4. In for the Kill

We can fight our desires

But when we start making fires

We get ever so hot

Whether we like it or not.

They say we can love who we trust,

But what is love without lust?

Two hearts with accurate devotions

And what are feelings without emotions?

Let's go to war, to make peace.

Let's be cold, to create heat.

I hope in darkness we can see

And you're not blinded by the light from me.

("In for the Kill" by La Roux)

As it turns out, two months off from school was enough time for Snake to develop a painful crush on Ciel Phantomhive. Snake hadn't even caught a glimpse of Ciel or Sebastian all summer, and neither one of them contacted him—not that he'd ever expect them to—but Ciel was very much present in Snake's mind. Perhaps it was because Snake did very little every day other than complete his shift at Burger King and read dog-eared novels in his sunlit backyard (the backyard, because he insisted on being outside, but his mother didn't want him in the front, in full view of passerby.)

Regardless, whether Snake was working the deep-fryers or enjoying the drugging combination of sun's warmth and classic literature, thoughts of Ciel Phantomhive never really left him. Thoughts of those eyes, that smile, that face, and then there were hundreds upon hundreds of questions—What really happened in his past? Why are he and Sebastian so attached at the hip? What's his favorite color? Why does he never seem happy? What makes him as special as he is?

And so on, and so on, and so on. Snake, given his limited experience with this sort of thing, spent a lot of time wondering why Ciel was so ingrained in his thoughts after just one encounter. It was only when Snake heard one of his young neighbors shrieking at a sibling, "You don't never shut up about Jimmy Thompson! You got a crush on'im! You liiiiike him!"

And that's when a figurative light bulb went off in Snake's brain: a crush. That's what this was. It was a relief, actually, to be able to put a term on it, and such a harmless, common one like that. Snake had begun to wonder if there was something really wrong with him for his thoughts to be so stuck on one subject, but apparently, it was only a crush. And the physical symptoms, that went along with thoughts of Ciel? The increase in heart rate, the about-to-puke-but-not-really feeling in his stomach, the occasional heat in his cheeks? All a normal part of it.

It didn't particularly concern Snake that this "crush, " his first as far as he could tell, was on another boy. Up until this point, if pressed, Snake wouldn't have been able to identify himself as any sort of "-sexual," since he'd never felt anything in the way of romantic interest or tingly sensation towards another person—male, female, or otherwise. Why should it matter that Snake had a crush on Ciel Phantomhive, when at least half the school did too?

So, okay, I have a crush on Ciel, Snake thought after reasoning this out, Now...how do I get rid of it?

After asking just about everybody he knew, Google, and several library books, Snake was forced to accept the horrible answer: he couldn't.

Eliminating a crush on one's own? Not possible. Do not pass go, do not collect $200 dollars. Snake was stuck with it. And he would be sitting at Ciel's table for the rest of the year. Every day.

Well, Snake thought, this...will be terribly awkward.

OoO

First day of school, lunch hour, Ciel gave Snake a neutral glance. The dark-haired teen looked cool and unruffled as always, and maybe a little sleepy.

"Hey," he said simply as Snake approached the table. Immediately, Snake's stomach started doing that wretched fluttering thing, but he quashed it.

I'll bet he knows already. He looks right through you, and you suck at hiding it anyway.

There it was again: that awful little voice that sometimes sounded off in Snake's head. It'd been there as long as he could remember, but he'd gotten very good at shutting it out. Snake hardly ever heard it anymore, except times like these, when he was nervous and out of his element. At times like these, that little voice could do real damage.

Ciel does not know, Snake told the voice firmly.

Better hope not. If he knew about your pathetic little infatuation, he'd laugh. Can't blame him—it's highly hilarious.

Snake winced, but otherwise ignored his nasty inner voice as he sat down.

"Hello," He said, glancing around the table.

"Hey! You're that freaky emo kid with the scales!" A girl with soft, shiny brown hair and eyes proclaimed. Like Lizzie, she was wearing a cheerleading uniform.

"Ohmigod, Paula!" Lizzie practically shrieked, smacking her friend almost violently on the arm, "Why would you say something like that?"

