A/N: Here's the next chapter, complete with prank, as (tentatively) promised. I hope you all greatly enjoy it, and, as always, I don't own Naruto (as if that was ever in doubt).
Naruto opened his door, slipped through the doorway and onto the landing outside as quietly as any six-year-old could be expected to, and slowly closed it behind him, wincing at the terrible shriek the hinges gave as they protested their continued use.
In all honesty, they were several years too old to be considered in good, or even passable, condition, but no one had ever offered to change them, and there was no way Naruto could do it himself. Sometimes, when the jinchuuriki was feeling distinctly cynical, he wondered if the landlord kept the hinges that way on purpose, just so that he would know each and every time Naruto entered his apartment-keeping tabs on him, as it were.
Making a valiant effort to ignore the thoughts that would bog him down in depression, given the opportunity, he smiled a little, feeling the onset of the high spirits that only came when he was endeavoring to do what he did best-pranking.
As he picked his way down the dilapidated staircase, being careful to avoid the many holes and rotted sections, he thought of the latest party that would soon be facing his attentions.
"Ne, ne, Teuchi-jiji! One miso ramen, please!" stated the exuberant boy as he slid into his favorite seat at the counter. The ramen stand owner chuckled at his favorite customer's predictable order.
"Sure you don't want something with vegetables in it this time, Naruto?"
The young jinchuuriki made a face suggesting that Teuchi had committed the ultimate blasphemy. "Add vegetables? To ramen? What kind of terrible person would do such a thing!" He looked around at that point, as if expecting the responsible party to walk up and introduce themselves.
Turning his attention back to the once more chuckling ramen chef, and the steaming bowl of paradise that had just been placed in front of him, he gave a whoop and hurriedly offered up his thanks before digging in to his food as if it might be the last time he ever ate.
He didn't look up from his endeavor, even when another customer, recently arrived, snorted in disgust and rudely plunked his bowl back onto the counter. "Don't know how you can stand having that disgusting beast so close to you all the time," he muttered, hatred evident in his voice.
Teuchi turned to the customer with a glare. "You'd do well to watch your tongue," he replied. "I'll have none of that hateful language in my restaurant.
The man scoffed. "No need to tell me; I'm as good as gone. And you can bet I won't be back, either. Not as long as that monster is allowed in with the rest of us decent folk-"
Here Teuchi cut him off, exaggeratedly surveying the stand, along with its two current inhabitants, before returning his gaze, level, but backed by iron, to the man. "The only decent folk I see here is this little boy. You? You're just scum, blaming others for all your failures. I wouldn't sell you any more ramen if you were the last person with two ryo to rub together in the entire Five Nations. Now," the iron in his manner had changed to steel, "Get. OUT."
The man staggered backwards from the force of the killing intent being leveled at him. He rushed out to the relative safety of the open street, only turning back when he was certain he had put a safe distance between himself and the ramen chef with hidden depths.
"I won't be back, and I'll spread the word that anyone with an ounce of sense won't be either! We'll see how high and mighty you are when you're out of business!" Convinced that he had had the last word, the man gave a triumphant smirked before quickly, a bit too quickly to look completely at ease, walking away.
Teuchi sighed, rubbing a hand tiredly against his face before turning back to his one remaining customer.
"Ne, Teuchi-jiji," began the customer in question, and Teuchi prepared himself to deflect any awkward and unanswerable questions the encounter might have raised. "Why was that guy such a jerk to you? He obviously doesn't understand that the ramen gods have gifted you with a superhuman ability to make amazing ramen. What an idiot."
With a dismissive snort, and having apparently forgotten his initial question, he turned back to his ramen, remembering belatedly that he had finished it halfway through the encounter-when he had started paying attention. Disappointed, he placed his chopsticks down on the counter and left his seat, moving past the still stationary Teuchi as he did so.
"I'll be back soon, so keep an eye out for me, Jiji!" he said as he raced off down the street, leaving the ramen chef feeling as though he had miraculously dodged an entire fleet of kunai-shaped questions.
