Q-A the Authoress - The gang is getting ready to settle this. We are gearing for the end (maybe?) of the story. I hope you continue to read. Thank you for coming all this way.

Ultimate blazer - Thank you! I appreciate your kind words.

Chapter 4

Cohabitation

Some time ago

"Let me see if I understand you correctly, Miss Faron. You want to have Hope stay with you?" Nora asked unsurely. Across from the dining room table, Lightning nodded without hesitation.

"Please, call me Lightning. There is no need for such a formal designation such as 'Miss Faron'. And, yes, I am asking you to allow him to stay with me." Lightning's reply came with no visual betrayal to her unwavering demeanor. This presentation did little to assuage the doubts that Nora and Bartholomew had.

The scene was an unusual one. Lightning rarely ever visited the Estheim home, and when she did, it was usually for some predetermined reason like a party or a celebratory dinner. In recent months, such events were common in this home as Hope was just entering college and had gotten into a relatively selective undergraduate program at New Bodhum University. But for Lightning to show up at their doorstep on her own fruition, especially when Hope wasn't even home, such an encounter put the two loving parents under skeptical intentions when it came to the straight-faced, older, pink-haired woman.

Standing behind the seated Nora as the couple faced Lightning from across their modest willow-wood table, Bartholomew cleared his throat as he put a hand on his wife's shoulder. "May we call you Lightning? I sometimes hear Hope refer to you as Claire, but I don't wish to overstep my… Are you okay, Miss Faron?"

Lightning repositioned herself in her seat and took a deep breath in hopes the redness in her cheeks would quickly fade. "Lightning is fine, Mr. Estheim."

"Then, Lightning, could you perhaps elaborate as to what you mean as to your request?"

Lightning put her hands on the table and folded her fingers together. "As I said before, I wish for Hope to come be with me."

Nora and Bartholomew exchanged exasperated glances. Nora was the first to attempt a response. "Lightning, I know you and Hope have something of a… unique… history. I just want to be clear as to what it is you are asking. You and Hope, over the many hundreds of years as you describe, were very close… friends? If I am using the correct connotation…"

Lightning nodded. "Hope is a friend and a very important person to me, Mrs. Estheim."

Nora shook her head, clearly understanding no more now than when she did before she asked her question. "What I mean to ask you, Lightning, is why do you expressly want Hope to come live with you? Is there something about myself or his father that you don't like or is perhaps Hope living here with the two of us something you disapprove or-?"

Lightning put her right index finger in the air, her expressionless visage unchanged. "On the contrary, I think both of you are excellent parents and family to him. In fact, I want to have a closer relationship with the two of you. I certainly did not come here to question your relationship with your son. I am quite certain that the two of you have provided Hope with a loving and supportive home. The intention of my request was to never bring into question the quality of your home or your dedication to your son."

"Then why are you here?" Bartholomew interrupted, his tone carrying urgency as well as restraint. He did not want to assume her motive although he regretted asking his question in the manner he did as soon as the words left his mouth. "Do you perhaps… love our son?"

"I love Hope. He is a very important person to me and has lived in dedication to me. He has been the kind of person to me that I can never reciprocate and because of such I am eternally grateful to him." No redness came to her cheeks as she said such words. Although unequivocally true, Nora and Bartholomew still did not know how to respond.

"Our son is starting college soon and is joining the Guardian Corps' reservist program to pay for school," Bartholomew began, "Despite that my wife and I fail to understand everything going on, it is ultimately not our decision where he goes."

"I am aware of his future intentions. I told him that I would pay for his school, but he has made up his own mind how he chooses to live." Lightning's response came firmly.

"Did you really tell him you would pay for his college, Lightning?" Nora stared at the woman in disbelief. This was news to her.

"Yes, ma'am. I did offer to pay for his school. It was the least I could do. I haven't been able to much for him lately."

