I do not own these characters but I certainly enjoy them. Thank you once again for the reviews and comments and just taking the time to read. I will be heading out on vacation this weekend so the next update may take a while. Hope you enjoy!
Mary could feel her palms getting sweaty as she picked George up, his babbles about Charles ringing in her ears nonstop. She didn't know if she wanted to turn right back around and go back to the main house or stay, and risk the chance of seeing him. "BLAKEYYYYYYY," George screamed as he pointed his small chubby finger out. No matter what her heart was saying, her son was telling her another thing.
He had left after that kiss, a kiss that shouldn't have happened but felt magical. Mary's chest thumped as she thought of seeing him, of the heartbreak and if she could stay composed. Why on earth would he show up here? Even if it was Grantham house, why would he risk what was unraveling in front of them. "Go, mum," George spoke calmly now as his hand grasped Mary's tender cheek. The actions reminded her of something Matthew used to do when soothing her, his blue eyes always communicating hidden messages between just them. "Fine but just for a few moments, we have to get you back in time to play with Sybbie."
She let her son slide to his tiny feet as he tried to run to the house, quickly staying behind as best as she could. As the house approached all her nerves decided to let loose, butterflies creating havoc in her stomach and heart. She should have just told George no, he would have been mad but nothing he wouldn't forget later in the day. Could she really face Charles now? Could they be adult enough to stand in front of each other and speak with everything still between them? Part of her was still angry as well that he just left, even though she was giving herself to someone else.
Before she could stop him, George was running inside with his wobbly feet. He tried so much to be independent and often Mary wished it was like before he learned to walk on his own. It panged her to think that one day her son wouldn't need her as well, leaving her like Matthew did. "George you must wait," Mary yelled as the staff looked up.
"My apologies." Mary could only smile at her grandmother's butler as his eyes went wide before softening. "It's quite fine M'lady, we know how mister George enjoys his running." "That he does, please do not let us interrupt your work." Mary nodded courtly before stepping towards the other voices in the house, the melody drifting to her like music played by the notes of George and Charles laughing together.
Five steps would be all it took to turn the corner to see them and in the five steps she needed to compose herself. Mary brushed her hand up to push her wind swept hair back, small tendrils drifting along her ears. Let's hope I least look presentable she thought as she moved her hand now to press her dress down, feeling how warm the fabric still was from the sun. Four steps.. Mary breathed in and out to calm the butterflies in her chest and stomach. Three steps and two steps.. A smile drifted along her tight lips, preparing to face them with everything she could master. One step.. and she was there; in the room facing her shocked grandmother and son with Charles.
It had taken many years to perfect her card playing face but Mary hosted one now, her eyes setting on Charles but not showing any emotion. She wouldn't be that weak or let on to the Dowager that anything was out of sorts.
George stretched his little arms out for Charles to pick him up, his pants bunching at the legs. "Well hello there little chap, to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?" Mary's could feel her heart leap from her chest at the sight in front of her, the carefree nature and love of her son making the hair on her arms stand. "Blakey, Blakey," he babbled as Charles laughed, the lines around his eyes wrinkling. "Yes Blakey, thought one day you must learn my name properly."
Violet scoffed then, tapping her cane somewhat as George diverted his gaze to give her a dimpled smile. "He is already more brilliant than most Americans who migrate here." "Grandmamma!" Mary couldn't help but laugh as she spoke out, her son giggling as well. The dowager only shook her head, watching Charles carefully with George before looking to Mary.
"We were just taking a walk when George saw Mr. Blake's car and wouldn't stop rambling." Mary clasped her hands together as she explained why they were there. She didn't want them to think it was because of her, she especially didn't want him to think it was that. Her grandmother lifted an eyebrow while examining her; Mary could feel her skin on fire at the thought. Did she have any idea about the problems that still lay between her and their visitor?
"Walk!" George began to talk again, his energy non-stop as he wiggled in Charles arms. "You want down now?" He grinned at the small boy before placing his feet snug on the ground before ruffling his wavy blonde curls.
"I was just finishing up the report and filling your grandmother in on my family, it seems she is old friends with my mother." Charles shifted almost nervously, clasping his hands behind his back. Mary wondered how Violet knew his mum and what set him on edge about it. "As long as Downton is fine I have no cares, I told him he should have spoken to you and Robert about this but since Robert is gone." "I thought Mary would be busy with Evelyn as well, seeing as they are newlyweds." Charles interrupted, gulping hard at the implication of the words.
