Davis The Daddy

Chapter 4:

Roger stood in front of the mirror in the hotel bedroom and ran a hand through his hair. He was wearing a logo t-shirt and jeans. He quickly slipped on his leather jacket and coated himself in the cologne that Mimi was so in love with 4 years ago. Roger was meeting Mimi at the Life Café today for lunch to talk some more about Sophie. Roger grabbed his wallet, phone, and hotel keys and shoved them in his pockets and walked out the door. Mimi was sitting in a booth, looking beautiful as always. Her hair was down, and she was wearing jeans and a flowery, silky tank top with a black vest. "Hey." Roger said sliding into the seat.

"Hi." She replied smiling.

"So um how was work?" He asked, since Mimi was on her lunch break. Mimi smiled a little bit, and Roger ran a head through his hair. "Nice job Davis, way to ask a stupid question, how about you talk about the weather next?!" A voice inside Roger's head yelled.

"Good, I usually don't leave for lunch b…."

"I'm sorry, ya know I still don't have a job so whenever's good for you is good for me." Roger said.

"I was gonna say but it's nice to get away. So still no job?"

"Yeah, I've gotten accepted a few places but the pay isn't good enough to support her…."

"I told you not to worry about it Rog, support yourself first I'm fine with Sophie." Mimi said.

"No, really I want a good, stable job with a steady income, I'm done only supporting myself."

"Rog really please just make sure you're good first. Don't worry about some amazingly high salary job okay?" She said with genuine care in her voice.

"Fine, if I don't find a good job soon I'll take one of the other ones, maybe two until I can make ends meet." Mimi nodded and smiled.

"Oh um you forgot this the other night." Mimi said pulling out the yellow envelope that held copies of the picture of Sophie and her birth certificate. "I copied a few other pictures and put them in for you."

"Thanks Meems." She nodded. The waiter came over and took their orders and brought over drinks. "So um have you like talked to her about meeting me, or do you want to wait longer or….?"

"No I think the sooner the better. I don't want to talk to her about it until like the night before or something because she'll change her mind 850 times." Roger laughed. "And I don't think she'll have a problem with it. I don't think she really understands like…"

"What an ass I was." Roger finished.

"No. I don't think she gets the importance of meeting you for the first time you know, like how big of a deal it is. If she was older she might not want to meet you but she's a little oblivious about the whole situation right now ya know?" Roger nodded.

"Did um I ruin your relationship with Mark and Collins?" Roger asked looking a little worried.

"No, I mean they don't like it but they like me and they love Sophie so I guess they're just gonna accept it."

"I really wanna apologize to them, do you think I should wait a little while?" Roger asked. "I completely get that they've been like fathers to her and in a way I kind of don't want to like take that away from them, or like go against what they want, ya know?"

"So go after this. Go to the loft and talk to them, you know ask them for their acceptance but Rog don't get discouraged if they don't give it to you okay?" Roger nodded.

"I think I'll do that."

"You know I think Mark loves you so much that he's ready to forgive you. But um Mark and I have an agreement. And I think that he really feels upset about you know being replaced. Um in my will it says that when I die Mark would get full custody of Sophie. He knows that with you back in the picture that that's going to change, and I don't think he likes it. I mean who would?"

"You would let me have custody of her?" Roger asked just totally shocked and amazed. Mimi nodded.

"Right after she was born I had you in my will to take her because I thought you were gonna come back soon but about 10 months in I guess I got a reality check and I talked to Mark about it and here we are. And a few months ago I was really sick, like hospital, really bad. We all thought I was going, and Joanne was talking to me about my will, I had obtained a lot more assets since I had last wrote it. She was talking to me about how my family would most likely fight for custody of Sophie and try to take it away from Mark since he's not related to her and that they would most likely win. She said that if Mark adopted Sophie officially my family or anybody else wouldn't have a prayer taking her away from him. But after undergoing the first few steps of it I magically got better and was more focused on getting back on my feet then about Mark adopting her and we haven't really done anything about it since. So I think he's just…."

