Chapter 4
First, I want to apologize for such a late update. I took a bit of a break to focus on the latter half of my semester, which I finished :) I also have been working on another story that I will be uploading here shortly after this update. The same story is/will be posted on ArchiveofOurOwn under the same username: quxxn_lou
I hope this meets everyone's expectations, and I hope you guys leave reviews. I will respond to them, perhaps even mention them in the next update :)
Everyone is apparently required to wake up at 6 am every morning, which makes me incredibly depressed. Lauren is the one to wake me up for breakfast, poking my cheek because she is apparently worried about hurting my injury by shaking me, which I suppose makes sense. Apparently, I am not an early riser because I attempt to bite Lauren's finger, making her laugh.
"Riley, if you don't get ready soon, Captain Levi will be pissed," she tells me once I turn my face away. "He pretty much takes over when it comes to training since Commander Erwin is always occupied in his office."
"Let him be mad," I mumble, rubbing my groggy eyes. "What's he going to do? Beat me up?"
"Worse," she leans in close, whispering into my ear. "He makes you clean. For hours."
"Clean?" I finally manage to sit up, much to my body's protests. "What's wrong with a little bit of sweeping?"
"Don't make me laugh," she says with a serious voice. I just give her a weird look, but she flicks my forehead, making me pout. "Captain is very OCD when it comes to cleaning. You never really pass his inspections, but after spending the majority of the day scrubbing your life away, he just gives up."
"Whatever, I'll get up," I mumble, kicking my feet off the edge of the bed. "But only for you."
Lauren flashes me a pearly white grin, and that's when I notice what she's wearing. She's dressed in what looks like the uniform for this branch of the military. The uniform consists of a short, light brown jacket with a badge on both shoulders, on the front left pocket and on the center of the back, a light-colored shirt, a dark brown sash around the waist, white pants, and dark brown knee-high leather boots. The whole getup looks like a heat stroke waiting to happen, and I'm thankful I don't have to wear one today. Then again, I'm going to stick out like a sore thumb.
The walk to the mess hall makes my heart rate accelerate, making me curse my anxiety. Lauren assures me that it won't be as bad as I think it's going to be, but she can't be more wrong. As soon as we enter the doors, I'm greeted with many pairs of eyes, watching my every movement.
"I told you we were gonna be the last ones to show up," Lauren mutters in my ear. I roll my eyes, hating how right she was. Thankfully, she speaks up, yelling, "What are you all staring at? Never seen a woman before?!"
Slowly, the soldiers avert their gazes, though several still have their eyes set on me. All I can do is blush a deep crimson and follow Lauren to the food line, praying I don't trip. There aren't many options, but I do see fresh bread and stuff that looks like oatmeal, so I decide to go down that route. Further down the line, there is a choice between coffee and tea, so I go for the latter. I can't remember the types of food that I used to eat, but something in my system tells me to avoid the coffee.
Lauren leads me to a table near the back corner, which I am thankful for. It's out of the way from a lot of people's harsh looks, and there are fewer people in this area in general. My eyes fall upon the two guys that occupy the wooden table as well, and my, are they attractive.
"Guys!" Lauren chirps as we place our trays on the table opposite to them. "This is Riley! She's going to be our new friend, so please don't scare her off."
"It's going to be hard to scare someone that has already met the people in command," one says. He looks to be my age, brunette hair styled in a quiff, tan skin, and muscles that seem prevalent even with the uniform on. With a wink, he introduces himself. "I'm Derrick Williams, pleasure to meet you!"
"Nice to meet you," I say kindly with a nod.
"I'm Hagan," the blonde one introduces. He also looks the same age and has gorgeous green eyes.
"These were the guys that found you in the woods, by the way," Lauren mentions, making my eyes widen.
"Seriously?!" I choke. Derrick grins wildly, while Hagan just gives a small smile. "I-I… thank you! If you guys didn't spot me, I would've been dead."
"Oh, I'm sure someone would've seen you in the daylight," Derrick says with a chuckle, trying to divert the emotional rant I'm about to go on. "But it's no problem."
"We're just glad you're okay," Hagan says quietly. He seems to be a person that keeps to himself, which I can respect.
The meal is very bland, as if my taste buds have tried much finer cuisines in the past, but I finish it nonetheless. I want my wound to be healed as fast as possible, which surprisingly, after all the shit I've been through, it's doing pretty good. The fracture must have been very small since I can walk around just fine, minus some pain when I exert myself too much or breathe heavily. While I think about this as I sip my tea, I can't help but get the feeling that I'm being watched. I strategically turn my head slightly, the teacup still to my lips as I catch a glimpse of a table across the room.
