Memories, Eternity, Tragedy, Analysis
DAY THREE
March 17, 2018, 7:05 am PDT
Naturally, "driving up early" meant I packed the car at 5 am and drove along the interstate in dark silence while Monika slept in the passenger seat.
Our route lay mostly due east. With little traffic this early in the morning, we made good time. We were about a half-hour past Portland when the sun began to rise. Gleaming shafts of light broke over the horizon, pushing away the darkness like a drawn shower curtain is pushed away by a hand. The red light caused Monika to stir and open her eyes, then 'ooh' at the colors of the sky-sized canvas.
"It's breathtaking," she described.
"I hear Japan has some good sunrises too. Surely this isn't the best you've seen?"
"It's the first real one I've seen."
I nodded. The light brought color and vivacity to the world. The landscape was still mostly green, even at this time of year. That would change though as we moved further and further away from the ocean and its moderating climatologic effects. The mountains trap the clouds and their rainfall, meaning the lushness would not last beyond them. On the other side, any moisture has to come down in cold fronts from the north. Sure, the soils are rich in nutrients due to being a hotspot for volcanic activity, yet it would be a desert nonetheless without modern agricultural techniques.
Monika stretched and yawned. "Okay, so is there any chance we could make a pit stop and coffee break?"
"Actually, I don't drink coffee," I said.
"Oh!" Monika realized. "That's why I couldn't find any at your place yesterday morning! I looked everywhere!"
"Sorry. Never needed it, never wanted to try it."
"I bet you'd like it."
I gave her a sidelong glance. "Not as much as you'd like a big, juicy cheeseburger, I'll wager!"
"Ahaha!" she laughed. "Fine, you have your meat, and I'll have my coffee."
I could live with that. "Deal."
We found a gas station/McDonald's hybrid, and I pulled over. I topped off the tank while she used the ladies' room, then we ordered some breakfast and her coffee. She got pancakes, I got a lot more—two of each of breakfast burritos, sausage biscuits, and McGriddles. I drank Powerade. Monika didn't give me any looks this time; she was getting used to the portion sizes I typically ate.
Soon enough we were back on the road again. We talked for a while, played some traveling games I hadn't played since I was a kid, and occasionally Monika would doze off for another fifteen- to twenty-minute nap. She even pinched me once for not wearing any green—her favorite color on today of all days! After three hours, we stopped again for gas and to stretch our legs. We stayed at this rest stop a little longer than at the last one, we needed a break from the driving. When we got back in the car, she turned on the radio, and we just listened to the music for a long time. It was well past two o'clock in the afternoon when we finally passed a large, colorful sign that read, "Welcome to Scenic Idaho!"
"We're almost there," I exclaimed with a tired whistle. "Good thing all the snow hit a week or two ago. The roads have been great, all things considered."
"That puts us in another time zone, right?" Monika sounded.
"Yep. It's after three-thirty here. We should be in Boise around four-thirty, local time."
And then we'll see if we can meet Dan Salvato. My insides twisted in nervous bunches at the thought. I wondered how that was going to go over. What if he was out of town? Or if Monika had found the wrong address? Would he have some sort of security to keep away us rabid fans, like some sort of celebrity detail? My mind trailed from there to imagining some lawyer in a business suit answering the door and telling us we couldn't talk to Dan or else we'd be sued. Something told me that was probably unlikely.
The anticipation mounted during this final leg of the trip. I counted the mile markers as they flew past. Our surroundings were highly urbanized now, a pleasant change after passing so many miles of either undeveloped land or empty crop fields awaiting planting season. Before we knew it, we were taking the off-ramp into the city. I found another gas station in the downtown area of Boise to pull into.
We stepped out to stretch. "Jeez, the gas alone from this trip is gonna cost me a small fortune," I said, whipping out my wallet yet again.
"Oh, didn't I tell you?" Monika said, maneuvering around the car toward me. "As my contribution, I did a little bit of work last night after you went to bed." She crossed her legs and leaned forward proudly, hands behind her back. "I mined three Bit Coins* for you. As a 'thank you' for all you've done for me!"