"You really shouldn't have," Bartholomew interjected desperately, "Please, if anything that is a responsibility for my wife and I to discuss with him. For you to feel the need to do something like that is just-"

Lightning's index finger found its way to its position of attention once again. "If I did not truly believe it was something I could offer to him in return for all he has done for me, I would not have done so. Please think nothing of it. He has chosen a different path regardless of the intention I have made known to him. There is nothing more of it to discuss. I know he is grown now, I am simply seeking your blessing for him and I to-"

The sound of the front door meeting the door's threshold and the kicking-off of sneakers on tile interrupted the three of them.

"Mom, dad, are you guys home?" Came a voice from the living room.

"In the dining room, son. We have a visitor." Bartholomew replied.

Hope's response halted as his eyes met his visitor's face, stopping him in his tracks. "Who is here to vis-... Hey, Lightning. What's going on?" Hope's gaze frantically traveled about the room as he tried to desperately understand the expressions on his friend and his family's faces. His parents looked visibly confused while the woman's face, glazed with a hint of red and turned away from him and toward the back door, matched the expression of her arms crossed and more-evident-body language.

"Hi, Hope," Lightning mustered.

Hope scurried to his friend's side and took the seat beside her, his hand on her shoulder. "What made you come here like this? Is everything okay? What's bothering you? Have you had a chance to talk to Serah about it yet? Did she say anything? What can I do to help?"

It was Nora's turn to clear her throat this time. Both she and her husband, although not the first time they had seen their son dote on the pink-haired woman, were embarrassed nevertheless. "Son, if you would please, go ahead and give her some space. There's no need to make our guest feel nervous."

"But, mom, I'm just trying to-"

"Son. Your mother asked you to do something." His father's words were enough to bring Hope to restraint. Hope settled himself into his seat and faced forward.

"I'm fine," Lightning spoke as a slightly darker shade of pink than earlier quickly faded from her cheeks.

"So what's all this about then?" Hope asked.

His parents remained silent, unable to come up with a confident answer while only able to exchange frustrated glances.

"Hope, would you come stay with me at my apartment?" Lightning asked without hesitation.

Silence filled the air. Hope's parents, holding their collective breath, stared across the table in bewilderment at the woman's blatant forwardness.

Staying the night at her apartment was something he had done multiple times in the past. Often, the gang would get together at Serah's place, and after a long night of eating and laughing, Hope would just crash wherever he was. Snow and Serah never shooed away his company, and in certain instances when her sister's house was too full for the night, Lightning would take her sleeping friend the very short distance to her apartment so he would have somewhere to sleep other than her sister's floor. But never had Lightning expressly asked Hope to come over, nevertheless stay the night. After several long moments, Hope fumbled through his attempt to respond, "Like, like you mean I come and stay and we… well, if I come over and stay, would it be like…"

"I don't want you to feel like you have to," Lightning replied, her voice sounding hopeful that her friend would believe her reasoning, "I just figured my neighborhood is a lot closer to the university, and we could carpool to work together once your training is over."

"You are an officer, Lightning. To be seen fraternizing with someone like me would not be good for you."

"My role in the GC is a legacy one. Merely a formality for years of service. I do mostly paperwork and consultations for the new officer graduates. Besides, you chose the paramedic training program with the GC. Medical servicemen are relatively exempt from the unspoken cultural rules that exist amongst the traditional combat-oriented hierarchy. I wouldn't make this offer to you if it would present a disservice to you, Hope."

Hope shook his head, pleading her. "And what about you? Forget about me for a second, what about you. Would my being with you like this affect you?"

"Don't worry about me, Hope."

"It's my job to worry about you, Claire. You know that. It's the promise I made to you," Hope replied firmly.

Lightning's face turned bright red, the look of surprise enveloping her. Hope's parents also shared such an expression, something Hope only noticed as he surveyed the room.

"I'm… I'm sorry, Light," Hope nearly whispered as he kept his eyes facing his lap, "I know you don't like me using that name, in front of people too. I shouldn't have."

