Ganon left the stable with a bulging wallet, two magnificent bows and a bevy of arrows both explosive and not, a sledgehammer, a knife, a standard issue soldier's shield and sword, an excellent set of gauntlets, a new pair of boots, two engorged bags of rice, mushrooms, radishes, carrots, and who knew what else, a pair of pants that actually fit him, the entire dental contents of some poor moblin's mouth, six bottles of milk, five pounds of butter, no less than three dried lizards, and the merchant Beedle's scarf.

Zelda followed on Stew's back in the rest of Beedle's clothes and a wide-brimmed hat.

Above them, the afternoon sun was brutal, but the steady breeze flowing over the fields and parting the sea of grass on either side of the path like hair through unseen fingers made it bearable. Zelda wondered how long it would take for the sunrays to cook Ganon's exposed shoulders and torso like an egg. Secretly, she hoped he turned crimson in the last few hours of daylight.

But the grass was green, the birds sang trills up above, and the clusters of trees disturbing the fields still had full leaves and rich red apples on their branches. For all the turmoil and unrest the land had seen in the past one hundred years, Zelda noticed that the path was still surprisingly well-beaten. It wound westwards in front of them over the gentle hills disrupting the otherwise flat landscape and occasional lakes and groves, and she could see much the same vista as she remembered from before Hyrule fell. On the horizon to the north stood Death Mountain's glowing silhouette, and then west of that the lip of Hyrule Ridge jutting up and pushing back the purple-red rock of Tabantha and the Hebra Mountains, just as she had left it.

Except, instead of sitting regally at the center like a tiara hanging between the brows of a proud, noble ruler, Hyrule castle lurked in the near distance, gloomy, empty, like a gutted, greying corpse with gaping, empty holes where its eyes should be. She turned around to face Ganon as he followed the path around the edge of the Forest of Time, and towards the gargantuan mass of the Great Plateau.

"You know," Zelda said as she and Stew followed behind Ganon and his laden deer, "You've got quite an eye for mercantile pursuits. Kakariko Village is near another settlement known for its merchant and trade population. I'm sure you could barter for anything you wanted, there!"

Stew shook his head as if in agreement.

"Hm," said Ganon. "I'll give you points for the compliment, but nah." He held up a hand over his head and waved behind him, right at Zelda. "But have fun going there without me!"

"But, but, in Kakariko, they have your favorite, ah." it hit Zelda like an entire laden wagon that she had no idea what Ganon even liked, or really anything about him. Link would have been enticed by the Kakariko pumpkins, but his eccentric, flighty shade was a totally different creature, and he even knew it. How was she meant to persuade someone that barely knew himself? "I'm sure your steed would be much happier headed towards the woods and rivers of Necluda and not the dry sands of Gerudo, don't you think?"

"'Bye 'bye!" Ganon singsonged over his shoulder. His stag glared at him as best he could from below.

"You won't even consider it?" Zelda asked, bidding Stew to hurry forwards and bring her alongside Ganon. "Do you have any idea what's out there?"

"I already told you, blondie, I'll prepare myself as I go. It'll be great! It'll be fine. Now, stop following me and go take Stew to your little fairytale village, alright?" Ganon rubbed at the underside of his nose. "If it's still standing, of course."

Zelda's eyes widened. "What is that supposed to mean?! I know Kakariko is still there- I'm not an idiot, you know!"

"I mean, it's been a while, for you."

Zelda ground her teeth. "I even asked a man at the stables, just to be sure!"

Ganon rolled his eyes and mimicked her. Then, he said, "Well, that's great. Why don't you head on over there, like you wanted? Aren't you the one who made a big stink about it?"

Finding Impa in Kakariko wouldn't mean a thing if she lost Ganon, and by extension the hero he'd forgotten he was supposed to be. She flipped her hair and looked out over the nearing, sun-lightened waters of Lake Kolomo. "I changed my mind."

Ganon snorted along with his steed and looked out through a break in the trees. "Oh. That's nice. Very scenic."

Zelda looked out to see what had taken his attention, and found the unassuming Lake Kolomo shining gold in the late afternoon sun. Next to it, the ruined Kolomo Garrison clung to the shore, all but levelled.

"What a dump," Ganon commented. "I looted there earlier." He spread his hands out. "Nothing. No thing. Not a thing. Not even a rusted piece of metal I could shove between a Bokoblin's eye."

