Chapter 4

Hello everyone! I hope you are enjoying the story so far! Please don't be upset as I seem to be running away with my creative lisence to very dark places, but I assure you, it'll all end well, as I hate sad endings. haha On with the reading! :D

I paced back and forth through my flat trying to collect my composure. I knew I had to go through with this, even if it weren't for an entire year. I could feel my resolve wavering slowly, but surly. John better hurry up before I change my mind.

I heard the familiar buzz of my door bell and didn't even bother to question who it was, since I knew it was most likely John. I became even more fidgety as my hands started tangling each other then I went to biting my nails. I looked around frantically wondering when I would have all the time to pack everything I haven't already packed. I was escalating quickly on the verge of hysteria when John walked in with Mycroft right behind.

"Oh, John! Thank goodness!" I almost yelled. I braced into him with a strong bear hug trying to secure myself. To let myself know that I was not floating away from the situation. This wasn't a dream, or a nightmare. This was happening, this was going to happen.

"Hey Moll. Ease up on the grip, yeah?" He chuckled out lightly, and I blushed slightly and apologized. I saw Mycroft behind him and nodded formally in his direction and he paid me the same gesture.

"Miss Hooper." Mycroft said.

"Would you boys like some tea?" I asked politely as I began walking. I heard John say yes and Mycroft simply nodded. I made some pastries this morning, so I put them on a wonderful china serving tray and brought them out onto the coffee table in the sitting room when the kettle was ready. I could see Mycroft fighting the urge to be the first one to grab a cake, so I broke the tension and grabbed a biscuit.

"Help yourselves, please. I made plenty." I smiled trying to urge them on. I saw Mycroft almost too happily for a Holmes grab three pastries from the plate and stuffed one into his mouth. I heard something reminiscent of a peep escape his mouth while he chewed lightly on the food and I giggled.

"These are quite lovely, Miss Hooper." Mycroft looked at me, and it was like a different man was sitting in front of me. A man who had become thirty years younger, it suited him. It made him charming. I smiled in thanks and took a sip of my tea.

"Please, call me Molly. Also, thank you for your help in doing this. I know it must be somewhat hard deceiving your brother." I admitted morosely.

"No, no… not at all. This is brother and I's game. We love deceiving one another. I wish I could tell you I am performing, a 'joke' but frankly, it is truth." Mycroft said as he took a sip of his tea and took another bite of his biscuit, once again eyes lighting up.

"You ever tried making him pastries?" Mycroft added after swallowing the previous bite and I almost snorted in laughter. How different the Holmes brother could truly be. No wonder they clashed, so unlike, yet so the same. Or were they the same? Were they? Was it that I just didn't have the privilege to see this side of Sherlock? My eyes saddened a little and I saw John shaking his head at Mycroft's antics, which helped me brighten up a great deal. How I will miss the fun.

I began to sit up to make a second kettle of tea and to add more pastries to the serving plate when I noticed Mycroft and John straighten up in their seats. They must be ready to get down to business then.

I came back inside to listen to the idea that Mycroft had for me leaving Bart's. I assume I don't really need a reason to leave, but I need to know what my plans are for the next year. I sat down staring at the two intently waiting for one of them to talk.

"Okay, well Moll, Mycroft had this ide—"

"It would not be wise for you to stay away from St. Bartholomew's for a year, Miss Hooper. Even I cannot guarantee your position will be there after such a long absence." Mycroft began.

"I understand." I said. Part of me was happy, and sad at the news. I assume it was better this way. I probably wouldn't have lasted a year away from Bart's, away from Sherlock. So I can see the logic in it all really, I began reasoning with myself.

"I suggest a three to six month transfer sabbatical at a neighboring hospital, the one where you said your friend, Mary? works. Mary Morstan, is that correct?" Mycroft said to me as he pulled out a file folder from what seemed to be from nowhere.

"Well, yes, yes she is. She's my best friend. We went to Uni together." I added. Unnecessary information, I know, but it gave me purpose to go there.

"Yes. You have known her for apparently… thirteen years, as you are currently 33 years old." Mycroft said absently.

"Yes, yes I am." I said almost unhappily.

"Youngest graduate in your class at Oxford University, Summa Cum Laude and perfect marks in your class. Did your residency at St. Bartholomew's Hospital, and was immediately offered the position in the Pathology Department." Mycroft finished as he shut his case folder, on me I assumed.

"Got my stats in there as well?" I smirked.

"I know everything about you, Miss Hooper." Mycroft said and I couldn't help but shiver at him. He definitely had the Holmes flair.

