A/N: This is part two of the So Random Gags chapters, but this time, it's about the American Revolution. I have more sketches, but I haven't got around to typing them up. Anyways, here's the Fourth of July Week!

Narrator: Today on So Random, it's Fourth of July Week!

(Cut to the So Random cast in Revolutionary gear and in 18th century clothes)

(Nico and Grady fire muskets at the British)

(Sonny and Tawni shake hands, as if concluding a deal)

(Zora is hanged by a masked executioner)

(Title card shows So Random Gags: Fourth of July Week handwritten on parchment)

"Suffering"

Nico was soldier of the British Army. His unit had just captured Grady, one of the American rebels. He was tasked with extracting information from Grady. "Tell me, where's is Washington's Continental Army?" Nico shouted as he dunked Grady into the barrel of water. "Tell me! Or I will make you suffer!"

When his head was brought out of the water, Grady said, "It wouldn't make a difference if I told you where he is."

"Why is that?" asked Nico.

"If I tell you where he is, it's Washington who will make me suffer." Grady replied.

Nico could only look at Grady then at the camera.

"Chest"

Tawni was a commander in the British Army, which was a rare sight among the Redcoats. Her unit had just captured Sonny, a spy for the American rebels. She and her second-in-command Grady were trying to extract information from Sonny. "Tell me where the Continental Army is!" Tawni shouted at Sonny. Grady then dunked Sonny's head into the water.

When Sonny didn't say anything, Tawni ordered, "Again!" Grady dipped Sonny into the water again. But this seemed to have no effect on Sonny.

Grady turned to Tawni and said, "Leftenant, I suggest we suspend this procedure indefinitely. Our captive is all wet."

"Why, Sergeant?" Tawni asked. "What does her being wet have to do with suspending the procedure?"

"Whenever I look at her chest," Grady admitted, "it is I that drowns!"

Sonny could only smile sheepishly at the camera.

"Admit It!"

Grady was just a soldier in the British Army, and the duty of extracting information from Nico, an African-American spy, had fallen on him. "Admit it!" he shouted. "You are an associate of the spy Nathan Hale!"

"I will not admit it!" Nico shouted back.

"Admit it!" Grady shouted as he dunked Nico into the water.

Sonny, Grady's commander, suddenly entered the cell. "Sergeant!" she shouted. "What are you doing? Are you torturing our captive?"

"I am not, Leftenant!" Grady replied.

"Oh, so you're not going to admit it, eh?" Nico suddenly said. "Admit it!" And he grabbed Grady's collar and dunked him into the water.

"Barrel"

Zora was one of the more notorious torturers among the British. Poor Tawni was her latest victim. "Tell me," she shouted, "where is George Washington?" She then dunked Tawni into the water.

When her head was lifted out of the water, Tawni said, "All right! I'll tell you where he is!"

"Good!" Zora said. "Where is he?"

"He's at the bottom of the barrel!" And Tawni pointed at the bottom of the barrel.

Zora could only look at Tawni, then at the camera.

"Mermaid"

"I am Captain Grady "Soap" Mitchell of His Majesty's Royal Marines, and I can make anyone talk!" Grady shouted proudly. "Now, talk!" And he dunked Zora into the water, and then lifted her head up. He repeated this process three times, until he was too tired to continue the torture.

"What kind of girl is this?" he moaned. "I've dunked her in the water for an hour already, and yet she's not talking!"

"If I may have permission to speak, Captain," Nico, Grady's assistant in the torture, said. "She won't talk to you after dunking her into the water, Captain. She's a mermaid!" He points at something currently out of the camera's view. "She's used to the water!"

The camera finally panned out to reveal Zora's tail, and then Grady and Nico could only look at the camera.

"Constitution"

Nico dunked Sonny into the water and shouted, "Tell me where the signatories of the United States Constitution are!"

"Why?" Sonny asked. "Give me a good reason!"

Nico looked around nervously, as if someone might be watching him, and then he leaned closer to Sonny and whispered, "I bought a copy of your Constitution. Can you hook me up with the signatories and get them to autograph my copy? Thanks!"

Sonny could only look at Nico in confusion then at the camera.

"Necklace"

Tawni dunked Grady into the water. "Admit it!" she shouted. "You stole my necklace!"

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Grady shouted, but, wonder of all wonders, the necklace was between his teeth! He was the thief!

"Dirty Face"

Zora was dunking Nico in the water when Sonny came in. "What are you doing to our captive?" Sonny asked Zora. "Are you torturing him?"

Zora lifted Nico, whose face now looks like Grady, out of the water, and told Sonny, "No, Leftenant, I'm just trying to clean this man's dirty face; see if there's any skin underneath all that dirt!"

Grady's face could only smile at the camera.

"Washing Your Face"

Tawni dunked Sonny into the water. "Tell me the truth!" she shouted. "Is it true that you do not wash your face?"

"How can I say that," Sonny answered back, "now that you've dunked me into the water? My face is clean now, thanks to you!"

Tawni winced at her mistake. "Oops," she mumbled.

"Hide and Seek"

Grady dunked Tawni into the water and shouted, "Tell me, where is Benjamin Franklin hiding?"

"That's unfair!" Tawni shouted back. "You invite us to play hide and seek, and then you ask me where Ben is hiding? That's unfair!"

Grady could only look in confusion at the camera.

"Anders"

Sonny dunked Nico into the water and shouted, "You are a proven associate of the Dutch rebel Anders der Skirt. Now, tell me, where is he hiding?"

"Where else?" Nico said. "Under his wife's skirt!"

Tawni, who suddenly appeared inside Nico's cell, lifted up her skirt, revealing Grady as Anders der Skirt underneath it.

"Hi, I'm Anders," he said, "and I'm under my wife's skirt!"

"Changing Sides"

Zora dunked Grady into the water. "Tell me," she said, "are you a member of Washington's Continental Army?"

"That's not true!" Grady moaned. "I changed sides!"

"Since when did you change sides?" asked a disbelieving Zora.

"Since you Redshirts captured me!" Grady shot back.

Zora could only look at the camera.

"Spy"

Sonny dunked Zora into the water "Admit it!" she shouted. "You're a spy! Now, tell me, where are you bloody Americans hiding our commander?"

Tawni suddenly entered the cell. "Stop this procedure immediately, Leftenant Munroe!" she shouted.

"Why should I do that, Leftenant Hart?" Sonny asked.

"That's our new commander, Captain Lancaster!" Tawni replied.

Zora glared at Sonny, who could only wince at the camera.

"Cheater"

Tawni shouted, "Tell me where the Continental Army is!"

"Okay, I'll tell you!" Nico shouted back.

"You cheater!" Tawni moaned. "I was supposed to dunk you into the water first before you spilled the beans!" And she dunked Nico into the water.

"Just Between Us"

Sonny dunked Grady into the water. "Tell me where the Continental Army is!" she demanded.

"All right, I'll tell you!" Grady said. "But only on one condition!"

"What is that condition?" Sonny asked.

"This is just between the two of us, okay?" Grady whispered into Sonny's ear. "You don't tell anybody else about this! Not your superiors, not your underlings, not anyone in the Royal Army, no one else! Got that?"

Sonny could only look at the camera.

"I Love England"

Grady dunked Nico into the water. "Admit it!" he shouted. "Admit it!"

"All right!" Nico shouted once his head was above water. "I'll admit it! I love England! I love England! God save the King and all that! Happy now?"

Grady could only look at Nico, then at the camera.