Once, the Garrison had been a quaint little outpost, but now, it was like a giant had taken a hammer and smashed it to its foundations. A tattered, ragged, threadbare royal banner stirred pathetically in the breeze. The dirtied red of the fabric looked like dried, crusted blood. Zelda turned away, her hand over her mouth, and instead found the shrivelled, burnt remnants of the tiny town that the soldiers used to sneak away to for drinks. Ruined pillars of wood and stone protruded into the sky like the raised arms of children begging the heavens for help, and still asking.

"It's like they tried to erase that we were ever even here," Zelda said, transfixed. The dichotomy of what she should be seeing and what she was seeing filled her ears with cotton, and her head with a dull throb. How else had her kingdom suffered? Was there anything left for her to rebuild?

What other, more sinister threats were still left even in the Calamity's absence?

Ganon again glanced at Lake Kolomo, now over his shoulder. "Hm. Nice lake, though. Probably has some good fish." He nudged his stag to speed up and leave Zelda alone with her thoughts.

Stew plodded along after Ganon, oblivious and unaffected, even over the shallow pockets of water that had pooled in the road without anyone to shore it up through the years. He snorted when the road ended in a fork, and when Zelda failed to give him any direction, turned right after Ganon and his stag.

"I used to ride here all the time," Zelda said. "With you. Don't you remember?"

Ganon raised his eyebrows and chuckled. "Uh, no." He clicked his tongue and nudged the sides of his stag again. "I don't like being so close to that big cliff, there," he called back. "Especially not while we're on the open road. That'd be stupid." He cast a wary eye to the Great Plateau jutting up from the ground on his left like something could fire down at them at any moment. The man-made stone wall covering its face loomed over them like a mask enshrouding the ever-wakeful eyes of its wearer, vigilant even in disrepair.

They passed another fork in the road in silence. Ganon looked at it with some interest, but then shrugged and stayed his course. He looked up at the stone facade of the Plateau again. "So, is that some kind of fortress?" he asked. "Doesn't look like a structure meant just for reinforcing the cliff. Looks more," he gestured vaguely, "you know."

"No," said Zelda. "That's the site of the oldest known Hylian civilization."

"Oh, yeah?" said Ganon. "Huh. That's cool, I guess." He glared at the facade again as they trotted along. The sun glinted off his back like the glow of a fire on the skin of a plucked chicken, and he pulled his red scarf over his head, and hunched over. "It's pretty secure. Dunno why you didn't put your castle up there, then, but that's fine."

"It was, once. Long, long ago." The Plateau housed Hyrule's oldest buildings, and its most revered, famous Goddess statue. It was also the same site where she had heard the voice of the Goddess, and the last place she had seen the Link she remembered. If anywhere was still sacred in Hyrule, it was there.

"Can you… can you hear anything?" Zelda asked. "In your head. A voice. Music. Anything."

Ganon looked over at her and gave a roguish grin. "What, you think I'm crazy?" He held up a hand. "Scratch that. You think I'd admit to hearing voices in my head, if I did- which I do not, by the way- and grace that with an answer?" He waved her away. "Nah."

"No, no," Zelda said. "Not like that. I mean more like, like," she bit her lip and searched the horizon, "Like someone else- something else- is speaking to you. Something with a great, mysterious power."

"...Can you hear anything like that?"

Zelda's brow creased under the weight of her shame and guilt. "No. But please, listen. Tell me if anything comes to you. Just… just humor me. Please." Stew slowed himself to a stop, and Ganon's stag took the hint to stop as well.

Ganon looked at her, suddenly serious, and Zelda searched his blue eyes. It was like looking into a pool and having the pristine bottom stare right back at you. Honest. Clear. Unpolluted.

Utterly, completely shallow. "Nope." He nudged his stag back into motion. "Why would you ask me a thing like that?"

"The hero can hear the voice of the gods and spirits," Zelda said, quietly. "You could. In your sword, sometimes. And I thought that, well," she gave another longing look to the facade of the Great Plateau, "If anything or anyone were to try and speak to you, they would do it here."

Ganon rolled his shoulders, and his good humor spread over him again. "Well, too bad I'm not the Hero or whatever. But a talking sword! Incredible. In-cre-di-ble. What would a sword even say?" He held up his hand to the sword strapped to his back and flapped his thumb and fingers open and shut like a mouth while a falsetto came out of him. "Hi! I'm a magical talking sword and I like to slice things. Cut him! Cut him! Whee! Yeah! I just looooove killin' things and bathing in the blood of my enemies. Oh boy howdy, I sure do!" He shoved his hand over into Zelda's face. "Hey, kids! I'm Swordy McSwordface. Don't play with me, or you'll never be able to use your hands ever again! Why? Why?! Because I'll chop 'em off, you dumb, knife-eared hooligans! Rip your dreams of competitive thumb wars right out of your poor, bloody little hands- except, you won't have any! Haha!" Ganon held his hand-mouth and real mouth open by Zelda's head for a few more seconds, and then settled back into his saddle when she barely spared him a gloomy glance. "Well, alright, fine, be that way," he said, falsetto forgotten. "What's special about here?"

