AN: Thank you all so much for the reviews! And for those who don't leave reviews, thank you for reading my story anyway! You guys are awesome - so much so that a change in the way I update may be in the near future. (ie: getting a chapter faster than once a week!) :) We'll see... Now, enough from me! Enjoy!

4: The Journal

I groaned as I rolled over in my sleep. Jason had been calling my name for a good five minutes.

"Mommy, I'm going to be late for school!" Jason complained through the door.

"What?"

I sat up and looked at the clock. Letting out a curse, I flung my blankets aside. Because of staying up so late, I'd jeopardized the morning routine. It took twenty minutes to get to Jason's school and I only had ten. I wasn't dressed, I hadn't showered, and I was completely grouchy because I didn't have coffee. Making some hasty decisions, I called Jason's school to inform them that Jason was going to be late.

After hanging up the phone, I groaned, rubbing a hand over my face. "I wish his father could take him to school on days like this," I muttered.

"Mommy? Are you awake?"

I opened the door. Jason stood there in his school uniform, khaki pants, white button up shirt, and blue vest, his backpack slung over his shoulders. For a strange moment, I thought I was staring at a miniature version of Clark Kent. The only thing missing was the thick glasses. Mentally shaking myself, I discarded the thought and hugged my son.

"I'm sorry I slept in for so long, honey," I said, squeezing him gently.

"Were you up late working on a story again?"

I suddenly remembered the black journal half hidden under my covers. Swallowing, trying to keep my thoughts on the present, I shook my head. "I got into a book."

"What book?" Jason asked curiously.

His fascination for stories caused me to bite my lip. I didn't want to tell him I had Superman's journal in my bed. He would have wanted to read it too and then neither of us would leave the apartment. Deciding to change the subject, I told Jason that I needed to get ready as soon as possible so we could get him to school on time.

"Why don't you color in your coloring book while I get ready?" I suggested.

"Okay," Jason said, turning to the coffee table where he'd left his crayons. I watched as he turned to a page of Superman before shutting the door to make a mad dash around my room.

Due to not getting paid until Friday, I hadn't been able to do laundry. Fishing out an outfit that didn't smell, I pulled it on; I'd decided to ditch taking a shower since there wasn't any time. Frantically going through the motions of getting myself ready as fast as humanly possible, I exited my room ten minutes later in an aggravated huff. I really needed coffee; too bad there wasn't any time to stop at my favorite shop to pick some up. Grumbling even more over traffic than usual, I weaved dangerously through the cars until I skidded to a halt in front of Jason's school. He was ten minutes late which meant I had to sign him in. Jason took my hand and giggled.

"What's so funny, kiddo?" I asked.

"You need coffee, don't you, Mommy?"

I faltered in my heels because I burst out laughing. My son knew me too well. I bent down and kissed him on the head. "I do need coffee," I said, "but I need to get you to school first."

Jason's smile faltered a bit. "Do I have to go to school?"

"Yes," I said with finality, dragging him into the office. The receptionist didn't look at all pleased that Jason was late, her disapproving eyes lingering on me with distaste. Though her thoughts were her own, her expression spoke volumes of her opinion in my ineptitude as a parent. This hadn't been the first time I'd dragged Jason in late for school. Not to mention all those times he'd been the last one to be picked up. The receptionist's silent opinion only caused my flames of anger towards Superman to rekindle. Kissing Jason goodbye, I went back to my car in a worse mood than what I'd woken up in.

Stupid Superman. It wasn't my fault I was a single mother! He'd flown off to Krypton, leaving me pregnant without any idea of how it had even happened! Richard had flown the coup when finding out Jason wasn't his and that I didn't truly love him. I was again left a bachelorette with little money and no savings having to spend it all on medical bills, medicine, and a new place to live. And it was all Superman's fault.

Then I remembered the entries I'd read the night previously and the anger intensified. Forget trying to be nice to him! I was in full Mad Dog Lane mode. My sympathies towards Superman were drowned in my foul mood of being judged about how insufficient I was as a parent. Darn that man! It was all his fault!

I stormed into the bullpen twenty minutes later in a fury. It didn't help that it was a Friday. I wished the weekend would get here faster. My coworkers seemed to sense my mood because the floor cleared as I marched over to my desk, slamming my things down on the counter. I turned on my computer and started going through my emails, checking with sources over stories I'd been chasing since last week. They had all the information I needed on the latest case of a murder trial that had been going on for three years.

