Thank you to all those who reviewed. Now, to answer specific points:

wooldollycoat: I am going to work on an explanation that is feasible, but since (as you will read in this chapter) Harry is not entirely sure what changed inside of himself, I cannot yet say what it is. Malfoy will certainly be in here, but having him here in such a way that he and the Trio still don't get along, as seen in the epilogue of DH, will be challenging, but it will happen.

just-as-loony-as-luna: First of all, I dub thee JALAL, because your name is so long. Secondly, sorry I didn't spell his name right. Third of all, the ending had to be the way it was because it was the only natural breaking point until the end of this chapter. I have this handwritten a couple of chapters ahead at all times, that's why. However, I shal endeavor to improve!

Disclaimer: As always, I own nothing but the inevitable OCs, my plot line, and my own epic self! Otherwise, the scary people in black suits would come for me in the night.

After The War: Rise of the Dark Lady

Chapter 4

The Depths of Thought and Guilt

"Wait up, you three!" They heard Mrs. Weasley shout from the entrance hall. Stopping and turning, they saw the entire surviving Weasley family hurrying towards them across the grass.

"What can we do for you, Mrs. Weasley?" inquired Hermione as they reached the Trio, breathing a little hard, somewhat more so in Mr. and Mrs. Weasley's case than in that of their children.

"Arthur, the children, and I are in agreement. You three should come to the Burrow. Especially you, Ron! Where else would you go?" Mrs. Weasley said, almost pleadingly.

"Ron and Hermione can go with you, if that is their choice. I, however, will go to Grimmauld Place. That is the closest thing to a home that I have right now." Harry replied, and the Weasleys blinked in surprise. Since when was Harry so…firm, so resolved, so eloquent, even? He had changed so much; it was almost like he…wasn't Harry anymore. Mrs. Weasley bit her bottom lip and looked at Ron. Her son looked so different, and carried himself differently. Hermione, who had always been a little too thin to begin with, was now as thin as Harry, for Heaven's sake! What had happened to them? Her thoughts were brought to a halt as Hermione and Ron looked at one another, and whispered back and forth with each other. Ron nodded reluctantly, and Hermione turned to the Weasleys.

"Ron and I will be come back to the Burrow with you, he should spend some time with his family, and I am staying with him." She said, and turned to Harry. "You should join us Harry. Please." Harry shook his head.

"No, Hermione. The Death Eaters will stop at nothing to take me out now, and enough people have been hurt or died in this damn war as it is, far to many of them to protect me. Grimmauld Place is less valuable and less people are likely to be caught in the crossfire than if I stayed at the Burrow and they attacked. It is safest for all of you…I can't have anyone else I care about die…" Harry said sadly. "To many have died that should have lived, and it's all my fault."

"Harry…c'mon, let's go. Come with us." Said Mr. Weasley quietly.

"NO, damn it!" Harry shouted, suddenly furious. "How can you say that? Fred is dead because of me. Fred, your SON is dead because of me, Harry Potter. So many people have died just because they were near me, or happened to be in range of the crosshair painted on me! How can you invite me to your home, knowing that, and knowing that more danger will follow?"

"Don't think of it that way, mate." Croaked George, his bloodshot and puffy eyes still red from crying. " We were willing to risk it all to get rid of Him, to have Him finally be finished. Some…some of us lost it all. Fred died laughing, protecting his family and friends. That's the way he would have wanted it."

"George, I…it's all my fault, damn it, can't you see that?" Harry said wretchedly. "If I had turned myself in sooner, Fred might not have died! SO many could have made it! Lupin, and Tonks, and Colin…"

"Don't say that!" George said, sounding almost angry. "It was that damn coward of a Death Eater, and when I get my hands on him, I will settle the score. We all knew the risks, and there is no way you are taking all the blame, so shaddup and come home!"

Much to everyone's surprise, Harry laughed, but it was empty laughter, devoid of any emotion. He shook his head sadly, and looked at the ruined grounds and walls of what had been his true home.

"Home, huh? I'll come with you, George, it seems that I've lost this argument, but it's not home…I don't think I have a home anymore…heh…" and with that rather mystifying and depressing remark, he Disapparated. Ginny stood staring at the spot where he had vanished, looking very worried indeed, with tears in her eyes.