Zelda wiped at her eyes. "This is where you woke." She pointed to the top of the Plateau. "Up there. The Shrine of Resurrection is in the center." Stew whinnied softly in sympathy. "There used to be a stairway to the Plateau, but one would need to dig it out, now." She pointed to an archway molded in the rock facade, and a mound of dirt spewing forth from it and sealing it all the way to the top.

"A gate?" Ganon whispered, eyes widening at the archway. "There's been a way down all this time?" For whatever reason, he turned from the Plateau to Zelda with an energy that didn't suit him. "This road. How far does it follow along this Plateau? Blondie?"

"Just a little ways. It splits away at the mouth of the pass, there." She pointed in front of her, where a second, smaller plateau sprang up from the land and created a wall on the right of the path, too. Then, she looked at the crumbling upper edge of the stone wall crowning the top of the Great Pateau, squinting in the face of the slowly setting sun, and traced the line of golden-orange light glinting from the uneven edge where the facade abruptly ended and left only exposed rock in its place. "There's nothing up there, is there?"

Ganon urged his stag to speed up into a canter. "Just hurry up! We shouldn't stay so close. I knew I should've taken that other right… Damn it!" He patted his stag's neck. "I know you don't like this, but just a little farther. Please. C'mon." The stag snorted, and then complained with a high whine. "I really didn't think she was gonna come with us, so I didn't wanna give her the bags, okay? I'm sorry!"

Zelda urged Stew along, and he caught up to them at an even clip. "What's the matter?" she asked. "I thought I left you in the most secure place in Hyrule. What's up there?"

Ganon's eyes never left the Plateau's edge. "...I just don't like it." He took stock of the setting sun. "Especially not when it's getting dark."

Zelda shook her head. "The biggest danger at night are the skeletons under our feet, right here," she said. "There's nothing on the Plateau, unless you found something- or did something." She narrowed her eyes. "What did you do?"

"Nothing!" Ganon snapped, now. "Nothing. I didn't do anything. I just don't like it. Alright?" His stag's ears flattened. "Let's just hurry. We should find shelter."

The path followed the curve of the Plateau until it eased away and split again, with one branch bending back to follow the Plateau's retreating face, and the other leading in the opposite direction. The roar of the great waterfall of the River of the Dead roared in the distance with an eerie familiarity in Zelda's ears.

Ganon chose the path parting from the Plateau's perimeter without a second thought.

The pass through the rocks was flat, and the road was packed with gravel instead of only dirt. The faint smell of smoke wafted in the air, and grew stronger the deeper the two of them journeyed into the pass. In the distance, Zelda saw another woman on horseback travelling towards them, a lantern at her side. She waved, curious as to where someone would be heading as night drew near, but Ganon urged his steed onwards and breezed by her completely.

"What's wrong with him?" the woman asked Zelda. Her hair was short and dark, and her horse was white and black speckled beneath its laden, chocolate-brown saddle, though the glow of the lantern hanging in its rider's hand made it look orange. "Is a ghost following him to the stables, or something?"

"Stables?" Zelda asked.

"Sure," the woman said, pointing down the path. "Just around the curve. See the trees by that glowing thing?" Sure enough, Zelda could see a small grove nestled into a hill made of rock- and more importantly, she realized with a start that a shrine sat atop the hill, glowing bright orange in the cracks littered over its obsidian surface. "You'll start going around there, right, and then there's a round building with a giant horse's head on top. Can't miss it. And say, was he riding a deer?!"

A stable was fine, but a Shrine was better. If she could convince Ganon to give her the Slate, she could at least study the gifts of the ancients even if he did slip away forever.

If she was especially clever, though, perhaps she could find a way to restore his memory without Impa's help.

Zelda thanked the woman and sent Stew after Ganon. "Hey!" she called as she neared the trees. "I need the Slate! I need-!" She pulled Stew to a skidding stop as the stable's patchwork metal-and-fabric head grinned down at her from beneath the rising crescent moon. Ganon stood at the counter at the front of the main tent, still mounted, discussing something with the stablemaster.