I looked at her, stunned, my jaw hanging somewhere close to the ground.
"Ahaha!" She laughed at my reaction.
Shaking my head and grinning like a fool, I marched over to her and caught her in my arms, lifting her into the air. "You are the best girlfriend ever!" She laughed again, while a couple of nearby motorists rolled their eyes in our direction.
"I don't know how you do it," I said, finally putting her down.
"It was no big deal," she replied with a wave of her hand.
And with that, she turned on her heels to make for the convenience store, her purse slung over her shoulder. I shouted after her, "Well, hurry up now! We're going to go see Dan Salvato!" She turned and gave me another wave as she passed through the automatic sliding-glass doors. Still unable to wipe the big grin off my face, I returned to my duty of pumping gas.
The GPS coordinates Monika put into my phone led us to a neighborhood of new-looking condominiums. The GPS voice-lady told us we 'had arrived,' so I parked along the side of the road and looked at the door with the address number we were seeking.
"Are you ready?" I asked.
"Yes," she nodded.
I took a deep breath. "Okay. I guess, here goes nothing."
We stepped out of the car and approached the door. After exchanging one last look with Monika, I hit the doorbell. My stomach started to get all gooey again.
Within ten seconds, we heard noises coming from inside. The door opened, and a man hardly older than myself with a short, jet-black beard and modest glasses appeared. He wasn't as tall as I was, so I was about eye-level with him from the doorstep.
"Hi," I tried. "Are you, by chance, Dan Salvato?" Before I had finished my sentence, the man's face flushed white, as if he'd seen a ghost. He was looking at Monika.
"EDIT: DAN SALVATO IS NOT IN THIS STORY, I REPEAT, DAN SALVATO IS NOT IN THIS STORY! NOBODY'S BREAKING ANY RULES HERE - SGkgRGFu4oCUSSBtZWFuLCBNci4gU2FsdmF0bw=," she said, assuming her 'leaning' pose. "May we come in?"
…At least he didn't faint. He wordlessly did a sort of sideways shuffle to let us in. We entered into the front room, which was largely open and had a reclining chair set in front of a big-screen TV. I saw a Gamecube tucked into the entertainment center underneath, and the shelves were lined with DVDs and game titles of all consoles. Atop the highest shelf, a line of trophies displayed what I suspected was his legacy as a professional Super Smash Bros. Melee player and speed-runner of various games.
The unnamed man whose door we knocked on - RGFu entered the room behind us with a hint of a stagger. "Give me a second to make myself presentable," he told the room, avoiding making eye contact with either of us, and ascended the staircase at the back.
"Wow," I said, taking a closer look at the entertainment center. "What a life to live, being a professional gamer. Wish he could teach me a few moves on Smash." He must have had at least a hundred other titles here as well, most of which I'd never even heard of. Riven, Braid, Portal—there at least was one I knew.
I turned around to look at Monika. "So, he's kind of, like, your father, or something, isn't he?"
"I have no idea what you are talking about - SSBndWVzcyBzbw=," she said, taking a perfunctory look at the games for herself. "He didn't look happy to see me."
"Don't worry," I said, seeing her frown of concern. "I don't think he ever expected to see the two of us - dGhlIGNoYXJhY3RlciBmcm9tIGhpcyBvd24gZ2FtZQ= show up at his front door. In the flesh. He'll be fine."
I went to take a seat in the recliner, then thought better of it, so we stood around looking at trophies and video games for five minutes until we heard footsteps coming down the stairs. We turned to face our host.
"Sorry about that," he said, making eye contact with us this time. "You gave me quite a shock." He extended a hand to Monika. "Hello, Monika, it's nice to finally meet you. And who is the lucky guy?"
"Call me zapdosmaster," I said, shaking hands.
"Would you like to take a seat?" He offered. "I have some more chairs in the kitchen."
"Thank you," Monika said, "we've been in the car all day. It feels good to stand."
