Warning: WHOOHOOO! Final part! MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE/CHRISTMAS (depending on when you read this)! Yesssss, let the reader beware. I've thrown in some candy canes and spice to this chapter... but I'm hoping that Yuki and I satisfy everyone with this chapter. Eitherway... I hope you enjoy it! We enjoyed RPing it! Maybe we should translate more of our RPS in to fanfics? This one seemed pretty well received!
Part Four: Death By Mistletoe
Dib stared as Gaz walked in to the room, looking cold and particularly crabby. She ignored Dib and shook off gobs of snow, then tossed her coat and boots on the heater. Dib stared in disbelief as Zim peeked out from behind the couch, both watching while Gaz acted as if the two boys didn't exist and sat down on the couch. She grabbed her Game Slave from its position on the table and started playing it.
Seconds ticked by until, suddenly, the "game over" music blared. However, instead of vowing ultimate revenge on the enemies or whoever it was that distracted her, she simply replayed without a word. The "game over" music played once more, but Gaz continued to quietly replay.
"... Gaz...?" Dib inquired as he walked over to his sister, feeling rather concerned. Zim continued to peek out, unsure of what to do. Gaz ignored Dib as she pushed random buttons on her Game Slave, not really caring about anything. The snow made her numb in more ways than one.
Zim glanced at the two humans, then sighed miserably. He massaged his leg, pleased to note that it wasn't quite so painful anymore and that the bandages were helping. He smiled, slightly, then grunted.
"I hope GIR is allright by himself...,"
He truly did care about GIR, though he refused to admit it openly. Invaders weren't supposed to care about their servants. But that didn't stop Zim from secretly caring and worrying about GIR. GIR was something Zim couldn't afford to not worry about.
Unbeknownst to Zim, GIR wandered down the street, making snow angels.
Dib sighed and sat down next to Gaz, unsure of what else he could do. Zim curled up and leaned against the couch, thankful that Dib was no longer interested in Irken society. Gaz ignored everyone, viciously pounding away at her gaming system.
Silence continued until Zim rested his chin against his knees and sighed.
"... poor GIR," he grunted.
BAM... BAM... BAM... Moo?
"What the-!?" Dib jumped. He turned to stare at the door, oddly. Zim paused, then turned to stare at the door as well.
"... it can't be,"
Dib walked toward the door, warily.
"... Who could be out in a blizzard like this..?" he muttered as he opened the door.
GIR grinned up at Dib, wagging his tail, as he stood in his green dog outfit while holding a tray of Christmas brownies. Thrown over the green dog outfit was a red kinky elf girl outfit with the chest bursting out due to two frozen water balloons.
"HI!" GIR cried, shoving a brownie in Dib's mouth before striding in to the house. Dib boggled at the sight of the SIR unit, then glanced at Zim with an accusing glare. Zim ignored Dib, far too stunned at the sight of GIR to bother with the human.
"... GIR?" he stared. GIR noticed Zim, then giggled and walked towards him while extending the tray of brownies.
"I made them for you and you weren't home and they were getting cold and so I thought I should find you and HERE HAVE A BROWNIE!" GIR shrieked, shoving a brownie in Zim's gaping mouth. GIR then turned about, not giving Zim a chance to respond, and looked at the television. "WHEEE! It's time for 'How The Scary Monkey Ate Christmas'!" he squealed. With a delighted cry, GIR sat down in front of the television and flipped to the appropriate channel.
Dib and Zim stared at GIR, blinking once and then twice but still unable to comprehend what just happened. Sighing, the two boys proceeded to chew on their brownies and accepted the fact that GIR wasn't something anyone could comprehend.
Gaz still hadn't acknowledged the existence of anyone, or get past the first level of her game.
GIR watched the television, then burst out crying when the Scary Monkey got indigestion from a Christmas tree.
"NOOOO!" GIR sobbed. Zim eyed the SIR oddly. Dib blinked at GIR, then looked at Zim.
"I've always wondered. Is that robot of yours defective or does he just have some wires crossed?" Dib asked.
"... He's ADVANCED!" Zim retorted, defensively. GIR glanced at Zim, then burst out cackling and proceeded to beat his head against the floor.
"WHEEE HEEE HEEE!"
"... THAT'S advanced!?" Dib stared, incredulous.
"... I don't question my Tallest," Zim grunted. "I was honored to even be acknowledged, let alone get GIR!"