Unlike the Riverside stable, which was on the beach and in the open air, this one filled its secluded nook in the rocks and trees comfortably. The source of the smoke smell, a campfire and well-used pot, sat on the stable's far side, and an old man and mother and child set leaned against the crates of hay and supplies surrounding it. Zelda picked up on the fragrance of meat and carrot stew simmering in the heat. Behind them, their horses grazed contentedly on the hay laid out in front of their open-air stalls while a lethargic stable hand split up another bale and spread it in front of them.

Zelda dismounted and excitedly led Stew by the reins onto the stable grounds. "There's a Shrine!" she said, eyes shining. "Another one! If you give me the Slate, I can take a look inside, and-!"

Ganon ignored her in favor of the stablemaster leering at him over the counter. "So, my mount. How much're we talkin' for an exception, here? Fifty? A hundred?" He grinned at the stablemaster, earlier fright forgotten. He even smirked at the man. "Maybe if you don't want rupees, I can pay you for boarding my stag with somethin' else," he said. "Some other payment?" He whipped his scarf from his head in a glorious arc, and put on a show by leaning back in his seat with a wink. "We can use one of your beds, if you want. It's whatever you want."

Zelda dropped Stew's reigns and clapped both hands over her reddening face, totally mortified. Did Ganon not have any decency?! Did he have no shame?!

The poor stablemaster hemmed and hawed, and changed color to match Ganon's red scarf, even in the low light of the lanterns illuminating the tent's front counter. "J-just put your steed with the oxen in the back," he said, and escaped to the interior of his tent.

"What is wrong with you?!" Zelda cried.

Ganon turned around. "Oh! There you are!" He grinned.

"Y-you can't just," Zelda shook her head in abject horror, "proposition yourself like that! And in front of all these people?!" If Ganon remembered who he was, he would surely die of embarrassment, right then and there! Shy Link, the chosen Hero of Hyrule, the boy who could barely ask for a glass of water without stuttering, seducing a civilian for a free night's stay?! It was downright scandalous!

Ganon rolled his eyes. "You can do things your way, and I'll do them my way. So you can just sleep alone tonight and buy a bed with the money you don't have, or go right on your merry way! As for me," he gestured to his stag, "I've got a place for both of us, no muss and no fuss."

Zelda grit her teeth. "You have enough money to pay for all of us."

"Oh, what, so you followed me because I've got the cash? Freeloader," Ganon criticized. "Saving you from a big ooze monster wasn't good enough. Paying for your new clothes wasn't good enough. Making sure- for two nights in a row, I might add- that you got to a safe place wasn't good enough, either! Nothing's enough for you! Nothing!" He dismounted dramatically and unloaded his stag. "I'll never be good enough! Oh! Woe is me!" He slung his bags over his shoulder and patted his stag's neck. It spat at him and trotted deeper into the trees.

"Love you, too," Ganon called after it, and then spun on his heel to find Zelda, still waiting. "Oh! You're still here," he said.

She held out her hand. "Give me the Sheikah Slate."

Ganon looked at the glowing Slate affixed to his belt, and then turned his side away from her, defensive. "No."

"Why not?! What's it to you?! It's only a piece of junk in your eyes, isn't it?"

Ganon held a short staring contest with her in the low light of the lanterns strung around the stable, and for a moment, Zelda thought she saw a ripple of something substantial travel across his face. It must have been a trick of the light; it was gone as soon as it came, and left a big, goofy grin in its place. "I just like having the power to get such a rise out of you," he said, and practically skipped off to the group of people huddled by the fire of the cooking pot. "Hello, fellow travellers! It's so nice to meet you!" He grinned. "You can call me Ganon, like the Calamity!"

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Somehow, even with his tasteless introduction, Ganon managed to start a drinking circle with everyone at the stables- except the child, who was fast asleep in his mother's lap despite the inebriated cacophony happening all around him.

Zelda, however, was agonizingly sober between the old man, named Toffa, and one of the travelling merchants that happened by. In front of them, Ganon reenacted a raunchy, farcical, untrue tale of how he slayed the real Calamity Ganon between refilling the stablemaster's own cup of mulled wine. Now, the poor man was swaying back and forth out of time with the rhythmic clapping of the rest of Ganon's audience while Ganon himself dramatically pulled the ladle from the stew and faux-fought the shadows dancing in the flames.