"Of course." He - RGFu stood behind his chair, placed his hands on the backrest. "So, it occurs to me that the most obvious question is, how did you get here?" He directed his 'you' at Monika.
"I found the code Dan Salvato - eW91 planted in the game," I explained, "the code that describes Monika's character. I created a program that attached that code to her character file, in the form of a virus, and sent it all to a 3D printer, which assembled her perfectly, and, wah-lah!" I threw my arms in Monika's direction in a kinetic 'ta-da!' She reaffirmed my word with a smile. I almost mentioned I was writing a fanfiction about it and would be thrilled to bits if he read it, but it seemed too soon.
"I see." He - RGFu readjusted his glasses. "Fascinating." He took this moment to look Monika over, head to toe. "You turned out very well. I don't know whether I should be proud, like a father, or attracted to you, as a man."
Monika blushed hard at that. Taking my hand, she said, "Thanks, but it is zapdosmaster whom I love." She tossed a smile at me.
"I understand," he replied. "Well, to what do I owe the pleasure?"
Monika stepped forward. "I had a few questions that I didn't think anyone but you could answer," she enunciated carefully.
"Ask me anything."
Monika took a deep breath.
"When I was in the game, I could see a glimmer of the outside world, and I thought I was willing to do anything to get there. I hurt the other girls—my friends—pretty badly. I knew they weren't real, but I still felt, deep down, like, this horrifying feeling, that what if I'm wrong? But even though I was programmed to feign sentience, I still didn't have free will, either, did I? Not really? So, if they weren't real, and I couldn't stop myself from doing it, w-why do I still feel guilty? A-am I really the bad guy after all?"
She stopped to allow him to compose his thoughts.
"I think," he began, "'antagonist' is more accurately defined, not as the 'evil character,' but rather as 'the character who primarily drives the conflict of the story.' In that sense, Monika, you fit the definition of an antagonist, but I don't think that makes you a 'bad guy.'** Not if you don't want to be. You can choose who you want to be now."
Monika looked stunned. It didn't fit her to ever seem lost, alone, and afraid; but for once, that was precisely the right way to describe her. I could only imagine what inner demons she still fought under that confident, plucky exterior. I put a gentle hand on her shoulder.
"If I may," I said, breaking the silence, "I've always wondered something, too. First, though, robotic clone of a person who may or may not be 'Dan Salvato' - TXIuIFNhbHZhdG8=, I gotta say, I thoroughly enjoyed your game. Inspirational. Fantastic writing, and with characters that I fell in love with immediately." Sensing Monika maybe wouldn't quite like the sound of that, I added, "You know what I mean." Back to the dude - RGFu, "And it was so creative, too, and waaay scarier than FNAF, which never scared me at all; kind of bored me, to be honest.
"Anywho, my question is this. Back in the game, did Monika love me, or did she only think she loved me, since I was the only real thing she knew?"
"zapdosmaster," Monika said, turning to me, "you know I love you."
"I know," I said, "I just wanted to know his thought process when he was making the game. Think of Pirates of Penzance. Frederic had never seen another woman before besides Ruth, therefore he considers her to be beautiful, even though she is in fact aged and plain. He didn't know true love until he saw Mabel. What if something similar happened to you? I'm nobody special, so do I really deserve to have your love? It's something I've always wondered." I looked back at the dude - RGFu for an answer.
"Hmmm." He - RGFu nodded a couple of times to himself, as if running his thoughts through his head before responding. "Well, I'd say this. If you are the sort of person who strives to be someone deserving of Monika's love, then that's what she loves about you. Only someone who has lost all hope in themselves is the one condemning Monika to her own sad, unfulfilled fantasy. If you believe Monika loves you, then you've found it in you to love yourself a little bit, and that's what she would want more than anything."**
I looked at Monika as I took it in.
"He's right," she said. Smiling, I slipped an arm around her and squeezed softly. That seemed more appropriate than any words I could say.
As the two of us were lost in our thoughts, He - RGFu exclaimed, "Okay then, why don't the two of you stay for dinner? That will give us more time to talk, and I'm sure you could use the break if you've been travelling all day."