"Shit!" I almost drop the cup as I see the harsh gaze of Levi. God, it's like his eyes could penetrate my soul. Whenever he sees my clumsy tea spill and flustered appearance, he almost smirks. Almost.
"You look like you just saw a ghost," Lauren says concerningly as she lightly touches my back. I just embarrassingly stare at the empty tray in front of me, still startled by that man's stare.
"Nah," Derrick lets out a soft chuckle as he stares directly behind me, right where I spotted Levi before. "She's being harshly scrutinized by the captain. He's probably told to keep an eye on you or something."
"Yeah, or something," Lauren giggles softly. I raise my eyebrows whenever both Derrick and Hagan groan. I'm a little scared.
"You're such a hopeless romantic, Abel," Derrick mutters, causing Lauren to hold her hands up defensively.
"I'm just saying!" She pouts. "The guy never had a girlfriend and probably gets lonely! You never know what's going through that guy's head!"
"Oh I know what's going through his head," I say with an eye roll. They all look at me questionably. "He thinks that I'm a little turd and that, I quote, I look 'disgusting.'"
"Pfft." Derrek laughs at my response, making me snort as well. "He's a jackass sometimes-"
"A lot of the time," I clarify.
"Right," he nods. "He probably thought of you like a disease with all the dirt and stuff covering your body. Which by the way- you're not disgusting."
"Gee thanks," I say sarcastically, earning another chuckle. "Is he really that obsessed with cleaning? Or is that some kind of joke with the Survey Corps."
"A little bit of both," Hagan Chimes in after his silent period. "He wouldn't be out killing titans if he weren't afraid to get his hands dirty. But he still manages to make us do a deep clean at least once a week."
"Enough about the captain's weird habits," Lauren waves off the boys, facing me again. "Captain Levi must have some romantic heart deep-"
"Deep deep deep deep deep deep-"
"Derrick shut up," she grumbles. Derrick sticks his tongue out at her, making her groan. "This is why I need girls like Riley around! I want to have guy talk without the guys."
"I can give you guy talk, but just not about Captain Levi," I tell her, earning a pout. "He's not into me, and I'm frankly not into him."
"But he's attractive, no?"
"I can't tell whenever he opens his mouth," I say indifferently. "Plus I have a lot more on my plate, more than I can chew. Apparently, I'm going to become a soldier or something? I don't know about my past life, but I have a gut feeling that I was just a normal girl in the past."
"We were all normal people in the past," Hagan tells me. Suddenly the atmosphere gets a bit darker. "I don't think anyone really wants to fight. They see potential in you, which is hard to find during a time like this."
"I'm still confused with what is going on in this world," I mumble softly. "But something tells me that no one really wants to talk about it. I don't even know what expeditions you guys go on are for…"
"We'll tell you at a better time!" Lauren says in attempts to resolving the slight tension in the room. I smile softly at her sheepish expression. What an awkward girl. "Our daily training starts soon! I'm sure you'll be able to watch."
"Watch us kick some wooden titan ass," Derrick smirks, popping his knuckles. A sound I distaste.
We all exit the mess hall around the same time, even without a command or alarm. It's as if the soldiers are so used to a routine. A routine I will eventually get to be acquainted with. I make sure to stick close to Lauren, careful not to make awkward eye contact with Levi or the others as we exit. Once again, I feel the eyes of my (hopefully) future peers glance at me from time to time, but I'm starting to get used to it.
Once outside, the glint of the morning sun hits my eyes, causing me to squint. When I adjust, I take time to actually observe my surroundings. Compared to whenever I was on the brink of death, the scenery of Headquarters is actually beautiful now. Granted, humans have touched some of the land, deducting some of the earth's natural beauty. Other than the first training area, the landscape looks peaceful. Off in the distance, I can even see the forest that once haunted me now appearing restful.
"It's beautiful, right Love?" Hanji appears next to me, as if out of thin air. I let out a gasp, nearly falling off my feet. "Sorry! I just get excited when new recruits see what the Survey Corps can do! The 104th training squad will be graduating soon. There are a lot of young pupils that have plenty of time to learn the ins and outs of this place!"
"I think I need to learn that too," I tell her once I am able to regain my composure. Hanji adjusts her glasses as she peers down at me. "What exactly are they training for right now? Expeditions?"
