Ninja were famous for their discretion in all fields of life (they were paid assassins after all), thus it irritated Neji tremendously that everyone in the village had already heard he was dating Opulema.
'But how!? I received the mission from Lady Hokage an hour ago, yet Naruto and Shino were already aware of her.' Neji was very perplexed.
Upon passing various villagers in a composed and stoic manner, Neji found he received a lot more stares when he had the beautiful green-haired girl linked around his arm, positively beaming.
"Oh Neji, this is fantastic. A stroll in the early hours of the night with the star gleaming brighter than ever, just for us!" she cooed.
'She can't be serious!? How I wish I'd let Naruto handle those bandits now, then this would have been his problem.' Neji sighed and kept his eyes closed as he led her further down the road.
"I find the need to keep up the facade whilst in the village a little overboard Opulema," Neji explained, "There is no danger for you while your behind these borders."
"But we need to become accustomed to each other so we look like an authentic couple!" She cheerfully replied.
'If I keep this up, by the time I get to the festival I'll have the hottest guy there is. Screw those other skanks with their movie stars, I've got a Ninja!' she giggled in her mind.
"All right, fine then. Then at least make this more productive, as it appears you have no problem acting affectionately around me. How about you tell me a little more about yourself." Neji asked, deciding that all missions should be taken as a learning experience, including one as obscene as this farce.
"Well my father started as a fruit-seller in a small town, and he and a group of his friends began to expand on it, sell all sorts of goods. His business took off in no time until he became a multi-billionaire, so you could say I'm heir to that money!" She winked as she spoke this, a blatant attempt to impress him.
"And your mother, what about her? And any siblings, I will need to know more about them too." Neji continued.
At this Neji noticed something. Opulema's expression changed as she recollected her thoughts about her mother, she looked as though the memories were distant, and her face showed that it pained her to talk about them.
"She, well, she died when I was very young. My father isn't much to look at but he has a heart (and a bank account) of gold, and he was a sweetheart to my mother since they were teenagers. She was very beautiful, I inherited most of my looks from her, except her eyes."
"Her eyes?" Neji asked, with genuine interest this time.
"Yes, they were beautiful and mystical eyes. Faintly violet, they were, and I found I could just stare at them all day. Whenever I was upset or hurt, my mother would just have to look at me with those eyes and somehow the pain would just...vanish."
"She sounds like a very kind person." 'Pity it didn't rub off too well on her daughter' Neji thought.
"She was. I never really had many friends when I grew up; I always had escorts and guards around me so you could say I had a pretty sheltered childhood. Only when I was with my mother did I ever have fun."
By this time, Neji was fast approaching the Ramen bar, when he heard the usual rowdy rounds of laughter he recognized as Kiba and Choji, with Naruto most probably in tow. Deciding that discretion was the best course of action, Neji started down a side street, when he was stopped by Opulema.
"Neji-Kun, let's get something good to eat. I heard from another Ninja at the hospital that this place had the best ramen in the village, I'd love to try some – but it does look like a dump."
Neji grimaced, having to endure Kiba and Naruto's taunts was annoying enough, but not with his 'girlfriend' with him.
"Oh all right, let's go." Neji stepped into the bar to find fate had permitted them two more seats; the others being occupied by Kiba, Choji, Naruto and Sai surprisingly.
Kiba wolf-whistled as Neji entered (rather appropriate that he be the one to do this) as Naruto and Choji continued with their meals, deciding ramen was far more important than Neji and his girl, while Sai simply smiled.
"Er Sai, Kiba, Choji; this is Opulema." He gestured towards the girl, who ignored the rag-tag group of Shinobi.
"Neji-Kun, buy me something to eat." She simply asked as she sat down.
Kiba being the only of the four to spot the indignation in her tone grumbled to Neji, "Damn man! Where'd you find her!"
Fortunately she didn't here, and Neji just mouthed the words 'long story.'
The two order a bowl of ramen and began to eat, as Kiba, Choji and Naruto continued to talk about recent missions. Finally Opulema started a conversation.