"I have arranged for you to have a flat not further than five minutes from the hospital where you will be working. You will be Assistant lead of the Pathology and Toxicology Department at the hospital, helping them temporarily while they find a suitable candidate for the position. The flat will be substantial, as well as the income you will make. You can make any changes to the flat you wish, and I encourage you to do so. I also would encourage you to change yourself, Doctor Hooper. If you have intentions on coming back to Bart's with a vengeance, give purpose as to why Sherlock perhaps required you presence and why he should miss you. Do not be afraid of letting him know when he is out of line. You consistently bending to his will, will not win him over, it will only have him mistreat you even further. It is true, my brother is brilliant, possibly one of the most brilliant men this world has ever known, but don't let that be the reason to allow him to mistreat you… Molly." Mycroft finished as he stole another warm pastry off the plate. I looked at him stiffly. I stared blankly at his face, mouth agape at such a profession from one of the Holmes men. It startled me pale and I didn't quite know what to say, but to heed his words as gospel.

If Molly Hooper did come back to Bart's with a vengeance, she had to come back with purpose. She couldn't come back as Mousy 'ol Molly and be walked on and thrown into the cycle all over again. She had to become the lioness she was meant to be, to shine brighter than anyone thought she were capable; so bright she would blind out the sun. She had to go there with purpose and meaning, and not allow a man to control the choices that she made in her life, especially things such as her job, which she, (I) love so dearly.

I looked to John and gave him a stern nod of approval and John nodded back to me, which then caused us both to look at Mycroft sipping on his tea quietly.

"You'll start your new job on Monday." Mycroft began. "I will have Sherlock working on a case out of town, too much for him to pass up and he won't know that you left." He finished putting his tea down in the saucer.

"All right." I said blankly. I looked at my table. I knew I was zoning out, but what more could I possibly do? I was leaving my life behind. The life of Molly Hooper, the one I had built for so long. But had I really? Hadn't I just given up at one point? I gave up on men, I even gave up on friends, and then I began giving up on myself. I should've never allowed myself to do that, but I became a mess, and all I could think of that moment was me, sitting on the very couch Mycroft and John were sitting on, in a heaping mess of curls my chest heaving up and down in hiccups of tears because of the pain from the other night. Looking at it from another perspective, as if it were a movie made me feel sorry for the girl, I wanted to cry. I saw how helpless and pathetic she was lying there so beautifully strewn across an old couch with her wine bottle in hand tears staining her face, mouth wailing, and I winced at the sound as if I could hear it, or maybe it was the shame, that I allowed myself to fall so far and so hard for one man, a man who barely noticed my existence.

I looked away and discovered a new resolve within me. It was a new day and a new life for Molly Hooper, and I would most certainly make the best of it.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.- .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

The next couple of days passed without much commotion. Sherlock and John were out of town on a case, as Mycroft promised, a triple murder apparently. That would definitely keep him busy for at least three days I would assume, maybe even longer if Mycroft did any tampering to the evidence.

I slowly took some of my things home as it was Thursday. I didn't tell anyone about me leaving except for my boss Mike, who had already found a replacement for me, thanks to Mycroft. Jennifer her name was. Also a young girl, a blonde, blue eyes shining, I remember when my eyes sparkled like that when I first started at Bart's. She was toned and had what seemed to be a posh accent, but I couldn't tell if it were genuine. Very petite and curvaceous and had wonderful skin. Oh, Sherlock will have fun with her. I almost found it unbelievable that she chose to work in a mortuary. Maybe she didn't, maybe Mycroft just chose a spy, definitely made more sense.

She had been here since Tuesday for some training, and frankly, she was a fast learner, part of me was happy I was leaving the lab in such good hands, but then part of me seethed in anger at the fact this woman would be sauntering around Sherlock helping him on his cases, and not me. It was the only thing I shared with him, and she'll take that away. I pouted.

I left work and went home to my flat packing the rest of my things. Not much left to do really. Mycroft said that he would send movers tomorrow I could leave my now old flat on Saturday morning so I could settle in. He told me to only take the essentials, since he took the liberty in buying furniture for the place apparently. I was sort of excited to see what was in store. If Mycroft decorated the place with cat painting and such, I will hurl the fresh baked pastries I plan on making for him, thinking he could give me a dose of that wonderful Holmes humor.

Toby was becoming restless. He never liked changes. He was a rescue and it took him time to get used to my flat when I treated him well, so hopefully it won't be too much when we move to the new flat.

I called Mary the other day and she was so excited to find out I would be staying at her hospital for a while. I told her everything and she understood completely and thought how nice Sherlock's brother must be and how I should date him! Nah, he's only being nice to me because this will inevitably benefit him, as well. Which then made me feel a little bad.

Oh, such a shame.

Well then, long time no speak conscience. I must've been doing something right for a while to shut that sassy woman up. But, I assume, she's the one I have to embrace now. I sighed and walked to my bedroom and looked in the mirror.