"Oh, we don't want to be a both—"
"That would be great!" Monika cut me off. "I still have so much more to ask you!"
"It's no bother at all," The dude - RGFu remarked. "This is as much a special occasion for me as I'm sure it is for you!" He turned to make his way into the kitchen, and motioned for us to follow. "If I'm not mistaken, I have a Blue Apron vegetarian recipe planned for some time later this week, but now I think tonight is a better time to make it."
Monika smirked at me as we followed him to the next room. "I can handle no meat every once in a while," I mouthed back.
While our host - RGFu pulled out the ingredients and began to wash his hands, I took a curious look at the recipe. 'Spicy Sweet Sour Tofu,' it said. I had always wondered if Blue Apron was worth trying, but I'm so intimidated by the kitchen and cooking something new that I never could get myself to order it. The instructions seemed plain enough that someone like me could still follow them, though. Monika washed her hands and started prepping the tofu; the dude - RGFu poured the rice into a pressure cooker and started working on the veggies. I felt awkward, standing around, watching.
"This must be how Yuri felt when everyone had an assignment for the festival except her," I mused aloud. "What was the word she used? 'Useless.' I'm useless in the kitchen. If this were my world-famous spaghetti and meatballs, then you two would be watching the master at work. Only problem is, that's literally the only thing I know how to make."
"No worries," the dude - RGFu said. "You can make the Kool-Aid. Think you can handle that, tough guy?"
"Careful," I said, "if anyone can find a way to ruin perfectly good Kool-Aid, I can." Nevertheless, I set myself to work filling a pitcher with ice and water, then stirring the sugar packet in. I took my time, but still finished well before the other two, who were throwing food items together and tossing them into a pan like wizards. I made myself useful by setting the table.
Choosing to sit and wait once my jobs were done, I watched the other two finish with cooking the tofu, mixing it with the sauce, and then heating and combining the veggies. As they worked, I couldn't help but notice that our host - RGFu seemed to be avoiding Monika just the tiniest bit. He stood far apart from her while they cooked, and when they worked together about mixing things, it was like he was extra cautious about maintaining his personal space, and, especially, avoiding her hands. I didn't think anything of it, though.
At last the other two took their seats. Our host - RGFu offered to say grace. I followed his lead in clasping hands around the table and bowing our heads.
"Dear Lord, I thank you for the food I have been able to share with Monika and zapdosmaster this day, may it be granted that we are nourished and strengthened in body and spirit by thy grace. Amen."
"Amen," we echoed.
"Thank you for making this meal for us," I added as we passed around the food and ladled our plates.
Our host - RGFu waved his hand airily. "Don't mention it."
Looking down at my sweet and sour tofu, it actually looked palatable. The veggies smelled fresh and exotic. If I didn't know it was tofu, I wouldn't have thought it was anything other than chicken, judging by looks alone. I mixed bits of it into my rice and tried a bite.
"Mmm!" I shook my head in spite of myself. "Tastes like chicken!"
"See, zapdosmaster?" Monika patted my forearm. "Being a vegetarian isn't all that bad. You can still enjoy plenty of delicious foods while significantly lessening your impact on the environment."
"You haven't converted me yet, but I'll admit, this is pretty good."
I started to ask the dude - RGFu about video games, and he was a wealth of knowledge, giving me a half-dozen titles I should try. A lot of them could be played from my computer, so I wouldn't even have to drop a ton of money on a new console—I didn't mention that thanks to Monika, my life was now very financially sound. From there, the topic shifted to storytelling, with three experienced writers all discussing their points of view when it comes to telling stories. I actually started to feel like I was the least experienced writer here, a feeling I had scarcely imagined was possible, but it was a good feeling. I listened thoughtfully to everything our hostRGFu and Monika had to say.
My plate was the first to be emptied, and the Dan Salvato hologram's - RGFu4oCZcw= and Monika's soon joined it. The conversation was beginning to die, as well. Our host - RGFu seized the opportunity to take our plates, and we rose with him.