"I thought that ninja were meant to be powerful warriors; all composed and cool like you Neji-Kun. What's with those three then?"
The sentence ended as the three burst into laughter again, so they did not hear her.
"They are all powerful Shinobi; just as tough as me. Kiba here is the one I actually recommended to look after you; I really am just one ninja in a village full of many." He opted to retry and talk his way out of escorting her but her response shattered that dream.
"Hah, get real! He smells like a mutt!"
The three were not a funny part of their story when she said this, and Kiba heard loud and clear.
"What'd she say?" He asked, or growled moreover.
"Someone would think he's being rolling around the fields with a dog all day. I couldn't have someone like that around me, he'll upset my sense of smell."
"'Sense of Smell'!? Listen babe, I've got the best sense of smell around, so just keep that trap shut okay?" Kiba retorted.
"Neji-Kun! Defend Me!" Opulema ordered. All eyes fell on Neji.
"Er Kiba, please. Opulema meant no harm in her statement." Neji said half-heartedly.
"...whatever." Kiba grunted and went back to his story.
"(It's no wonder you didn't have many friends in your childhood, if that's how you speak to people. Try to tone the insults down okay?)" Neji whispered.
"Fine. But between dog-boy, the freak in the orange jump-suit, and that fatty over there-"
That was as far as she got as the other four Shinobi present struggled to contain a raging Choji.
"WHAT DID SHE SAY!?" He roared.
"Opulema, apologise Now!" Neji ordered.
No-one had ever ordered her to do anything. People requested her to do things, asked, begged or persuaded. But no-one ever ordered her to do something. That sense of power and authority Neji wore when he fought the bandits was present again, and she surprisingly complied.
"S-Sorry..."
Naruto and Kiba dragged a cooling Choji out of the restaurant, leaving a sighing Neji and Sai.
"What did I just say!?" Neji cried.
"You said 'tone the insults down', I believe." Sai responded, believing the question was addressed to anyone.
"Er, right Sai. Anyway, I think we've outstayed our welcome here Opulema. Let us go, I'll escort you back to your room."
Neji rushed Opulema out of the bar, as the three 'dead-lasts' had cleaned up and were ready to continue their meals.
Outside the hotel Tsuande had recommended Opuelma to, Neji and Opulema stood in the doorway.
"Well, goodnight. I'm sure the escort will be healed by tomorrow day, we will head out then. I will come here to pick you up at 10."
"Goodnight Neji-Kun." Opulema went to move forward, her eyes half-lidded but she saw he was already marching away. Sighing, she turned and went inside, it appeared seducing him would be harder than she thought, perhaps once they're out of the village and alone, she'd have more luck.
Neji opted to go back to the bar and explain the situation to his friends, they'd then at least understand the situation and why he was with someone like her. However, his path was blocked by someone he hadn't planned on seeing just yet.
"Good evening Lee. How are you?" Neji asked, feeling a little refreshed to see his teammate.
"Do you mock me!?" Was Lee's overzealous reply.
"Excuse me?" Neji thought a quick conversation with Lee would calm him, but there was tension in Lee's voice that alarmed him.
"Do not pretend you do not know, Neji. I have shown you nothing but respect, but I will not tolerate you insulting my skills!"
"Lee, I genuinely have no clue what you're talking about -"
"If you believe you can go around and tell everyone that you are the greater ninja for your skills in chakra control, then I will have to prove you wrong!"
"Lee, calm down! I haven't said anything like that!" Which was true, he'd long since abandoned his fatalistic view of life, and was the first to acknowledge how far Lee had come, especially after his career was potentially finished after the Chunin exams.
"Well your girlfriend begs to differ, I will show her that you are the weaker, and then she will realise what a splendid ninja I am!"
There it was. Opulema must have been shooting her mouth off before he'd even returned to the village. Neji quickly deducted that this was the case; she certainly would take likely to a character as unique as Lee here.