After making a few calls to finalize some loose ends, I set to work pounding away at my keyboard. My heart was only halfway in it but I typed along anyway.

"You're missing a 'w' in awkward, Lois," a voice said behind me.

I leapt out of my skin, surprised to find that of all people to sneak up on me it was the most klutzy man in the bullpen. My sudden jump startled Clark and he dropped the coffee cup he was holding. It fell to the floor, its contents spilling all over his shoes.

"What is with you and spilling coffee, Kent?" I asked as I handed him a box of Kleenex on my desk.

"Dunno, Lois," Clark muttered, taking several tissues to wipe his shoes off. "Here," he said, holding out another cup.

I looked at him with a raised eyebrow but decided not to comment. How had he managed not to spill a hint of the cup he'd intended for me but drain the entire contents on the one for himself? That didn't make any sense. I took the cup without thanks and drank half the liquid in two gulps. Immediately the furious animal of aggravation calmed inside and I sighed, content.

I caught Clark's amused smile but only for the briefest moment. He immediately switched to embarrassment. "W-Well, I'd better go and clean myself up," he said, hastily making a break for the supply closet. Everyone knew he stashed an extra suit in there for severe emergencies like this one. I shook my head and turned back to my article.

"LANE! Where's that murder article?" Perry shouted from his office. "I wanted it on my desk first thing this morning!"

Rolling my eyes, I held it up in my hands. It had just come out of my printer. "Got it right here, Chief," I said, heading into his office with article in tow.

"How are you doing, Lane?" Perry asked with his hands on his hips.

"Fine," I said evasively.

"I noticed the piece about the fire yesterday. It seemed a little dry."

I bristled. "What are you saying?"

"Close the door, Lane."

I slammed the door against its frame, causing the glass to rattle. Perry gave me a disapproving look before sitting in his chair with a sigh. "Lois-"

"Perry, don't," I warned. "I'm not in the mood."

He pursed his lips. "I can't afford the danger of allowing you to bottle everything up inside, Lois. It's affecting the paper."

"It is not! My personal life has never interfered with my work before."

Perry scoffed. I scowled. This was not going well. I ran my hands through my hair. "Perry, don't give me time off. It will only make things worse. I need to be busy."

Perry eyed me carefully for a long time. This was unlike him; he usually shouted and carried on for a good solid minute over my stubbornness, no matter the situation. Letting out a deep sigh, he closed his eyes and rubbed them with his thumbs. After a moment, he lowered his hands and stared at me. "Lois, I wasn't planning on giving you time off. I'm going to give you a raise."

"What?"

Of all things I hadn't been expecting that.

"You need it."

My independence wounded, I crossed my arms and glowered. "I don't want it."

Perry stood up. "I don't care if you want it, Lois, you're getting it!"

"Is anyone else getting a raise?" I demanded.

Perry remained silent.

"I thought so," I snapped. "You can't give me a raise, Perry. It wouldn't be fair."

"Dang it, Lois! Although I love him, everyone knows my idiot nephew, bless his ignorant soul, left you with little to nothing when you split. I don't even think he realized that the hospital bill you decided to pay off was covered by all of your savings."

"Shut up, Perry!" I cried angrily.

Perry glowered. He'd come dangerously close to revealing something he promised never to speak about. Though he was right; my savings were gone. That was probably the biggest blow in my relationship with Richard. I spent my savings to pay the hospital for the care they gave to Superman after the New Krypton incident. I made the donation anonymously because I didn't want it traced back to me. It was an act of desperation and love; my donation ensured that Superman was given a floor all to himself and the best care. Met General probably would have given all of that to him freely but I knew what it was like to have to pay bills and care for a family. I gave my savings away willingly and Richard found out when the bank statement arrived. He hadn't yelled at me but it was the last straw he needed to make his decision to leave me and Jason for good. I knew he didn't realize that was all the money I had; he probably thought I had another account on the side.

Perry cleared his throat and continued on, pulling me out of my thoughts. "Setting that aside, Lois, you've been trying to pick up the pieces of your life and you're starting to tear at the seams. It will take a couple months for you to stabilize your income again. Until then, accept the raise. It'll help."

"I don't want your charity," I shouted, slamming my hands on the table. "I'm perfectly capable of living on my own just fine, Perry. I've done it before."

"That was before you had a son!"

I shrugged indignantly. "It's not that big of a difference."

"Lois, take the raise for Jason's sake if nothing else."