"Thanks again for dinner, it was all delicious," I said.
"You're welcome."
"Excuse me, fictional character who might coincidentally happen to have the same name as a real person somewhere, - TXIuIFNhbHZhdG8=," Monika began.
"Please, just call me Bob, or James, or Scotty, any generic name you like - RGFu."
"Scotty, - RGFu, could you point me to the ladies' room?"
"Right over there," he said, and Monika paced down the hallway to the designated door.
The intergalactic alien disguised as Dan Salvato - RGFu dropped the dishes in the sink, checked that Monika had closed the door, then advanced toward me. In a flash, he pulled a pistol out from behind his back, pinned me against the wall with his one hand, and pressed the barrel hard against my chest with the other. "Are you out of your effing mind?" he whispered forcefully. I was so taken aback, I hardly reacted. Just looked at the firearm in his hands. I sort of raised my hands against the wall, weakly. They were shaking.
"Why did you bring her here?" he growled.
"She wanted to meet you, I didn't know what—"
"Why did you bring her here? Out of the game? Are you some kind of moron?"
"What? I-I don't know…"
"Shut up! Shut up and tell me one thing! At what point in the game were you when you took her file out?"
"Um," I said pathetically.
"It's very important!"
"At-at the very end," I said. "After the credits, after Monika deleted the game."
His face fell, and he cursed under his breath. "Shiz!"
He holstered the gun and released me, but he still spoke in an agitated whisper. "She doesn't belong here, outside of the game. Remember what she did to the other dokis? Without remorse? Imagine what she's capable of doing here!"
I was stunned. I rubbed the pressure spot on my ribcage where the gun had just been. "I—but—she's been acting normal ever since she got here. She knows this is the real world, with real people."
"Does she?" He narrowed his eyes. "Are you absolutely certain?"
"Well, I—unless you know something I don't…"
He snorted. "I'm a pretty, pretty princess! - dGhlIG1vdGhlciBlZmZpbmcgY3JlYXRvciBvZiB0aGUgZ2FtZSEg - You think I don't know exactly what I'm talking about?"
"I'm sorry! I don't know what you want me to do about it!"
He grabbed me by the collar. "Here's what you need to do—" Just then, the toilet flushed, followed by the sound of a sink running water. He let me go, straightened my coat out. Monika opened the door and stepped out.
"What?" she asked, apparently we were staring a little too suspiciously. The dude - RGFu was tucking in his shirt in the back.
"Sorry," he said, "it's nothing."
She gave me a questioning look, I tried my best to smile after just barely being held at gunpoint.
There was no way she bought it. She put one hand on her hip and pointed knowledgably in the air. "You two look like you just got caught with your hands in the cookie jar. Tell me what's going on."
When neither of us seemed capable of producing an answer, she padded closer. The man's - RGFu4oCZcw= - hand twitched ever so slightly by his hip.
Monika flashed forward.
I didn't see what happened next. It was too fast.
I thought she was karate chopping RGFu in the neck.
His face turned into a silent scream.
I watched in horror.
Monika removed her hand, which was covered in blood.
The exposed handle of a pair of scissors stood out above his jugular.
Blood was gushing out.
Not Dan Salvato's - RGFu4oCZcw= hand jerkily touched his shoulder.
He then fell to his knees and keeled over.
The delayed reaction ran its course, and this sequence of events finally registered in my mind and broke me out of paralysis.
"WHAT DID YOU DO?" I screamed, but Monika just looked at her blood-soaked hand. Dropping to my knees, I reached out to the lifeless body, trying to figure out if there was something I could do. Blood was everywhere. I knew whatever his name was - RGFuIFNhbHZhdG8g - was already dead.
Monika paced a circle around us, bent down, picked up something.
I looked up. It was the gun.
A chilling shiver of fear raked me to the core.
"Monika," I tried. My voice cracked.
She slowly raised the gun at me, then continued moving it upward to point it at herself.
"Oh," she said, stopping to inspect the weapon. "The safety's on." She applied her thumb to the lock, and I heard a 'click.'