"Don't worry about it," Lightning muttered.

"Look, um, I think we will leave you two to discuss this. This is a decision for the two of you to make together, blessing from us or not," Bartholomew began, "Nora and I will go into the backyard for a little bit to get some sun."

"Yes. That sounds like a good idea," Nora chimed in. Within moments the two of them disappeared out of sight leaving Hope and Lightning to themselves in the dining room.

"So… um… how long would I be staying over for?" Hope asked.

Unconsciously, Lightning took a sharp, deep breath as she turned to her friend. "Would you really consider this?"

"Of course," Hope replied with a smile on his face, "If it's you. It would be like the ark again. Us spending the rest of each day together."

Lightning did her best to calm her hands, desperate not to betray to him how excited she felt. "You could stay as long as you like, Hope."

"That makes me happy to hear that," Hope replied, "I've wanted to spend more time with you lately."

"I've already made some arrangements. I've made some space for you too."

"Really? Already? It sounds like you really thought about this."

With complete determination, Lightning said her final peace. "I really have thought about this. I… I would really like for you to come. I want to be able to spend more time together. However, I don't want to take you away from your own family. I am out of the way, and I don't want you to feel like you being pressured into choosing between-"

"Lightning, it's okay, "Hope began as he put his hand around hers, "You are my family. Serah, Snow, Vanille, Fang, Sazh, I don't have any doubts who I am able to call my family. You above all else. I'd love to stay with you, if you will have me."

Lightning stared at him, dumbfounded. Her face shared a shade of red as the curtains behind her as a lump began to form in her throat.

"Are you okay, Light?"

Lightning forced herself to nod before stumbling over her own words. "I'll… I'll just go wait in the car…"

"Wait!" Hope exclaimed, desperate for her not to leave, "You're not going right now, are you? Just stay here, okay? I'll be right back, let me just gather some of my things."

A moment of silence surrounded them, Hope's desperate eyes staring into eyes of his friend, eyes filled with anticipation and disbelief, as his hand grasped even firmer around her own.

Lightning swallowed the lump in her throat before limping a response.

"Okay."

The early setting of the sun cast a warm, red glow across the front of the apartment door. Late afternoon was a fitting time to return home for Lightning, and this time she wasn't returning home alone like the previous night, as well as the nights before that. Always a sense of loneliness and depression filled her heart this time of day, standing just outside this same door, all the while knowing the same loneliness was waiting for her just inside. Today was different. Today was much different.

"Light? Are you okay? You are kind of just staring at the door," Hope stated as he observed her.

Lightning took a second to reorient herself. "It's okay. I was just thinking about giving you this." Lightning produced a newly cut house key from her pocket and held it in her open hand.

"Is this for me?" Hope asked hesitantly as he swung his backpack from one shoulder to the other.

Lightning nodded.

"Are you sure?"

Lightning nodded again.

Hope took the key from her hand and smiled sheepishly.

"It gets better. Not only can you stare at it, but you can also open the door with it."

Hope began to laugh. "Yeah, yeah. I know, Light. I was just thinking… Besides the knife you gave me a long time ago, this is the first thing you've given to me in… how many years now? Is it really okay to share your home with me?"

"Just don't lose it, okay?" Lightning replied as she made a motion towards the door handle with her hand.

Hope nodded as he inserted the key into the lock and pushed the door open. Inside was the same humble abode as he had seen before: couch and tv to the left, dining table and a small kitchen to the right, and a hallway at the far end of the small living area with a bathroom and two small bedrooms. As he stepped through the threshold, the woman behind him followed. As soon as the gentle sound of the door closing hung on Hope's ears, he felt the embrace of his friend from behind, her arms pinning his to his side.

"Woah… is everything okay, Light?" Hope asked dumbfoundedly as his heart began to race, "Could you, um… let go for a second?"

"Just… please, for a moment," Lightning whispered, "Hope, I want you to know… I love you."