Emerging from his short reverie, he found that he had made it to the bottom of the stairs while he was distracted. He grinned toothily as he picked his way across the open courtyard that sat in front of the apartment complex. He had a very good prank planned for the idiot who had insulted Teuchi-jiji.
Caught up in his imaginings of all the wonderful ways his prank could play out, he almost didn't notice the bowl of ramen directly in his path. Once that wonderful smell hit his nose, however, any chance the ramen had of escaping his attention was lost.
"RAMEN!" he cried joyously, diving toward it with no small amount of childish abandon, never stopping to wonder just why there was a bowl of ramen in, essentially, his front yard.
By the time he saw the string drawn taut at exactly foot-level, it was far, far too late. He went down in a flurry of limbs, ramen noodles, and-was that broth DYED!
He raised a dripping hand to his forehead, trying to wipe away the wetness there, but only secceeding in smearing more of the brilliant blue across the entirety of his face.
Shaking his hand in an effort to rid himself of the worst of the contaminated ramen broth, he looked wildly around, hoping to spot the perpetrator even as his own store of pranking knowledge reminded him that no good prankster chose a vantage point that was less than well hidden.
Even as he realized this, however, he caught a suspicious movement out of the corner of his eye, and whipped around to stare at it fully. What he saw caught him completely by surprise; so much so that his mouth had fallen open in gaping shock. It was several long moments before he was aware enough to close it again.
From the boughs of a nearby tree, carefully hidden within its branches, Iruka gave a positively terrifying smirk, both at Naruto's reaction and the almost unimaginable scenario that had precipitated it.
Boar wondered how it had all gone southward this quickly. It had been a completely normal day for the rookie ANBU, who had anticipated his mission of guarding Konoha's jinchuuriki going off without a hitch. He tried to think of what could have caused his current predicament, then froze when he remembered exactly who was responsible. He groaned self-deprecatingly. He knew should have called for backup the very instant he saw the unholy expression occupying the face of the chuunin from earlier.
Belatedly realizing that beating himself up about his mistakes wouldn't help his situation any, he set about trying to free himself from his bonds, getting more and more frustrated as the stubborn things refused to budge even an inch. If only his hands weren't too tightly bound behind him to form jutsus!
Pausing momentarily in his frantic work, he replayed exactly what had happened, kicking himself over and over as he saw all the things he should have done.
Chuckling, not unkindly, at the jinchuuriki's spill and subsequent color change. He groaned. Next time he would move to help first, not after he had allowed himself a slight laugh.
Preparing to jump to the ground from the roof of his current position, noticing too late the ninja wire wrapped carefully around his feet. Taichou was going to absolutely murder him for that idiotic mistake. What kind of ANBU didn't notice the presence of ninja wire around his limbs? He still wasn't sure how that got there!
Performing a clumsy roll before he hit the ground; stumbling as he came up, but at least he hadn't injured himself. Sighing, he grudgingly admitted to himself that, with his current skill set, there wasn't much he could have done differently there.
Standing erect, planting his feet as best he could, then drawing his hands together in preparation for a jutsu. Looking back, he couldn't even remember what jutsu he had planned on using-not a very good sign.
Whipping his head around at the whistle of displaced air, but not moving his hands from their ready position. Reacting an instant too late as the bola wrapped itself around his wrist;, feeling a moment of hope as his fingers were left free, then despair and shame when the weights revealed themselves to be filled with glue, sticking his fingers together within seconds and destroying any hope for an offensive attack. He should have known better than to stay still-should have moved, but curse it all, he didn't even know where the attacks were coming from!
Feeling his spirit slowly die within him as the final injustice was visited upon him in the form of a glittery nightmare. Truthfully, he would have preferred facing the Sharingan ten times over to this. At least there was less shame in falling victim to the doujutsu of the Uchiha than being felled by ninja wire and glitter!
He looked himself over in despair, somehow just knowing that the glitter wouldn't come off without a great deal of effort. With a final whimper, he remembered. He was scheduled to report to his Taichou within the hour.
Certain that his short career as one of Konoha's finest had reached its end, he nevertheless surfaced from his bout of despondency when he heard sandaled feet hit the ground nearby. Turning to face the source of the sound as best he could, in a manner that resembled a drunk rabbit, he scowled under his mask when his suspicions were proved correct.