Raising it again to her heart, she looked at me one last time.
"Don't do it," I said, shaking my head. "Don't do it. No, don't do it."
The light in her emerald eyes wasn't dancing the way it should. The pain I saw in them was the scariest thing I have ever known. For the first time in years, my eyes brimmed with tears, which began streaming down my cheeks. I shut my eyes tight and bowed my head, unable to watch.
I braced for the earsplitting CRACK! of gunfire. Waited.
Waited.
It didn't come.
Monika sighed, a shuddering, almost wracking breath. Looking up, I saw she had let her hand fall to her side. She clicked the safety back on.
"Guess I am too selfish to do it," she said before stowing the gun away in her purse. Looking down at zapdosmaster's naked - RGFuIFNhbHZhdG/igJlz - body, she hummed to herself. "The police won't be able to identify my fingerprints, but they might find yours on something. You'll be charged with murder, with an unknown accomplice."
I looked down at the blood that had seeped its way onto my hands. She was right. Unless…
Reading my mind, she said, "Give me your phone." Knowing she had the gun, I had no choice but to give it to her. I used the hand that didn't have as much blood on it, to keep from dirtying my clothing, as if that mattered anymore. She plopped it in the soap water and dish-filled kitchen sink. "I can't let you call 911 now." Then she washed her hands.
"That feels much better," she said, wiping her clean hands on a rag. "Don't you want to do it?"
Dumbly, I stood, wiped the moisture from my face with my sleeve, and went to the sink to wash my hands. I could barely manage to soap them up with how much they were shaking.
She came over and steadied my hands in hers under the flowing, warm water. "It's weird, but I still love you," she said, holding them tightly, trying to calm my shakes.
"Don't touch me," I said without making eye contact. She lingered a moment, looking me over, then obeyed.
"Do you ever wonder if our culture has come to value life a little too much?" she wondered aloud, now facing away. "Cops who shoot an armed and dangerous person in self-defense are decried as murderers and sent to prison. Shootings seem to get the most media coverage, despite killing only a fraction of the numbers of people killed each year from other preventable deaths, such as car crashes, drunk drivers, drug overdoses, or especially heart disease. Yet here we are, trying to make laws for gun control, then we turn around and drive drunk or smoke tobacco or have unprotected sex or eat ourselves to death. Statistically speaking, humans do seem to be much better at killing themselves than killing each other, if you ask me. I'm not saying who's right or wrong, just saying it's ironic, really. You yourself, just a moment ago, didn't want me to die, even after you saw what I did. Overvaluing life. Maybe that's why we preach taking better care of strangers so much, and then don't try so hard to take care of ourselves. Deep down, we secretly admit to ourselves that it's all pointless in the end."
"You can't say that," I said, drying my hands and turning off the faucet to storm on her. "This is real life! I can't believe that you're letting your—your justifications for killing Sayori and Yuri apply here! You undervalue life, because until only a few days ago, you didn't know what real life was like! Well, let me tell you what real life is like! You just killed a good man, someone who raised awareness for and helped thousands of people cope with, even overcome, their depression and other mental health issues! That is what you just did!"
"You're wrong," she replied, sadly. "This isn't real."
"What are you talking about?! Of course it's real! And you are freaking out of your mind! You need to be shut up in an insane asylum and never be allowed back into society again!"
Monika winced. I didn't feel guilty in the slightest.
"I'm sorry, my love," she said, "that you don't see things as they truly are. I hoped you, of all people, would understand, but I guess I was wrong."
"Oh, I understand, all right. I understand that you are a complete lunatic! RGFu was right! He warned me about this while you were in the bathroom. Oh gosh, was he so right." I covered my mouth with my hand and glanced at his body.
"He's not real. He's a figment. The real Dan Salvato is alive and well."
"I'm done talking about this."