"Jealous and upset. I totally get it."

"Yeah."

"Maybe if I talk to him about it. Ya know." Roger said. Mimi nodded and then changed the topic.

"I was thinking about you guys meeting on Saturday. There's this Halloween-ish carnival in New Jersey my mom used to take me to and I think she'll really like it."

"Okay. 3 days. Alright."

"Unless that's too soon we can pick another time."

"No, no it's fine."

"Um I was thinking you can come over to our place around 9 in the morning, we can hang out for a little while and then go."

"Alright, sounds good. Should I bring anything, like a gift for her or something?"

"No that's okay." Roger nodded.

"Anything else that I should know about her?"

"Your eyes."

"Hm?" Roger asked at the mention of the song he had written for Mimi so long ago.

"She loves that song." Mimi said. Roger nodded and Mimi saw a gleam in his eye that showed how happy he was that Sophie liked his song.

"Anything else?"

"I don't think so, you'll learn more when you meet her." He nodded again.

"Thanks for this Mimi, for being so nice and forgiving."

"I haven't totally forgiven you yet." Roger looked slightly taken aback.

"Uh right yeah." He finally said. "But really thanks."

"You're welcome Rog." The food came and for the next 15 minutes they talked. They talked some about Sophie, some about memories, some about what things had gone on during their time apart. Mimi was cracking up during one of Roger's stories about before his bartending job he worked at a "Cookie the Clown's Sweet Shop" which was enough to make Mimi laugh but about how he had to dress up as "Cookie the Clown" and stand by the street with signs about their latest items. Mimi's face was bright red as she laughed. Roger just smiled brightly and shook his head, taking a sip of his coke. "Well once Sophie wanted Scooby Doo at her birthday party, so Mark rented a costume to wear. But when he got to the shop the head was too big to carry so he had to wear the Scooby Doo head for 15 blocks!" Mimi exclaimed. Roger busted out laughing. "Wait but Rog I have a question." Mimi said starting to look a little bit more serious.

"Hm?" "You said that in rehab you stopped drinking alcohol and that you don't drink it anymore, so isn't it a little like I guess awkward having been a bartender while you were gone?"

"Well yeah you'd think it would be but a friend down there, Allen, told me that he was a bartender when he got sober and that it was kind of healing. So I tried it and he was right. Having the alcohol in front of me, in my hands, and waiting on the junkies, and the pretty girls in front of me and me being able to restrain myself from all of it. I realized how strong I was. So it was actually good for me."

"That actually kind of makes sense. But um, restraining yourself from pretty girls?" Mimi asked.

"Before I recovered I uh did some bad things down there." Mimi's eyes immediately widened in fear and horror. "Oh god no Mimi not that!" Roger immediately said, grabbing her hand gently. "No, no, no not that. Never oh god no." Mimi's tense body relaxed as Roger's thumb lightly ran over her hand.

"I just made some irresponsible decisions."

"You got a girl pr…"

"No. I um I guess in the hard, high, drunken times down there I was all over girls and they were all over me. And um, in 2 very irresponsible instances on both the girls and my part I gave them…"

"HIV." Roger's eye's flooded with tears but he was trying so hard to hold them back. "Oh Rog. It's not all your fault." Mimi said.

"But it's partly my fault that they're gonna die."

"Hey forget regret, right Rog?" Mimi asked, wiping a tear from his cheek.

"How can you forget killing someone?" Roger asked.

"They could easily still be alive Rog."

"But they could easily be dead. And if I knew who they were I would know if they were alive, I would pay for their AZT, I would apologize. But I have no idea who they were, it wasn't until the mornings after when they had already left that I realized what I had done, what we didn't use and that I never even knew their names. And I wish I could take it back."

"They might not even be infected Roger, the chances are slim but.."

"I guess." Mimi smiled.

