Life's Choices

Chapter 4

Together We Can

AN: Thanks for all the reviews, I own nothing. I will warn now more angst and hurt a head.

Penelope knew something was wrong, soon as they'd ate, Derek wanted to go to her place and just lay down, she'd asked if anything was wrong, he'd said no and she'd gone with that not wanting to push, but something was wrong, and it had started when he'd gone to take a shower after practice. He was asleep in her bed at the moment, he'd said he just wanted quick nap then they could go do something.

She rolled on her side with smile before slipping her hand under his shirt, she knew he liked when she ran her hand over his sides, if she moved her hand just right she could get a moan out of him, especially when she was kissing him. However this time he groaned and he flinched before he opened his eyes fast.

"Stop," Derek about yelled at her which startled her making her jump, "I'm sorry, just don't," he said hoping she wouldn't ask what was wrong again.

"Derek, something is wrong, you practically had sex with me earlier now you don't want me touching you at all, what is wrong?" Pen asked sitting up, "Did I do something, because if I did I'm sorry, I just wanted to kiss you," she said.

Derek looked at her and he knew she didn't mean it, but he hadn't wanted her to know, and then she wanted to kiss him, which he wanted too, but every time she started whispering against his ear he panicked. All he could think of was earlier when all he'd wanted was to get away. He was trying to think of how to tell Jeff, he knew he couldn't go back there, not like this, but at the same time he didn't want Penelope to get hurt.

"It's not you, it's me," Derek said.

"Oh hell no, you're not giving me that speech, I was there when Jamie's last boyfriend said that and he ripped her heart out," Pen said, "No way are you giving me that speech, so either tell me what is wrong and stop lying or just leave," She replied close to tears.

"There is nothing to tell," he didn't want her to know it was to embarrassing to think about let alone tell somebody, especially since she wanted to be with him.

"Derek, you have been acting strange since we left the center, and at the diner you barely said two words to me or Ruth," she said, "What is wrong?" She asked again.

"I'm just tired and I don't want to fool around," Derek said.

"Not good enough, you were all over me when you came off that field, and now you are holding your side again," she replied looking at his hand which was resting against his upper side.

"I just don't feel good," Derek said.

"Do you trust me?" Penelope asked him, "I know that I only met yah Friday, but I feel like I can tell you anything, and trust me that is hard with everything in the last three months, I haven't trusted anybody since my parents died and my brother decided it was better to ship his sister off then to let her stay," She said and she was now rambling like crazy, "But I trust you, Derek, I trust you and I know you're not going to hurt me, and I'm not going to hurt you either, just please tell me what is wrong," she said looking up into his eyes, "Whatever it is, whatever I did wrong or didn't do, or if something happened after practice, because that is the only thing I can think of, just tell me and I swear to you that I will help you," she said finally taking a breath.

"You're cute when you're rambling," Derek said with small smile, he wanted to tell her, he wanted to tell somebody but he was scared she'd just leave, and then he'd be back where he was in his own private hell.

"Yes, you've told me that a lot in the last four days, now please tell me what is wrong," Pen said hoping this time he did.

He wasn't sure how to tell her, but he sat up and got out of the bed. "Promise me you want freak out on me, I don't think I could take it, and might really give the drowning in a shower option a go," he said.

"What?" Pen asked, "Why would you want to kill yourself, you can't leave me here alone, I need my friend, I'm not trying to be selfish here and I'm not it's just this world sucked till I found you, or ran into you rather, I can't do this alone, whatever the reason for you wanting to end your life just tell me I will help you I promise, just please don't kill yourself," she said getting off the bed, "Promise me, that no matter what you want do it," she said, "Swear," she said again cupping his face in her hand.

"I swear," Derek said before he leaned over finally giving her a kiss since he'd walked off earlier that day. He pulled away and looked into her eyes, he saw something there he'd seen in his mom's eyes so many times, love. She didn't have to tell him, he knew then that his Sunshine really did mean what she'd said. Derek stepped back before raising his arms as he took his shirt off.

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"Mother of fuck," Penelope said looking at the bruises all over his torso, "Who in the hell did this to you?" she asked looking up into his eyes searching for something anything, "They all came out and you were still in there, they said that the creepy guy wanted to talk to you about something, did he do this?" Pen asked, she'd asked one of the other players that came out and they'd told her that Derek had to have a talk with the dude inside. The creepy dude that freaked her out, "Did he do this to you?" she asked again this time anger in her voice and she didn't have to ask a third time when Derek just nodded.

Derek saw the sadness in her eyes, the anger in her voice spoke volumes, and then she did the one thing he hadn't expected, she pulled him close and hugged him. "What?" he asked but he stopped.

"Jamie will be home in hour, I'm not exactly sure what to do and I think we should have a grown up with us, so when she gets here…"

"No," Derek said about yelling it out pulling out of the hug, "NO, I can't no," he said.

"Derek, he beat the hell out of you, and for what missing practice, I don't know how things run in sports, but you don't beat the hell out of your players and you don't do this to a sixteen year old, or any other child, and yes we are kids, and somebody is hurting you, which means they are hurting us, because we're together, and I want stand by and let somebody hurt somebody I love and care for," Penelope said, she knew that she might have only known him for not even a week, but there was certain things you didn't do in her book, hurting somebody like this was one of them.