I stared at Perry angrily. He stared right back. I knew he was right but outwardly admitting it would be an insult to everything I stood for.

"I didn't want to have to resort to this but I have every right to give you a raise for winning a Pulitzer," Perry growled.

My nose wrinkled as my eyes flashed dangerously. "We both know I don't want it."

"It doesn't matter if you want it or not, Lane! You won it, you get a raise. End of story. Now, get out of my office! There's plenty of news to be had in the world."

I shouted a good stream of choice words in Perry's face before turning on my heel and slamming the door shut so hard that the glass in it cracked. Everyone in the bullpen stared but I ignored them all. Grabbing my purse, I threw it over my shoulder and punched the up button of the elevator, my thoughts swirling with anger and humiliation.

I was on the roof of the Daily Planet in minutes.

Why did he have to injure himself so much that it had landed him in the hospital? I thought savagely as I rummaged through my bag for my lighter. I'd quit smoking but the lighter seemed to calm me down if I held it and flicked the little flame to life every once in a while; weird therapy I know but it worked and that's all that mattered to me. Finding the little metal object, I flicked the flame to life several times, letting my anger stew.

Why did Superman have a hero complex? Why did he have to save everyone all the time? Why did he have to be so reckless and place himself in a situation where he nearly died from Kryptonite poisoning? Why couldn't he have waited for help to remove that island? He wouldn't have ended up in the hospital in a coma and I wouldn't have had to pay the bill. I would still have my savings and I wouldn't be in this situation where Perry had to thrust a raise down my throat just so my son and I could get by. Stupid Superman; it was all his fault!

Unconsciously, I'd pulled the black journal out of my bag. I'd brought it with me, terrified of leaving it in my apartment unattended. It was too priceless to leave on its own. Sighing, I opened to the entry where I'd left off and began to read.

I never understood why Dad was always so protective of Mom when it came to dangerous situations. I had always figured it was ridiculous for him to fawn over her because she's one of the strongest people I've ever known. My father and I wouldn't have lasted two seconds without her. She was always the glue that kept us together, the voice of reason in distress, the calm in the storm of anger and misunderstanding. I guess now I realize that Dad always fawned over her safety because he knew how vital she was and because he loved her more than life itself.

Lois Lane may be one of the strongest, smartest, and bravest women I have ever met but she's also the biggest magnet for dangerous situations. Since my debut three weeks ago, I've rescued her from sixty near death experiences. I know that it's common for your life to be on the line as a journalist but I feel as if Lois receives a lot more attention from death than any other reporter on the planet. I wish there were times when I could be with Lois when I don't have to rescue her. We haven't been able to have a casual evening since our first official interview on her balcony. I have to keep my distance as Superman from her so as to keep her safe. If anyone found out that I loved her, they would use her against me and I would be unable to refuse their terms. I know it may seem strange and irrational for someone to fall in love in just three weeks but it's an undeniable fact.

I'm in love with Lois Lane.

My heartbeat felt like it could rival a hummingbird's. Plain as day, in his own elegant scrawl, he'd confessed that he loved me. Funny how he said it took three weeks; I'd fallen for him the moment he caught me from that helicopter fall. I shook my head, trying not to allow the pleasure I felt win over my anger towards the Man of Steel. I didn't want to stop the resentment towards him only because I was afraid of what would happen if I gave in to the tender longings of my heart. He'd hurt me, scared me in a way no other man had, including my father. Trusting him in a romantic relationship now would surely be the most foolish and asinine thing I could ever do. And yet how I longed to do it!

Scowling angrily, I looked back down at the journal and read the next entry, not caring that Perry was probably wondering where I'd run off to.

I have discovered that humans can be the strangest and most complicated beings. I don't understand why someone would have the desire to destroy entire cities just for the sake of material things such as land .Three days ago I met a man by the name of Lex Luthor who tried to sink half of California into the ocean so he could take over the real estate from the remains and make a profit. He planned to carry out his scheme with the use of two nuclear government missiles. To ensure that I wouldn't get involved, he exposed me to the one thing that can kill me – Kryptonite, radioactive pieces of my home world. They must have traveled with my ship from some sort of gravitational pull and landed on Earth in a meteor shower. I find it incredibly frustrating that of all things a piece of green rock has the potential of being my demise.

It's astounding that even if I get near the stuff, I can't function properly. My strength leaves and I become as weak as a child. I can't even touch the meteor rocks without blistering my skin. Too much exposure will kill me, I learned later from my father in the Fortress. Long periods of exposure can lead to kryptonite poisoning, which takes away all my abilities. The only way to restore them when that happens is by soaking in the energy from the yellow sun for days, if not weeks.