"You finished?" Mimi asked gesturing to Roger's plate he nodded and Mimi started digging in her purse.

"No, no Meems I've got it." Roger said pulling out his wallet.

"No…"

"Mimi stop it I'm paying."

"No…"

"Mimi." Roger said firmly but smiling. She smiled back, sighed and slipped the cash back in her purse.

"Thanks." She said quietly. Roger nodded and payed the waiter and they both headed out of the restaurant.

"I'll walk you back to work."

"No it's fine."

"No because if I walk you there the loft is only a few blocks away from there so I can talk to Mark and Collins."

"Oh okay, but how do you know that's the preschool and daycare I work at?" Mimi asked.

"I dunno, I just figured I mean I've seen some yuppy kids in there so it must be a good preschool, and I figured you'd give her a good education, and it's right near where you live, and I saw you walk in there the other day." Roger admitted. Mimi giggled and began walking. Both of their feet crunched on the orange leaves, breaking the silence. Mimi coughed a few times and shivered a little. "Here." He said, slowly taking off his jacket.

"No I'm fine Rog." But he stopped walking and pulled her hand to stop her, and very gently and slowly wrapped the coat around Mimi's body from behind. Roger allowed his hands to run lightly over her shoulders, and they lingered there for a few moments , both of them wanting to just kiss each other and forget the past so badly. Mimi broke the tense silence by saying "Really Roger it's only October, it's not that cold."

"Yeah but you said you were really sick a few months ago, so that means you got really sick in the Spring, so…" He replied as Mimi smiled.

"You're really sweet." She said, getting totally lost in his eyes. Roger gave her a small smile and put his arm around her, rubbing her arm, he could feel her resisting shivering probably because she didn't want to worry him. They walked past a payphone and Roger had a thought.

"Hey do you mind if I make a call really quick?" He asked. She shrugged. "I just haven't talked to my Mom in like 3 and a half years. I didn't give her a number or address in Santa Fe. I would call from the hotel or my cell but then she'll never stop calling." He said smiling. Mimi giggled.

"Okay." She said.

"You go I'll catch up in like 30 seconds." Mimi smiled and nodded, and turned to keep walking, feeling the comfort of Roger's jacket around her shoulders, inhaling the cologne that was absorbed in its fabric. Roger slipped in a quarter and dialed his Mom's house number, which he strangely had remembered in case of an EXTREME emergency. Luckily he got his parents' voicemail. "Hey Mom, Dad, um it's Roger. And uh I know I haven't called and I know that you probably hate me because you know what I did to Mimi and then I stopped calling. But um I just wanted to let you know I'm fixing my mistakes, and I'm back in New York and I've been talking to Meems. She's gonna let me meet Sophie, my daughter. So um send a letter to the newest address I gave you, that's Mimi's place cause I'm staying at a hotel until I find a place. So um let me know how you're doing and if you wanna meet Sophie. Kay thanks love you guys bye." He said nervously. Roger looked ahead towards Mimi on the sidewalk and saw that low life, druggie, high as a kite guy with shaggy brown hair kept grabbing for her hand and was talking to her while she tried to pass him. "Hey!" Roger called. The guy and Mimi both looked to him. "Is there a problem here Meems?" He asked, standing next to her and glaring at the guy.

"No, no problem she's just ending her date with you to have some real fun with me." The creep slurred, reaching a hand to touch Mimi's waist.

"No, leave me alone." Mimi said moving away, Roger stepping in front of her.

"You heard her didn't you?" he asked.

"Yeah, but I must have heard her wrong because I don't take no for an answer." He slurred, quickly reaching an arm out towards Mimi's chest but Roger pushed the guy forcefully a good 6 feet away.

"Yeah, you do." He said putting a hand on Mimi's back and quickly leading her away. "Walk in front of me." Roger said firmly. Mimi did so.

"Why?" She asked right as Roger felt a heavy force on his back and a fist hit his cheek from behind, he quickly turned around and punched the guy straight in the face, watching him fall to the ground. Mimi stopped and watched totally surprised, while Roger glared at the guy.