"...,"
"I LOVE YOU TOO!" GIR squealed, happily, as he lunged at Zim and hugged him tightly.
"ACK! LET GO!" Zim roared, squirming violently. He winced as the movement caused pain to lace up his leg. "LET GO OF ME RIGHT NOW!"
"Noooo! I still have hundreds of hugs left in me!" GIR replied.
"... NO!"
"HUG HUG HUG!"
"LET GO!"
"HUG HUG HUG HUUUUUUG!"
Dib simply stared at Zim and GIR, divided between laughter and shock. Gaz paused her game to look at the alien and his SIR, her expression unreadable. Zim attempted to rip GIR off of him, shrieking curses and threats while the tiny robot kept its grip around its master.
"I STILL HAVE LOTS LEFT IN ME!" GIR cried. Zim blinked and paused, then smirked evilly.
"The DIB human needs a hug! He's jealous!" Zim gasped. GIR blinked, then yelped in horror.
"GASP!" GIR 'gasped', then released Zim and lunged at Dib. "I'M GONNA HUG YOOOU!"
Dib yelped, then turned on his heel and bolted. However, he wasn't quick enough as GIR latched on to his waist and snuggled.
"YES! YESSS! HUG HIM!" Zim cackled. "GIVE HIM THE HUG OF... DOOOOOM!"
Gaz glanced at Zim from over her game. GIR paused and looked at Zim, then at the protesting Dib.
"... I'm going to sing the HUGGY DOOM SONG now!" GIR announced. "Doom doom doom HUG doom doom HUG HUG HUG doom doom hug doomie doomie doomie doom HUG!"
Dib hissed as he tried to pry GIR off, then glared murderously at the Irken.
"Why don't you give ZIM your hugs!? He seemed to like them before!" he growled.
"OH! But I have SO MANY HUGS TO GIVE! And you haven't gotten any at all!" GIR sighed, before tightening his grip. Zim continued his high pitched laughter, thoroughly enjoying Dib's unfortunate situation.
"AAAACK!" Dib flailed and struggled, casting Zim death glares as the Irken laughed at the human's expense. GIR purred and nuzzled Dib's stomach, completely unwilling to relent.
Gaz continued to watch Zim, her eyes never moving. The piercing gaze sent shivers up Zim's spine, causing him to glance at Gaz and blink. The two stared at each other while GIR continued his hugs of doom.
"... You look better without your disguise," Gaz muttered, then returned to her Game Slave. Zim stared at Gaz as a distinct blush crept on to his green cheeks. However, Zim's attention was soon diverted away from Gaz and her words.
"I KNOW! I'LL HUG YOU BOTH... TOGETHER!" GIR announced.
"... Well... atleast I won't suffer alone," Dib thought as he continued to flail. Zim tensed, then stared at GIR in horror. When it dawned on him that the tiny robot was perfectly serious, he attempted to run.
He didn't get far before he found himself crushed against Dib in a tight robotic death grip.
"... So nice of you to join us," Dib drawled.
"... bah!"
The corner of Gaz's mouth twitched slightly as she suppressed the urge to laugh. GIR nuzzled his head against Zim and Dib, hugging them tightly and giggling with the utmost joy.
" ... UGH! My squeedily spooch!"
"AAAAAHAAAHAAHAAAOOOOOO! MY SPLEEN!"
GIR continued to nuzzle, oblivious to the extreme pain that his merciless hugging was causing.
"... Wonderful... getting crushed against a human during CHRIS-MAS BREAK," Zim groaned.
"This isn't exactly my idea of fun either, ZIM," Dib snarled.
"AWWW!!" GIR cried. "They're BONDING!"
"... WHAT?!" Zim stared.
"WE ARE NOT!" Dib protested.
"Yesss you are!" GIR assured them.
"LIES!" Zim roared.
"Wow. You two aren't trying to kill each other. Christmas is the season for miracles, after all,"
Dib and Zim turned to stare at Gaz in disbelief, who smirked at them.
"See?" GIR crowed, triumphantly.
"... WE'RE NOT BONDING!" Dib repeated.
"BOND BOND BOND!" GIR cackled. He paused, then squealed. "HUG!" he added, emphasizing his words as he hugged the two boys very tightly. Zim yelped as his entire body was crushed against Dib.
It was then that Dib noticed just how nice and warm Zim felt.