"Oh!" The brunette turned beet-red as she looked back at Snake, "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean it like that!"

"Then how did you mean it?!" Lizzie demanded, not relenting in her attack.

"I—I don't know!"

Ciel glanced over at Snake, then rolled his azure eyes slowly heavenward. Sebastian caught the gesture and smirked. Snake found it funny as well, even though it made his heart try to break out of his chest cavity.

"So, Snake," Ciel said over the girls' chatter, "how was your summer?"

"Uh, I just stayed home and worked," Snake admitted.

"Oh. That Sucks," Sebastian said with the air of one who really doesn't give a damn.

Lizzie, on the other hand, whirled on Snake, "Oh, I was stuck home too! Why didn't you text me or something? We could've hung out."

"...I didn't know I could," Snake answered honestly. Ciel's expression didn't change, but something in his eyes flickered, giving Snake the impression that he found that answer amusing.

Lizzie sighed wistfully. "I wanted to go on vacation with Ciel and Sebastian, but my mom was all 'young lady, you are not staying in some hotel with two teenage boys!'"

The blonde made her voice high and crotchety, and she pronounced the last word like a swear. It must have been a good impression, because Paula giggled and both Ciel and Sebastian looked like they were close to snickering.

"Anyways," the girl puffed out a breath, "how were the Hamptons?"

"I got a sunburn. And there's sand in all my clothes," Ciel answered flatly, then he turned to glare at Sebastian, "Oh, and when we went to these awesome clubs—there were girls there, you see—so of course I had to spend 75k on Cristal Methuselah champagne. You know, for the ladies."

It took Snake a minute to process Ciel's statement for several reasons:

a. It was the longest statement Ciel had ever said in Snake's presence.

b. It contained more sarcasm than Snake had ever heard in a single sentence before.

c. Cristal Methuselah sounded like the name of a scary monster.

d. 75k.

"What Ciel is trying to say," Sebastian spoke over the crushing hatred of Ciel's glare, "is that we had a great time."

"I don't even drink champagne," Ciel grumbled.

"Ciel likes gay drinks," Sebastian addressed the table helpfully, "like daiquiris and mudslides. With whipped cream and maraschino cherries on top."

"Stop doing that," Ciel snapped.

"I'm just translating," Sebastian responded innocently, "not everybody speaks obnoxious-depressive."

Ciel stared at Sebastian for a long time. "I hate you. I'm getting new friends."

"They're like this all the time," Lizzie giggled at Snake and Paula, "it's kind of cute, actually."

Snake smiled. He was thinking that he could get used to this. Even this...crush, he could learn to ignore it. He loved just listening to these people talk. The way Ciel was gruff but affectionate with Lizzie; how he could just barely contain his annoyance when she and Paula got silly; how Sebastian was completely cordial, without even a hint of flirtation, towards Lizzie; how Ciel and Sebastian could back-and-forth endlessly with such astounding fluidity.

By the time the bell rang, Snake wasn't nervous anymore. He was relaxed, almost comfortable. As the mass exodus began, Ciel leaned across the table, close enough to make Snake's heart hop off its normal rhythm once again.

"Oh, and since the weather's still nice, and Red and Lau are still in town, I'm having a thing at my house. 8 o clock, okay?"

"A...thing?" Snake wondered if Ciel intentionally tried to toss him off his guard every chance he got, or if it was second nature.

"A pool thing," Ciel said, with one of those amused flickers.

"I don't have a car," Snake said. It wasn't an excuse or an apology, just a fact.

"I'll have someone pick you up," Ciel said with a pointed look at Sebastian.

"'Someone' means me, doesn't it?" Sebastian said, arching an eyebrow. Ciel said nothing. "Right. Oh, of course I'll give him a ride. Cause God knows I'm your fucking errand boy."

The corner of Ciel's lips twitched. "Yeah. And don't you forget it."

Then, seeming to get bored of the whole conversation, Ciel turned and strode out of the lunchroom. Sebastian rolled his eyes in an indulgent way and followed, leaving Snake with the rest of the stragglers.

Before disappearing into the sea of milling students, Ciel looked back at Snake over his shoulder, "See you tonight."