"Lee, it's not what you think. I didn't say anything like that, and she's not my girlfriend, I'm assigned to her -"
"Do not make excuses, I will show you that my Passion burns brighter than yours!"
'Great, here we go' was all Neji could think before Lee dashed towards him.
Fortunately, that was as far as the fight could go, before Lee was side-kicked by a dynamic entrance from none other than Gai.
"Sensei! Thank you!" Neji quickly spoke.
"No problem Neji! But, er, what are you thanking me for?" In his haste to greet his two apprentices, Gai didn't even question what the two were talking about. Still concussed, Lee was not able to stand after the kick, and Neji saw this as an opportunity to leave – he would explain to Lee after the mission, when Opulema had left, therefore proving she wasn't with him.
"Gai-Sensei, excuse me." Was all he said and then he dashed off.
"That's right Neji; it is good to see your Passion burning brightly!" Called Gai, as Neji disappeared into the distance.
"Hah, better you than me then." Naruto laughed, still in the Ramen bar, with Sai, as Neji explained the situation to the two of them.
"This is unusual. In all the books I have read, none speak of girls blackmailing Ninja into being their boyfriends in the pretence that it is a mission." Sai mused.
"Well, there is an example for it right now, isn't there." Neji sighed.
"But I have read a book about how one loses a lover perhaps that can help." Sai suggested, as Naruto and Neji turned.
"Well she's pretty much set on me, so it better be good."
"Well in this book, it stresses girls are attracted to physical and personal character traits of boys. So if she likes you, then try and act differently and dress differently, it may make her think twice about taking you."
"Hey, you know Neji that may just work! I mean, it's in a book after so it must be a good idea!" Naruto famously deducted.
Distressed at the process of an extended period of time alone with Opulema was not nearly as enticing as trying to spend some time with Tenten – his opinion of her had changed of late, after he noticed how much she had grown and matured...
"Alright then, so I just need to act like the exact opposite to what I am now." Neji summarised to himself.
"Yeah, but it'll be hard to think of your opposite, I mean, it would be easier if you had someone to mimic; someone who you knew she hated." Naruto mused, scratching his head.
Neji recalled the events that transpired right before he returned to the bar.
"I think I know who to mimic."
The next afternoon at the hospital, Sakura continued to oversee the recovery of the escort; now aided by Ino.
"I can't believe Neji is dating her!?" Sakura moaned.
"I know. Tenten must be taking it pretty hard; I always thought those two would be a perfect match." Ino replied.
"There's something not quite right about the whole situation though: She appeared in the village with these guys yesterday after being ambushed, Neji saved them, but he told you nothing more than that a group of travellers got attacked. If she is new to the village, how are they already a couple? The way she talked it sounding like they were ready to elope." Sakura explained.
"Well love works in mysterious ways, I guess." Ino airily replied.
"No, I think we're missing something here. I mean, Neji is only escorting her after she met with Lady Hokage, who was acting quite weird around her."
"Really? How so?" Ino inquired, sensing a conspiracy brewing.
"Well on my way back here with Shizune, I asked what was the problem with Lady Hokage, Shizune only said it was a private matter, and that we're to do what the girl says for now. I think she's got something on Tsunade, and she's making Neji go with her. Why else would a guy as reclusive as Neji get with someone as obnoxious as her?"
"I think you've got something there. I wonder what Neji's going to do. This won't look good for his reputation, if people think he chases after rich little bimbos like her." Ino hadn't the 'pleasure' of meeting her, but the complaints put through by the rest of the hospital staff after Opulema was there yesterday more than painted an adequate picture for her.
Little did the two now that Neji had already devised a plan with Naruto and Sai the night before. And was currently walking through the village and picking up more than just a few stares; there was pointing and whispering too.
Waiting outside the hotel, Neji ran through the plan once more in his mind, took a deep breath and waited.
Opulema came out on time, dressed in a silky indigo Kamino this time, with her hear tied in a bun. She initially went to greet her 'boyfriend' but was halted as she took in his image. Green suited and cheesy-grinned, Neji held a glorious thumb up to her with a single eye closed – he'd have done Gai Sensei proud.