Dib paused for a few seconds, then flailed with a renewed vigor. Zim squirmed as well, unaware of the sensations his actions were causing. Dib blushed very darkly and made a high pitched noise before he flailed with such energy that he was starting to create a slight breeze. GIR blinked, then cackled and began to dance about as he held on.
"DIB'S MAKING MUSIC!" he cried. "I can sing too! LALALALALALALA!"
Zim growled and attempted to slip free but only managed in turning himself about and ended up face to face with Dib. Zim and Dib stared at each other, blankly, as both seemed to be at a loss.
"...,"
"...,"
It was then that GIR received his most brilliant idea ever.
"... MISTLETOE!" GIR squealed. As if on cue, a clump of mistletoe popped out of his head and dangled over Zim and Dib.
Dib stared at Zim, who looked utterly confused.
"... Don't you two make a lovely couple," Gaz chuckled, watching the three from her position on the couch.
"... Couple of what?" Zim asked, weakly. GIR cackled and dropped Zim and Dib, then dangled the mistletoe over their heads.
"YOU HAVE TO KISSSSSSSSSS!!"
Dib stared at Zim, like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming semi.
"... huh?" Zim blinked, uncomprehending.
"IT'S MISTLETOE! MUST KISS!" GIR repeated.
"... A Christmas tradition. Any two people caught under the mistletoe has to kiss," Gaz explained as she put her game slave away, giving the two boys her full attention.
"... to kiss what?" Zim blinked.
"EACH OTHER!" GIR shrieked in Zim's ear. Zim's eyes widened as he paled. "MUST KISS!" GIR continued. Dib stared, blankly, at Zim while the Irken seemed to be at a total loss. Neither made a move, simply staring at each other. GIR blinked, then tilted his head. "I'll explode if you don't kiss," he said, cutely.
"Explode...?" Dib blinked, slowly.
"... He does that sometimes," Zim replied, dazed. Dib stared at Zim, sweating and blushing profusely. Zim blinked, innocently. It was the first time the invader truly looked innocent in front of Dib, which seemed to have a profound effect on the human. He blushed even brighter, his hands curling up in to fists.
"I feel all explooodeeeeyyy!" GIR sang, swinging the mistletoe back and forth over their heads. "Better HUUUURRRYYYY!"
Dib continued to stare at Zim until suddenly he found himself slowly leaning towards Zim. Zim blinked and tensed, unsure of what Dib was after. Dib continued to move closer as his hand reached up to touch Zim's cheek. Zim's eyes darted to look at Dib's hand, warily.
Zim was caught totally unaware when Dib, blushing brilliantly, pulled Zim close and captured Zim's lips with a sweet, tender kiss. Zim's eyes widened drastically as his cheeks turned the same color of his eyes. He remained perfectly motionless as Dib's lips grew bolder and more confident.
"Awwwwwwww!" GIR whimpered, adorably. A crooked smile crossed Gaz's face as Dib deepened the kiss, his hands moving from Zim's face to the Irken's waist. Zim shivered slightly as his eyes closed, his arms gently wrapping around Dib's neck.
GIR calmly walked over to Gaz and sat down on the couch, munching on his brownies.
"Awww," GIR repeated. "I love this show,"
"... Should we leave you two alone?" Gaz asked, her smirk widening, as she took out her game slave once more and proceeded to play it.
"... Mmmr?" was Zim's only response.
Dib, however, blushed brightly and abruptly broke the kiss. A look of disappointment crossed Zim's ruby eyes but he quickly hid it.
"COMMERCIAL BREAK!" GIR cried, clapping. Dib looked down, even more embarrassed than before. Zim glanced from GIR to Dib, looking rather confused. "I bet Master tastes like cupcakes," GIR said, suddenly. Zim's confusion increased as he stared at GIR.
"... Why not have a taste and see for yourself?" Gaz asked, grinning wickedly.
"... OKAY!"
Zim yowled and scrambled away as GIR took a flying leap off of the couch. GIR landed, roughly, on Zim's chest and leaned close for a brief kiss on the lips. GIR blinked at Zim, who sputtered violently, and cackled.
"YEP!"
Gaz snickered as Dib frowned, starting to feel rather jealous. GIR sat on Zim's stomach, giggling, as the Irken seemed highly irritated with him.
"Sugar and spice and everything nice!" GIR sang. Zim glared.