I looked myself up and down and it took everything in me to not groan at my appearance. I was wearing my khaki pants, a pair of flats, a coral tank top and my cherry cardigan, could I look any worse? My hair was in a high ponytail pulled tightly back and it made my face look thinner. I read in a magazine somewhere that wearing your hair back tight makes you look older. I decided that I would take a half day tomorrow and treat myself to a little shopping spree and some grooming. I think I deserve it. What better way to create the New Molly Hooper, than to actually look a little different? I looked in the mirror once more and stripped off my many layers of clothing til I was left in my plain bra and panties. I decided I would go to the gym more. I want to tone up a bit. I'm not fat or anything, but I like to look toned and it'll give my mind something to focus on while I'm not at work. Maybe I'll even start painting again, who knows? I would look forward to that. It could be fun.

I took my hair out of my ponytail and brushed it lightly as I went to lie down on my bed. I looked around my old dusty room, all pictures gone, no trace of me left, except me in my bed at this moment. I have never been so scared or nervous before in my life!

The next morning seemed to come in a rush. I told Mike I was leaving at 1, so he bought me a cupcake and was trying to fight back tears. I told him I would be back in a couple months, but not to tell anyone where I was going or when I would be back. He looked at me and nodded agreeing. Jennifer fit in quite well, the nurse and the people upstairs, especially all the male nurses and doctors seemed to like her. Of course. I rolled my eyes. I made a hair appointment for 1:30. I was going to just go in and get a trim, but I remembered what Mycroft told me about changing myself as well, and I thought I could do for a change. It's not like hair doesn't grow back, right?

When I left Bart's I will admit it was sad. I shed a few tears and almost wanted to call the whole thing off leaving Mike there the way I did. But, I knew this had to be done, and it would work out one way or another.

I walked two blocks over and across the street to a hair salon I loved going to. I knew all the girls by name, and they all knew me, so it was a great thing. I went in there chipper.

"Hey!" I said swinging the door open happily.

"Molly! How are ya girl?!" The one named Madeline said to me. She had dramatically short hair, almost too short for a woman some would say, shaved on the side with it long on the right. The shaved part was dyed red and the long length on the right side was bright red then faded to black. She was tall and athletic looking, she was one of the best stylists I had ever known. You wanted something crazy, you went to Maddie.

"The usual trim for ya, Moll?" Maddie said to me as she guided me towards the shampooing station.

"No, actually, I ah… wanted something a little different…" I said shyly, and I saw Maddie's eyes gleam. Oh no.

Almost two hours later and I was leaving the salon all smiles. I cut my hair, short. It was now cut between the length of my jaw and shoulders and fell nicely. I decided to get a loose curl perm, I thought it may help with the issues with my volume, and it certainly did. Maddie recommended some highlights and I'm glad she did. They looked wonderful and brightened up my pale skin. She added slight bangs for a finishing touch.

I practically skipped home to find my flat almost bare. I wanted to panic, but realized it was the movers that Mycroft had instructed. He didn't want them to interfere with my work schedule. How considerate of him. How strange.

I lay on my bed for the last time; Mycroft said that he had a new one awaiting me. Like I said earlier the excitement is nearly killing me. I decided to read a book I had held behind. I knew I would've grown bored otherwise. I was feeling more and more confident about what I was doing and how this were going to be in the future which only made me more content with my decision. The only thing I regret is not being able to say goodbye to John since he's on his case with Sherlock.

Sherlock… That, impossible man. I have loved him for so long, and I have been there, always when he needed me, and I still would be. If he found out what hospital I was working at and needed me, I wouldn't turn him away. I would help him, because he is a good man. He truly is. He's just a blind, stupid man as well! I sometimes want to hit him over the head. I chuckled lightly to myself as I pictured doing just that, and then I became sad. I would miss him… terribly. What if he found a woman? What if he did have a relationship? What if he grew to hate me, even despise me? What if I came back and he treated me even worse?

Well, you just won't let that happen, will you?

No. No I won't I won't that that happen.

I am Molly Hooper, I am a strong woman and I will overcome the mousiness that has gotten me to this point I will be strong I will not let my affections crush and crumble me, but I will not become immune either. I will feel and love with all I am, but remember that I am worthy of good treatment. I will remember the words that John said, that Mycroft said.

I will come back with a vengeance; I will come back to Bart's with a purpose. Not to have that man love me, I just want him to respect me. He will respect me. I will be the strong willed confident woman I was always meant to be. The woman I am but hide so often because I am afraid, afraid of hurting others, afraid of hurting myself. When those actions have done nothing but hurt me. I will be strong, I am strong.

I am Molly Hooper, Hear me roar world.

I cried triumphantly in my mind as I drifted off to sleep with Toby purring by my side.