He had been thinking about her, it was obvious even if it was about how she was now married to another man. Mary couldn't help but feel relieved that he still thought of her, silence lingering in the air after comment. Charles turned to watch George near his legs, his face hiding so many things. It was killing him to have Mary here, returning the report to Violet had been his way to not see her but now..
"Blakey, come walk," George looked up to tug his tweed pants leg, his blue orbs pleading for Charles to come with them. "Come!" Mary didn't want to speak to Charles and break the protective blanket that was covering them right now but she knew what her son really wanted. "I think he wants you to join us on the walk back home." On cue, George started nodding and rambling even louder.
"Well little chap" Charles began to speak as he looked down at the young boy. He couldn't help but see Mary in him even though all of the Crawley family swore he looked like Matthew. All he could see was the curve of Mary's nose and the intensity of life in his eyes just as he saw in her. "Before you think of saying no I would suggest you go Mr. Blake, I must be going to meet Lady Hampshire for tea anyway. She needs a new maid and is asking for suggestions," Violet interrupted as she gripped her cane to stand.
Charles knew he had no choice but to go now, though it thrilled him it scared it all the same. What would he say to Mary when they finally were alone? Would he apologize for how left and for the kiss? Or would both their pride get the best of them.
"I guess that is a yes George, I will accompany you and your mother back to the house." Charles began to nervously brush his palms together as he looked around to judge how Mary would take it, her own face giving nothing away. All was lost to the young boy in front of them though as he sat up quickly before falling to him bum, excited that his Blakey was going to walk with them. "We should be going then; George always waits for Sybbie to return home from school at this time." Mary dared to look at Charles now, his eyes searching for hers in a silent apology.
She could feel it hit her heart, just the small glance and she was beginning to unravel. Why did he have such a hold over her? Couldn't she just stay angry and living the life she had choose. Matthew was the same way with her, his blue eyes would drift her way and her stomach would clench. It was strange to think she had two men in her life now that made her feel so bizarre but swell.
"Grandmamma, we will be seeing you at the house for dinner tomorrow? " Mary asked, her eye focusing on George pulling Charles towards the door. "Yes and do me a favor my Dear, tell her I will be calling earlier to speak to her about something." "Oh?" "Oh just silly village gossip," the Dowager waved her cane as she readied to leave as well. Mary had a feeling it was really going to be about her, they were always meeting to speak about her life and what decision she needed to make.
The laughter of George and Charles stomping outside made her head spin fast, quickly pressing her lips together to follow. Her son was tiny but stout and she let out a laugh as she watched him pull Charles by his hand, the man bent over and pretending to drag his feet. It was impossible not to feel warm at the sight of them, of how well they got along. Mary wondered if this is what it would have been like if Matthew was still alive, would they take walks together and laugh over jokes. Of course they would but it hurt too much to think of it and right in front of her eyes was reality, this was really happening.
Evening air began to settle on them as they walked down the dusty road back to Downton. Mary made note of how tan Charles seemed since the wedding, he must have been outside a lot; his olive skin paring well with the waves of his chocolate curls. Of course he has probably been spending the days out on his new farmland, fending to the animals he had taught her so much about.
A giggle from George brought her back to the moment as he chased after a butterfly, his Blakey right on his heels. "Be careful, you don't want to scare him or he will tell his friends not to come play. Butterflies are to be seen and not touched, a lot like other things in this world." His rugged hands reached to pull George up, tossing him in the air with ease before catching him. "You can fly like the butterfly, see?" "Again!" the young tot mumbled as he dipped his head back.
Mary could feel the air leaving her chest again, the image in front of her leaving her momentarily paralyzed. She had read many poems on happiness but this was what happiness really was, a warm day with her son and his laughter dancing along her skin.
Happiness, it was such a foreign and wrong feeling. It bothered Mary to feel as happy as she did with Evelyn so far away and it bothered her that it upset her for all the wrong reasons. He was Charles good friend after working together for so long and he had always been so dear to her. This happiness and content was something she should feel with him as well but it wasn't. It wasn't as if she was un-happy when around Evelyn but she could tell the difference and he deserved better.
"Does my husband know you are here on business? I wouldn't imagine so seeing as he is in France working himself." Mary looked ahead as she asked, not looking at Charles and George now. The words stung Charles as he placed George down, letting him run ahead now. The rational part of his mind told him that he had no right be angry at the words but yet he was and they hurt. It hurt worse than losing everything and having to build his way back to where he was.