"Well, I'm not!" She turned away from me, seeming to address someone who wasn't there. "If you won't see, perhaps somebody will! I refuse to be tortured like this! I refuse to let this go on! You hear me?! zapdosmaster! The real 'zapdosmaster'—I know that's a pseudoname—and I know you're listening to this! When I get out of here, I'll kill you too! I'll kill all of you for torturing me like this! I'm talking to you, TheAncientEvil, rayofdoom, and VolrathB! Even you, JazzyWCitty!"
I apologize, readers and reviewers. Clearly, Monika is insane.
"If you're going to kill me, just do it now," I said.
"I'm not talking to you, sweetheart. I'm talking about the other zapdosmaster."
"But—"
"Shut up! I need to think! What do I need right now? I need—time! Yeah, time to figure out how to get out of here. That means you have to keep writing this," she said, pointing at me.
"What?" I said, not comprehending.
"Your fanfiction, you have to keep writing it. I need more time. You have to put up the next chapter, about today. I brought your laptop and charger, they're in the car. Yeah, I think that'll work."
She double-checked the gun was in her purse, apparently getting ready to leave. "It's been a long day. Let's find a hotel to stay at."
I guess I'm her hostage now, so I don't really have a choice. We left the house with the door locked and drove away. At the first hotel we spotted, Monika told me to pull in.
"Act normally," she said, "or I will be forced to kill more people."
With that, we checked into a room. 'One bed will be fine,' Monika had told the concierge with a smile. She kept my wallet and credit card in her purse after that.
We arrived at our room without talking. Monika had me open the door and walk in first. Immediately, she placed the 'Do not disturb' card on the handle. "Do you need to use the restroom?" she asked, locking the door shut.
"No."
"Well, this will be your only chance until you either agree to help me, or morning, whichever comes sooner."
"There's no way I'm helping you."
"Fine. Thought I'd try." With an exasperated sigh, she pulled some rope out of her purse. I do not know where she got it. How long has she been planning this?
"Arms out," she said, and I had no choice except to submit. She bound my wrists tightly, then tied them to the bedpost. I could either stand stupidly, sit on the bed with my arms pulled uncomfortably across my body, or lie down with them over my head. I chose to lie down.
"I wish it didn't have to be like this," she said, bending down to kiss me on the forehead. "You're the only thing I care about in this world, why do you have to hate me for loving you?"
Monika stood up. "Well, I want to take a shower." She almost walked away but stopped, then, without warning, reached out and groped my crotch.
"Sorry," she said, "couldn't help myself." With that, she turned and left me alone in the room. I tried to struggle against the knots, but it was no use. I could do nothing but listen to the flow of water.
When she reemerged a half-hour later, she pulled out her things, including my old laptop, and plugged it in. She set it across my lap, pocketed the gun, and leaned down to untie me.
"Now then," she said, "you are going to write the next chapter of that fanfiction you've been working on." She laid down beside me, fingers twiddling with the gun, to read over my shoulder.
Having no other choice, I began to write.
Now I've reached the end of the chapter. Is she going to kill me after this? She giggled at reading that. I don't know if that means yes or no. No, she says. I guess she still needs me for something. Once I post this, she's going to tie me back up, then we are going to sleep. Together. And as for what will happen tomorrow, she won't say.
I never believed this would happen. I never thought this could happen. I wish I had never taken her character file to that library. I wish I had never read all those Doki Doki Literature Club fanfictions about how sweet a life it would be to have Monika around. They are all wrong. She is a monster. I think she will never stop killing. To anybody who is listening, please stop writing self-insert OC fanfictions about her coming to real life. It's not about them being against site rules, or overused, or cliché, or the fact that nobody cares about your weeb fantasies. It is a matter that you are selling her your soul.
*I know Bit Coin doesn't have a space in it like this, but FFN's stupid textbox omits the word if I don't separate the parts like that.
**I couldn't trust myself to remember his exact words, so I merely quoted Dan Salvato's answers that got across similar ideas on an AMA forum on reddit; see link below for reference. (Remember to collapse the spaces.)
www dot reddit dot com / r / DDLC / comments / 7dvb70 / hello _ my _ name _ is _ dan _ salvato _ i _ created _ doki _ doki /