"Correct," she tells me. "We're in charge of the exploration and the eventual reclamation of human territory, there have been some recent changes the last couple of years. Our goal now is to lay down supplies from Trost District to Wall Maria's Shiganshina District in preparation to seal the breach caused by titans. We are tasks with reclaiming wall Maria, while in the meantime learning about them."
"Titans," I say the word once again, this time a lot more hatefully. The fact that these creatures are demoralizing everyone and causing utter heartbreak breaks my heart as well, even if I still have no idea what the hell they are. With a deep breath, I turn to Hanji and ask "I need to learn more about the Titans. Do you have any books or anything about them?"
"Eh, books?" She scratches her head. "Perhaps there are some old texts in the basement, but that place hasn't been touched in a few months or so. I'll be glad to help, but I must attend to my squad. I'm so happy you're growing an interest! Maybe you'll be as intrigued as me to learn more about them rather than just killing! Research is very-"
"Hanji." The conversation is cut dry whenever Commander Erwin walks up to us. Hanji salutes, but I don't want to embarrass myself with trying. "Hello, Riley. It's good to see that you're doing better."
"Yes, sir," I nod respectfully. If I'm going to be living here, I guess I shouldn't hold too many grudges. He hums in approval, then turns to look at all the soldiers. It looks like they're doing some hand to hand combat, which I assume is to warm up. Surely, the real enemies are the Titans, and not humans, but what do I know about this world? Maybe the people fight each other, too.
"I think it's best to attend your squad," Erwin tells Hanji.
"Yes!" she turns to me with a huge, creepy smile. "I'll be sure to have one on one time with you to discuss titans and research!"
"Er...Sounds good?" I tell her, though it comes out a little forced. Still, she grins at me before walking off. That means I'm left alone with the commander, who continues to look at his team.
"You do not want to spend 'one on one' time with Hanji when it comes to titans," he says after a few moments of awkward silence. Well- awkward for me anyway.
"Why's that?" I ask curiously. I'm actually a little shocked to see a small smile form on his lips.
"Hanji once kept me up an entire night just discussing the first ten pages of her research, which only makes up about ten percent of all the material."
"Really?!" I feel a little childish for my remark, but I can't help. I let out a laugh. "I didn't know she was that crazy!"
"You'd be surprised," he says, looking down at me. Oh shit, he's definitely well over a foot taller than me. While I'm observing the funny height difference, he continues. "She's a very dedicated member of the corps. Despite her rather, unruly, personality at times, I entrust her with the protection of the squad and the rest of humanity in the walls."
"I like her the most out of the other superiors I met," I say honestly, earning a raised eyebrow from him. Well, I guess I kind of just told him I didn't like him as much. "I mean...er, she kind of has been on my side this whole time. And I have had some… personal encounters with her as well."
"Ah," he smiles fully now. "The showers, I'm assuming. When it comes to those sorts of things, she is quite confident and doesn't really understand social cues."
"There are several people that don't really understand social cues," I mutter, looking directly at the culprits. Levi and Mike walk around the premises, watching their squads intensely. Erwin notices where my eyes trail and lets out another hum.
"I wouldn't trust putting the hands of my squad's lives into those in command if I didn't have a sound mind," he says. "Levi is harsh, straight to the point, and stubborn when it comes to important things. We share a past, and I know that he has grown. He shows compassion for his team, and we have managed to share a few smiles. Same with Mike. He's not always as harsh as when you met him. He's very loyal, which is why he attacked you when he did."
I wanted to make a sarcastic remark, but his words must hold some truth. Instead, I keep my mouth shut for once, just staring straight ahead in deep thought. Derrick and Hagan are fighting each other, while Lauren is fighting a girl that looks to be her age and height. They all have adept skills with combat, as they move around almost effortlessly. However, there are some way more distinguished with their moves, such as the people in Levi's squad. They look older, with similar glints in their eyes. They all have seen awful things, yet they continue to live on.
"Come with me," Erwin instructs after a while of watching the soldiers train. I look up him, curious as to where we are going. Still, I follow orders and walk with Erwin. About two hundred feet from the training grounds lays a location filled with stables. My eyes widen when I see beautiful, large horses roaming across a fenced field.
"W-Why are you showing me this?" I ask softly as we inch closer to the majestic creatures. "Aren't I supposed to watch how the squads train?"
