Two - A Supposed Oneshot

by Civic31

This story starts at the end. Or if you want to be precise, the beginning. But in this case, the beginning of the end is the end of the beginning. This story starts with death. Or if you want to be precise, life. But in this case, life hovers on the brink of death and somewhere in between. This story starts with one. Two ones. But in this case, two ones can never be one whole two.

4. Chapter 4

My stakes in claim mean nothing. My attempts of possession are in vain.
I am just a servant to all words, destined to be a master of none.

-Disclaimer-

---

Two
*The Antlers*
Chapter 4

---

That there was nothing that
I could do to save you,
The choir's gonna sing,
And this thing is gonna kill you.

---

Inuyasha

Are there even any words to be said anymore? Is there even any point? What are you supposed to say when someone you love so much is a coma? That she might never wake up from?

She might as well be dead.

And there's nothing I can do about it. There's nothing anybody can do about it.

But what hurts the most is the knowledge that I am part of the reason she's lying there seemingly lifeless. She's here right now because of me and my own stupidity. Sango is right. It's entirely my fault. The only one to blame is me and my tendency to be a complete and utter asshole.

And I know it's not that simple. But it doesn't make it any less true. Because while it might seem pretty egotistical that I could cause the ruin of Kagome, I know exactly how much pain I was causing her whenever I left for Kikyo. Because I was feeling it too. The absence was unbearable. Her absence made me feel like I wasn't whole.

Which is why I should've been more caring. It's why I should've spent more time with her. But instead, I spent so much time trying to convince myself that I could live without her. And now it's killing me that all I can do is just sit here in this uncomfortable hospital chair and watch her lie unconscious a few meters away.

And all the things I did, or rather didn't do. All the things I said, or rather left unsaid. All the things I felt, or rather neglected to feel. All those things have just piled up into a mountain of actions that never happened, filled with caves that whisper the words which I never uttered, hiding emotions that I turned my back on. And at the peak of that mountain sits Kagome, battered, torn and helpless. And all alone as she slumbers.

But where does that leave me?

I don't know.

But I imagine that I'm stuck somewhere at the base of that ever-growing mountain, head tilted at the sky, sending prayers to every god known to man. Just so that she'll wake up. Just so that she'll open those big blue eyes of hers and smile.

I still haven't gotten an answer yet though.

And I know it's with horrible timing that I've finally come to the realization that I can't live without her. But it's true. There's no way I can. Live without her I mean. I don't even know how I ever thought I could to begin with.

And I wish… I wish that I didn't realize it until it was too late.

I just… I just wish that I could see her smile at me one more time.

And although I appreciate the fact that Kikyo is here right now, sitting beside me and supporting me... I kind of wish she'd just let go of my hand.

---

Drop me a line.