(Italics are flashbacks / Dreams)
Rachel hadn't fallen asleep yet, her mind didn't allow her to although her eyelids were getting heavier with each waking moment. She decided to check on Lindsay, the young girl had looked so exhausted earlier. It was the maternal instincts that kicked in which caused her to slip quietly out of her own bed and across the hall. She had made sure Lindsay didn't lock the door after what had happened in the bathroom earlier. She wasn't sure if Lindsay even realised what she had said or if she was serious or not. She wasn't going to take any risks and wait to find out.
She pushed the door open slightly leaving enough room for her to just look in briefly, poking her head around to see Lindsay fast asleep. She smiled briefly, glad that the girl was finally able to relax even if it was whilst she wasn't conscious. She stepped back slightly the floorboard creaked making her pause as Lindsay groaned slightly in her sleep before falling back into silence. Creeping back into her own room Rachel slid back into bed quickly falling into a deep sleep as her tiredness caught up with her suddenly. Both were sleeping peacefully, but of course it wasn't easy to keep the nightmares away, especially for Lindsay.
''I have a game to play Lindsay'' Her fathers voice rang through her ears. ''It's just for us though, you can't tell mum, she'll hate you otherwise'' The venom in his words going unnoticed by his 11 year old daughter. ''She'll be jealous that I love you more than her'' With each word her father took another menacing step towards her.
''Why? Mum loves me, she won't hate me'' The confused 11 year old girl questioned as he dad pinned her against the wall. ''Dad? what are you doing?'' She cried out as he pushed his body forward into her as she squirmed tying to get free. She didn't like this game at all.
''Now now Lindsay, you're not going to ruin the game are you?'' He asked smirking grabbing her arm roughly as his grip instantly tightened around her bare skin.
''You're hurting me daddy! Let go'' Lindsay whimpered.
''Shut up'' He growled stepping back suddenly before slinging his daughter over his shoulder and heading towards the stairs and into his room. ''Now you can't tell mum okay? She will be upset that I brought you in here. Do you understand Lindsay?'' He asked once again grabbing her arm twisting it behind her slightly as she cried out. ''Do you understand?''
''Yes dad'' She whispered trying to stop the tears that were filling her own eyes as he shoved her down onto her parents bed.
''Good girl'' He whispered as he slowly leaned down and caressed her cheek.
''What-'' Lindsay started only to get cut off.
''Shut up'' He growled his attitude changing fast as he looked down at her laying there.
Lindsay shot up breathing heavily, a scream caught in the back of her throat. She quickly took in her surroundings realizing it was only a dream... of her past. Tears quickly started to fall down her face as she brought her knees up to her chest rocking herself back and forth as she cried. There was no way she was going to back to sleep after that so she just stayed there. It was only 2am, it was going to be a long night. She needed something to do, something to occupy herself with so that she wouldn't let her mind wander. She desperately tried to think of something else whenever her mind started going back to that place.
Looking around the room she couldn't really make much out. She was able to see the faint outline of the wardrobe in the corner and the desk on the opposite side of the room but there was nothing that would be of use right now, nothing that would distract her. She just sighed, rubbing at her eyes wiping the tears away harshly. Why was she crying, it was all over now. Everything was. Sighing again she got up throwing the covers off herself as she slowly crept towards the doors opening it slowly. The house was dark but she was able to faintly make out the surroundings as she tip-toed down the hallway and down the stairs slowly. Walking into the living room she fumbled around for the light switch. She found it eventually as the room was slowly illuminated by the glowing light hanging from the ceiling.
She wouldn't mind if Lindsay sat down here and watched TV right? She wasn't sure of anything anymore, it's like she had forgotten how to live whilst being inside. She wasn't sure of what she was allowed to do and what she wasn't. She wanted to just sit and distract herself watching something of a different reality but now she wasn't so fond of the idea. She carried on walking through the kitchen and into the utility where the backdoor was. As soon as the garden came into sight she just wanted to be outside in the cold nights air, hoping it would give her some sort of pull to what was real.
Reaching for the key which she had seen Miss Mason hide on top of the shelf earlier she unlocked the door stepping out into the cool air, the cold slabs beneath her bare feet sending a shiver through her body. Wrapping her arms around herself instantly she stepped out further until she stumbled into something. Looking to her side there were two deck like chairs on the patio, both with cushions on them. She smiled slightly to herself at how her own mum would always make sure to bring them inside in case it rained which was quite a lot of the time.
Her smile quickly dropped as she remembered the time her dad was shouting at her for borrowing one of the pillows to sit on the grass. He had walked outside a few minutes after her mum had taken Emily out, storming right up to her waving his arms around out of frustration.
