Ok guys well so far I've had a lot of fun writing this so I plan on keeping it up for as long as possible. The reviews are good, speaking of which lets get to those.
First review I received.
From Idaina-o shimo kitsune-sama: First off great chapter it was definitely worth the wait and I love the direction that the story is going and I hope you have much more in store for it the only thing that I don't really like is how much of the word count was A/N and Q/A which I can understand why you do it.
Me: first off, really complicated and thought out out name. Second, I can see where you're coming from in the word count. I want to make really long chapters but I can only type so fast, and there are only so many hours in the day. I want to get one chapter out every few days at least so I have to keep the words in the story balanced with reviews and my reply to reviews. I do have more in store for the story so keep posted and we'll see how far I can take this. Thank you for your review and I hope to hear more of them in future chapters.
From Dr. Ryu:
Me: Ok I definitely see where you are coming from. I agree with you wholeheartedly. The moment Kishimoto started fanboying out on Sasuke's arc it killed a lot of my love for Shippuden, what finished it off was the reverse harem technique that didn't even work. But, I needed a way for Hagoromo to come up with the middle ground solution to the asura and Indra feud. But I couldn't do that WITHOUT showing Fem Nagato attempting the Shinra tensei. Creation of all things was the perfect way for Hagoromo to come to this new conclusion that he had god knows how many years to come to. And that bit with the implied relationship, I can totally see where you're coming from. That wasn't even supposed to be taken seriously, that was more or less me trying to do two things, give a whole new and somewhat valid reason for fem Nagato to snap, and relieve a bit of the serious tension I had written. I admit I could have skipped out entirely on the last half of that particular scene but I thought it would have been a good idea at the time.
Onto the bit about Minato and Kushina, I could have sworn I wrote relatively the same. While they did give us quite a bit of info on the two of them I can't help but feel that if Kushina had two kids instead of just one she wouldn't want for them to experience battle like she did. I feel that the only reason Kushina would support Naruto becoming a shinobi would be for his own protection if she wasn't there to do it for him. So what if she had lived and the nine tails had still been sealed in her? Would Naruto have still become a Shinobi or would Kushina forbid it to protect him?
Another note would be Jinchuriki status. It was said that a host becomes a weapon for the village. Would Kushina really want that for her son? On my own speculation Kushina was never made a weapon simply because no one knew she was a container at the time. So the council couldn't make a fuss because they themselves didn't know. I think I've explained enough for now. And your review was trimmed down because it was too long and it isn't letting me view full content so I responded to what I saw. Thank you for your review and if you have ways for me to improve your experience please let me know.
From wolfcoyote: good chapter...I must ask you if you took a page outta Onimehi's cooking in bleach for Kanna also was wondering if this was gonna be one of those neglect fics where Naruto gets overlooked for training,ans as for pairings I would suggest either Ino,or one that's never been done...the fire Diamyo's daughter
Me: heh, the mystery pairing seems to be a hot topic for this story. Guess I shouldn't be very surprised thought, everyone loves Naruto getting what he deserves. Or she if you feel that way. But I will admit the fire daimyo's daughter would certainly be a twist. Now I'm kinda hoping the story goes down that path but like I have mentioned before. The mystery pairing will be decided by where the story goes. I note down my thoughts on the story on a separate document and edit ideas onto these, if my mind wanders to down that path then all the better for us. As for Kanna's personality I can't really say it was based off of another fanfic, I actually live with a sister with Kanna's personality so I based Kanna off of her as will be explained below reviews. Thanks for the review and I hope I can continue to give you a good reading experience.
From :
Me:
End reviews
Onto a bit of explanation. I know more than a few of you are probably thinking 'why the hell is this fruit loop bashing Kanna?' I'll answer it. I'm not, not purposefully anyway. I'm trying to blend a bit of my home life into the story to give it a more 'real' feel, I take online school but my sister goes to public. She has really good grades, which I'm proud of by the way, but our mom is a bit hard on her at times. She takes after her dad and my stepdad and thinks that after school she can completely relax and leave responsibility outside in the cold. So being the soft hearted big brother that I am I try to soften the blows that mom dishes out and try channeling my sister's anger out on me instead of on mom because she is being overworked with trying to make sure me and my sister get schooling while taking care of our grandmother. Very complicated and very tiring. So Kushina channeled my mom during the scolding, Kanna channeled my sister, and Naruto channeled me. There will be more moments where their personalities seem to stretch into foreign territory but I'll try to limit it as much as possible.
