Tales from Waverly Place

A Wizards of Waverly Place Fanfiction

Chapter: Girl Troubles
Author: funvince
Genre: Family/Friendship
Summary: Justin goes to Alex for help with his new girlfriend. It's not the first time.
Spoilers: after third season episode Moving On but before Alex Saves Mason
Notes:I've noticed an interesting pattern with all of Justin's girlfriends.

"I knew it was only a matter of time before you came to me," Alex said, sounding bored as she filed her nails.

"What do you mean?" Justin asked, sounding confused. For such a smart boy, he could be a little slow on the uptake.

"Oh, come on. You must have noticed by now. Every time you get a girlfriend you end up coming to me for help," Alex replied.

"That's not true!"

"Really? Let's count. Remember the goth girl Miranda? How many first kisses did you have with her again?"

Justin's face turned red. He muttered, "It wasn't that many times."

Alex gave him a look.

"Eighteen."

Alex smiled triumphantly then she continued, "You weren't really dating centaur girl so she's doesn't count. Ooh! How about that wolf girl, Isabella? If it weren't for me, you'd probably be living in the park chasing frisbees."

"That was you sticking your nose into my business. Okay, things turned out a bit... hairier than I expected, but I could have handled that myself just fine."

Alex looked unconvinced. Harper, who had been sitting quietly next to the two of them, looked equally skeptical.

"You weren't even there!" Justin cried in response to Harper's expression.

"I'm sorry, Justin, but you're really not great in high pressure situations," Harper replied.

Alex laughed.

Justin snapped his fingers as something occurred to him. He asked, "How about Tutor? I definitely didn't ask you for any help with her!"

"Considering I was trying to win her for myself, that's hardly surprising!" Alex said, scoffing.

Harper looked freaked out. She said, "Is there something you're not telling me, Alex?"

"Anyway, I helped you sabotage Max so she wouldn't leave. My plan made that happen!" Alex said. An embarrassed look came over her face as she admitted, "For about a day. But it still counts!"

"Because I consider myself a very open-minded person and I hope you know that you can tell me anything, Alex-"

"Harper!"

Justin looked torn between being amused or angry. He clearly settled on angry when he jabbed a finger in Alex's face and said, "That wasn't helping me. That was helping yourself!"

"Which ended up helping you so stop splitting hairs!" Alex said, glaring at him.

"Didn't Alex help you break up with that Daphne girl?" Harper asked suddenly.

"Whose side are you on?" Justin cried.

"I'm on the side of peace?"

"Daphne was my stalker! She wasn't my girlfriend. But I can see how you would get confused by the difference, Harper."

"Hey, leave her out of this! Besides, you took Daphne out and kissed her, didn't you? And didn't you bring her home to meet mom and dad?"

Alex could see that she had Justin trapped. If he kept insisting that Daphne was never his girlfriend then he would look like a jerk. But if there was one thing Justin got out of his Alien Language League, it was the ability to debate.

"Even assuming for the moment that Daphne was my girlfriend, I never asked you to help me, Alex. Technically, I went to Harper for help. Her brain just happened to be in your body at the time. So there!"

"I guess you showed me!" Alex responded, rolling her eyes.

Harper was shaking her head as she said, "You guys have the strangest conversations. Why can't you ever talk about something normal? Hey! I've noticed something too. I don't think Justin has ever dated a normal girl."

Justin looked like he was thinking furiously. Then he said, "Kari! Kari was normal. She wasn't a goth or a monster or anything!"

Alex raised an eyebrow. Then she asked, "You mean the girl who only dated baseball players even though she knows nothing about baseball? The one who refuses to watch a movie unless it features cats in them?"

Justin opened his mouth again but Alex held up a hand to stop his next outburst. She said, "We've gotten off track. Back to my main point. Face it, Justin. Even though cute girls find you attractive for some inexplicable reason, you still need my help to keep them around. And if you didn't, why are you asking me for advice right now?"

Alex also wanted to point out that if it wasn't for her, their parents would never have allowed him to go out with Juliet, but then she thought better about it. It was probably too soon. She didn't want to hurt Justin. She was just killing time by riling him up for kicks.

Justin sighed heavily. Then he said, "Fine. I do need your help. With Sara. Who is definitely a normal girl."

Alex couldn't resist. She quipped, "Anyone who's willing to go out with you is definitely not normal."

"Hey!" Harper said, looking wounded. "I'm standing right here. And, might I add, I'm standing here wearing a lovely jacket made entirely out of green gummy bears. It really brings out my eyes, don't you think?"

"I rest my case," Alex said.

While Harper pouted, Justin continued speaking. He said, "I really like Sara, but I think she moves at a faster pace than I do."

"Yeah, I sensed that when she gave you her number after talking to you for about thirty seconds," Alex said. She clapped her hands then stood up. "So we have established that she moves fast and that she has bad taste and poor judgment. Well, that was easy. Who's up for some ice cream?"

"I haven't told you the problem yet!" Justin said through gritted teeth.

"Oh," Alex said. She sat back down and put on her thinking face. "Continue."

"Okay, I think Sara wants to start going steady. Alex, stop rolling your eyes. I don't care if nobody says 'going steady' any more! Anyway, I don't think I'm ready for that right now. What should I do?"

"And I thought you'd have an interesting problem. Silly me," Alex replied. "Just tell her the truth. Tell her that you're still not over your last relationship and that you're not ready for such a big step."

Justin looked at her with his jaw dropped. He asked, "That's it? No wacky scheme? No convoluted and confusing lies? Are you, Alex Russo, actually telling me to tell someone the truth?"

"I know! Sometimes I even surprise myself. But think about it, Justin. I could tell you to make up some outrageous story about why you can't be her boyfriend, but we both know you're going to tell her the truth anyway because of your guilt-induced ulcers and we're going to end up right back where we started."

"I guess you're right," Justin said with a sigh. "Blast my fragile gastrointestinal tract!"

"Besides, if you're not scaring her off with your major dorkiness by now then you probably have nothing to worry about. And if she does bail then she wasn't really worth it."

Justin smiled. He said, "You're right. Thanks, Alex."

"Yeah, you're pretty helpless without out me. And it's kinda nice being the mature one for once. Now come on. I want to try to con the ice cream man into believing that we're collecting ice cream sandwiches for orphans."

Alex laughed when she saw Justin sigh but follow after her anyway. She was reminded of something her former friend Stevie once said to Justin.

"You hate each other, but you do what she says anyway?"

It was a complicated relationship. And it worked for them. Because no matter how much they pretended that they could barely tolerate each other, they knew they were family. And family looked out for each other.