''LINDSAY WHAT ARE YOU DOING!'' He shouted not caring if the whole street heard as he continued walking towards her. ''GET UP NOW'' He growled yanking her up roughly by her arm. ''What are you doing with that?'' His voice lowered to barely above a whisper but the venom in his voice was still there.
''I was j-just sitting on the grass'' She stuttered in response under her fathers fierce gaze.
''Well don't!'' He snapped. ''You aren't allowed to use those pillows okay!?'' In fear Lindsay just nodded quickly before he looked around, releasing his grip on her shoving her down to the ground. He had kicked her once in the side before grabbing the cushion and walking off into the house.
That was the thing you see, he got angry over the smallest things. It completely terrified Lindsay, she knew it was wrong. It didn't feel right but she didn't know what to do in fear he would hurt her even more, that her mum would hate her for it like he had said. The threat he made so long ago still ringing in her ears. Shaking the thought from her head she hesitantly sat down on the chair, curling up into her usual ball as she stared up at the few visible stars in silence.
Rachel woke up to the loud blaring alarm of her clock at 5:30am. Groaning slightly she rolled over hitting the button as she stared at the wall before remembering about Lindsay. She all but practically jumped out of bed quickly pulling over her dressing gown as she crossed the hall, the door was wide open. No Lindsay. Panic set in, no. She was fine, she was right there a few hours ago. After checking the bathroom she headed down the stairs being careful not to trip over her own feet, the living room light was on? She had turned it off last night hadn't she? She thought to herself before she walked through into the kitchen which was abnormally cold. The heating should be on? It was then that she noticed the backdoor wide open.
''Lindsay?'' She called cautiously stepping outside until her eyes landed on the girl curled up in the chair... asleep? How long had she been out here. ''Lindsay?'' She repeated walking over, crouching down next to the chair shaking her shoulder lightly. ''Lindsay, wake up'' She sat up suddenly unexpected, her eyes snapping open whilst taking a sharp intake of breath. ''Hey it's okay'' She said softly.
''Miss Mason..?''
''Yeah.'' She smiled softly. ''How long have you been out here Lindsay?''
''I d-don't know. I couldn't sleep so I came down here''
''And fell asleep outside?'' She finished for her trying to hold back a laugh. ''You were asleep when I checked on you, what happened?'' Rachel walked around sitting down on the edge of the chair next to her as she waited for a response.
''I just couldn't sleep'' She shrugged not wanting to go into anymore detail and Rachel got the hint. She couldn't force her into say anything. ''What time is it?'' Lindsay stretched quickly, the outdoors suddenly seeming a lot colder than it had before.
''About six'' Rachel paused for a moment before speaking. ''Lindsay last night, in the bathroom you said something...'' Her sentence trailed off for a moment before she continued. ''You aren't going to try anything are you? You can get through this okay?''
''What do you mean am I going to try something?''
''You know what I'm asking Lindsay'' Rachel's voice was stern now as Lindsay just looked down.
''No'' Her voice was suddenly blunt again, her expression falling as her mask quickly came back up. The mask she had used so well before anyone knew anything about her. She took one look at Rachel's worried etched face before repeating herself. ''No. I won't'' The only response she got was a sigh.
''Lindsay...''
''I won't'' She snapped quickly watching Miss Mason recoil slightly at the sudden change in tone. ''S-sorry. I didn't-''
''It's fine Lindsay'' Reaching forward she took the girls hand in her own squeezing it lightly reassuringly. She could see the questioning behind her eyes.
The instant she had snapped her eyes had filled with regret, pain. There was something much deeper going on inside her head then she could ever start to imagine. Every little thing seemed to trigger a different emotion. It was hard to count, in the space of the short conversation they had seen already she had gotten several things off of Lindsay. She was tired, oh so tired. The dark bags under her eyes were enough to tell her that but there was more too it, the way she looked, her eyes seemed so old. The bright spark had faded, she looked so... empty. Her eyes were filled with so much more... pain, hurt, anger, guilt. The list could go on forever if she really looked.
Lindsay wasn't oblivious though, she noticed how Miss Mason was watching her all the time. Analyzing her every move, look, breath. She wasn't going to be let out of her sight anytime soon judging by things. After last night she wasn't surprised, she was actually surprised that she hadn't done anything more extreme yet. It was better that way... right?
I'm aiming to update this like every other day but sometimes it may be a bit late. I also go back to school on Thursday so if updates start to become less regular I'm sorry. - Please let me know what you think of this story? Idn