Umino Iruka.
"I thought you had retired," he said in a low voice, suddenly too overwhelmed to care much about the answer.
The youth grinned at him, chuckling slightly at the ANBU's situation, as if it hadn't been entirely caused by him. "I like to keep you on your toes," he responded cheekily. "What kind of prankster would I be if I was predictable?"
Nodding grudgingly, (his answer did make sense, after all), Boar gestured to his still-bound feet and hands. "Do you think you could untie me?" he asked, his voice littered with uncertainty.
To his relief, Iruka just grinned wider and nodded, drawing a kunai from his pouch and crouching down to swipe it easily through the catch in the ninja wire, rolling the chakra-enforced steel back into a ball as he did so. He took less care with the bola, slicing through the rope an untangling it from around Boar's wrists.
Boar nodded his reluctant appreciation, having already spoken more than any ANBU should, and sighed when he once more looked over his still-glued fingers and disgustingly sparkly uniform. He turned to leave, wondering how on earth he was supposed to explain this to his Taichou when he was momentarily halted by Iruka's voice coming from behind him.
"Milk," he stated, to Boar's utter confusion. "You can use milk to get the glue off, and lemon juice for the glitter."
By the end of his explanation Boar was almost crying from soul-crushing relief. He wouldn't have to show up in front of his Taichou looking like a child's toy. He turned halfway, giving a deep bow of utmost gratitude to the chuunin before using Shunshin to make his way to his own apartment before anyone whose opinion actually mattered could see him in his current state.
"Ne, shinobi-san," came Naruto's voice from across the yard. "Why'd you let him go? Wouldn't it have been a better prank to just leave him there?"
Iruka smiled as he made his way over to the boy, replying when he was directly in front of him. "It might have been funnier for some people, but ANBU-san's pride would have been deeply hurt, and I might have made an enemy. This way, we can still laugh, but one day ANBU-san might even laugh with us. Do you understand?"
Nauto's blank look assured Iruka that he didn't. Sighing slightly, he dropped to one knee in front of the boy, resisting the urge to chuckle at the splatters of blue across his upper body. "There are two main types of pranks, Naruto: the ones we do just for fun, to make other people laugh, and the ones you seem most inclined toward, which we use to get back at other people, but only if they deserve it. The prank on ANBU-san was the first kind. I was trying to make you laugh, and ANBU-san was a casualty of that. He hadn't done anything wrong, so there wasn't any reason to be cruel and leave him there. Does that make more sense?"
Naruto nodded slowly, his chest slowly flooding with warmth as he replayed the older boy's words over and over. He had done all that for him? He smiled brightly at the shinobi, his expression for once completely genuine. "You're pretty cool, shinobi-san!"
At this point Iruka gave in to his overwhelming urge to laugh. "Took you long enough to figure that out," he said, reaching up to ruffle Naruto's hair. However, instead of protesting and ducking out from under the touch, as most children would, Naruto remained frozen, as if he wasn't sure what exactly he was supposed to do in response.
Iruka realized that the boy had likely never been touched in a friendly manner before. Hearing a distant sound that he was sure signified the cracking of a part of his heart, he forced a smile onto his face.
"Hey, Naruto, how about we go to Ichiraku's and we can retry the whole introduction thing, okay?" His smile become markedly less forced when he realized that, judging by the whoop and elated jump, Naruto had probably only heard the first part of his proposition. And that was just fine.
(Possibly) Unfamiliar Terms:
Taichou: Captain, in this case, of Boar's ANBU squad/team.
Shunshin: D-rank jutsu which allows the user to vanish in a swirl of leaves (for Konoha shinobi) and appear some distance away, depending on the strength of the user.
Itazura-nin: (from the last chapter) Basically, a prankster, formed from the Japanese words for 'prank' and 'person'.
Thanks once again, minna-san, for reading, and especially to everyone who reviewed, favorite, and story alert-ed this! I really, really appreciate all of you. The next update likely won't be for sometime close to two months, what with school starting up and everything else. Thanks again, and I hope you enjoyed the prank! May God bless each and every one of you.