Hope struggled within her grasp, his arms slowly pushing hers away from his side. "Seriously, Light, it's kind of hard to breathe, and besides…."

Lightning loosened her grip around him. "And what?" She asked. She began to worry if he had even heard her.

Suddenly, she felt an embrace of her own, his arms now wrapped around her shoulders in a near bear hug. She made a mental note that he had grown again since the last time she was with him. "Hope?... What's going on?"

Hope did his best to slow his breathing, suddenly very conscious of himself and how warm she felt against him. "I could ask you the same. Just stay like this, please… I… I missed you a lot, Light. I'm really happy you asked me to stay with you. I love you too."

Lightning's hands slowly began to search for his waist as she relaxed in his arms. Unfortunately, the moment faded before she had her chance to fully respond. Hope pulled away from her as he made his way down the hallway. "I am going to drop my bag off in the spare room. I'll be right back." Once he returned, he cast her a perplexed look. "I remember you told me earlier that you made room for me already, but all I saw was a bunch of boxes. I think I saw those there last time I was here."

Lightning was desperate to reclaim the tenderness of the moment from before. "Hope, about that, there's something I wanted to give to-"

Hope scurried away from her and to the kitchen area. "Is that a new stove over there?" Hope asked excitedly, "Weren't we looking at this one together at the department store when we were looking for wedding gifts?"

Feeling almost cheated, Lightning pulled herself back to reality with a deep breath and forced a smile on her face. "Yeah. Last time you were here, you made something of a deal about how all I had was a sink and a microwave. I figured it wouldn't be a bad idea."

"Wait, so did you get this because you genuinely felt you needed it or because you were going to ask me to live with you?" Hope asked.

Lightning shrugged, hoping he would buy into her feign of ignorance. "Well, now that you're here if you would like to get some use out of it, please do so."

"How about I make something for us right now? It's getting late anyway. Let me check the pantry to see if there is anything I can whip up. Have you eaten yet?" He had bought it. His excitement had overridden his need to investigate his friends motive. He began to open and close the cupboard doors in his search for dinner.

"Anyway, Hope, listen," Lightning began, her eyes boring holes into the floor beneath her restless feet, "I wanted to give you something to look over, to make this whole thing kind of official if you will. Could you-"

"Hey, Light," Hope interrupted, clearly not listening as his excited smile covered his face, "You're the best friend I could ask ever ask for. Even after all these years. I love you, Serah, Snow, and everyone. You all have given me the family I always wanted. Thank you."

Silence. Hope's incredibly sweet words had never felt more defeating. Lightning's shoulders sank to the floor as a tired breath slowly escaped her lungs.

Expecting some kind of response, Hope's excitement instantly became replaced with worry. "Hey, Light? Is everything okay?"

"I'm going to bed," She replied as she made her way down the hallway, "I'm sorry about the other room. Feel free to sleep on the couch until I have that room cleared out and a bed put in."

Hope stared at the back of her head, unsure as to what he could have done. "But it's hardly evening yet. Don't you… want me to make you something to eat first?" Again, he was met with no response as her bedroom door closed behind her.

Lightning pressed herself against her door as she slid down its surface and to the floor. She didn't know what to think, or how to feel. This was the first time she ever attempted something to this effect before. Serah, Snow, even Fang and Vanille, this facet of life was no stranger to them. Even more so, it was an integral part of their lives, a source of joy in their relationships. But for the Soldier, it was uncharted territory behind enemy lines. It was territory unknown, unforgiving, ruthless, and she knew that she of all people could be torn apart by it. And that was exactly what had happened.

Her arms clenched around her knees, Lightning stared at the bed in front of her. It was certainly more than just a modest upgrade of her old twin-sized bed. The stove and her new bed were purchased in the same recent trip to the department store. Unlike the stove, practically picked out by her soon-to-be-live in companion, her new bed required a considerable amount of time and effort in choosing. The sales rep was hardly any help, though one piece of advice did stick with her: although queen size may work for two people, king size is ideal.