'Okay Neji, show-time.'
"Opulema! Your escort has arrived!" He cries, making a nearby village carrying her shopping to drop her bags in surprise.
"Come and join me in a er...race (yes, that'll do), a race to the hospital to celebrate our Youthful Passion!" Again with the cheesy grin, coupled by a new, equally awkward pose as he punched forward towards the hospital.
Opulema was lost for words. Was this really Neji?
"Er, Neji-Kun, what are you doing?" Was all she managed to ask.
"Why, I'm just excited to express how bright my youthful flame is burning! Come!" With this Neji took off, with Opulema following, distress and confusion etched across her face.
Neji's mind was swirling; he never felt more embarrassed but he had to admit, it was already working. Having nearly six years of Gai-Sensei's and Lee's antics, he was more than accustomed to their personalities and found it remarkably easy to act the same way.
After a few streets of running, Neji slowed down to led Opulema catch up to him.
Panting, with her hair slightly dishevelled, Opulema finally reached him.
"Neji-Kun, please, what is going on? Why are you acting like this?"
"Acting like what? This is how I always act! Yesterday I needed this suit washing so I wore those clothes! But now I'm back in my cough cool green jump-suit I can fully express my youthful passion again!" Neji again cried, so perfectly that many thought it was Lee with long hair.
Opulema couldn't make any sense of it all, he reminded her of that loser guy she met when she entered the village. Why was he acting like him?
"Anyway, youth doesn't wait for anyone, Forwards to the Hospital! Let's Go!" As he dashed down the street, he moved past Hiashi and young Hanabi.
"Father, was that Neji-Sama!?" Hanabi asked, as bewildered as the passing Opulema.
"Yes, I believe it was." Was his simple reply.
The two looked at each other, and decided to not press the matter.
"Do not worry my young daughter; he knows what he is doing."
'I have no idea what I am doing! I look like a moron! I don't know if I can keep this up.' Neji felt too many eyes passing over him for his liking. How Lee and Gai lived with this humility he did not know.
Neji reached the hospital as this thought lingered in his mind, with Opulema in tow.
Outside, Naruto and Sai were already waiting to see how he was coping with the plan. At seeing him, Naruto gave a thumbs up and he and Sai hid to watch him pass and go in.
"I hope this plan works Naruto. The book seemed quite reliable, though I feel we may missing an opportunity to conduct another plan; that will compound with Neji's behaviour and make him truly repulsive to Opulema."
Naruto turned at this, "You've got a plan B, all right, let's hear it!" Naruto was finding the whole situation quite amusing, and wondered what else they could make poor Neji do in his quest to rid himself of the girl.
"Well, if I am correct in assuming that she may react negatively if Neji was with another girl?" Sai began. Naruto simply nodded.
"So if you and I were to find one of the girls and convince them to pose as Neji's girlfriend, then maybe it will be enough to scare her off for good."
"Sai, you're a genius! Get right on it! I'll wait here and see how 'bad' Neji acts!"
Sai took off to find a suitable Kunoichi, while Naruto saw that Neji was exiting the hospital with the escort and Opulema behind him.
"What has gotten into you, Neji-Kun. You're freaking me out!?" Opulema cried.
"Haha! Don't be silly Opulema, I am simply expressing my Youthful side!" Neji strutted another ridiculous pose, becoming more accustomed to mimicking Gai-Sensei.
Sakura and Ino followed the group outside the hospital, equally bewildered by Neji's total change in character.
"Is he drunk?" Ino laughed.
"Maybe Lee and Gai-Sensei finally broke his mind, what you're looking at is the new 'Passionate and Youthful' Neji!" giggled Sakura.
"No time to waste, let us go!" Neji then ran to the gates, with Opulema on his heels as the escort exchanged looks of utter confusion before trudging on after them.
'This isn't working, I've got to get her to change her mind soon, or I'll wind up escorting her all the way after all. I guess I've got to step up my game – or Lee's.'