"I'm gonna go after him, make sure he actually went to the Burrow…maybe I can get something out of him." She said, her expression daring anyone to try and stop her. No one did, so she turned on the spot and Disapparated.

AT THE BURROW

Ginny felt the moment of crushing pressure, and then she was home. In the yard of the Burrow. Someplace she hadn't been sure she would ever see again. She looked around, happy to be home, but with more important things on her mind. Spotting Harry, who was sitting on the ground, staring up at the sky blankly while twirling his wand aimlessly in his fingers, she walked over to him. Remembering what had happened in the Gryffindor Common Room, she called out his name softly as she approached. He turned and looked at her for a moment, before returning his gaze to the stars. She sat down next to him, wrapped her arms around him, and put his head on her shoulder.

"What's wrong, Harry? What happened to you out there, too make you so different?" she asked, when he made no move to leave. He grimaced and shook his head.

"I dunno, Ginny, I just dunno. All those people dead because of me, dead because I failed. You were almost killed, Ron and Hermione, Lavender was almost killed by Greyback…so many suffered because I wasn't good enough, strong enough, fast enough…" he whispered brokenly, his eyes staring but not seeing at the sky high above them.

"It wasn't your fault, Harry. You had to do what you did to stop Voldemort! It was necessary. Sure, people died, but a lot more people would have died if you hadn't stopped him, or if you had died fruitlessly! You did what you had to do, for the greater good!" Ginny said fiercely, almost aggressively. Harry laughed that empty laugh again, surprising her.

"You know, FOR THE GREATER GOOD is what Grindlewald committed his crimes for? That Dumbledore wanted to put a magical dictatorship in place over the Muggles, 'for the greater good, to help them'? I ran and hid, Ginny, I ran and hid." He said, standing up and starting to walk away. "You should find someone else to love. Someone who isn't a coward that let people die for him, because he was too weak to do anything!" He was about to Disapparate when Ginny tackled him to the ground from behind.

"What the hell? Did you really just say that? Did you really just call yourself a coward? Damn it all, you willingly walked into that forest to die for the rest of us, to sacrifice yourself! That's not cowardice, Harry. If it was, then your mother and father are cowards, and many others besides!" Ginny shouted, pinning him to the ground as he struggled to get free. He grunted, exerting all of the muscle he had built up from years of Quidditch and months of exercise while running from Death Eaters, and got free, stumbling to his feet and started again for the boundaries, to where he could Disapparate.

"Petrificus Totalus!" Ginny shouted behind him, and he froze, his legs and arms snapping to his sides, and he started to fall to the ground, only to have her catch him and lower him gently onto the grass on his back. She straddled him, and prodded his chest with a finger. "No Harry, you are not just going to leave me again! I won't let, especially not for such a stupid reason as misplaced guilt! I love you, Harry, and I can't –I WON'T- let you do this to yourself! Do you understand me?" she said, then realized he couldn't answer. Waving her wand with a murmured spell, she released only Harry's head from her Body-Bind Spell, allowing him to talk.

"How, Ginny? How can you still love me after all this? I left you! I dumped you to run away and hide! I left you in danger, running away to save my own skin! You can't want me back, I'm not who I used to be anymore!" Harry growled bitterly.

"Because I love you, Harry. You had to leave me, you had to defeat him. You may not be who you were before, but once you get over this ridiculously misplaced guilt of yours, I think that the new and improved Harry Potter will suit me very nicely, even better than the old one." With that, Harry broke. The armor that he had unconsciously been building up around his heart during the past year shattered, and he started to cry. Cry harder than he ever had before. Ginny released her spell and just…held him while he cried. She didn't murmur reassuring things, or tell him everything would be okay, she just held him, supporting him physically, and emotionally. After he had finished, she fished out the handkerchief he had conjured for her at Hogwarts, and handed it to him with a smile and a quip of "I'm returning the favor.", which got a laugh out of him. Watery and hoarse, maybe, but a genuine laugh, and it warmed her heart to hear him sounding more like himself. After he got himself sorted out, they lay beneath the stars, Ginny's head on his chest.

