He got home late. The Dark Lord had made him stay longer to make replenishing potions. Apparently the Lord found out some interesting information from Ollivander and was going to Romania to follow a lead. Most likely it concerns the wand he's looking for. It was probably for the better, the Dark Lord kept a low profile when he was out of the country and the Death Eaters were to afraid to make the wrong action that they cause less havoc than usual.
The sun was starting to rise. It wasn't late, it was very early. He was exhausted, but he didn't have time to rest. The day was about to start and he had work to do. He supposed he could take an Invigoration Draught to give him an energy boost. His muscles were aching and when he stretched his back he heard it crack multiple times.
He removed Ginevra's wand from his pocket. Draco handed the other wands to his father and one of them worked better for Lucius than Ginevra's wand. Speaking of, he headed over to the bedroom to check on her.
He saw her sitting on the bed; her back leaned against the head board and her hands wrapped around her legs. She looked at him the moment he entered the room. She looked exhausted, as if she hadn't slept since he left. Slowly she made her way to him. He didn't move, he couldn't move. He didn't know what to do. She walked to him and when she reached him she let out a strangled sob.
"Severus," she croaked. "I was so afraid,"
His eyebrows shot up when he realized she talked and then he became conscious of the fact that she had addressed him with his first name instead of the usual 'sir' 'professor' or 'slimy git'. He took her in his arms as she started shaking. He felt her hold on him, she held him so tight as if she was afraid he was going to disappear. "It's ok, I'm here now," he whispered.
She looked up at him, tears streaming down her face. "I-I thought you were-," she couldn't continue. She buried her face in his chest again. She kept saying incoherent things. She was going to start hyperventilating again if Severus didn't put a stop in it.
"Ms. Weasley," he whispered trying to get her attention. Nothing. "Ginevra!" he said with more force.
She stopped crying and looked up at him again. "Don't call me that!" she snapped. Her eyes grew wide immediately when she realized she just snapped at him. "I'm sorry sir," she begged, biting her lips. He smiled encouragingly at her, it was first time he was so happy that someone snapped at him. His smile seemed to bring her courage. "Please call me Ginny, sir."
He wiped away the tear stains in her cheeks with his thumb. "Then call me Severus. I think we're past formality since we're sharing a bed."
She diverted her gaze from his. He thought that his statement had gone too far. He was about to apologize when she spoke. "I couldn't sleep. I tried to but it didn't feel right," she confessed. He nodded and led her to the bed. They both got under the covers. She looked at him with such innocence. For a moment it didn't feel like he was a death eater, for a moment it didn't feel like he had killed Dumbledore, for a moment it didn't feel like he lived the life of a hundred men, for a moment he felt just as innocent as she was. "Severus, please stay," she whispered softly. Her hand clutched his shirt as if it were life support.
He leaned to her and kissed her forehead softly. He saw her eyes close and she subconsciously moved her head to his chest. He held her in his arms, inhaling her scent, which smelled like his bath soap. The past weeks of living with her had come naturally. It felt like he had always shared his bed, like he'd always had company when eating, like he'd always had a companion in his house. He had realized that he liked having her around, that his life didn't seem as lonely when he was with her.
Work can wait a while, for now they will rest.
-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-
She was finally talking to him. Conversations weren't exactly flowing through but he found that he appreciated her presence even in the silence. There were plenty of topics they avoided: her time with Bellatrix, how he killed Dumbledore, and the war. Other than that, they still managed to open up about each other. Over the days he had actually gone to look forward to finish his duties as headmaster just to sit and talk with her.
They stuck to light hearted topics. He found out just how passionate she was about Quidditch, despite his displeasure, though he did notice a remnant of her old self that seeped through making the whole hour of listening about Quidditch worth it. She also inquired about her classmates, he mentioned that they were struggling with the new regime but they were alright. She changed topics after that. He would have told her more light hearted topics about himself but couldn't find anything to tell her that wouldn't conflict him. He couldn't tell him about his friends, who basically tempted him to join the ranks of the Dark Lord, he couldn't tell her about Lily, because that would bring up too many questions, and he couldn't tell her about his family, because he himself has been trying to forget them. So he let her talk, and he listened.
During their private lessons, she would listen intently. He noticed that she had breezed through all the work she'd missed and was doing well with the advanced lessons. It was most likely because she didn't have any distractions, or maybe it was because she was actually focusing on her school work for once. Whatever it was it made the teacher in him very proud.
Contrary to popular beliefs, he actually did enjoy teacher. He just had an unfair expectation from his students; after all, Potions could be very dangerous given the right conditions. But he did miss teaching.
When he had to attend faculty meetings or manage the disciplinary actions of student he found himself missing his room. It took him a while to realize that it was not his room he missed but the person in it.
"For the first time, I can't wait the school year is over and done with," he heard Minerva saying when he passed the faculty room. "This is the hardest thing I've had to endure. If it weren't for the students I would have left,"
"I know," the voice of Pomfrey said. "I have students coming to me and most of the time I would keep them in my office because they're too afraid to be out there. The Carrows are even demanding that they be able to search the common rooms for students who are skipping classes. Of course Snape granted them permission." She said Severus' name with such vehemence that Severus actually flinched. "Damn that man."
