I don't own Twilight. S.M. does. I do own a Twilight popcorn bucket

I would like to thank my one reviewer at this time A-VampyGirl-In-A-WolfyWorld for their wonderful reviews and support!

Chapter 4

High School Hell also known as FMD

(FMD: Fuck my death)

"Good morning Forks! It's another lovely winter day in this great town. The temperature today should be in the mid 50's. Currently its 42 degrees…"

God damn its early, as I slam my hand down on my alarm. Wait, did he say Forks? Crap I'm still in this place, so that means (shudder) school. I have to leave my toasty bed for this freezer of a house. I swear Charlie has set the house temperature to 30 below. I'm going to invest in an electric blanket, maybe an electric bra and panty set too. Don't want the twins to freeze, `cause right now I could cut glass. I quickly get out the bed and run to my front bedroom window, good Charlie has left like he was suppose to. Now I can shower in peace. I grab my shower bag and run into the bathroom and get the hot water going. As I wait for the water to heat up I decided to finally check out Bella's, I mean my body in the full length mirror on the back of the bathroom door.

First thing I think is the Bella Swan from the books is a complete moron if she didn't think she had a rocking body. What the hell with all the insecurity issue? I mean I'm petite, I can't weigh more then 105 (if that), I got curves in the right places, my ass is firm, my boobs are very nice size. I must be a size 2 on the bottom but at least a 38 C cup on top. Shit I can make this body work. I quickly do my shower routine and jump out. I brush out my hair and start looking for a hair dryer. My god this girl doesn't even have a hair dryer, crap! Ponytail it is for today, I'm going to find a hair dryer somewhere in this town after school. I checked out the poor choose in clothing yesterday when I unpacked. Not one piece of sexy underwear. Yeah, I know she is a virgin, but hey when you wear sexy underwear and even if no one ever sees it, you still feel sexy wearing it. My grandmother had sexier underwear than this girl. God I hope the Cullens are here and Alice can take me shopping. I find a pair of black skinny jeans but no decent top to wear on the first day starting a new school. I think I'll check out Charlie's closet and see if he might have something to work with. I find a dress shirt tucked in the back of his closet that he has never worn. How do I know? The price tag is still in it; yellowed with age. He won't miss it. It's a perfect shade of royal blue, and I think I have a nice black belt I can tie it all together. I run and get my outfit put on, grab my Doc Martins which have seen better days and throw on a tiny bit of make-up. Just some mascara and lip gloss. Perfect! Damn school won't know me as, a shy Bella this time, this Bella will kick ass if she gets annoyed with those pesky little school boys, oh their grandchildren will feel it. I run down the stairs and grab something for breakfast. After looking through the cabinets I realize toast is the breakfast of champions, I'm going to have to go grocery shopping also after school today. Only so much you can make with eggs and Rainer beer. I spy the food money jar on top of the fridge and stuff the money in my wallet. I look at the time, "Shit, I got to get going." I grab my keys to The Thing and my backpack and run out the door.

I finally get The Thing to the school after much protest of going faster than 25 MPH. I scope out the office and enter into the welcoming heat. There sits little Mrs. Cope, I think she was the same secretary I had, when I went to High School in Illinois. Well, they all look the same to me even the ones at my kids' school.

"Yes dear; my I help you?"

"Bella Swan, I start school today."

There is the look. You know the look of pity because you got a flighty fucked up mother, I'm used to it.

"Ahh, yes Isabella."

"Bella please!"

"Alright Bella, here is your class list, a map of the school and please get all your teachers to sign this slip and hand it in at the end of the day."

I glance over the list and notice I'm fucked. History, English, Art good I know I won't have a problem in that. Math, Bio, and Gym big problem. Maybe I can reduce that by one.

"Mrs. Cope? I have a question."

"Yes, Dear."

"I took two years of PE in Phoenix and I know the state of Washington only requires one year of PE for graduation. I would like to switch my PE class with something like Choir if I can. Trust me Mrs. Cope you don't want me to take any extra PE. Let's just say I'm a one girl disaster when it comes to almost anything at requires eye hand coordination. In the last four years," going to have to fudge a bit here, "I have broken 20 bones, including my left femur and both of my arms. Of those 20, 10 happen in PE."

"Oh my dear, let me check," she quickly scans her computer "Perfect the Concert Choir is in the same block as your PE class was going on so let me print off a new one for you and you can get on your way. Please dear be careful."

Easy as Jessica Stanley.

I smile brightly at Mrs. Cope and thank her for her trouble.

I walk out of the office and slam right into a wall. What the fuck? I nearly land on my ass when a cold hand grabs my arm and stops me from falling. Oh my god, it's the Pixie!

"So sorry," she says very apologetically.

Being the dumb ass I reply. "It's o.k. Alice." OH FUCKING MEOW!

Alice's eyes get huge, as well as mine I think. I just turn and walk quickly to my truck, praying it starts on the first try so I can get over to student parking and hall my frozen ass to my first class. I really hope I don't have any Cullens in my class because this is going to spread like wildfire among them. I sit and think, maybe this idea I just came up with will work and Edward won't get wind of it.

As I drive my car slowly around the school, away from student parking, I talk out loud hoping Alice receives this message. "Alice, I don't know if you will see this but block this from Edward at all costs. Meet me during lunch in the woods behind the school and I will explain a few things, but not everything because there isn't time. Just wait until I leave after getting water. Edward needs to find something out about me on his own. It's nothing bad per say it will just be annoying to him. Just trust me Alice, I'm going to be Edward's MATE and I do know what that means and we will be sisters one day. Just don't bring Jasper; he is too thirsty to be around me at the moment." With that I pull into the student parking lot and see that freaking shiny Volvo he loves so much, but no Cullens in sight. Whew. I glance up at the school and I see Alice Cullen looking at me, and then slightly nod's her head. Cool, shit might work out after all. I smile and nod back, and in return I get the full Cullen toothy smile, damn those teeth are white! Reminds me of that episode of Friends when Ross got his teeth whiten and they glowed in the dark. As she disappears into the school, I take one last look around and say. "Welcome to High School hell, fuck my death."