"Harry?"

"Hmm?"

"You never said why you are so different now. Even right now, you just…sound different, you act different, you move different. What happened?"

He just lay there for a moment, before saying slowly, haltingly:
"I guess…that realizing that I had to die, and making the decision to die for the people I loved…made something…click inside me. That's the only way to describe it. I stopped being confused and became…I dunno, resolved? I realized that I had been holding myself back, trying to figure things out that didn't need it. Making that decision…it just made me…different, the way I am now. I can't really describe it, but I had such a sense of purpose." He lay silent for a moment, and Ginny looked up at him. He looked thoughtful as he gazed at the stars.

"What? What are you thinking?" she asked, worried he was going to try to leave again.

"It's just…I was afraid, don't get me wrong, but at the same time…I wasn't. It was my destiny, my purpose, my reason for living, but I was still able to do it, even though I was terrified."

"That's what they call courage love, because if there is no fear in your heart, how can there ever be courage?" Ginny said, then blushed as he looked down at her, raising his eyebrows a little.

"When did you get so philosophical, Gin? I don't remember you ever saying those kinds of things before."

Her blush darkened, and she slapped his chest lightly. She hadn't realized he knew her pet name, her private nickname only her family knew. She shrugged and replied

"I don't know, the same time you became an icy-blooded soldier-type"

He chuckled at that, and stood, pulling her up with him. He leaned his face down to hers.

"Then I guess we complement each other well." He whispered just before their lips met. When they parted, he looked down at her, and smiled.

"I love you Ginny Weasley. More than anything."

She smiled and pulled his mouth back down to hers. Before their lips met once more, she whispered back:

"And I love you, Harry Potter. With all my heart."

They stood under the stars for some time, before heading inside, hand in hand, her head on his shoulder.

AT THE SAME TIME, BACK AT HOGWARTS

"Since when can Ginny Disapparate? She couldn't do that before, could she?" asked Ron, frowning at the spot where his sister had vanished.

"She taught herself how to do it a month ago. She said that she "wanted to be ready", though ready for what I'm not sure." answered George, and his parents turned on him.

"Why didn't you tell us? It was very dangerous, she could have died!" cried Mrs. Weasley, and Mr. Weasley looked quite like he wanted to agree. Far from quailing under his other's glare like he would have before, George stared right back at her.

"Simple, Mum. She made me swear not to, and given that we all could have been killed because of our relationship with Harry, anything that could help her to survive is a good thing, right?" he responded calmly.

Mrs. Weasley looked rather taken aback at this, while Mr. Weasley looked thoughtful. Mrs. Weasley turned back to Ron and Hermione and pinned them with her stare.

"What happened, you two? All three of you have changed, but Harry is the…well…" she said, her voice trailing off at the end as she tried to find the right word.

"Worst?" asked Hermione, and gave a mirthless laugh when Mrs. Weasley nodded. "Not much Ron or I can tell you about Harry, Mrs. Weasley. Most of it happened slowly, subtly, during all that time on the run, hunted, not having anything half decent to eat most of the time, even. We all became stronger magically, but Harry probably improved the most. We all became more suspicious and careful, but Harry more so than us. That's what started it, but I can only guess at what finished the job. Best Guess? Walking into that forest to die, and then actually dying…that's what took away the Harry we all knew. Something must have…changed inside him then." She shook her head. "We can't tell you any more than that. However, we should probably get after them, before Harry tries to leave and Ginny has to hex him."

They all laughed, and Disapparated, leaving the lawns of Hogwarts empty but for the grief and sorrow that hung in the air, kept company only by the shattered walls and cratered earth.

A/N:

Well, there you have it! Chapter Four, intended to be a "deep" chapter, but since I myself am not good at being "deep", I might not have done to well. For all of my returning people, PLEASE CONTINUE TO REVIEW! For all of you new people, REVIEW! I can-nae make this into something ya'all like if y'all don't REVIEW!

SEE YOU NEXT CHAPTER, IN WHICH GRIMMAULD PLACE IS DESTROYED AND HARRY IS IN THE HOSPITAL!