Love Hina: Deserted

I hope you enjoy this FanFic. If you do, please comment, constructive criticism is also welcome. All writers have egos the size of the sun, so please help me out!

Oh, and Insert Disclaimer Here.

Chapter 4:

The calm before...

Shinobu slowly climbed up the roof, she was doing something not all that sensible in a very sensible manner. She carefully placed each foot down, and tested it with increasing pressure until she was sure she wouldn't slip when she put weight on it. Then she did so and moved on. She progressed slowly, until she reached the top, and then carefully walked along until she stood on the ledge, arms stretched out, feeling the snow land on her, and admiring the view of the entire area covered in snow, a light sprinkling which was almost untouched – unsurprising at six in the morning. She looked as far as she could, until the snow blurred everything beyond recognition, and then smiled softly. She was truly happy. Truthfully without everyone she had been bored and lacked energy – before she had wanted to impress Keitaro – but when he wasn't there she had less reason to try. Now everyone was coming back.. well, everyone that deserved to come, she told herself, and more importantly – she had a chance to make Keitaro hers. She had a Christmas party planned, and everyone would be there. It would be fun, and she was truly, truly happy.

Keitaro had come up to the roof at six in the morning, not really all to sure why. He'd simply woke up, seen it snowing and had to go and see it from a good vantage point. Wondering at how beautiful it was, he looked up and saw something far more beautiful. Shinobu was stood up at the top, she wore a simple skirt and t-shirt, her clothing all pale colours, and her hair blew around her head, flowing. Her cheeks were blushed in the cold, a stark contrast to the pale colours of her clothes, and the white snow all around her. Keitaro could see her eyes clearly, and how happy she looked. He simply stood in shock, soaking in the moment, she was stood with her arms out, legs together, balancing on the roof. Angelic. Keitaro could have stood there for a millisecond or for hours – he couldn't tell.

Then the moment was over, Shinobu looked down and saw him, she swayed a little, like a leaf hanging onto a tree in the wind.

Then fell.

Keitaro ran, with all speed he could muster, time slowed, he jumped, and he pushed into her body, and forced them both into the roof. Unfortunately, the roof was still icy, so they both slid down like stones, he pushed his legs out, propelling them off the roof and they landed, crashing into the bars there for the laundry.

Keitaro laid there for a moment, shocked. His back hurt a lot, but no major injuries he could tell of. He wiggled his limbs and sighed, relaxing. Then every muscle in his body went rigid, Shinobu! He looked around, and saw her, about a meter away, shaken, a few minor cuts, but nothing serious he could see, he got up and went over.

"Are you OK? Shinobu-chan!" he said, shaking her slightly, her eyes glazed over. Shinobu eventually seemed to waken, then fell into his chest, sobbing. Apologising around her tears. He held her head to his chest and stroked her hair, rocking her slightly, until she fell asleep, then carried her to her room.

Shinobu woke up later, at around midday – looking around her, she quickly got up and ran downstairs, her heart beating wildly – calming down only when she saw Keitaro drinking tea at the table. He looked up and smiled at her.

"Shinobu-chan! You woke up, I'll get you some tea." he said kindly, and walked off to do so. She sat down shakily and looked at her watch, it was 12:37

"Senpai! I've only got 4 more hours! It was going to take at least 8!" she said, shocked, and stood up with a jolt, knocking over her chair.

"Don't worry, Su told me you were planning to have a party, so we took the liberty of decorating as much as we could." he said, "we just haven't done this room or the hall yet."

"Kaolla-chan! You told him that..." Shinobu began, upset.

"No! Just about the party, not... that..." Su said from behind Keitaro, sticking her tongue out. Keitaro, after seeing Shinobu's reaction, decided not to enquire as to what 'that' was.

Shinobu looked around, and was happy to see a lot of the decorations ready. She had planned on doing grand things, but she could scale back a bit, they still had enough time. She happily started to decorate, thanking God that she only needed to start cooking at around two, so she would have food ready. She needed to hang some tinsel up over the door, but couldn't reach, she went and got a small ladder, then asked Keitaro to hold it still, knowing Su would be unable to stand still for longer than two seconds.

