Those who deserve

I've never really deserved your kindness, but you offered it to me anyway, and I just couldn't accept that.

I think I was the most delinquent kid in the entire village back then. Heh. I ravaged and vandalized wherever I felt like it back then. You could say I was out of control, since the villagers always went "oh he's at it again! Catch him somebody!" I never got any attention from adults or other children, so that kind of attention was heaven to me, whether it being the good or bad kind. I know it was wrong, but I kind of stuck to it because I liked it.

On a weekly occasion, I would find something they would notice and vandalize it with paint, toilet paper, and when I felt good about it, even powder from paper bombs. Eh, don't give me that look, nobody was ever hurt. Hahaha! But one day, I went to a district I had never been to before. People had talked about it being the noblest district in the village, where your family, the Hyuugas reside. There was a word around town that they were always so serious, so I thought I'd liven their mood with some happy colors on the east wall of their dojo. They didn't, though, and I hid pretty fast when they saw it. Don't ask me why they didn't find me. They could have spotted me anytime with their Byakugan, they just didn't. But I spotted something. Someone. You.

You were hiding behind your dad while the elders kept yelling forth and back about this "lack of discipline and respect for the noblest family, bla bla blah." You and your sister wore black jumpsuits so I was assuming you were about to train. And while I was lost in thought about your funny costumes, suddenly you turned around. I hid as fast as I could, but I caught a glimpse of it. But of course, as young as I was, I didn't understand the feeling I had when you looked my way. Yet, I came to realize it when I got old enough.

It was around at the age of eight I think, when you spotted me for the first time. I heard every bit of your conversation, though, I wish I hadn't. "You can't talk to him Hinata-sama, he'll hurt you." So why would I hurt you? Is it because of what I did, or because of what I am? That was what I thought. I tried to change my way for you, but I couldn't. Somehow the vandalizing filled a sore hole in my chest. That is, until Iruka-sensei filled it for me. He became like a father to me, or a bigger brother. But yet, I was still mad about what that Hyuuga said back then. I needed to prove to you that I didn't want to hurt you. I wanted to protect you. I wanted to be your friend. If you'd let me.

"I never found you scary or to be someone hurtful, though."

I'm relieved about that, but, do you remember when you were ambushed by those three boys back when you were nine? We hadn't gone into the academy yet, but you trained at the dojo and I trained whenever I got chased by the villagers. But, those mean kids were academy students. Despite of that, I wouldn't let them push you down like that, apologizing for being what you are. Back then, I hated what I am too and wished to be in your place. But I would never apologize for my fate. That's why I barged in. I wanted to make them apologize for making you do such things. Maybe you'd accept me then. Maybe your family would see what I really am. I knew I'd get beaten up good, but I at least wanted the Hyuugas' respect. I didn't get it though. Your escort just pulled you away telling you not to get near me again. I failed.

"You didn't. You… You woke me up back then." She mutters at his sad memories. "I used to believe I was good for nothing, but, you made me believe that even if I'm weak, I can become stronger if I work hard for it. You even proved that to me." "You mean my fight against Neji?" "Yes, you didn't only prove to him that the inexperienced can surpass the genius, you also proved to me that I have a chance to get stronger. You became my light that guided me to grasp for power."

You were my light too

Back at the Chuunin exam I wanted to prove to everyone that I, the boy everyone thought to be the most incompetent ninja, could beat even a genius. I wanted to prove that especially to you because I saw how much you feared Neji. How you shook when he knocked you out cold. I was sure there was a hint of death in his eyes. Like he was ready to kill you if necessary back then. So, I can't say I only wanted to prove something, I also wanted to repay him for what he did to you.

"Don't make Neji-nii-san the enemy, it wasn't his…"

I know, sorry. But, do you remember when we met at the training field? I was awfully late for me exam, but for some reason, I made a halt seing you standing there, calling out my name. You were timidly hiding behind one of those wooden logs. What you said back then, I wanted you to feel the same way about your own strength after seing how much fear and mistrust you put in yourself during your fight against him. But that's not what really mattered the most. What mattered, is that you gave me the strength to believe that I would definitely defeat Neji no matter what. And that I would get up no matter how many of my tenketsu he rendered useless because you believed in me.

I kept going forward because of that. It became my source of power from time to time. That if everyone acknowledged me, I would be acknowledged by the Hyuuga family too, and by you.

"I acknowledged you already. I knew you would become something great the moment you saved me from those bullies that day." Hinata says shyly, tugging on his Yukata. As she realizes that she is holding onto him her face turns red as she takes a gentle jump back. "But… But I didn't know if you would acknowledge me, as… as a strong person that is. But in the end, I too believed you wanted to prove something to me during the tournament too. Even though you didn't say this now, you wanted to show me that you can achieve real power if only you believe that you can. That's why I wasn't afraid to die protecting you when I rushed in to protect you against Pain. It wasn't only that, but I also wanted to repay the favor I could never repay you. The very first time you saved me. The moment when we met."

After I came back from my training with Jiraiya-sensei, after three years. You looked so graceful, and you were so beautiful. It was like you had completely gotten out of range. You were so out of my league. When I came back I had promised myself that it's time to move on. I was sure that you had already found yourself a boyfriend when I came back so I forced myself to forget about a relationship with you. And although I had done this before, this time, I decided to actually aim for Sakura-chan as a potential girlfriend, to patch up the hole I had in my heart from knowing that I could not be with you.