Thankfully I didn't suffer from kryptonite poisoning in this incident with Luthor because one of his accomplices saved me after discovering her mother to be in danger from one of the missiles targeted areas. I promised to stop that missile first and she took the kryptonite off. Keeping that promise, I stopped the missile headed for New Jersey before flying to California. The latter missile impacted before I could stop it so I had to make due as best I could to repair the damages that had been caused in a resulting earthquake.

One thing Jor-El warned me of was that it was forbidden to change the course of human history. I am not ashamed of what I am about to disclose but I pray that it will be seen as a true act of the heart and not of stupidity or selfishness. Against my father's wishes, I turned back time for the sake of saving the woman I love. In the effects of the earthquake, Lois was caught in a landslide that ended up burying her in her car, suffocating her before I could save her. I found her and discovered I was too late. In an angry rage, I took off and flew around the world so fast that it started spinning backwards, turning back time. I redirected the Earth back to its natural orbit and flew down to where Lois was to find she was still alive. I can't even begin to describe how my heart burst with silent rejoicing even as she complained that I had almost abandoned her in the middle of the desert with a broken down car. I would have kissed her right then and there if Jimmy Olsen hadn't shown up.

I flew off shortly after with a smile as I listened to Jimmy say that I must really care about Lois. How right he is. I care about Lois more than anyone else and though it goes against everything my father, Jor-El, has taught, I cannot fight against the irresistible force of love I have for her. I will never again alter time but I have made a resolution that no matter what, I will always be around to save Lois, to ensure she never leave me again. I love her more than life itself. If only she knew.

My shock caused its own earthquake in my body, making me shiver uncontrollably. I had died? I had died?! And Superman had turned back time to save me?!

He'd turned back time to save me.

He loved me that much.

I closed the journal and put it back in my bag. I stared up at the sky, watching the clouds lazily drift in the vast blue, for what felt like an hour. My thoughts were a bundle of flying fireworks, giving me a monstrous migraine. I had died. I couldn't get over it! I had no memory of that at all. I remembered being furious that Superman had taken so long to save me after I'd run out of gas in the middle of nowhere with telephone poles falling left and right due to an earthquake. He'd flown down and listened to me rant and rave angrily with a smile on his face. I hadn't even noticed the relief in his eyes then.

I laughed weakly, pulling my knees to my chin, resting my forehead against them. "Lois Lane, you are so pathetic and selfish," I whispered.

The Daily Planet door to the roof opened, creaking loudly, startling me out of my reverie. "L-Lois? Are you up here?"

I pulled back the tears that threatened to fall. "Clark, what brings you up here?" Clark came around the door, tripping on it as it swung shut behind him. I smiled. Clark however, looked grave. I netted my eyebrows together. "Clark, is everything okay?"

"First, are you alright?" he asked.

I nodded. "Yes, now what is it?"

He didn't seem to believe that but he didn't push it. Instead, he swallowed, looking solemn. I hated when Clark got this way. His chipper happy-go-lucky attitude had always been the medicine for my pessimism when chasing down a story. More than ever, I wished he would smile goofily at me like he usually did. I really needed a pick me up after what I'd just learned.

"There's been another fire," Clark said.

"Fires are pretty common, Clark," I said, trying not to think of the one that had burned down my favorite apartment complex in the city.

Clark slumped down next to me on the ground and shook his head. "It wasn't an ordinary fire, Lois. The same blackened footprints by the window on the tenth floor were found by Superman shortly after he'd extinguished the flames."

I frowned heavily. "It looks like we've got ourselves another crazed pyrotechnic."

Clark nodded gravely. "Perry wants us on the case."

I blinked. "Just like old times?"

Why did I suddenly feel elated?

Clark made a small smile. "I guess so."

Feeling the thrill that always came from chasing after a story, I pulled myself to my feet. "Well, looks like we've got our work cut out for us, Smallville. We need to get to that building and gather as much information as we can before someone tampers with it."

My determination seemed to spark the journalist in Clark. His goofy, lopsided smile widened as his eyes lit up behind his glasses…his very blue eyes. I shook my head. Now was not the time to entertain the little butterflies that had started going off in my stomach. As I followed Clark down the stairs to the elevator, I couldn't help but wonder why there had been butterflies at all and why they decided to come to life when I stared into the eyes of my partner.