"A jab left! A slash right! A parry, parry, parry, just like they teach you in basic swordsmanship, folks, but that's not very impressive without an opponent!" He hopped up onto the top of the stack of crates. "He had me on the edge of the castle walls, then, and I could see it in his eyes that he was about to toss me off the side like yesterday's chamber pot and watch me explode in a rank supernova of extremely handsome shit when I hit the ground, but he wasn't ready for the oldest trick in the book!" Ganon gestured grandly with his ladle. "Hey! What's that over there?!"

The audience, sans Zelda, stopped clapping and turned around. The stablemaster clapped a few more times before he found it in himself to do the same. Nothing was there except the night sky and darkened rocks. Everyone turned back around, confused.

Ganon had his bow drawn, but no arrow notched. "...And then I pulled out my bow and shot it so far up its glowing, goopy asshole that the arrow came out its forehead!" Ganon exclaimed, and punctuated it with the twang of his unladen bowstring.

The audience roared with laughter, excluding the person who had actually witnessed the truth of the situation firsthand.

The old man slapped Zelda's arm as Ganon took a bow. "And the princess! Here! Tell us about your princess over here!" He cackled.

A flushing stablehand and a few tipsy merchants joined in. "Yeah! Yeah!"

Ganon looked at Zelda, stupefied, and then broke out into a devilish grin. He held out a hand. In the flickering light of the fire, he looked like a demon beckoning her into the fiery abyss.

Zelda shook her head, mortified.

Ganon jumped down from his perch and advanced towards her, smoke trailing after him. His smile looked downright venomous. "Ah, yes. Her Royal Highness, the princess Zelda of Hyrule."

"No," she mouthed. "Don't make me part of your schemes," she said. Formal address had never been her favorite, but informal address to the drunken remnants of a broken ex-kingdom she barely knew was unthinkable!

"Oh, you brought this on yourself," Ganon mouthed back.

"C'mon," the old man urged. "Don't leave him waiting!" He and the stablehand to her right pushed her to her feet. "Go on! Have some fun!"

Ganon snatched her hand and pulled her forwards. "The princess, Zelda! Isn't she beautiful, ladies and gentlemen?! The ideal of all Hyrule, and guardian of the land for one hundred years!" He nudged her. "Funny, though, she doesn't look a day over nineteen!"

The little crowd laughed- even the stablemaster gave an obnoxious, high, hiccuping chortle, once everyone else finished.

"Together, we're travelling across the land to rediscover the kingdom once thought lost, and rid the world of its monsters, one well-shot arrow up the asshole at a time!" Ganon postured. He slipped an arm around Zelda and gestured to the crowd. "All for you, my good people."

"How dare you deceive them!" Zelda hissed, slapping his arm away.

"Wasn't this kind of what you wanted?" he shot back, gritting his teeth at her before again smiling at the hodgepodge crowd of merchants, travelers, and vagabonds.

"Kiss her!" one of the merchants, a man with black hair and striking black-framed glasses, called from his seat.

Zelda felt both herself and Ganon freeze. They looked to one another in tandem.

No. absolutely not! Zelda stepped away from Ganon in a panic, searching for an escape to anywhere but in the center of the people's attention.

Luckily, the stablemaster rolled forwards off his seat and into a drunken heap. Ganon took the opportunity and rushed forwards to steady him. "And with that, ladies and gentlemen, it's time to say good night!" He tossed the stablemaster's arm over his neck and helped him into the stable tent.

Behind them, the other denizens complained and whined, but gathered themselves up and followed suit. The woman gathered up her child, the merchants gathered their bags of goods, and the other travelers gathered up enough composure to stumble inside themselves until only Zelda was left by the crackling fire and burnt remnants of stew.

Ganon's head popped back out of the tent. "Princess, be a dear and put out the fire, would you? There was a bucket for water by the horse stalls, but I think Stew stuck his head out and drank it all while I was addressing the good people of Ganonland."

"This is your mess," Zelda shot back. "Why should I clean it up?!"

Ganon blinked at her. "I was trying to do you a favor, really," he said. "I've been promised to," he glanced inside the tent, "another task, and I thought you might appreciate a distraction from-!"

Zelda stormed over to the stalls and snatched up the water bucket with the fury of a thousand Keese overtaken by red-eyed bloodthirst, and an appropriately colored face.

"Thank you!" Ganon called, and then dashed into the stable tent.

A pool of water had gathered not far down the path away from the stables. Zelda had seen it on the way in. She lit a torch and fled down the path towards it, a plan formulating in her mind along with a thousand curses aimed in Ganon's direction. If she still had the power of the Goddess, she was sure she could banish him like the monster he was, and bring back the Hero she knew! But of course, that was wishful thinking. It was her job to make her own magic.