For those of you who have probably figured it out, yes, this is a neglect fic. But I wanted to start it out differently than your average everyday Naruto neglect fic. I want to show how Naruto's and Kanna's lives change as the story progresses. I want to show the conflicts of interest as questions are asked and answers are given to both sides. To see how and why choices are made.
I do not want to talk about neglect in the past tense, that has always rubbed me the wrong way. To me it feels a bit like we as writers are avoiding the problem. Now that isn't to say there won't be action outside of Konoha's walls for those of you thinking it. But Naruto won't be stepping a foot outside of Konoha before I get a lot more in depth about his family situation.
Some readers will feel like bashing Minato is wrong. But I have a scenario for you. Imagine yourself in Naruto's shoes. A nine tailed fox sealed in your body by your own father? You think on this for a bit. How are you supposed to feel? Well you get thinking about two things, being a father, and being the Hokage. Now being the Hokage means your duty is to your people. Now, you are at crossroads. The question you have to ask yourself is, is my own child the one I helped bring into this world worth more to me or less than my responsibility as Hokage?
To me there would be no contest, I would choose my child over a bunch of buildings. That is what evacuation protocol is for. A village is the people, if those people are to stubborn to leave then leave them to their fate. Save as many as you can, then come back and rebuild when the heat dies down.
With this being said let me start writing and you start reading.
Enjoy
When the world finally stopped melding into a large blur he was somewhere else. The smell of meat cooking reached his nose just as the sound of sizzling met his ears. Next thing he knew, Naruto was looking at a packed restaurant with open grills as tables. Still being carried by the dog masked Anbu Naruto looked around still a bit dazed at all that had transpired.
Catching a blur of red out of his peripheral vision Naruto didn't have time to react before he felt himself yanked off of the man's back and into a soft warm chest. "Oh my god Sochi are you hurt!? Where were you, you had us worried sick! Never leave us like that again or I'll take away that book of yours do you hear me Mr.?" Blinking stupidly Naruto felt himself released from the hug and placed on the ground in front of his mother who had a firm yet tender grip on his arms. Unable to shake the daze Kushina began to take notice of Naruto's odd blank expression before she slipped into old habits. She closely examined his expression again and made mental notes.
'dilated pupils with little exposure to light, blank expression, seemingly lost in thought, nonresponsive, and signs of…. Chakra exposure!' she thought in alarm.
"Genjutsu!" She gaped in disbelief. Holding up a fist with her middle and index finger extended she applied a light amount of pressure to Naruto's chest with the opposite hand and whispered "kai" Harshly. The effects were instant. The glazed look in Naruto's eyes vanished being replaced by recognition.
"K-kaasan" He asked in confusion. "Where am I? How'd I get here?" Feeling his mother grip on his arms he looked at his mother who was kneeling down to his height. "Kaasan?"
Seeing his honest confusion she felt a swell of motherly fury burn in her chest. 'someone put my baby under an illusion. When I get my hands on them I'll tear them apart!' feeling the rising killing intent of his mother Naruto began to shake in fright. The aura she radiated resonated with something buried deep within every human. The need to live. The aura itself felt like it was trying to suffocate him causing his chest to rise in fall in a lackluster attempt to draw in some much needed oxygen.
Apparently Kushina had felt his shaking because when she focused in on him the aura of death vanished. Bringing her son into a loving hug she felt him hug her in return while still shaking.
Over at the side was Minato talking with the white masked man that had brought Naruto to them. "What happened Inu? One minute Naruto is walking with us and the next he's gone. Now I hear he was put under a Genjutsu? I want to know who put him under, and I want to know why, now tell me Kakashi. What was he doing when you found him?" His tone cold and harsh as ice with the eyes to match.
Inu was kneeled at Minato's feet with his right arm resting on his knee. "Hokage-sama, Naruto was found on the main road leading outside of the village. I found him just standing there looking like he was in a trance. I stood in front of him for a whole minute waiting for him to acknowledge me. It was like he was looking through me to something behind me. I suggest we question him, see if he knows anything about the person who cast the genjutsu."
Minato nodded with a scowl. Whoever had cast the genjutsu had done so in the middle of a ninja village in broad daylight. The fact a chakra spike wasn't felt from the patrolling Anbu forces was unsettling. Let alone the fact the assailant got was close enough to the hokage's son to cast said genjutsu and you have a reason to be worried. "I'll talk to him myself. Send a message to the gate guards, no one gets in or out of the village until the person responsible is caught. then report back to me to verify anything Naruto says. you were there, you may have seen him." Inu stood with a bow to his leader.