Severus inhaled deeply trying to calm his nerves. He had to endure, for Lily, for Albus, for the war, for Ginny. This was his punishment.
The school year was ending and the students were on their way back to their homes. If they have any brains left they would leave the country. He knew that Death Eaters were going to watch them but with Voldemort elsewhere it wouldn't be difficult for most of them to slip past the guards. He also knew that most of the Slytherins would join ranks with Death Eaters.
He made his way to his office. It's been a long afternoon and he felt miserable.
When he entered the room the first thing that greeted him was Ginny. He did not expect her to be there. His private quarters were connected to the office but he had explicitly forbidden her to be in his office. It was only because he was glad to see a hint of the old Ginny that he remained calm and did not start yelling. "I thought I told you that this office is out of bounds."
"The school year has ended. Everyone is leaving, and all the teachers are packing, there's no one on this floor but us," she answered. She did have a point and he couldn't fault her for her reasoning.
"And what if I had company on my way here?"
She pointed at a small glass displayed on one of the shelves. "There's a mirror here that shows who's on their way to the headmaster office. Professor Dumbledore told me."
Severus rubbed his temples vigorously. He glared at the portrait of the pervious headmaster, even after death he still managed to make Severus' life very difficult. Ginny eyed him as he made his way behind his desk. She bit her lower lips but a flash of the retched Gryffindor braver reached her eyes. "Severus," she said slowly, "That's not the only thing he told me." He gulped. Please say it isn't so, he thought. "He told me that you killed him because he asked you to," Ginny continued.
He pinched the bridge of his nose. He would kill the old man again if given the chance, and this time he would actually enjoy it. "I work for Voldemort and I killed Dumbledore under Voldemort's order," he started calmly.
Ginny stood up; she placed her hands on his desk and leaned towards him. Her eyes were begging. "Please Severus... tell me that what he told me is truth."
Stupid old man. He sighed and motioned for her to go to their private chambers. He closed the door and made sure to lock it and put a silencing spell. It would be suicide if they were overheard by the wrong people. He sat her on the couch and held her hand. "This information could be the death of you. It could be the death of both of us," he told her seriously. "If the Dark Lord finds this out, we could both die." He tried his best to express how grave the situation was.
"I just want to know if you're in our side because I don't want to be a Death Eater and I would feel better if I knew you weren't trying to make me into one," she insisted.
"Don't you think I'm trying to figure out a way to keep you safe without risking my life or yours? If I don't do what the Dark Lord ordered me to do then I'm dead. I know that it may sound selfish but I don't want to die," he hissed.
"I don't want you to die. And I'd feel better about wanting you not to die if I knew you were still on our side. You have no idea how much I hated myself for thinking that I was depending on our worst enemy aside from Voldemort himself." He managed not to flinch at the name. "I was willing to serve him Severus; I was so afraid that I would be brought back to Bellatrix that I would have served him. She is insane. She's worse than Riddle, Sev. I wanted to die.
Then when I heard that you were supposed to prepare me? I didn't know what to think. I was so terrified that you would be like her but you weren't. You were everything she wasn't. I felt safe around you. Then I figured you were trying to get me to care for you enough so I would willingly serve him. And you know what? I would have. That day when your mark started to burn I thought for sure you were going to bring me to him. But you didn't. I tried to sleep but I kept waking up because I thought you might come back for me and drag me to him. But then I realized I didn't care all that much because I've grown dependent on you. I hated myself for it but I couldn't help it. I can't even read my textbook properly when I can't see you, how pathetic is that?
But if you tell me that you're with us. That you didn't kill Dumbledore because of Voldemort, then I wouldn't hate myself so much. I'll follow you to wherever Severus because I owe you for saving my sanity." When she finished, her breathing was heavy. He saw, for the first time in months, a clear vision of the old Ginny Weasley, the girl who had the spark in her eyes.
He noticed that one of her hands fit comfortable in his. He cupped her face with his other hand. "I don't know why the old coot decided to tell you that, when he did he risked both our lives, but yes, he asked me to do him a favour. It was young Mr. Malfoy who was supposed to do the dead, but Dumbledore didn't want the boy's hands to be tainted by murder so he asked me instead."
She didn't look relieved. It looked more like a triumphant 'I knew it' look. She put both hands at the back of his neck and pulled him close to her. Their foreheads touched and he could feel her steady breath on his face. Her eyes closed, so did his. He could feel his heart beating peacefully. His mind was empty. All he knew was that everything was alright. They stayed in that position for a while, as if neither of them wanted to break the peace. He knew at that moment that he needed her in his life.
She eventually leaned closer and pressed her lips against his cheek. It was a friendly gesture; he ignored the pang of disappointment and smiled at her.
-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-
A message from TemperedRose:
So how'd you like it? Remember to leave a review before you go!