(Episode 4) Chapter 4: A Wild Minotaur Appeared!
Percy's mom drives through the rain in Gabe's Camaro, blazing through the woods; meanwhile the theme from Fast & Furious 6 plays
"One shot, everything rides on tonight; even if I've got three strikes, I'mma go for it; this moment, we own it"
Percy: [staring at Grover's hairy legs and thinking] Maybe this is all fake and he's just wearing some hairy pants or something...no that dick is definitely real...and it smells like...wet animal…I need better friends [aloud] so uh...what are you?
Grover: It doesn't matter
Percy: Doesn't matter?! My friend is half-assed...in both meanings of the term!
Grover: Blaa-ha-ha!
Percy: Come again?
Grover: I'm half GOAT!
Percy: Yeah well...you're still half-assed in the other definition. Now tell me what's going on
Grover: The less you know the better. We hoped you'd have thought the Kindly Ones were a hallucination...
Percy: I would have since I was LSDs then but you kept on reminding me
Grover: ...but you started to realize who you were
Percy: Damn this is trippy...more trippy than when I'm high
Sally made a turn into a road surrounded by a strawberry fields; there were signs with graffiti saying "Pick Your Own Strawberries HERPES"; suddenly, lightning strikes the car
Percy: [groans] Worst...vacation...ever…
Sally: Percy! You have to get up that hill!
Percy: No! I am not leaving Grover! Even if he is a half-assed half goat idiot who pisses me off half the time in this series!
Percy and Sally start carrying Grover up the hill
Sally: I swear I'm probably gonna get screwed over for helping you
[EPIC FORESHADOWING]
A Wild Minotaur appeared! [Kanto Wild Battle Theme plays]
He turns towards them and loudly moos; he prepares to charge
Sally: When he charges, wait towards the last second and jump aside
Minotaur used Megahorn!
The attack missed!
Percy: Alright that was awesome! Did you see that mom? Mom?
Percy turns around just in time to see to see Sally dissolve into dust
Percy: Noo! She was my meal ticket!
The Minotaur moves towards Grover, who's lying unconscious...unconscious; the Minotaur puts on his best rape face; he slowly strips down his underwear, approaching Grover's body…
Percy: [thinking] I need to get his attention...what's a good cow insult? [aloud] Hey!...uh Clitauros! Yeah! Over here Clitauros!
The Minotaur pulls his underwear back up and turns towards Percy; Percy run at the Minotaur in slow motion; epic music plays; Percy jumps onto the Minotaur's head [insert Mario jumping soundbite] and jumps off the Minotaur's head [insert Mario jumping soundbite] and then grabs onto the Minotaur's neck; one nanosecond later, the Minotaur slams into the tree at like 10 meters per second
Percy: Yeehaw!
Rodeo music plays; Percy rips the Minotaur's horn off but gets thrown off; he gets up, dazed; the Minotaur roars and charges.; Percy slowly rises, wielding the horn like a knife; as the Minotaur rushed at him, Percy rolled to one side and stabbed the Minotaur with the horn
Percy: FOR SPARTA!
Percy then drags Grover to the porch of the Big House and collapses; just before he passes out he sees a blonde and a man
Blonde: He's alive...prepare the latex gloves. We begin the prostate exam in ten minutes
Man: But Annabeth, why would he need a prostate ex-
Blonde: I said he needs a prostate exam!
The End
Annabeth giving Percy a prostate exam...that should satisfy any fans of Percabeth
Next chapter is more about Percabeth :D