"... Frogs... and snails...," he hissed. "... and... PUPPY DOG TAILS!" he shrieked, lunging for GIR's tail. GIR yelped and ran, scrambling on the couch to avoid Zim's grip. Zim scrambled after and lunged, only to have GIR leap out of the way at the last second. He landed, roughly, on Gaz's lap.
"ACK!" Zim blinked, then waved his fist at GIR. "I WILL... DESTROY YOOOOU!"
Gaz blinked, then calmly set down her Game Slave on the couch. Zim realized where he was and made to scramble back with a yelp.
However, Gaz would have none of it.
Gaz quickly wrapped her arms around Zim's waist, preventing his escape, and grinned evilly.
"Since you're here...," she drawled. "I might as well get a taste myself,"
Zim stared and blushed, uncertain of what to do. Gaz leaned forward and kissed Zim with an intensity that blew the Irken's mind. Zim's eyes widened as he went limp, unsure of what to do as the human ravaged his mouth. Dib fumed as jealousy raged through him like an inferno. With deliberate, angry steps, Dib stormed over to the couch and grabbed Zim. He yanked the alien away from Gaz, growling.
"He's MY alien!" Dib hissed. Zim yelped in surprise and glanced at Dib, startled. Gaz glared at Dib, her arms grabbing Zim's waist firmly.
"And just how did you come to that conclusion?" Gaz hissed, yanking Zim back. "You think you own all the aliens. Well, you know what? You don't. You just don't,"
"This isn't like the cereal, Gaz!" Dib growled.
Zim squeaked as he found himself being yanked back and forth by Dib and Gaz. GIR cackled as he watched his master become the target of a horrible tug-o-war match between the two Membrane children.
"Let go!"
"Don't make me doom you,"
Zim whimpered as his head snapped about with every violent yank of the irritated Membrane offspring. After a few minutes, when Zim began to feel rather ill, the two Membranes stopped their tugging and stared at each other thoughtfully.
Silence filled the room as Zim fought down his urge to throw up when Dib finally tilted his head and blinked.
"... Gaz, we shouldn't be acting like this around Christmas," Dib muttered, thoughtfully.
"... I guess you're right," Gaz replied.
"Hey! I've got an idea!" Dib cried, then grinned wickedly. Zim gulped, unsure of what to think. "How about we share him?"
Zim looked rather startled as Gaz pondered Dib's proposal.
"... Share...?" Zim muttered.
"Hmm," Gaz grunted. She grinned at Dib. "Sounds good to me,"
Zim yelped as Gaz pulled him close, nuzzling against his back. Dib grinned, sinisterly, as he snuggled against Zim from the front, effectively sandwiching the alien between the two Membranes. Zim glanced between Gaz and Dib, blushing furiously as he blinked.
Dib rubbed his hands along Zim's hips, carefully avoiding the wound on Zim's leg, as he nipped at Zim's neck. Zim gasped and arched his back, then yelped when Gaz snuggled against his back and ran a tongue along one of Zim's antennas.
The contact against the antenna created an interesting sensation inside of Zim; a sensation that was far from unpleasant. Zim found himself purring, lightly, as his claws dug in to the couch.
Dib continued to nip Zim's throat, chuckling evilly to himself. Gaz continued to taste the antenna, her hands rubbing Zim's back sensually.
Zim's purring increased as a tiny spark seemed to flash up the length of his antenni. Gaz blinked, startled at the sensation, but smirked slyly and continued her attentions.
GIR watched, quietly, as he munched on his brownies.
Zim let out a tiny gasp and whimper as Dib and Gaz teased his body, enjoying every noise and whine that escaped their helpless victim. Zim mewled, adorably, as Dib and Gaz moved in for the kill, their hands slipping downward simultaneously.
Suddenly, the door swung open violently and hit the wall. Snow surged in to the room, carried by powerful winds. Dib started and stared at the door, hands grabbing Zim's hips. Gaz glanced at the door, though she seemed more curious than startled.
"Hahahaha! As if snow could defeat PROFESSOR MEMBRANE!"
Zim, Dib, and Gaz stared in shock as Professor Membrane strode in to the house, totally wrapped in soaked clothes and covered with snow. His skin looked rather blue and icicles clung to his hair, but he didn't seem to mind. He wielded a rather odd flamethrower made out of laptop parts, forks, and a car engine. He posed, triumphantly, as the door shut of its own accord.