"Hai, Hokage-sama"
Next thing those witnessing the spectacle knew was Inu disappearing in a poof of smoke. Sighing to himself he allowed a frown to etch its way to his lips before looking to the focal point of this whole scene.
Naruto
Walking to the mother and son with Kanna now allowing herself to be engulfed in their mother's embrace he mentally prepared himself for the inevitable backlash he would get for his next actions.
Naruto being the first to notice his father's approach began to pull away from Kushina to get to Minato. Minato saw the expectant look his son was sending him and the gesture for a hug but he steeled himself against the action. "Naruto, i need to ask you if you noticed anything strange before you were brought here by Inu. Did you perhaps bump into someone, look into someone's eyes, maybe heard something you don't normally hear in Konoha?"
Feeling a bit hurt that his father wasn't going to give him a hug Naruto looked down at his sandal covered feet to escape the cold gaze his father was leveling at him. This was a part of his father he hasn't seen before and he wasn't exactly sure if he wanted to continue seeing it. "W-well no, I was just walking forward drawing in my book when something strange happened." Narrowing his eyes Minato urged him to continue.
"Strange?"
"Yeah, I-I couldn't hear everyone like normal. That was what made me look up. I didn't see him at first but then this weird guy came out of nowhere and walked into me. Then he starts saying this really weird stuff about how I should look around me and maybe I would see something that others can't. Then he started talking about something, I can't remember everything but I do remember him saying something even weirder." he looked unsure, hesitant, scared. Any of these words could be used to describe the confusion.
"Go on, maybe I can help figure it out." He really didn't care, but anything this person said could be used to identify him in the future so Minato would take what he could get.
"He said something like, uh, t-two become, um, one, I think. D-does that make sense tou-san?" He hoped it did. He really wasn't lying when he said he couldn't remember everything the man had said. It was just really confusing.
Minato narrowed his eyes in thought before looking to Kushina and Kanna who was watching all of this transpire with their own amount of worry. Kushina had her own thoughts on the subject but wouldn't publicly announce it.
Turning back to his son he gazed into his son's eyes watching how the emotions projected themselves. Confusion and a bit of fear. "Naruto, I need you to tell me what he looked like. Can you do that for me?"
Naruto frowned in thought "H-he wore a hood. I didn't see his face. But he had a staff." Minato frowned, that wasn't much to go on. But if that was all then it would need to be verified by Inu when he returned.
Sighing he looked to his shaken son and placed a hand on the boy's shoulder and gave a comforting squeeze. "alright, I'll have to verify that with Inu when he gets back but for now let's get back to our plans for the day." Giving his son a warm smile in contrast to his previously cold disposition he turned with Naruto in tow and walked to the other two members of his family.
*Break*
Naruto and Kanna both sighed with a mix of boredom and frustration. Kanna being the most vocal of the two was the one to voice her boredom. "Tousan~" she whined, "why are we doing this stuff now. I thought we were supposed to do this earlier?" She finished off her complaint with a pout only a child could give.
Minato sighed at his daughter's antics, kami knew he loved her, but sometimes her antics were really irritating. "Because of Naruto's earlier disappearing act…" here Naruto hung his head in shame. "We had to postpone stopping earlier. So we need to do it now if we want to make it home in time for the party after stopping at the clan estates." Naruto had disappeared for a grand two hours. An insulting time for the village's shinobi forces. But the blame couldn't entirely be placed on the village defenders. Whoever it was that had placed the genjutsu over Naruto knew what he was doing.
Inu's earlier claim was proof of this.
*Flashback*
Minato stood in the now unoccupied public restroom with Inu kneeling at his feet. "Inu, earlier my son said that a man with a hood had bumped into him and given him a few choice words. You didn't report a man with this description when you dropped Naruto off, explain." Hearing the dangerous tone in the Hokage's voice Inu bowed just an inch lower to show his obedience.
"Hokage-sama, I did not see a man matching that description with Naruto when I discovered him." Hearing the claim Minato eyes narrowed dangerously.
"Then this puts me in a dangerous position Inu. While I will not immediately write you off as a traitor I need evidence from you that would support your claim." The no nonsense tone was clear and the hidden warning was obvious. 'tread carefully Inu'
Inu's posture visibly stiffened while the man's mind worked to find a solution to the dilemma they found themselves in. He mentally went over all the evidence that they had gathered from the moment Naruto came out of the genjutsu.
'wait…..genjutsu.' Comforted by the thought Inu's stiff posture relaxed slightly.