Zelda scooped up a bucketful of water from the pool on the side of the road and made her way back to the stables, a plan formulating in her mind. She would wait until she was sure Ganon was asleep, and steal the Sheikah Slate. Then, she would go directly to the Shrine above them, and then, well, that was yet to be seen.

She returned to the fire- ashes now, really- and it smothered beneath the water with a dying hiss. Then, she steeled herself and peeked inside the tent.

"Please be asleep," Zelda prayed.

The beds in this stable were arranged identical to the last- a semicircle around the edges, with one small table to offset the arrangement. All of them but one were occupied with fully-clothed individuals carelessly draped over their mattresses.

Ganon was not among them. Zelda stood over the snoring stablemaster's bed and examined the pattern of the blankets beneath him, just to be sure.

She ran outside and into the cool night air. Could he have left her? Stew was still in his stall. Was his stag still in the woods? She couldn't tell, with only moonlight to guide her. The dirt crunched beneath her sandals as she ran onto the path again and called his name.

No answer. She tried again.

"Link!" she cried. "Link! Where are you?!"

Her voice echoed between the rock walls containing the path. She pressed her hands to her temples and looked at the ground. It was too hard-packed and well-travelled to leave any hoofprints. Which way had he gone?

It didn't matter; she had to make a decision and take a chance, or risk losing both him and the Slate for good.

Zelda turned around to call for Stew, and noticed a blue light shining from the top of the rocky rise above the stable that had not been there before. She darted towards it to get a clearer view, just to be sure.

The Shrine. It had been shining orange, earlier. It dawned on Zelda- had Ganon actually gone inside? Had he been the one to activate it? Surely not- he absolutely hated the first one and tried to avoid it entirely!

But then, who else could have done such a thing?! Who else had the knowledge, the means, the Slate?

Zelda hurried closer to the Shrine, asking herself over and over again if it was a trick of the white-blue moonlight following over the edges of the glossy black stone, and then froze in place as a soft hum cut through the whining melody of the crickets in the grass. She dove to take cover behind one of the few trees scattered around the stable and peeked out from around the side.

Ganon appeared in the doorway of the Shrine accompanied by a flash of blue light and stepped out into the open air.

He glanced around and crouched down low, like he might be hiding from eyes unseen, and then made his way down the steep, rocky hillside and back to the stable. He scaled the uneven rocks like some kind of flesh-colored lizard and stalked through the grass as naturally as a cat.

Zelda emerged from her own hiding spot and charged into the stable, mouth agape. Only the thud of her soles on the wooden floor announced her presence, though, as not even her confusion could prod her to wake an entire tent full of drowsing drunks.

For his part, Ganon sat up and grinned at her from the end of the stablemaster's bed. He had removed both of their shoes and opened the stablemaster's thick tunic to expose his bare chest, and was now snuggled up beneath the blankets on his other side. "We did it with his hat on," Ganon mouthed, pointing at his snoring bedmate, and then pulled the blankets over his head.

Liar.

Zelda crept over to him and whacked him on the head.

Ganon removed the blankets. "Ow!" he whispered, dramatic.

"I saw you," Zelda accused, voice hushed for the sake of peace and quiet.

"That's not my fault!" Ganon retorted. "I told you what was gonna happen!"

Zelda almost smacked him again, but then stopped herself. "Give me the Slate!" she said. It was still strapped to his waist.

Ganon gave her a blank look, and then mouthed what Zelda was absolutely sure was a monologue of absolute nonsense.

"I will wake up everyone in this tent if you don't give me that Sheikah Slate right now, so help me!"

Ganon rolled his eyes and parroted her sentiment right back to her. She raised her hand to grab him by the ear, but he suddenly grabbed the stablemaster's supine body and rolled it over himself like a human shield.

"Have at thee," he grunted from beneath the other man's weight, and then slid more blankets between their bodies to cover his face. "Good luck explaining to this guy whatever the heck you were tryin' to do."

Zelda made as if to shove him away anyway, stopped, covered her face, stomped her feet in a circle, pulled her hair, and choked down a scream. "I hate you," she said, feeling the fire behind her cheeks heat up.

"Yeah, fine. 'Night!" Ganon said, sliding down the top of his blanket and peering out at Zelda from below the man snoozing open-mouthed on top of him. "Sleep tight!"

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Author's Note: Written and uploaded in a hurry! Not super happy with this one, but I hope you enjoy it anyway! Thank you for reading and reviewing!