"I HAVE ARRIVED FOR CHRISTMAS CHEER!" he announced. Zim squealed and slipped out from between the two Membranes, lunging behind the couch at amazing speeds.
Professor Membrane walked past the couch, grabbing a brownie off of the tray that GIR was holding.
"Thank you, funny kinky outfit wearing green dog I wasn't aware we owned!" he laughed, merrily.
"D-d-dad! You're home!" Dib sputtered, embarrassed as well as surprised. Even Gaz looked highly surprised, her eyes open wide.
"Of course!" Professor Membrane smiled, before munching on the brownie. "I promised, did I not?"
"But the message you left...," Dib began, weakly.
"Hoh?" Professor Membrane glanced at the answering machine. " I said I'd be delayed. Nasty snow, you know... but even snow can't keep PROFESSOR MEMBRANE down for long!"
"Uh... but... It must have cut off through the message...," Dib muttered, bewildered.
"... Hm! I see!" Professor Membrane paused to grab another brownie and eat it, as well. "... BUT! I'm here NOW!"
Zim fumbled to find his wig and contacts, trying desperately to avoid being seen.
"Yeah... I'm glad you're home, dad...," Dib smiled nervously, hopeful that their father hadn't noticed what they had been doing when he stormed in. Gaz noticed Zim's plight and grabbed both the contacts and the wig, then handed them to Zim discreetly. Zim accepted his disguise, thankfully, and quickly put them back on.
"BY THE WAY!" Professor Membrane cried, suddenly. He walked over and peered behind the couch, curiously. "Why is the funny foreign green kid hiding behind our couch?"
Zim stared in shock and horror at the professor, who simply looked at him with mild curiousity.
"W-we... uh...," Dib faltered, blushing.
"We invited him and his dog over for Christmas," Gaz interjected, calmly.
"OH!" Professor Membrane blinked. "I see! What a well-behaved dog. Good cook, too," he grinned, grabbing another brownie. Zim slowly climbed on to the couch and sat down, flustered, between Gaz and Dib. Gaz looked cool and calm as usual, but also seemed to be at peace. She almost smiled at her father. Dib looked incredibly embarrassed, face a brilliant red. Professor Membrane was totally oblivious as he slipped off his dripping coat and hung it on the wall.
"I would have been here sooner but you would not IMAGINE the fight that Simmons put up when I took apart his car!" he chuckled.
"... It's okay, dad," Dib smiled.
"Of course! Now then. I shall go make... CHRISTMAS COOKIES. Go back to whatever you were doing!" Professor Membrane cackled, before disappearing in to the kitchen.
As such was a rather embarrassing impossibility, the three simply sat on the couch and stared blankly at the television. GIR looked up, then shrieked with laughter as the Scary Monkey proceeded to beat up Santa.
Outside of GIR's insanity and the screeching of the Scary Monkey, a moment of uneasy silence filled the room as the three sat on the couch, unsure of what to do or say. Finally, Zim glanced at Dib nervously and arched an invisible eyebrow.
"So... is this what CHRIS-MAS BREAK usually entails?" he asked, uneasily. Dib blinked and looked at Zim, oddly.
"It's CHRISTMAS BREAK. And what do you mean?" he asked. Zim fixed Dib with a look that all but screamed that Dib knew exactly what he meant. Dib stared, then blushed brightly. "... Oh,"
"Heh heh," Gaz smirked.
"Well?" Zim demanded. "Is it?"
"Um...," Dib faltered. Zim glared at him, accusingly, then squeaked when Gaz ran a finger up his spine.
"Yes," she replied. "And you're staying over tonight,"
Zim stared at her, alarmed and shocked. Gaz simply grinned, wolfishly, as she leaned close to Zim.
"You can't go out in the snow," she replied. "And besides, we never really... FINISHED,"
"...," Zim stared. Dib blinked and glanced at his sister, then grew a similar grin on his face and winked at Zim.
"Sounds fun," he agreed. Zim let out a tiny squeak as GIR cackled happily and ran around the table. Dib continued to grin at Zim as he leaned closer, causing the tiny alien to shiver slightly.
"I...," Zim began but was immediately cut off by Dib, who put a finger to the Irken's lips. Dib shook his head, then smirked.
"... Merry Christmas, Zim,"