"Hokage-sama, the genjutsu Naruto was put under. Do you know of the genjutsus' effect on his mind?"
Intrigued by the question and running a few possible scenarios in his head Minato gave Inu the desired information. "Unfortunately no Inu, my wife dispelled it in her haste to bring Naruto out of it."
Nodding at the response Inu gave his input. "I believe that the genjutsu used on Naruto was the targets way of communicating with Naruto without being detected by possible observers. I wouldn't know how or when the genjutsu was cast but it is likely that it was cast using the sound of the crowd in the market district when you were last with him. Genjutsu that hamper a subjects sense of direction is commonly used in hunter nin squad tactics. A similar technique could have been used here to separate you from him. The technique itself requires so little chakra to perform that even Kushina-sama's famous chakra detection skills wouldn't have picked up on the subtle manipulation." Finishing his theory Inu went quiet while Minato stood thinking on all that he had heard.
"Hmmm, that would explain both how Naruto lost track of us and how no one was able to detect them. He would have already fled the scene the moment the genjutsu was cast if it was prepared beforehand. If that is the case then there wouldn't be any hope that this target would still be in the village. They would have realized their cover was compromised and fled immediately after the act, and considering there has been no signs of a fire in any of the common hotels this Hunter could have left a trail for us to follow. Have Anbu squads twelve, thirteen, and fifteen discreetly search the hotel rooms of all hotels within three blocks of the market district and the gate. We don't need to send the civilians into a panic when no visible harm has been done."
Inu nods in understanding before standing to attention. With a bow he leaves in another poof of smoke leaving Minato to himself. Sighing in frustration Minato looks into the closest mirror gazing into his reflection. "Maybe Hiruzen had the right idea giving his soul to the Shinigami. I can't believe I'm going to say this but, I'm getting too old for this shit."
Washing up Minato was just about to leave the washroom before an odd chill shot down his spine. Immediately he pulled out two tri-pronged kunai and held them up to his face in a reverse grip while turning to face the middle of the room.
Only to see no one there. Glancing around the room Minato searched for the source of that odd chill. Searching every shadow with a scrutinizing glance, looking for even the smallest distortion in the air for any sign of a threat. But when he looked into the mirror he was inspecting himself in earlier his heart nearly froze at the sight that greeted him. A dry mirthless, evil chuckle echoed through the small room. One he knew was very familiar.
"Hehehe, oh yondaime. How the mighty have fallen."
There gazing through the lone eye hole on an oddly designed mask was the red eye of Madara Uchiha. "Make your choice yondaime. Your children, or your village, tic tok, tic tok.
Minato blinked once and the image was gone being replaced by his own reflection still standing there with his kunai ready to gut a would be attacker. Looking around the room again he found nothing out of place. Taking a breath to calm his nerves he was spooked again by a knock at the bathroom door.
"Minato-kun, the kids are done eating and ready to leave hurry up. Taking one last glance after calming down he replaced the kunai before walking out to meet his anxious wife. His mind replaying what his hallucinate had said over and over again.
"Minato-kun are you alright? You look like you saw a ghost." Kushina whispered to her husband with worry evident in her tone.
Smiling down at Kushina he reassured her. "Yeah Kushi-chan, I'm fine. My nerves are acting up a bit that's all." he could almost hear that maniacal laugh from six years ago to greet his response.
*Flashback end*
End
A lot of you guys are probably a bit miffed about me writing such short chapters and honestly I don't blame you. But I can't seem to write them freakishly long. I want to, god knows I do. But it just doesn't feel right for some reason. I'll be sure to do it more when certain events start unraveling but it just doesn't seem to work right now. So bear with me.
In case any of you were wondering. Yes, the scene with the sage was an extremely edited and revised version of Ansem first meeting Sora in kingdom hearts 1 at the very beginning of the game. That scene did at least inspire my scene with Hagoromo meeting Naruto for the first time.
Now the flashback was something that hit me while I was writing the story. A bit of an info dump but I think the appearance of the Uchiha more than made up for it. It really wasn't planned. Heck this story is already more detailed than most of my other stories that I've written so it could take a little while to get to the good parts. But I assure you that your continued patience will be rewarded.
The mystery pairing seems to be a hot topic for my readers. I refuse to announce the identity simply because it will keep a lot of you guys interested simply to uncover the mystery of who she is. But if the name is ever brought up in a review I will say that someone got it right. But that notice will only be posted a week or two after I received the review.
And remember, all I want for Christmas is, a good review.
Will accept constructive criticism but flames will be completely ignored and forgotten.
Chow my good people!