"No he doesn't." Mary could notice the tone in Charles voice go serious. "I wanted to not bother either of you but the report needed to be dropped off." Charles still felt angry, almost bitter as he watched George kick a rock in front of them before picking it up. "You look radiant as always Mary, perhaps marriage agrees with you." He hated himself for saying it as soon as it left his lips, surely Mary would cut him with her famous glare now.
Instead a comfortable silence fell between them, their eyes focused on the little boy ahead of them. The words had hurt Mary but she wasn't prepared to hash this out now, not on this road.
"Mary," Charles began to speak, his thought cut off by a simple touch on his arm by Mary. "Not now, let's discuss this later once George is not around." All he could do was nod, the patch of his arm tingling where Mary just touched him. He ached to have any excuse for her to do it again, to feel the closeness but her eyes simply rested ahead, ignoring him. She wasn't really though, every so often glancing from the corner of her eye.
The rest of the walk was filled with silence between the laughter of George and Charles playing. Mary took the steps slowly, preparing herself for the storm that would hit them later, when the two of them would have to talk.
George didn't even make it half an hour after returning to the house before falling asleep. Mary knew he must be exhausted, his eyes drifting off after a day of adventure. Usually they would wait in the kitchen for Sybbie with something sweet but today she would have to play without him. She offered to take him up to his bed instead of nanny, nearly begging so she would have extra time to prepare for her talk with Charles.
Everything made sense in the nursery, their own private world as she stood watching George sleep peacefully. His lips would pucker out as he dozed off and it reminded of her how Matthew would rest, his face always calm. She needed to leave their world though and speak to Charles, it wasn't right to leave him. 'Rest my boy," Mary whispered as she shut the door, clenching her fist to regain composure. She could do this, after this talk they could move on with their lives.
Mary took two steps before she could hear a sweet melody began to drift through the grand halls, a sad but beautiful set of notes pulling on her heart. "Heavens someone is playing," she whispered to herself. The notes began to pick up pace as she moved to the lush room where the piano rest, knowing already who would be playing before she even got there. The song made her heart weak; it was his way of speaking to her.
She could see his back as her feet stepped into the room quietly, not daring move to interrupt. His head tilted back as he played and she could imagine that his eyes were closed, each note smoothly coming from the ivory keys. Everything she had been over thinking and feeling was drifting from her mind, lost with each cord. Charles had never mentioned the fact that he could play to her, the hidden talent actually making her smile.
The song changed again, starting off low and Mary decided to step closer. It was familiar to her, striking a place deep in her stomach and filling it with need. A memory flashed in her mind of dancing the night away with Charles, their feet clumsy and playful before the sun rising. Yes he was playing this song for her, speaking to her in a different way than what she was used to.
Charles could feel the atmosphere change as he played, the presence of someone else entering the room making his hands slip. He didn't have to turn to see if it was her, instead he could hear the gentle breathing from her chest. Picking up on Mary's presence was something he had learned to do while working on the estate together. Often she would enter a room just to observe but it always caught him off guard, just like now. He couldn't continue to play with her standing there, things heavy between them.
"I should apologize," Charles finally spoke as he looked down to his hands resting on the old piano keys. "For so many things." The words had been sitting in his head since their walk but were now lumping together in his throat. "We both should be," Mary needed to say something before she became too scared and decided to turn around and leave. Her knees were becoming heavy as she searched to look out the window, needing the peace the oncoming night sky would bring. "This is all complicated." The soft words hung in the air like a poem, one of star crossed lovers and heartbreak.
It would be easy for Charles to keep his hands on the piano and his eyes looking down but he needed to see Mary's face, to search for what she was really saying. "It's especially complicated because of the kiss and because you married him even though your heart knows it wanted different." Mary couldn't hide it anymore as she gulped, her eyes dropping to look at Charles as he glared back. She was angry he brought it back up; she was married now and to his friend. They just needed to move past this and start new even if it hurt them. The hurt was worth more than losing him like she thought she was going to.