Keitaro walked over, and while holding the ladder still as Shinobu climbed up, couldn't help but look up - getting a glance of her underwear. He quickly looked back down, grabbing a tissue from his pocket to stem a nosebleed, thanking God that neither Shinobu nor Su seemed to notice.

Shinobu noticed him look up and blushed heavily, almost dropping the tinsel she was holding, but she composed herself, reminding herself that it was what she wanted, and then climbed down, thanking him, hoping she wouldn't notice her blush, then walked off to the kitchen to start cooking, halfway there she turned around to ask Su to do something, and was happy when she saw him still staring at her. At this she walked into the kitchen, beaming widely, glad that he was noticing her.

Keitaro excused himself to go to his room to get something, and then thought over how he was thinking of Shinobu. She was still a cute girl, but now instead of sister-cute, it was sexy-cute. Keitaro struggled to comprehend this, and then drifted back to the view he got before, and then to earlier, in the morning, when he had held her with her pressed against his body. Her breasts had increased in size, by quite a large amount. He shook his head, and tried to pull himself together, he grabbed a snowman he had laying around, and ran downstairs, placing it somewhere in a corner, then went to see if he could help Shinobu in the kitchen.

Shinobu put him to work cutting things up, mixing things – general tasks where he couldn't get it wrong – she didn't say it – or, he doubted, even think it, but it was something he noticed, and wondered at how much she had changed – not just physically – although he was reminded of it often enough in the very thin kitchen, as she pressed up against him to get by, or leant over him to show him how thin the cucumber had to be cut, but rather how much she had changed in character – she was still a lovely girl, but she could now control things well, she had very good organisational skills, and was generally excellent at getting things done. Keitaro had always respected her as a cook, and respected her as a kind person, but a new form of respect was forming – he saw her as an amazing woman.

Halfway through preparing the food, the doorbell rang, and Shinobu froze for an instant, then whipped off her apron, hanging it up, and asked him to come with her. Keitaro wondered why he was needed to see who it was, but put it down to Shinobu being scared of robbers or suchlike.

Shinobu opened the door, and Keitaro looked out casually, then started.

"M... Motoko-chan! Is that you!" he said, looking at her. Much like Su, Motoko looked more and more like her sister now, her hair slightly longer, dressed in her normal garb, smiling a little. Her hair blew sideways in the wind, and snow landed delicately on her.

"Keitaro-san, It's been a long time. Su-chan, Shinobu-chan." she said, stepping inside. Keitaro simply stepped back in shock.

"This is... that?" he asked Shinobu and Su, Shinobu nodded while Su happily responded with "Yup, Motoko-chan is the Surprise!" and proceeded to hang around her neck, which she seemed to mind very little.

Shinobu rushed back to the cooking, before something boiled over, and Motoko and Keitaro sat down to catch up, they did this at the table, Motoko stroking Yuki, so Shinobu could hear and chip in every now-and-then. Su 'helped' Shinobu.

They then sat down and started to eat, talking and generally being leisurely about it all.

"Well, I managed to get a break from the dojo, so I can stay here for as long as I want, as long as I stay in practise and study, to a reasonable extent." Motoko stated, hovering over her food, deciding what to eat next. "Only your cooking, Shinobu-chan..." she complimented, finally making her decision.

"Well, this isn't the actual party, I've managed to talk to Kitsune and Mutsumi, they will be coming soon, and then we will have the party proper." Shinobu stated.