"That's why." He said to Mimi and the two kept walking. Mimi's jaw was open and she looked back at the man on the ground as he slowly sat up holding his face while they walked.

"I love how you walk away like that was just no big deal." She said.

"Well it wasn't a big deal, I've always been pretty heroic." Roger said smiling with a fake smugness. Mimi laughed.

"Thanks."

"Um I hope you don't mind but I told my parents they could send a letter to your place. As soon as I find my own I'll give them mine but…"

"It's fine Rog, really." Roger smiled and nodded. They walked a few more blocks before stopping in front of the preschool and day care. "Thanks for lunch Rog." Mimi said hugging him. He put his arms around her and the two pulled away.

"Anytime, thanks for everything Meems." She smiled, and he gently grabbed her hand and pulled it to his face, and kissed the inside of her wrist, where one of her scars was. "I'm gonna make up for everything I've done and put you two through." He whispered. She nodded and kissed his cheek and pulled away slowly, their faces at one moment just inches apart. They both froze ,lost in each other's eyes before Mimi finally looked at the ground and gave Roger his jacket and a small wave.

"Bye." She said, quickly turning and heading inside. Roger kept walking but did so slowly so that he would have enough time to watch Mimi make her way into the building. Roger began walking the familiar route, back to the loft. He finally made it there and stood, looking up at the building. He glanced at the payphone and wondered that if maybe he called up to them they would throw him down the key. But as the door had been when he first came to visit Mimi, it was wide open to the public. Roger slowly climbed the stairs, thinking about what he could say that would possibly make his friends forgive him. He stopped in front of their door and stood there for a few moments. Finally he built of the courage and made a fist, and knocked on the door. He heard some movement inside before the doorknob turned at the door swung open. Mark was standing there, in a navy blue sweater and jeans, with his trademark scarf around his neck. Mark tried closing the door on Roger, pushing on it with all of his might but Roger pushed back and ultimately made it inside. Mark slammed the door shut and stared at Roger with his arms crossed.

"Can we talk? Please?" Roger asked sincerely. Mark was silent, and Collins walked out of his bedroom.

"You fucking son of a bitch why the hell are you here!?" Collins screamed.

"He wants to talk." Mark said bitterly.

"Yeah? Well I wanna fight!" Collins cried running for Roger but Mark caught him and pushed him back. "I want you to feel the same blows to the stomach that Mimi felt the day you left, I want to slap you in the face, and stab YOU in the back like you did to her! To all of us!"

"You wanna hit me!?" Roger cried. "Mark let him go and let him hit me." Mark looked at Roger like he had 3 heads but stepped out his friend's way and Collins got right in Roger's face. "Just nothing visible please, I know you don't like it and that makes me a little upset, but I'm meeting Sophie next week so I'd um rather not have a black and blue face." Collins nodded and jabbed Roger hard in the gut. He cringed and grunted and bent over with pain, and then gave Collins a thumbs up. Mark snorted.

"Can you do that again so I can film it?" He asked.

"Why not?" Roger said, wanting to do anything to make his old friends happy. Mark got his camera and while cracking up filmed Collins hit Roger again. Even Collins had to smile. They all chuckled and Mark shut off his camera and put it down. "Can we talk now?" Roger asked. Collins still looked pretty angry but nodded and the 3 sat down on the couch. "This place sure hasn't changed." Roger said looking around. "So um, how are you guys?" he asked.

"Good." They both said in unison. Roger nodded, feeling the tension.

"Are you good?" Mark said, with the very familiar, caring look on his face. The look he used to get when he asked Roger if he was okay when he coughed, and when he asked him if he had taken his AZT. Roger missed that look.

"I am. But I'd be better if you guys could forgive me."