Lightning picked herself up and threw herself onto the bed in a huff, her face buried in her pillow.

I am the fucking worst. I suck at this… I suck so much… I don't know what I was thinking. Her thoughts, as self-deprecating as they may have been, accurately described her current level of social proficiency. Lightning rolled onto her back and jammed her hand into the pocket of her jeans before pulling out a small box and a sheet of paper. She stuffed the box into the drawer of the nightstand next to the bed before unfurling the piece of paper and staring blankly into it.

I am an idiot. Where did I go wrong? How could I have made this work?… Who am I kidding? Even if I did, there was no way, not even in a literal thousand years… She thought to herself. Lightning crumpled the piece of paper in her hands and sat up in her bed, her arm cocked behind her in ready position to throw the paper into the wastebasket on the other side of her small room. But, she couldn't. It wasn't something she could throw away, not quite yet. She stuffed the piece of paper into the same nightstand drawer and turned off the bedside lamp before rolling back onto the bed. As darkness enveloped the room, she snatched the pillow from the unused side of the bed and clutched it to her breast with one arm. It did little to ease the pain in her chest. Her other arm found its way onto the other side of the bed, now more aware than ever of how cold it was on that side, how lonely it was…

It's okay like this. It's probably for the best, to otherwise end up with someone like me… Lightning tried her best to rationalize her pain away for several minutes before sleep finally overtook her.

Current day

"Thanks for coming and bringing him here, Vanille," Serah said as Snow and Vanille came into view. Serah had been waiting patiently outside of Lightning's room once her sister had finally fallen asleep.

"Hey, sweetie. Is everything okay in there?" Snow's concern for his sister-in-law was very evident in his tone.

"Look who I found," Fang said as she made her approach, the young man's arm interlocked with hers, "I caught this one moping around in the courtyard." Hope begrudgingly followed suit and let his friend drag him around in tow. He didn't want to go back to his room, but Serah's earlier phone call to Fang worried him.

"So you were able to find him," Serah replied as her shoulders loosened slightly before directing her words to the boy, "Where the hell have you been? You just left sis to stew in her own drunkenness! She needed you!"

Hope was unapologetic and nearly annoyed at Serah's words. "This isn't the first time I've had to pick up the pieces after one of her benders. I'm sorry, Serah, I just can't do this anymore."

"That's when you need to call me! Or one of us at least! What if she had a fall or some guy was wandering the hotel and decided to try to hurt her in her vulnerable state?! Hope, are you evening listening to me? This is serious! Why would you even do such a…? Hope?" Serah's words softened as tears welled in his eyes.

"You don't understand, Serah," Hope replied as he wiped his eyes with his hands, "I've done everything I could for her. For a thousand years and counting, I've tried to be right next to her. But she said some things tonight, did some things tonight, I just don't know if I can keep doing this. I know she's your sister, but I can't-"

He was interrupted by the sensation of an embrace. The scent of the woman before him was similar to hers, but the feeling around his shoulders was softer and more gentle. "I'm sorry, Hope. I don't know everything that's ever happened to you and sis, and I shouldn't have said the things I did. I just don't want you to feel like you don't have the support from me that you need, or for any of us. We all love you, Hope, including Lightning. Please, let us help you."

Hope felt the weight of another embrace across his shoulders. It was Fang's turn to say her peace. "I'm sorry, kiddo. It was my fault as well. I said some things earlier during the reception. I should have been there to support you and her, not make things worse."

Vanille and Snow put their hands on their respective partner's shoulders. Vanille's soft words caressed the broken boy's heart. "We are all here for you."

"Ask us for anything," Snow chimed in.

For the first time in what felt a long time, Hope felt cared for again. He felt hope again, for himself, his friends, and the woman on the other side of that door. He felt a hope he had not felt on a long time.

"Thank you, Serah, Thank you, all of you."