"Nobody is going to believe me," Derek said.

"I believe you, I know you couldn't have done that to yourself," Pen said looking back at all the bruises, "You could have a broken rib or something, I should be taking you to a ER or something but I don't' know the way there," she replied.

"No, I can deal with this myself," Derek replied.

"The hell you are, he did this to you, he's a grown up, we're supposed to trust them and he did this to you," Penelope said looking back up at him, "Has he done this before?" She asked, "My brother's a cop, or trying to be one, he had to study this stuff or something, but I remember some of the stuff, and they say most time it's not just once, it happens more often than most people want to know," she said.

Derek wasn't sure if he should have told her, she'd just turned this into something he didn't want to do and that was to go and tell somebody or go to a hospital and now she was asking him all kinds of questions. "Stop, I don't want to know, and I shouldn't' have said anything to you, I am fine, and in few days they will be gone," Derek said.

"NO," Pen yelled out which made him jump this time, "I'm not letting you go back there, how can you say that this is nothing?" she asked, it might be him that was hurt but she was close to tears just thinking about what had happened to him. "I can't let you brush this off like it is nothing," she said.

"You think I think that?" Derek asked, "I'm not letting you get involved and I don't want you to get hurt, just let me deal with this," he said.

"Why are you getting defensive, don't you want him to get what he deserves, he took his anger out on you Derek, he could have killed you," she said looking up at him, "Don't you get that, and I'm telling you now, I don't want to but since you don't seem to think this is anything, either you tell somebody or I will," she said crossing her arms looking at him, she wasn't going to give in either, she was sticking to her words, she would do it too.

"I can't tell, you don't understand," Derek said looking away, "I say something he's going after you next, I can't let you get hurt I won't," Derek said.

"Well we are going to have to compromise here and you live with me telling because I won't let somebody scare me into keeping my mouth shut and I won't let them hurt you again,"

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It was fifteen minutes later and they were both still in her room, however now they were sitting on her bed again. "I, this isn't it," Derek said, looking down at the floor.

"What, what you mean?" Pen asked, she'd finally convinced him to talk to Jeff, she'd remembered that he'd said that Jeff was cop and he was married to Ruth, and if Ruth was that nice, Jeff had to be on some level, and maybe he could help them out. After he got something off his chest they were going to meet Jeff at the diner. She just didn't understand what kind of person could do this to somebody that trusted them.

"The reason he did this wasn't because of practice," Derek said not meeting her eyes, "It was because I skipped to be with you, and I didn't tell him," he said.

"I don't care why, he's not doing this to you again," Penelope said moving closer to him and taking his hand, "You're sixteen years old Derek, and you shouldn't have to worry about him beating you, this isn't right, and you didn't ask for him to do this to you either," she replied.

"If I hadn't told him to stop he wouldn't have done this," he said.

Pen tilted his face up and there were tears running down his face, "What did you tell him to stop doing?" she asked.

"I never asked for it, and I don't want it, but it won't stop, I've wanted to die since I was thirteen but I can't seem to end my life, I've begged God to just end this, or let me die, but it doesn't work, I've prayed every single day that he will just take me out of this world, or make him stop,"

"Derek, what has he been doing to you?" Penelope asked, she was scared at the moment, she'd never thought that it could be something else.

"Today, when I was getting my stuff," he couldn't look up if he didn't he'd lose it, the last three half years he'd kept it all bottled up and he'd only told one person and apparently God wasn't answering his prays, he was alone.

"I'm here, I promise I won't judge you," Pen said taking his hand and moving so that she was sitting beside him before she wrapped her arm around him avoiding the bruises.

"I can't do this, I just can't," Derek said before he left the room and she heard the door to the apartment slam and she took off running after him.

"Derek stop Please," she yelled, but he was faster than she was, "FREEZE," she screamed, "Stop please," she begged him looking down at the stairs below were she was standing and he was there, he'd stopped. Pen took off down the stairs and caught up to him, "He's been doing things to you hasn't he?" She asked, "Since you were thirteen?" she asked.

Derek bit down on his lip finally meeting her eyes and he barely got the word out, and if she hadn't been standing so close she would never have heard him. "Yes," was all he said.

"Come back upstairs, I'll get my bag and we can go meet Jeff," Pen said, "I want you to know that, I don't think less of you, you are supposed to trust people, they're not supposed to take that trust and he shouldn't have done this to you, and I'm sorry you have had to live with this," Penelope said before she wrapped her arms around him not carrying where they were and hugged him.

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Jamie was coming up the stairs with Whit few minutes later, she saw Penelope, and Derek standing there hugging and she smiled, until she saw his face. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"Can you come with us?" Pen asked, "We need to file a report?" she asked.

Jamie didn't know what was going on, but she could tell something was wrong, Derek didn't look like he had Friday night, he looked broken, and she could tell he'd been crying, "Yeah, let me just get her to the bathroom, then we can go," she said, she didn't ask what was going on, if they wanted to tell her they would.

"Thanks," Derek said, still barely above a whisper.

TBC

AN: The next few chapters will be just as intense and full of angst. I'm taking what Derek told the preacher guy that time in the episode Lucky about that he prayed and prayed and he never got the help he needed.