After eating, they all headed out to the hot springs – Keitaro in his designated section, of course – and proceeded to talk in there. Keitaro mainly just listening to the other three talk. It was relaxing, and he almost fell asleep, until Su splashed him with water over the separating barrier. Keitaro splashed back, and eventually it turned into a small war – Keitaro fighting bravely despite being greatly outnumbered. Unfortunately Su ran into the barrier at full speed, trying to dodge a bucket-load of water Keitaro had thrown over, and knocked the barrier cleanly over. Motoko jumped for a towell, Shinobu sank deep into the water, and Su stood there. The girls all sweat dropped as they saw Keitaro. He had been forced back by the small tidal wave caused by the barrier falling, and was knocked out on the side, floating in the water with his eyes crossed. Shinobu ran over, and shook him to wake up, then, as he started to, realised she was still naked, and nearly suffocated him pushing a towel over his face.

Keitaro sat on the sofa, Shinobu apologising and blushing profusely.

"Don't worry, Shinou-chan. I'm still alive, that's what counts – I'll spend some time tomorrow fixing that barrier." Keitaro assured her, "Why don't we get to bed – it's been... eventful."

They all went off, thinking about what had happened and what would happen in the future.

Keitaro has seen Shinobu nude, although his vision was still very blurred at the time, so it was like looking through fogged glass – it was still not a view he would forget any-time soon. She really had grown up – he thought as he laid in bed, he shook the thoughts from his head and turned over to try and get to sleep, he had a lot to think about. Motoko looked so beautiful now... in fact, he realised, now that... now that he was no longer attached, he could pursue the girls if he wanted, couldn't he? No, it was too soon, too painful. Maybe later – and he doubted either Shinobu or Motoko had any interest in him in that way, anyway.

Shinobu at down on her bed and started to undress, and wondered how much Keitaro had seen – and how much he wanted him to have seen. She blushed at the thought, then looked at herself in the mirror. "Motoko is so much prettier than me..." she mused, then sighed. Maybe she should have kept him for herself she thought, then pushed that thought away, that would have been selfish – and Keitaro was so happy when he saw Motoko... Too happy? She sighed once again and laid down, slowly drifting to sleep.

Motoko thought about what had happened to Keitaro, and what that meant for her, should she try and get him? She had considered it before, and with Naru no longer there... She sighed. It was too soon, and she needed to see how she felt. She fell asleep quickly.

Done! This one is a bit longer, I like the way it turned out.

Vilcath:

Thanks for the detailed responce. Yes, the old story was shockingly bad, I wince as I read it now :P I tried to increase the length of this chapter, and I will probably continue to do so, this one amounts to around 2000 words, (minus all of this stuff) so it's pretty long. I'll probably have the other tenants trying to get Keitaro – but I won't make it a really huge part of the story. I want to keep it focused on Keitaro and Shinobu. For them to be dating other people, that means inventing characters – which I'm not a fan of doing – and I wouldn't anyway. The other characters will proably just remain as plot devices really, just build arcs around them, etc... As to what Naru did, I have an idea... We will see, no:P

ZhouMak:

Thanks for taking the time to give me feedback – I hope I can improve the story because of it. I've tried to make the chapters longer, as I have said in response to Vilcath. I hope that suits you better, although I might make the next ones even longer... As to the 'War For Keitaro' – it'll probably be more of a 'continuous-backstabbing while trying to win Keitaro over' kinda thing. Maybe... I am trying to make the development of the characters, and the way they interact a natural progression into something. At the moment, I want to show more of their charachter, and try to develop the plot a little, put everyone into a good position, before I start with the all out fighting :P

Jakinbandw:

I was just about to post this as I saw your comment! Thanks for the praise, I'm glad you like it! I'm not sure if I am adding enough of the 'zanny-ness' of Love Hina in, but at the same time, I feel I am taking a different path anyway, and I don't want to try to hard to write that stuff in and make it feel forced. The story kind of flows from me, and if you try too hard to write stuff in, it can feel unnatural. Great to know you are enjoying it!

Thank you to all readers. It's great to write this kind of stuff, and although it's nice to read my own writing, I know how great it is to read someone else's and I hope I'm giving back something, as I've taken out a lot in the past :P

Please consider reviewing if you have read and enjoyed this, we writers live for it :P