"It's not like you to give up like that Naruto-kun. Why did you think I would…"

One day after training, I told Jiraiya-sensei about my troubled feelings for you. I asked him what I should do about my crush on you, and he told me how many chances I had. They were his honest opinion, clearly, and they were pretty reliable, since it all made sense. These were his exact words:

"Even if you love the Hyuuga cutie, and she loves you back, you can't be with her and truly be happy. Your relationship will end when her father and the clan finds out about it, and they might even cut the girl from her social standing because she chose to love, well, you. It's not offensive, but the status you had in the village back then still stands. Nobody hates you more than the Hyuuga, because you're a…"

"Jinchuuriki" I cut him off. "Yeah, Exactly. Not only that, but the Hyuuga family is a highborn family that makes a great deal out of family honor and bloodline. The Byakugan dojutsu is both. It is their honor because they are the only family to have the pure version of that eye, and it's their bloodline because only when the eye lives on will the family name live on. If you get together with that girl, you will be targeted as a hostile because you might be a probable husband for the girl despite your age. It's a tradition for them to only date when they are ready to create their next generation. And they can only date whoever the family deems worthy of marrying their child, boy or girl. And that would of course only be another Hyuuga. So you see, Naruto, your love for lady Hinata is forbidden, and can never happen if she respects her father and her family, after all, she is to become the next Hyuuga leader, isn't she?"

"That's when I gave up on you. I can't take that away from you. I want you to protect your legacy, your bloodline. I don't want to tarnish it with the blood of a jinchuuriki." "You… you…" Naruto looks up as a fist comes flying to his face. He could have easily dodged it, but he felt he had to take it, or she wouldn't be satisfied. "How can you say something like that?" Hinata sobs as she holds onto his head with both of her hands. She does a weird movement which Naruto has a hard time following up on. He really had no choice since his head was locked in between her hands. In her movement, she collapses onto her knees while drawing Naruto's head to her breastbone. She releases realizing what a foolish position she had Naruto lying in.

Finding a better posture, Naruto sits beside Hinata as she tries to understand Naruto's feelings while spilling her own. "You want to protect me so much that you don't want to sacrifice my family's jutsu to be with me? I don't get you Naruto-kun. For the first time ever, I really don't get what you're saying." "Hinata, you mean a lot to me, but I'm not going to get you in trouble for something so trivial as love." "Then why? Why did you confess to me now? Because I confessed to you?" Naruto lowers his head. It was true, he had done a terrible mistake when he confessed to her, and yet, so had she. But he didn't want to blame, afterall, she wasn't blaming him either, she just wanted to know. "I didn't want to reject you. I guess I'm being selfish, but I wanted to at least get these mixed feelings off my chest before you ran off." "You're right, that is selfish, Naruto-kun."

A horrible silence interrupts their conversation. It had left off at a horrible point which Naruto didn't know how to fix. He wanted to fix it, he wanted to be with Hinata, but he didn't want her to go through all of the trouble of getting her father to accept someone like him just so he could get to be with the girl he truly adored.

"Let me tell you this, Naruto-kun." To break off the silence, Naruto perks his head up to the half-sobbing voice coming from the girl sitting beside him. "Do you truly believe I haven't thought about everything your teacher told you?" For every word, Hinata's voice raises. Was she… mad with him? Hinata Hyuuga? Mad? With Naruto? "I took all those things in my conscience when I decided that I love you. And I can gladly say…" Her voice returns to normal when she says the last bit. "That I will love you whatever they tell me." Hinata's tears slip out of her eyes again. "I have loved you for so long, that I will do whatever it takes to be with you, as long as you don't deny my love, refusing it like you did just now because it would trouble me. So, Naruto, if you truly love me, will you walk the same road with me?"

Naruto looks down for a while as he thinks about her words. They were hard to take, hard to digest, but finally he looks up. "As long as I haven't proved myself, I can't possibly deserve your love, Hinata." As he says this, Hinata's head drops in denial. "You… you really don't want to burden me, even if I said I want to be burdened for your sake?"

"No, you don't understand, Hinata…" Naruto says, taking her right hand in his, as he gets her up. "What I'm saying is, I am but a villager in this large settlement, and you are a princess. So, if you are certain that you want to fight your father over this, then be my guest. But, until I become a Hokage, I can't possibly deserve the love of someone like you. I don't deserve your honeyed words, your kind heart, not even your smile, not until I have been acknowledged by the one whom you call "father".

"Naruto-kun… Is this the reason why you really wanted to become the Hokage?" "Maybe, maybe not. That's for you to decide, Hinata~" Naruto laughs out as he gives her a thumbs up coped with a smile. "You truly are amazing, Naruto-kun." Hinata says while wiping the still wet tears off her face. "So it's a promise then?" Naruto says out loud having turned to face Hinata once again with his arm stretched out. "Eh?" "When I become Hokage, please marry me, Hyuuga Hinata."

"EEEEEEHHHHH?!" Hinata completely blacks out on Naruto's words, as you can hear Naruto shouting out the girl's name from the bottom of the village.

So in the end it became a promise. Afterall, the blonde boy loved the timid Hyuuga back for all of this time. And every time she showed these feelings to him, he couldn't help but find it harder to let go of her. When she told him of her feelings in front of Pain, when she held his hand on the battlefield. Both of these moments had something in them that Naruto hadn't yet realized about Hinata. The real reason behind her feelings was, that she didn't just want to protect him. She admired him. And because of that, she didn't want to live in his shadow. She wanted to protect his shadow by becoming the shadow. She wanted the boy himself to admire her. But only today did the girl realize, that he had always admired her.

After all, Naruto's feelings towards Hinata may be stronger than we truly believe.