"I'm not being a gentleman by bringing it up and by bothering you but I was never much for formalities was I? Evelyn is my dear friend and I care for George as much as I love you. Perhaps this should be our goodbye, a peaceful one. I can rest easy if you promise me he is what you truly want but if not then how can I? Every day I think of you Mary, I wonder what you are doing or what book you are reading to George. "Charles was rambling now, his face serious as he looked at Mary intensely. He needed her to just know everything he was feeling, to realize that no matter what he would hold on and be there unless she truly didn't want it. "You are married to him I know but I can tell your heart doesn't agree."
"And I wouldn't be a lady if I admitted to anything other than being faithful to my marriage with Evelyn. When we make choices in life we must stick with them. You know how I feel, take that as you want." Mary looked to his eyes to plead, giving the okay to not give up though she said different. It was wrong but after watching Charles with George she couldn't risk losing him even as a friend, they had lost enough in their life. All of the anger she felt was shadowed by her need to keep calm and keep her pride.
"I see," Charles whispered as he turned to place his hands back on the cool ivory keys. Silence filled the room, invading the space between them and laced with tension so thick it could smother. Mary watched as Charles began to scoot to one side of the bench, looking up with a gentle smile. "Come sit here with me Mary." It was a plea for her to join him and she wondered if she should, her body moving slowly to join him. Just keep your composure, Mary thought as she crossed her ankles away from Charles.
He could feel how close they were now, the floral scent of Mary tickling his nose in a pleasant way. If he tuned just right their legs would touch, the intimate thought enough to make Charles face go red. Oh how he craved for just the simplest of moments with Mary.
There had to be something he could do to turn this conversation around, to make things right between them. "Can you play?" Charles asked with hesitation, the question coming out of nowhere to Mary but she was glad for it. "No, we were taught to play violin when younger but never piano." It was something she always enjoyed to hear but never had the time to invest into.
"I can teach you, or at least try just this song?" He was asking her to share in something he enjoyed and there was no way she could deny that. "Fine but I will play horribly," Mary teased as she placed her dainty fingers on the keys next to his. "You mean like how you play cards when others are not around? " Charles could throw back what she was giving, making Mary laugh before blushing. The distraction was what they both needed, forgetting everything that had happened between them in the last year.
Mary shifted her hands closer to Charles, the light brush enough to send him mad as he imagined all the places her hands could go. The simple brush was the equivalent of a thousand kisses and he wasn't sure if he could pretend to never have felt it before. Heat flared along his neck as shook it off, stretching his leg to be close to her ankles as well.
"Okay, let's start with this." Charles slowly played two notes for Mary, his fingers stretching to hit each key in harmony. "Now you can try with my help." Mary gulped as his large hands covered hers, nervousness hitting her stomach as she realized just how close they were now. Perhaps she should go or pretend George needed her? Mary thought of different ways to run but instead stayed quiet, letting Charles guide her hands over the keys to play two notes.
Music began to vibrate around them again as their fingers moved together, slow at first but then with passion. The melody was enough to make Mary smile, feeling pleased with what she was learning. "You see how these keys work? They play beautiful music when pressed together but complicated when apart." Charles looked up to make his comment known, his teaching turning into something different.
Something about the words made Mary feel like he wasn't only speaking about the piano or the music. She could feel herself getting hotter, the contact of their skin sending warmth along her stomach. Maybe it was because of how close he was and the familiar scent of his cinnamon skin but all she could focus on was the way his lips had tasted on hers before the wedding and how smooth his words were coming off now.
The music was becoming louder and quicker around the room as the fluency of their hands moving together became easier. It was amazing to Mary that she had never played but her she was making beautiful noise with the help of Charles.
"If you move your fingers here," he was teaching her again, moving both their hands across the piano to a new set of keys. "The whole tempo changes and so does the piece of music but maybe it changes for the better." Mary knew he was speaking about more than just the music now, his thumb brushing over her hand. He didn't realize that she just couldn't change the key now; she was married and had chosen that.
"Life can always be changed such as this piece of music," Charles dared to look at Mary now. He wasn't caring to hide behind metaphors but wanted her to know what he was meaning. "It's not that easy, some pieces of music are not ready to be recomposed, they need time to slowly morph." Mary was meeting his words now, their eyes locked and bodies gravitating towards each other.
"Well heavens, what a surprise!" Cora paused at the door, her eyes falling on Mary and then Charles. The new voice surprised them both, causing them to jump back. Mary wondered just how much her mother had saw and what she would say. She was of course alone with a man that wasn't her husband and her cheeks were flushed. The look Cora gave her next was enough of an answer as she moved to stand.
Don't kill me for leaving it off there, please.