"Roger, look. You were our best friend, we told each other everything, we did everything, and went through everything together. And then one day you just left. Totally uncalled for, you were writing a note for us on the counter surrounded by your bags. You didn't talk to us about how you were feeling, or the drugs, or anything. We would have been there for you. But you left and that hurt." Mark said.

"I know that I've been a horrible friend all these years..." Roger began

"No, you were an amazing friend, and that's why it hurt to have you give up and leave us." Mark interrupted.

"You guys don't even know how hard it was to leave. You don't know why I left."

"You left because you were a coward and you were afraid and you had too much pride to come out and say that." Collins said coldly.

"You're right. I was afraid. I was afraid of being a horrible father, and of Mimi knowing I did drugs, of Mimi going back to drugs because I was, of Mimi dying during childbirth, and of us spreading this disease. So I turned to the drugs even more, began depending on them and lost my job. Now tell me guys would you have rather me kept doing the drugs, being high when I was changing my daughter's diaper, you remember how violent I used to get when I was high. Did you want that guy around with a new baby? I sure as hell didn't and I tried to stop the drugs but I knew that everyday was a day closer to that baby, to me possibly ruining its life and I couldn't take it." Roger's eyes had tears brewing but not falling yet.

"We trusted you once before, and you let us down. Way down, so why should we trust you now if you're gonna let us down again?" Collins asked.

"I'm not going to! Please. I swear I'm a different guy. I swear I'm clean, I'm responsible, I'm, I'm everything that I wasn't when I left. Please forgive me."

"Roger, what happens between you and Sophie is all up to Mimi, we have nothing to do with it so why are you here?" Mark asked.

"Because I don't want you guys to end your friendships with Mimi or your relationships with Sophie just because you hate me. And my main priority coming back of course was Sophie, but if you think that Mimi's just gonna fall into my arms and the 3 of us are going to be one big happy family you're wrong because how can a guy be happy without is two best friends?"

"What about Mimi?" Collins asked. "What about what happened to her, you've seen those cuts on her wrists haven't you?"

"Yeah. And since I saw them I think about them every night. Isn't knowing that I'm an asshole, and abandoning my daughter, and forcing Mimi to hurt herself enough punishment?" Collins and Mark didn't say anything, they knew in their hearts that the last thing Roger ever wanted to do on this planet was hurt Mimi, they knew it probably was enough punishment. "You guys are my brothers. I never gave up with you guys until those last 2 months or so. You never let me give up, you taught me not to. Mark, in kindergarten I kept trying to build that block tower with every block in the bin but those fucking blocks were uneven and my tower kept falling, but you made me keep trying and on the last day of school who build the highest block tower in Scarsdale Elementary history? Collins, remember when we met, in my freshman year of college at NYU and I was trying so hard but I kept flunking all of my classes that didn't have anything to do with music? Yeah, well remember how you tutored me and that article I wrote in my commentary class was in the university paper and I passed the class!? Do you guys remember when we all bunked together and we were walking home from the bar that night at somebody was mugging that guy? And I fought that mugger for 45 minutes before he finally went unconscious!? Yeah I wouldn't have done that if you guys weren't cheering "Davis! Davis" the whole time! And remember when I couldn't get gigs but you guys made me go to auditions? Remember when April died and my withdrawal? You guys never let me give up. And I'm not gonna give up on earning back your forgiveness." Roger said with tears coming down his cheeks. Mark was looking a little teary eyed, and so was Collins.

"Rog, we don't know whether to hate you for everything you've done right now or to love you and hug you again and be the 4 musketeers minus Benny we were ever since he got married!" Mark exclaimed.

"Look I know that I've proved myself to be the world's biggest dumbass, and that my input probably isn't valuable to you right now but I like the second choice." Roger said through tears, standing up. Collins and Mark looked at each other for a few minutes, and then at the floor and then they both looked up and said in unison.

"Me too." The 3 "brothers" threw their arms around each other tightly hugging , all of them crying, knowing that all 3 of them had been waiting for this moment for the past 4 years.