Rachel groans as Santana tips back another tequila shot. Her friend is happily sucking on a lime while she looks around the club for a guy to take home tonight. Or preferably to his place since she would give the Latina all sorts of hell for being loud like she usually is when she gets drunk. Especially since she would have a hangover in the morning.

"San, I need a good nine hours of sleep or else I don't perform as well on stage! Can we please go home?"

"What you need is a good nine inches." She smirks and looks out. That's when she sees him. "And that man looks like he'll have the perfect amount to help you out."

Her jaw drops then scrunches up her nose. "I do not need a one night stand."

"Oh please chica. I know that your last lay left you highly unsatisfied."

The woman stands up and adjusts her breasts in her dress, leaving Rachel staring at her like she's lost her mind, and moves towards the man in question. "Hey sexy." She smiles coyly.

"Hi there." The man smirks and sips his beer.

"My friend over there," she nods her head to Rachel, "Tight red dress, cute perky tits, and legs for days, would like you show you a good time tonight."

"Is she a hooker?"

"The fuck? No. She's on Broadway. Maria to be exact." Santana shrugs her right shoulder and looks at her nails then up at the guy.

"So she can dance too huh? Since she's on Broadway?"

"Sure can. Flexible as hell."

He grins. "What's her name?"

"Rachel Berry."

"And what's your name?" Santana raises her eyebrow.

"Noah Puckerman. I go by Puck though."

Her eyes gaze over his body. "She'll call you Noah and snort in your face if you tell her that. Just let her. If you argue, she'll go all bat shit Jew crazy on you."

"Berry's a Jew?"

"Definitely don't call her that. But yeah she is." Her eyes narrow at him. "Why does that matter?"

Puck laughs. "Doesn't matter at all." Santana crosses her arms and gives him an unamused look. "Alright, I'll work my magic on your friend."

Santana watches happily as he leans over the table, whispering something in her ear. She can see Rachel rolling her eyes before moving her hand out so they can shake. Puck offers her his arm, her dainty hand moving through the hole to loop her arm with his, then they move out towards the front door.

A year later, Santana's fixing Rachel's veil while her best friend smoothes down any wrinkles on her wedding dress. "You know, you never told me what he said to you that night in the bar to make you leave with him."

"He asked if I wanted to get dinner since I was the only girl not eyeing him like a piece of meat. Then Noah took me to this wonderful Jewish deli that was near his apartment. We might have gone back to his place afterwards." She giggles and sweeps her bangs away.

"I told you all you need was nine inches." Her eyebrow raises.

Rachel blushes and meets Santana's eyes in the mirror. "More like nine and a half." She bites her bottom lip while her friend bends over laughing.

Prompt: youtube . com/watch?v =GzX4f4FZzFs&feature =sh_e_top&list=SL
starts at 1:29, but entire scene is funny.