"We are going to watch the squads train," Erwin tells me, invoking more curiosity and confusion. "We need to get to the forest in order to witness their use of vertical maneuvering equipment in action. I don't want you to strain yourself with walking distances, and this will save us some time. Have you ridden before?"
"I don't remember," I reply plainly as I reach up to pet one of the horses. Its face is soft, and even though there are several flies around it, the animal still looks adorable, yet strong. Its eyes are big and brown, kind of like mine.
"You'll ride with me then," he says, walking over to an already saddled horse. "This one here is mine. His name is Maximus."
"A strong horse for a strong man," I say softly as I approach the giant, white steed. The moment the words tumble out of my mouth, I immediately blush and interject myself. "I mean! Not like that… You're strong but-"
"Thank you," Erwin lets out a small chuckle, only making my cheeks flush a deeper crimson. I am so bad when it comes to talking to men. "I have had Maximus for many years, and he hasn't let me down yet."
"He's massive," I breathe softly. Hell, I don't even know how Erwin manages to climb up on this thing.
"They have been specially bred to allow us to outrun Titans while outside the Walls," he explains, rubbing Maximus' neck. "They're strong fighters, like us."
"So…" I look into the horse's coal colored eyes. "How am I supposed to get on this thing without refracturing my ribs?"
"Do you trust me?" He asks, staring straight into my eyes. His are an icy blue, and I'm jealous.
"Do you trust me?" I fire back, earning an eyebrow lift from him. Oh my God, his eyebrows are huge.
He doesn't answer me with words. Instead, a small shriek slips from my lips as the commander grabs me by the waist, lifting me delicately, with ease, onto Maximus. His hands are huge compared to my small body. Whenever I'm safely on top of the horse, nervous as hell, he puts one foot on the stirrup and kicks his other leg across the opposite side of the horse. Once behind me, Erwin places his arm on either side of me, making my cheeks turn as scarlet as ever. I don't even see him in that kind of way, but the fact that a strong, handsome man puts his arms around me to reach for the reins make me feel some type of flustered way. With one motion of the reins, the horse whinnies and takes off towards the forest.
We ride at a steady pace towards the squad. The day is hot, but the delicate trotting of the horse as we ride against the wind provided a nice breeze. Although I feel refreshed, the heat from my cheeks doesn't disappear. I must be some virgin or something because any contact with men so far has been very awkward. Still, I shake the thought away considering Erwin is literally right behind me.
When we reach the forest, I see many of the soldiers with some sort of metal device on their waists. There looks to be a location for blades to be stored as well, making the equipment look intimidating. Several members of the squad look over at Erwin and me as we ride past them. Lauren is one of them, and when she notices the two of us, she presses her hands against her cheek, and I swear I can see the hearts in her eyes. Meanwhile, Derrick notices this and flicks her forehead, causing her to pout and me to giggle.
"What's so funny?" Erwin asks from behind, making me jump a little bit. He's too damn close.
"Er, nothing, sir," I mumble, hiding my face from him.
My eyes scan the crowd until they fall upon a certain short and crude soldier. Levi leads the group, also on horseback, to the location where they would be training. He must've felt my eyes burning through the back of his head because he turns around, quickly meeting my gaze. His eyes venture from me to the commander, eyes trailing to the arms around me all the way to my blushing cheeks. He simply rolls his eyes, muttering something from under his breath. I assume it's something along the lines of 'idiot' or 'little school girl'. Still, I wonder if it's my imagination that saw something twinkle in his bluish grey eyes.
Erwin ends up halting us whenever we reach the destination. To my relief, he unmounts Maximus, holding on to his frontal reins as he slowly leads me to an area where I can get a good eye of the training. Being at this height gives me an advantage as well, since I'm a pipsqueak.
It only takes a few moments for the squad to start the show, and whenever the training begins, I'm astounded by the sight in front of me. I watch as they soar through the sky, aiming and firing the grapple hooks on their gear at the trees. They all seem to activate some sort of gas mechanism to reel towards where the hooks land, but I hardly pay attention to the mechanics as I watch all of their flawless movements. Sure, some of them seem to be a little unblemished compared to others, but their actions are far cleaner than I would imagine myself doing.
"It's like they're all flying," I whisper to no one in particular, watching the scenes unfold in front of me.
"Our symbol is called the Wings of Freedom for a reason," Erwin says proudly. All I can do is nod in agreement at his words, watching intently as soldiers begin hitting their targets.
The Wings of Freedom… I'll be a part of this fight for freedom, too.