed a barrage of punches upon the Blue Falcon, as a test of durability. The vehicle was left unharmed.
"You tanked that, but what about this?" Falcon's hand lit on fire as he prepared his signature move. "Falcon…PUNCH!" The vehicle was left unharmed. "Perfect."
The time for the race had now come. The racers lined up their vehicles on the starting line of Death Wind, a vicious planet and also racing track. Seen in the bleachers were Samus, Fox, Falco, and several of the F-Zero racers.
"If anyone can beat that Falcon, I'll pay them great tribute," said Samurai Goroh, one of Captain Falcon's biggest rivals. Behind the bleachers, the villainous Black Shadow was scheming.
"Oh, don't worry. No one's going to beat Falcon. That's what I'm counting on," whispered Black Shadow, disappearing in a blur of darkness shortly afterward.
Donkey Kong started the race. The competitors took off, casually bumping each other. A hazardous wind storm spawned. Excitebiker was able to surpass the wind storm, while Captain Falcon was caught, thrown to a spike pit. Barely landing to the right of the pit, Falcon drove up a hill to catch up with his opponent. He wasn't prepared for loss.
A cloud of acid rain appeared. The toxic liquid poured from above, melting Excitebiker's wheels and helmet. The acid rain simply dripped off the Blue Falcon, with the vehicle left unharmed. Excitebiker's motorcycle drooped, until eventually collapsing. He replaced the wheels, in addition to his helmet, and rejoined the race.
A wall of green aliens blocked the path of the racers. These aliens resembled turtles, wearing shells on their backs, with green skin. Flying out of the mouths of the alien species were slimeballs, sticking to Excitebiker's helmet and Captain Falcon's windshield. Neither competitor was able to see, an event leading to the Blue Falcon crashing into Excitebiker's motorcycle. The motorcycle spun rapidly, and in a top-like motion, knocked aside every alien in Excitebiker's way.
The finish line was right behind the cluster of aliens, and was crossed by the Excitebiker in his spin.
"I knew I'd win," unhumbly stated Excitebiker. Out of nowhere, a bomb of darkness exploded, bringing the death of Excitebiker.
Black Shadow teleported into the area, observing the effects of the explosion. "I see my trap worked. With Captain Falcon gone, I can-"
"Falcon Punch!" An aerial Captain Falcon descended, throwing his signature punch in the process. Black Shadow was sent flying.
"How could my plan fail? It was foolproof!" said Black Shadow. "The important thing is that I know you can be beaten. In a race, mainly. But just a race isn't enough to prove you're nothing more than a pathetic little worm."
An elongated arm of darkness appeared from Black Shadow's arm, tightly gripping Captain Falcon and pushing him against the ground. The arm relocated from Falcon's back to his neck, choking the racer. Excitebiker drove into the arm, deflecting the darkness and freeing Captain Falcon.
"He's back? How come the explosive didn't work?" questioned Black Shadow.
"There's more than one Excitebiker around these parts," stated the second Excitebiker. Excitebiker reached out a hand to help Captain Falcon up.
"One so evil as you can't ever be as good a racer as we are," said Captain Falcon. Taking it as a challenge, Shadow teleported into his vehicle of choice: the Black Bull. The heroic racer of the flaming fist mounted the Blue Falcon.
Black Bull and Blue Falcon clashed and collided, neither exerting more power than the other. The tie became broken as Excitebiker pushed as assistance to the Blue Falcon, and the Black Bull was launched back. A large orb of darkness was generated around the Black Bull, fired at the Blue Falcon. Using the front of the Blue Falcon as a ramp, Excitebiker became airborne, using the spin of his front wheel to reflect the orb.
After the biker's landing, the racers watched Black Shadow hit with his own attack. The vehicle was flipped over on its back, as Excitebiker and Captain Falcon performed a driving forth combo attack to launch Black Shadow far away.
"Well, I may not be the fastest racer in Nintendo, but I sure am alive," joked Captain Falcon.
"And the funny thing is, that Excitebiker wasn't even the fastest of the bunch, yet he still won."
"Oh boy. Does 457 kilometers per hour mean anything around here?"